Why do good guys always get played by girls?

[Anonymous]

This question is not a sexest question, I know it goes both ways both my emphasis is on females because they seems to do it more often than guys.

Updates

+1 y

Since this going to be heated discussion let me rephrase my question, I am a good guy, every time I meet a chick, she pretends she is into me and and sometimes takes advantage, we exchange numbers and text each other. But every time when I ask them to hang with me (just friends) they always wanted to make up excuses. I am tired of been mislead or played on if you don't want to be friends with me then just say it to my face. I rather you be honest with me than leading me on. It just pathehic.

Updates

+1 y

i know there's plenty of fish in the sea but its very hard to weed out the good ones from the bad, will I ever find girl who atcually wants to be mine rather than just toying with my emotions?

[Anonymous]

Girls (not all girls, but a lot of them) take advantage of nice guys because they think they will get something out of it. Say a super nice guy, (everybody's best friend) meets a girl and has a crush on her. He's a gentleman. He's willing to give her space, buy her gifts (in some cases), and throw himself in the mud for her to walk over, and she sees this as a no-strings-attached friend. As long as he doesn't know whether or not she likes him, he will continue to be nice to her like that. So she's elusive. She flirts, but not too much, she plays "hard to get" but in reality, it's impossible. I've seen it a million times and it's always the same. What you have to realize is, not all girls are like that, but if you are a "good guy" like this one, you will ALWAYS have someone do this to you, because you are open and vulnerable to it. HOWEVER, this doesn't mean you shouldn't be a good guy. This only means that you need some higher standards. Value self-respect, because if you don't respect yourself, nobody else can. Yes, you should be willing to go to the ends of the earth for someone, but NOT because they're the person you like, it should be because you do that for everyone. When you like a girl, you should make it perfectly clear that you will only allow her to hold your heart if she respects it. Picture this: the earlier scenario where the nice guy threw himself across the mud for his girl to step across. Now imagine him, with a bit more self respect. They are trekking through the mud together, each step a new adventure. Sure, he can still give her a boost sometimes, but only if she would do the same for him.

[Asker]

u made a good point, but it so hard to find a girl you who likes me for me and just pretend to flirt, if people didn't behave like this then everybody will find happeniess.

[Opinion Owner]

I know what you're saying, but that's the point. It's SUPPOSED to be hard to find a girl like that. Generally there's only one for you... (excluding of course any divorce/widower situations) If it were easy, true love wouldn't be so special. It's rare. Which should make it more valuable.

[Asker]

ok

[Anonymous]

Good people are easy preys, whether they are girls or guys, especially if they are inexperienced or naive and thinks life is all roses and lilies. I myself had this mindset till recently and therefore I was manipulated and hurt by the guy who I loved very much; even friends try to use me and fool me. Anyway, I understand your point here. You want to know why girls do such thing to good guys. I will tell you why.

Such girls are looking for an ego boost. When they play hard to get and guys run after them, they feel thrilled and as if they won a game. When guys walk away on them, they keep running after them saying they will change and promise to treat them right. They just miss the attention and the ego boost supply they used to have.

Such girls like to feed on guys' emotions. You are just a tool for her pleasure. People think those girls are confident and secure, but it's nothing like that. Usually those girls are very vragile on the inside that they want to miss that gap by playing others. They can't control their lives so they try to control others.

Such girls never find happiness by the way no matter how happy they might seem to you. They have great void inside and they are quite miserable.

The best thing to deal with a girl like that is to walk away and never regret knowing her because you have learned a lot and will make better choices later on.

Hope this helps. :)

[Opinion Owner]

@ update: Yes, you will be able to find a good girl who will give you her all and treat you like you deserve. Be patient and never settle for a girl who plays you. The best is yet to come. :)

[Asker]

thanks it does help!

[Opinion Owner]

I am glad. :) And thanks for BA.

[Asker]

whats BA?

[DaniJ]

BA means best answer.

[Asker]

ok

[Anonymous]

Look for girls in other places. If you're finding her in bars, clubs, etc, then she probably just wants attention for one night only.

I'm not sure what you mean by 'take advantage'.

Unfortunately, most of the female population does not like conflict or face-to-face confrontations (unlike our male counterparts). So, it's easier to be nice and encouraging to your face, then back off when you're not around. We don't like to hurt people's feelings, particularly if they're guys. And, by doing it when we don't actually have to look at you, we can convince ourselves that you're not being hurt by it.

You'll have to just get used to the mixed signals girls give until you find a girl who 'says yes'. Only a rare few girls are extremely transparent in their intentions towards guys.

[Asker]

i rather a chick be straight up honest with me than she blows me off because it makes me feel better that I don't have to waste time persuing her. FYI I do also meet girls at other places as well but they are all the same.

[Matrim]

Bad things happen to those that are not careful. And then you have the just plain bad luck.

PS! I think you are wrong when you say guys get played more often. Maybe it happens to you and people you know more often but that doesn't speak for the general population.

[Asker]

you may have a point there but I'm not just speaking from my experience, I know a lot of guys that got played by skanky women and its not just a generalization.

[Matrim]

Would you say that you know just as many girls as you know guys and that you also know them just as closely? If not you can see how the statistics could be a bit off :)

[Matrim]

Also don't forget that this has happened to you a few times so you can't be objective really.

[Asker]

it has happend to me most of the time and yes I can be objective because its is fact that women feed on attention from men than women. It may not have happend to you but I can honestly speak for every guy that has been hurt by women. I know it may sound like I'm been sexest but I'm not, I'm only just backing up my statements.

[Matrim]

A fact? really. What are your sources?

[Asker]

google it

[Matrim]

LOL

[Asker]

yep

[Lilyaris]

Aw! That sucks. Actually, it was the other way around for me. However! I think it's just bad luck. You just happen to be a good guy, while she's a not-as-good-as-you-thought girl. Try again.

[Asker]

thanks will do