Tips for living with a "macho" boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I'm usually into guys who are fun, easy going, laid-back, etc. But mostly dominant guys are into me. I've got a boyfriend who has a lot of traits I like - intelligence, etc -- but who is way more macho and dominant than I usually go for.

I'm trying to roll with it, but I find myself getting irritated whenever he tells me what to do or makes me listen to his various tirades about who he's pissed off at. What are some tips for dealing with a macho guy?

[TheDigitalSaint]

I am a very dominant guy. Some girls have tried to "tame" me before and have failed miserably.

Here's how I would explain it:

Girls are attracted to dominance with few exceptions. A dominant guy that is self-aware knows that girls only respect men who are who they are without the girl's approval. We know that the moment we spend excess energy trying to wonder if you "approve" of us, that usually when your attraction for us starts to drop.

Using myself as an example, if I see a girlfriend's friends are a bad influence or doing immature behavior, I'll call them out on it. I'm not shy, nor do I mind setting the record straight. You know what you're getting with me, so sometimes that comes in the form of calling out others.

Click on my profile here on GAG. Read my answers, you'll see they provoke strong responses. Most people agree with them, but many times you'll see that I genuinely offended someone. I honestly don't care about offending someone if I feel that I harsh truth needed to be stated. I don't walk on eggshells because I am a dominant man.

You don't tame a macho man. He is who he is. Unless he does a behavior that is really beyond the pail, you can't really call him out. You either tolerate the behavior as part of the package that attracted himself to you in the first place or you find another man.

[Asker]

I'm not really into this type, but most of the non-dominant guys who are still sexually attractive are manwhores, as they have the social grace to get along well with females. Any practical tips for getting used to having my actions dictated and listening to soapboxes every night?

[TheDigitalSaint]

There's a fine line between someone who is hyper-critical and who has strong opinions. Your problem is that most guys that are less opinionated which are the types that are far more scared to ask a girl out in the first place. Who is your boyfriend going off on anyways?

[Deft_maiden]

Agreed but Who knew men can be so wordy :)

[TheDigitalSaint]

I'm speaking to a girl. Girls like details. That's why we have sites like GAG. :)

[Deft_maiden]

@ saint Yes they do :)

[Asker]

Actually, in my experience the easy-going guys have been the ones who are hard to date -- if they are decently attractive and socially skilled, they are usually really promiscuous and don't care to put effort into a relationship. He isn't mean to me, just frustrated with any number of random people (someone from the gym, his coworkers, his boss, someone at the grocery store, etc).

[TheDigitalSaint]

A guy that is sure of himself doesn't always need to pick fights with others. Quieter guys generally speaking have a hard time articulating what bothers them and it makes it harder to date them at times because you won't know if something is wrong until after you find out later, whereas more dominant and outspoken guys will tell you what's on their mind, regardless if you want to hear it or not, but at least you know where they stand.

[Anonymous]

If you see yourself with this guy for a while...then you have to learn how to put up with some of his ways. We all have traits others won't like. Especially in relationships, you are always learning things from your partner you may or may not like. Especially if you have never dated a guy like this before.

Now if he starts to be controlling/trying to belittle you then you have to cut him loose.

[Asker]

I'm asking "how" do I learn to put up with his ways? Sometimes I resent that fun, funny guys aren't into me ... but then I feel bad because that isn't his fault.

[Deft_maiden]

Feed his ego and then carry on as usual. That's pretty much it.

[TheDigitalSaint]

This is sound advice, but do it in a funny/non-confronting way. That's how dominant guys roll. Read my full answer above for more details.

[Deft_maiden]

@ saint thank you and that is why I said feed his ego. Other wise it would be confrontational :)