Is it always a red flag when women have more than one kid (2-3) with different men? (Page 2)
Click "Show More" for your mentions
Most Helpful Opinion(mho) Rate.
Learn more
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
30Opinion
I am one of these mothers..and just like the saying goes.. DONT JUDGE A BOOK BY IT'S COVER.. You do not know anyones story..for instance.. My oldest childs father and I were best friends since grade school.. As we hit our teenage years (16-19) we began a physical relationship.. We were never what you would call a "couple" even with our precautions taken I became pregnant..we maintained our friendship and coparent my oldest son.. When my son was 3 months old I got with a man.. After four years I had baby number two with father number two.. I spent 5 more years with father number 2.. The worst decision I made was not being careful enough and becoming a young mother.but I wouldn't trade my children for the world. By no means should it toss up any flags..no matter what color.. First find out how her situation came about before you judge
I have three kids with two different fathers. I was married at 15 and our marriage just fell apart. He started doings drugs and when I couldent help him stop I left for my own sanity. I remarried and had another child.
I don't judge people,life happens.
I don't think a girl in that situation gets around more than anyone else. I just think they haven't been as careful as other people. Or haven't learned from their mistakes. That is just what I think. And I am really sorry if I stepped on anybodies toes. I just wanted to give an honest answer.
I see a lot of women get labelled for that but when its between 2-3 kids I don't judge until I know the person but if she has 4 or more and non of them have the same father and they all young and no more than 2 years apart...u gotta think twice cause its not a good look. No way around it.
(Now go answer my question Mister...I would like a Male's opinion...lol.)
Yup, most likely a red flag. I'd be thinking something along the lines of how she didn't learn how to choose better men or made the same mistake somehow.
It'd also be a red flag if it was a guy who had multiple children with more than one woman.
Of course, this is assuming they're single parents.
@_@
LOL
It is always a red flag. But red flags signal potential threat, not real threat per se.
If such a girl screws you over, you can't really say that there was no red flag right?
And if it goes well and she's great, you should expect someone to say: "Sure there was a red flag, but I trusted her".
I think so, but then again the first thing that comes to mind is the Maury show and "You are not the father!" and those women need more than red flags! But it depends on the person too, I'm sure some are careless, slutty and in some cases just dumber than a sack of hammers. But others, like you said have relationship issues in regards to keeping them or possibly rape, which is an entirely different issue
It is circumstances, if the woman was in serious relationships, or was married it's understandable things do happen. I believe that when a woman is single and have children without even being in a relationships is morally irresponsible, not only for her but the children expecially when she can't support them on her own, and expects the fathers and state to pay her way cause she can't keep a job and abandons the children to go party and get high. Instead of giving them time with their fathers she leaves them with who ever.
If she's a really nice person or has a nice body, then maybe the guys used her for sex. If she's around the age of 25, then most likely products of one night stands. There are a lot of different ideas on who she is. Maybe she was a fast paced dater. There are endless possiblities, but do try and keep an open mind about her before you make any judgements.
No, actually. My mom was married to my father for 8 years had me then divorced and got remarried to my step father 4 years later and had me. No it doesn't mean that the woman is a whore, I think people need to look at the big picture of things. Perhaps they are responsible when it comes to raising their children. I just think it's funny that the same people that bash abortion call women with kids by different men sluts. It's like if you abort the baby then you are a murderer and if you keep it you have evidence of sleeping with men. Age, time between pregnancies, whether or not they were in serious committed relationships or not all factor in. You can't paint everyone with a broad brush like that. This is the 21st century and there are numerous types of families. Don't demonize a specific group because you are too narrow minded to understand another lifestyle or family than your own.
Is there an issue going on with a woman if she has 4 kids all with different dads?
so she had you twice?
Oh yeah lol missed that I meant my brother, no offence but your kinda slow on the uptake if it took you 2 months to realize the error. At 7gnat no it doesn't matter if a woman ha 10 kids with 10 different men a long as she is a a good mother. I just think it's a witch hunt, maybe you should look at why men can abandon their children.
im not slow... is that I never read your answer at first, till now that I'm bored out of my mind and decided to read everyone's single answers
One father is understandable. She was in love, she thought they'd be together forever, he turned out be be a douchebag... eh, it happens. I like/want kids, so I could probably get past that.
Two different fathers? Well, fine if she's still WITH one of them. If she's not, then it shows that she doesn't have incredibly good judgement. That'd probably be a deal breaker for me, because that's a lot of emotional baggage to carry.
Three or more fathers? You've got to be kidding me.
Hell yeah it should tip you off to be careful, if she just sleeps around and is too dumb to use birth control then stay away. And even if she's a good woman who just had bad luck with a bunch of different guys there's gonna be some big baggage to handle there
I'd see this as a red flag in a guy also not just a girl.
If you are having multiple kids with multiple people it probably means you have a hard time finding what you really want, knowing what you really want, or you just are too complicated to have a relationship with and don't know what you want.
Well it's not really that big of an issue with me since I'm with a guy (thank God) who was with a girl who didn't want to have any kids so he doesn't have any kids...
Another factor could also be that they have terrible taste in men. Men who cheat, abuse or leave when they get bored. I am sure this is the case with some of them.
which that is a real red flag... not having control of your decisions or being aware of the consequences
Not necessarily. A lot of guys may start out as prince charming, but then do a 360. That isn't the girls fault.
Very true. Yet another aspect to this.
If she was raped by two men and, out of the goodness of her heart, decided to have the babies, not abort them...?
However, by your standard she should've aborted so she isn't perceived to be a slut and rejected by men from a distance.
Todays score:
Pro-choicer +1
Pro-lifers -1
...um wtf where did you start pulling that out of?
@pan: from the one who pulled the rabbit out of his narrow sided extremity. Like the one you see in the mirror every day?
In that case, she should've done the kind thing and given them up for adoption. Single mothers are screwing their kids over in cases where they decide to have kids alone--studies show kids NEED both parents, especially sons, who do better being raised by father alone than by mother alone.
@andy: perhaps you could've been so kind as to take one of the kids up for adoption yourself? Or perhaps the thought of giving them away was more tramautizing for her than keeping them? Or perhaps you should shut your bigot mouth all together.
There's a ton of people looking to adopt kids.
@zag: You jerk! A woman can take care of two kids on her own! Don't you dare think it impossible.
To answer your other delusion: NO! There aren't a ton of people looking to adopt, there's a ton of children who are in NEED of adoption. Of course, if you're one of the unfortunate ones to be born with mental illness or deformacy, expect to be on the waiting list indefinitely (and that's a lot of children out there like that in the world. Do us all a favor and adopt one of them).
You should at least said more than 2 and never been married, Because you could have been married divorce and remarried. But women with 3 baby daddy's or more and never been married, Is very poor judgement. I've been married and my kids are by my husband , And I'm glad. I never like different baby daddy's, That's why you should be married before having children. But things in love does happen to people , You never know.
depends how old she is and how far the kids are spaced apart. if they are like one year old, 2 year old and 5 month old with all different dads then yes lol
I think it is in most instances, not in all, but in most yes. It shows that maintaining a relationship isn't one of her strong points and like you said making the good decisions in the relationship isn't a strong point either.
It shows poor judgement and not being that intelligent, on her part. I understand if it's 2 different daddy's but, that's pushing it.
How is it that a personal opinion can be turned into a fight.. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.. Bashing anyone for any mistakes in life is never ok.. I see all these answers and I'm appauled at the name calling.. Yes sometimes a mother with more than one baby father could be from bad personal choices but YOU DONT KNOW FOR SURE.. Before you judge anyone else you better make sure you're perfect