How to deal with your friends who act slutty when going out?

[Anonymous]

My friends and I went to a party last night and found some very attractive guys to play a game with. My one friend and I played with them 3 times in a row because they kept winning and said we could rematch them.

They were flirting with us we were having fun. Then my other friend came in extremely drunk, the friend I was playing with got even more drunk and started trying to distract the guys from the game.

They left the room eventually, leaving me to play by myself. The guys kept teasing me, the way I played or made up rules to mess with me or were nice and bent the actual rules to let me "win". Then after each game one guy hugged me and kept saying "I'll let you play one more time".

My drunk friends came back in and started acting very slutty (dancing on each other, showing their boobs and shoving themselves into the guys). Of course the guys wanted the distraction, and eventually, all the guys were all over them. I even told them I thought the guys were cute first, before they said anything, so they knew. My friend who I played the game with said "You can have that guy, I'll take the other guy"

I found out later that my one really drunk friend made out with one of the guys, even though another guy likes her (which they have made out and been talking for awhile but now she says "he's out of the picture"). Basically now, they are planning on going over to flirt with the guys, while I'm left in the dust, although I originally said I thought they were nice and cute.

I guess I'm just frustrated because every time I go out with my friends they act very different than normal, are all over the guys, while I stand back and watch (since I'm not going to throw myself onto them like they do). It's a night ruiner and it's kind of upsetting sometimes.

So, my question is how do you deal with friends like that? Other advice? Thank you! :)

[Darkfairie17]

I would go out with different friends. But if you have to go out with them again, make a plan. Make sure you know other people who are going to be at the party as well. That way if your friends start throwing themselves at guys again, you can check out of the situation and find your other friends. I do agree this situation sucks. Your friends should have more respect for themselves than to throw themselves at these guys, but it's their choice to act that way.

Best thing to do, talk to you friends. Make sure they know what they are doing. If alcohol is involved, maybe they are drinking too much and not realizing their actions.

It can be frustrating when these girls are trying to get all the attention. But honestly, if the guys are buying into that behavior , then they really aren't looking for a relationship. They are just going after the girls because they are putting on an easy show.

People are going to get sick of this. I have been to many parties and the wild girls are the one's who get made fun of by everyone else because it only makes them look easy and silly. Nothing wrong with wanting sex, but to be obnoxious about it loses one's respect.

[Asker]

Yeah many people there that we all knew from classes and such kept telling me "wow, look at them, I don't know what to think about that" So it was slightly embarassing. Maybe that's why the guys stopped talking to me, because they knew I'm not looking for a random hookup for a week and saw me as the innocent one so they stopped flirting and teasing me when my friends came around. The thing is, they were drunk, yet knew they acted that way. They act like that every time they go out, drunk or not

[Darkfairie17]

It's probably best then to just let them do what they want to do. Some people like attention, and need to have the spotlight always on them. Those are usually the ones who are loud about it too. Just go to the party, enjoy your time with other people. Don't let their behavior ruin the night. Talk to some of the people who are not giving into their obnoxious behavior . I'm sure there are guys who are glad you don't behave like that :)

[Asker]

Ok thank you! I love them so much because they are my friends and we get along so well, one of them and I are almost the same person, but slightly different. Just going out, they act like that and it get's to be very frustrating. Next time, I'll make sure to find other people to talk to and hang out with while they do their own thing, Thank you so much for your advice! It helped a lot! :)

[MizzVMN]

That's annoying. I'm often in the same situation with my cousin. When we go out, I usually find people to talk to, mostly boys. When she gets drunk she starts getting into my conversations and being really rude. She would come over and stand literally in front of me and start talking to the guy.

She also starts making out with random guys and rubbing up on them.

It gets annoying. But the way I figure it is if the guy I was talking to doesn't excuse her and continue with our conversation, then he really wasn't worth it.

Last time this happened I talked to her and told her I didn't like it. She said she didn't realize what she was doing, and that she blacks out sometimes. She's cutting back on her drinking.

Now we have code words for when we go out. If she's being rude to me, then I say cousin. If we see someone we don't want to, the word is terrorists. And if the night went bad and we got to go without being rude, the word is pineapples. Lol it's worked so far.

[Asker]

Haha that works, yeah I find it very annoying when they interrupt the conversation or game I'm playing and of course the guy will get distracted. I can see how you were frustrated too, it's basically the same situation as mine. Maybe I can talk to them about it and they will understand. Thank you!

[DebiPie]

I have some friends like that, and I really don't like that behavior because I don't want people thinking that I am like that. So, as soon as I see them starting to go into their "act," and if I am speaking to a man, I turn my back on that behavior, and I ask him if he would like to go over to a table or the bar to talk. I try to get as far away from them as I can. Distance yourself from that mess.

You've heard of "guilt by association?" Well, it goes for slutty by association too.

If you are with them and there are men around and you like one of them, tell your friends, "Hey! I like that one and please stay off of him while I am talking with him." If they have any respect for you at all, they will do so, if not, they are not your friends. Simple as that.

[Phoenix52]

Well, if there was a specific guy you wanted, stick up for yourself and tell your friends this:

"Hey, that blond guy with the blue eyes and white shirt - I like him. Let me talk to him first for a bit and then you can go ahead and tease him".

If your friends respect you, they will listen well and let you do your thing. If they do NOT listen, and go after the guy you want, then they're not good friends. And you're free to pull the teaser aside and tell her straight up to back off.

I've been in situations where me and 2 other guys were out and we spotted a girl we each liked. And I made a rule up saying that we should all be patient and let each other have their turns on her. That means, we each take a few minutes with the girl and talk to her. We each RESPECT EACH OTHER'S SPACE. If there is a problem, we can handle it in a civil manner by pulling each other aside and saying what's wrong.

So don't be afraid to speak your mind. Your 2 friends were drunk c0ckteasers, and the distraction most likely f*cked up an opportunity you could have had with one of the cute guys.

[Asker]

That's a good way to do it. Yeah I told my one friend, but the other was somewhere else and I didn't see her for awhile so I never told her. Yet even previously, I danced with a guy who was clearly interested in me (I know this because later, I saw him again and we exchanged numbers) when I told them this excitedly about how I danced with a cute guy, they kept talking about how they danced with him before and he tried to kiss them, or when he gave me his coat to use, they said he did the same.

[truecollors]

Personally I would stop going out with those friends. Shore keeps them as friends but just a little further away, because you don’t want to be looped into the “Slut group” and have rumors spread about you. If you make friends easily then hang with them, and yes you can pole your drunken friends away to talk to the guy you liked. If he likes you he’ll be glad to get away.

[tohrment]

Me and my friends have a system. We call "my gobby" (just silly words) on a guy, which means he's off limits to the others and we have to hit on them, lol. Talk to your friends about it, say it wasn't cool what they did in terms of messing with a guy you said you were interested in, and suggest a similar system.

If you're uncomfortable with their sluttiness, you're probably gonna have to choose other people to go out with. It's not really fair to expect them to change if they are enjoying themselves. Are they aware of how they act, or are they just piss drunk and pretend it didn't happen the next day? *shrugs*

[Alanaaa]

So you're mad that they took the attention away?

Just remember that, if a girl is lookin' easy.. That's the easiest way to get a guy. Just understand that they got the attention of the guys, for the wrong reasons. You don't need to lower yourself down to that level. Just talk to your friends about it, or find new friends to go out with.

[Asker]

Yeah I guess I'm mad because they know I've never had a boyfriend, I never usually go out, and basically I'm pretty innocent. So when I finally do go out, it's nice to get some attention but is frustrating when it's taken away by girls who get it all the time. Yeah I guess your right though, the guys probably only liked it because they acted that way. It's also frustrating too because they talk about it all the next day, about how the guys liked them, etc. Thank you!

[idrumsowhat]

If you are going manhunting (I know weird word work with me here) go alone or with ONE OR TWO friends that ARE NOT slutty.