What's a polite way to ask her about her relationship status?

[StrumSetShred]

I've been texting this girl that I met and she is very busy, which I get, so she doesn't always reply in the most timely manner. Or sometimes doesn't reply at all. I'm beginning to suspect that she has a boyfriend. What's the best way to ask her if she does or not? I'd like to know because I plan on asking her out and I don't want to look like a fool if she has a boyfriend.

"Are you currently in a relationship?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"So... I've been meaning to ask but, are you single?"

Stalk her and find out for myself?

Updates

+1 y

Okay, so a lot of people have been saying to give compliments with the addition of assuming that she has a boyfriend. Something like," Gosh you look so good in that outfit. I bet your boyfriend must love it." After reading like 4 of these answers, I thought about adding comedic relief to the awkwardness and the first thing that popped into my head was the "Can I Have Your Number" skit from madtv.

Updates

+1 y

The scenario would go something like this:


Me: Gosh you look so good in that outfit. Your boyfriend must love it.

Crush: Thanks. But I don't have a boyfriend.

Me: (in Darrel's voice) Oh you don't?! Okay okay okay okay. Well... you know... In that case... You know... Listen... maybe I could take you out sometime. You know to like dinner or somethin. You know.

Crush: oh my my my. Handsome and funny. Of course I will go out with you.


That's just how I think it'd go down.

Updates

+1 y

BTW Darrel is from the skit. If you haven't watched it I suggest that you do. It's friken hilarious.

[Dylan1989]

B and C are both good. But here's another option. You can have a casual conversation with her and while you're talking about her (or what she likes or whatever) you casually talk about a situation of hers and talk like she already has a boyfriend. For example, if she likes doing a lot of shopping you say to her "I'm sure your boyfriend has a lot of patience to go shopping with you", or something like that. She will either reply by saying "I don't have a boyfriend to go shopping with" or if she does have a boyfriend she will say something about him when they go shopping. You see, with either response you will find out whether she does have a boyfriend or not. However, with the second response you don't know whether she actually has a boyfriend or whether she is sugar coating the truth because she knows you're interested in her. I've used this technique quite a few times and always get the answer I need. Give it a try.

[Nashton]

are you asking her through text or in person.

if its text just ask her if she has a boyfriend because you don't want to infringe on a relationship

if its in person

then I would, in a playful flirting way assume that she has a boyfriend. I'd say something like

"haha I bet you and your boyfriend go to that place"

or after saying something to tease her

"Sorry, don't tell your boyfriend!"

or

"you and your boyfriend have plans tonight?"

idk anything that assumes she has a boyfriend.

then she say something like " o I don't have a boyfriend" or "i wish I had a boyfriend"

and BAM!

worked for me in the past.

and if she says something like "how'd you know I have a BF"

say something like you just seemed like you do. and be Mr. Mysterious and fade into the night

[musicbrain5]

B and C are both good. However, I personally prefer option B because it is easier to insert into a regular conversation though - especially if you're still getting to know each other a bit, because that's a question that can help you get to know this girl. And if she asks you if you have a girlfriend first, then I think it's okay to just repeat the question back to her if you know what I mean. That would be totally fine with me if we were talking to each other. Good luck.

[musicbrain5]

Also if you do ask her out and she does happen to have a boyfriend, you won't look like a fool. A) You didn't know about her boyfriend and B) she will be flattered that you asked her out anyways. This has happened to me twice since I've been with my boyfriend, and although I had to decline, it still made my day that someone else thought I was cool enough to want to go on a date with. It really is a compliment for her no matter how you look at it.

[StrumSetShred]

It may not make me look like a fool if I was just going to ask. But my band and I are going to serenade her then I'm going to ask her. So the embarrassment level is a little bit higher if she's already in a relationship.

[Skyler123]

Just ask her if she has a boyfriend. Just say something like: "so I've been wondering do you have a boyfriend?" If she says no and asks why you ask...then maybe you should reconsider dating her. Its as simple as that though. You simply flat out ask her if she has a boyfriend she knows you like her. That's the objective to let her know you like her and would like to pursue a relationship with her. Just ASK! :)

[sikoo31]

You're speaking as if its more likely that she'll say she's single. When fact, most girls our age are taken. This way he's not making it awkward after if she says she's taken. Imagine askin a guy if he's taken and him sayin he is. Now he's gonna know you like him and not talk to you the same way.

[Skyler123]

That was not my intention. Essentially that's what most people are after in the first place when they ask if a guy/girl is seeing someone. If they know you like them and they are in actuality taken then that's too bad. At least they tried to go after what they want. Yes they do pose a chance of losing their friendship in doing so but its ultimately better that they do anyway because they'd just be hurting them self being their friend while seeing the person they like with someone else.

[sikoo31]

lol now you're talking like a guy can't handle jealousy. we guys tend to get over girls with boyfriend pretty quick. I usually never worry about it again once I find out she's taken.

[Skyler123]

Nah, its not about jealousy. It's about feelings being involved. A guy just can't randomly unlike a girl if she's taken especially if his feelings for her has grown over time. How many guys on here have posted about a girl that knows like them but is taken and how they're hurt about it is a clear indication that its a common occurrence. It's not about jealousy at all, its about being able to let go of that person once you've been rejected. Which does take time of course.

[Standingpretty]

Lol I put stalk her because I felt like troll'n...jk

Anyways...I don't think any of the ways you would ask are that good. I think the best way to ask would be like "so, how does your boyfriend feel about that?"(put it as a joke) or "so how long have you been with your bf" leaving her to either answer "I don't have one" or a number. Good luck.

[DebiPie]

I would just ask her, "Hey, do you have a boyfriend? Because I would like to ask you out."

Short, direct, and to the point.

[DebiPie]

I think we have a winner!

[StrumSetShred]

Oh, you read the update? Haha

[DebiPie]

Um, I don't think I'd play those games with her, like playing around with the "your boyfriend must like that...blah blah blah." She's going to see right through that if she has half a brain & she'll think you're squirrelly. Just ask her if she has one. She'll think better of you if you do. You know, she'll respect you more because you go after what you want, you don't beat around the bush being all namby pamby about things. Give this a thought.

[sikoo31]

does she know you like her? I mean, have you tried to make it clear at least a little?

if you have, then all you have to do is ask her if she has one or not.

just be like, "so, a girl like you has to be taken, right?"

she'll take it as a complement that you think she's too good to be single. so even if she is taken, at least she'll remember you for the sweet complement.

and if she's single, you might have a better chance with her.

unless she hates sweet complements.

[Skyler123]

I HATE when guys ask me that. He should just flat out ask her if she has a boyfriend. Its forward and isn't filled with lame compliments plus it shows that he is clearly interested in her. So many guys has asked me if I have a boyfriend in that manner and it just comes off as being...like every other dude. Being simple is the best way to go.

[Anonymous]

What is also interesting is that all the SINGLE girls on here really want you to just ask. That probably reflects how they feel about a guy that is beating around the bush with them.

But if it IS a girl with a boyfriend, she is probably despising the moment that she loses someone she was hoping was becoming a friend because you are romantically interested in her.

I imagine from the taken girls point of view, this question IS actually annoying.

But hell...apparently all the single ladies want their dream guy to ask them out.

Question...what if it is NOT their dream guy?

[Modernman2006]

Usually in conversation a woman will do two things either say she has one right away or if you had a 30 minute conversation with her and she said that she did she might be on the fence with her and wants to get to know you better. Otherwise have some confidence and ask her straight up.

[ryanontario]

i personally prefer not to ask , usually would find out over time or maybe her Facebook page woud say . I definity find this an awkward subject to bring up when talking to a girl . usually though its pretty obvivous if she has a boyfriend or is single , girls usually act different I notice and signs wither way are given

[Prof_Don]

I say directly ask her if she has a bf...

...honestly, she'll respect you as a man, if you do that instead of actng "wussy" and beating around the bush around the topic; that is feminine behavior and she probably deals with a lot of that sh*t already with her female friends.

Don't be scared of her; she's a person just like you. 8-)

[yesthisisme]

B or C work fine. I was asked Option B just yeaterday. I've never been offended by the question either, so I wouldn't sweat it (:

[emmiroxursox]

so I'm guessing you haven't asked her out yet? lol thought you were going to ask her Friday?

[StrumSetShred]

Yeah. My band f***en flaked on me again.

[emmiroxursox]

haha that's too bad so when are you planing it now?

[StrumSetShred]

I'm at that point where my mentality is just like," F***It." I'm just going to walk up to her doorstep and ask her out. But I've put so much thought into it that it'd be a shame to let all of my work go to waste.

[emmiroxursox]

Hmm true but if you get together you could always use it for some other special occasion like I don't know her birthday? Or you could just tell her about your big plan

[StrumSetShred]

I could, but then all of that time that I put into planning and all would become nothing more then a story.

[emmiroxursox]

i guess.. so you made this huge plan and sh*t but you didn't even know if she was single?

[StrumSetShred]

The question just popped into my head now, which is why I asked it here.

[emmiroxursox]

hmm

[StrumSetShred]

Yeah but I'm pretty sure she doesn't, otherwise she wouldn't have been giving me all of those signals. Unless she's just a flirt, but I HIGHLY doubt that's the case with her. She's just so perfect for me. You know?

[emmiroxursox]

aww yes, I think you two will be cute together with what you have said about her,

"it's not how you ask her out, it's what comes after"

^ I just thought of this

[StrumSetShred]

Great quote. Ill make sure to remember that one.

[emmiroxursox]

lol, score! I made a thing!

sorry for my overexcitement

[StrumSetShred]

Be excited. It's good.

[emmiroxursox]

:D

[yopyopyop]

Just ask her out already. If she has a boyfriend or if she is not interested, she'll ignore (which is already a bad sign) or say no, and you'll know where you stand.

[andre251]

My line is..

"...so...are you a single lady?..."

say it while grinning for the right...rhetoric.

Good luck

[themastaplan]

why not compliment her... on what she's wearing...

wow, I bet your boyfriend likes seeing you in your outfit...that way she can respond with "yeah he likes it" or "i don't have a boyfriend"

[angel_face1988]

just don't stalk her pick her brain about it and see what her response is

[StrumSetShred]

I didn't understan your answer for the longest time, but now I do. And yeah I just might. Oh BTW check out the update. Ima do it.

[angel_face1988]

sorry I was typing in a rush

[xobrowneyedbeauty]

B. it's the most concise and direct. the rest are too wordy. you don't need to explain (i've been meaning to ask) and you don't need to use the word currently (sounds too formal).

[Elenesephy]

I stand for B.A girl may have crushes,flirtmates,friends with benefits that may fall under A C and D.what matters is:they are not her boyfriend so don't throw away your chance.

[kheserthorpe]

Just ask her out. If she hasn't told you, you won't look like a fool, because you had no way of knowing.

Asking her without asking her out makes you look like a wuss.

[HeidelbergGirl]

The beautiful invention of Facebook has made relationship stalking so easy, thus totally D.

[obligations]

I would just ask her out. Ull find out that way as well...cause being single doesn't automatically make a girl interested.

[MrEM4N]

Option C but take out the "Ive been meaning to ask" part. Just be straight forward about it. "So you're single?"

[Anonymous]

Asking her out (if she has a boyfriend) doesn't make you look like a fool.

[raptor]

I'd go with "Are you seeing anyone?" rather than specifying boyfriend.

[Little-Hippie]

If she has a boyfriend that she wants you to know about, she'll let you know.