I feel like I'm going to die alone without a girl?

[Forever_alone]

My girlfriend of 2 years told me that she needs to find help for her self confidence issues and that she has to break up with me because I don't deserve to have less than 100% of her. She felt uncomfortable every time I complimented her and caressed her because she hates herself. I told her I'd wait for her to get better and go through therapy and she said she hopes she will but told me to move on if it takes too long.

I feel like I'm going to die alone because I won't find that one girl who will love me. I don't have enough confidence to approach girls and have to wait for them to chase me. Has any guy dealt with these feelings? I feel major depression. I keep trying to work out to feel better but it only hurts more. Do my ex and I have a chance? Do I have a chance with anyone? I'm 19 and feel like once I hit medical school, life ends for me without a girl. My one biggest fear in life is dying alone.

[thetheme]

Ok let me tell you this and please be open minded so that you can understand.

She left YOU because she didn't want YOU. Attraction isn't a choice, and she wasn't attracted to you enough to stay with you. She wanted to let you off easy. Do you honestly think that she isn't attracted to anyone else out there? You should NEVER wait for a girl to come back. Most girls move on before they leave you.

It's called SELF confidence for a reason. She doesn't want to give YOU 100%? Let me ask you. Do you know girls that wouldn't be with certain guys out there? If a certain guy approached girls they will instantly be with them without thought. Why? It's because they are ATTRACTED to those guys for some reason, and there's more to attraction than just looks when it comes to girls (actors, singers, etc.).

Let me guess. You treated her good, you were the guy that girls "want" and what girls are "looking for" and she told you how good you were and that she doesn't "deserve" you. Guess what, it was you treating her good that turned her off. If she is young just like you, at that age being with the right guy is boring for girls. Trust me when I say she gave you excuses.

Now let me say this. Don't wait for someone to come to you and don't believe that BS that someone is out there for everyone because it's NOT guaranteed. Most guys learn this the hard way. There are things that YOU have to realize. You are going to have to grow some balls, change your game and start approaching girls. Many girls can smell a wussy a mile away and that's a turn off.

If you wait for girls you will be waiting forever. Are you willing to wait years or decades for someone that can make the same excuse this girl just gave to you within days? You have to live for NOW. It's goes by too fast. Consider that what you were doing with this girl was all wrong. What girls won't tell you when you are a good guy or a nice guy is that it's not you, it's what you were doing.

Was your ex feeling this way when you first met her? No. Weren't the two of you having good times a month ago, a week ago? She left you for a reason, but it's not what she told you. So leave her alone. Now is the time to focus on YOU. It's called SELF confidence/esteem for a reason.

STOP looking for "love" and look for a good time. Have you ever heard of Tom Leykis? If you haven't look him up. Trust me, he can give you the advice you need to hear. Depression will get you nowhere. You have to have love for yourself before others can. If you don't see and act upon the good qualities about yourself, how can a girl? It starts with YOU.

DON'T wait because life and other great girls will pass you by. Girls can wait because they are always approached but guys can't. Life is a learning process and is also a harsh teacher. I have dealt with these feelings and I have been in the similar situation, so trust me when I say it starts with YOU.

[visual]

This is great.

[Forever_alone]

I can't approach girls. I've been rejected too often. She isn't someone who stopped talking to me. She starts conversations now that we're broken up. She is attending therapy next month. Well its not fair they can wait and I can't.

I'd rather the girl come for me so she won't reject me. I treated her like a princess yeah I was lied to I guess. But what should I hit her and stuff? Should I become a jerk? I tried that for a couple of days and I hated myself.

[Forever_alone]

I need something else because there is no way I can approach them. I don't have the body to. I'm 5'8. I don't have the skills. What should I do? Be abusive? I feel like hurting someone because post breakup I just want to hurt others to get even.

[thetheme]

Don't hit girls. There is a difference between being a jerk and domestic abuse. Hitting is just wrong and I would never encourage that. Trust me, you DO have the skill set to approach girls. The first thing you have to do is STOP caring what others think of you. The second is believe in yourself and put yourself first. Third is rejection along with losing builds character. It's not winning all the time that shapes us, it's losing sometimes.

[thetheme]

Becoming the alpha male is about showing man qualities. Falling down and getting back up, not giving up, moving forward. Being a leader, but also being smooth. Being cooler than the breeze and hot to trot. You can't just say you are the best or "act" it, you have to BELIEVE it. Believe in yourself and others will too. THIS is what confidence is and jerks have these qualities that attract girls.

[Forever_alone]

Losing hasn't done anything to shape character for me. I need something to actually believe in. If I don't get any girls what confidence is there to have? There is no way to just start believing. This is why I need girls to approach me, so I won't get shut down. Maybe if I looked like an actor or was taller, or didn't look like sh*t, it would be different. I care about what I think of myself and I think I'm a loser who can't get a girl.

[BadGrim]

Jesus you sound like a p****...time to be a man and men get sh*t done. you may not like me just by the first little bit you read but your interested in what I'm about you say...arn't you...arn't you?...the truth is you need to be an a**hole every once and awhile, you need to be a d*** a prick and a douche...oh and a tool. but only act as if don't actually be one. get the point yet...i don't think your a p**** I'm just f***ing with you but it pissed you off didn't it...if you want a women to love you forever be what every women wants...she wants a nice guy, a funny man...someone with confidence and she wants what every girl wants a bit of a bad boy...you gotta be Romeo and the terminator at the same f***in time...we are young and we are gonna have a lot of women come and go in our live the key is even tho you fought your hardest you never let the battle get the best of you...so get up drink a beer and forget about her...and just keep in mind for the next girl...be the nice guy but act like a total d***head. words to live by brother..words to live by.

[relationshipDNA]

You are what you say you are, and if you're walking, thinking, and talking like a loser, that's what you'll be. You are just emitting self loathing, sadness, and insecurity and that's why you're having a hard time keeping these girls.

Honest, nice and kind are great attributes to have in a man, but if he's not confident it also makes him sad. Look, you may not be the best looking guy around, but I'm sure you're no Igor either. We will believe what you want us to believe and what you're making us believe is that you're weak and sad. Stop this negative thinking, find what your greatest assets and qualities are and exploit the hell out of them.

We're all a little insecure about something. The difference is, in whether you let those insecurities overshadow your qualities.

Chin up. You might think you've got it bad, but a million people have it so much worst. In your head things always seem more grave than they really are. That's human nature. You're young and you have the power to make the life you want.

[Forever_alone]

She broke up with me because she always struggled with insecurities no matter the compliments I gave her. I also told her where I was whenever she asked. She broke up with me to go to therapy and she said she couldn't handle a relationship.

This is about approaching and attracting. I can fake confidence very well, it just never goes anywhere. I used to think I'd have a girl that wanted just me, but it seems like I have to be an *sshole to attract one.

[relationshipDNA]

You'd probably attract more girls as an a**hole but you wouldn't be any happier. Don't change. I say change the girls you're going for.Try changing your strategy. I believe in focusing on the things you ca control. Don't get jaded. Get smart.

[amandathegoalkeeper]

Don't worry about a thing. I thought the same thing. Not out of lack of confidence though, but because I usually can't stand other people. But I've found someone, believe it or not. Sometimes, it's a waiting game. A few things to keep in mind:

1. Don't hate yourself. Easier said than done. I know. But don't. If you're going to medical school, you're smart. That's something to adore about yourself. Intelligence is always attractive, trust me. Also, you're working out. That's good. Don't let it hurt more. Think of it this way: you're working out to better YOURSELF, it's pursuit of self improvement, not impressing other people.

2. Your ex and you will depend. I can't answer that.

3. You have a chance with anyone. Anything can happen. Seriously. Speaking from experience.

4. You won't die alone. Not everything is about bodies with girls. You know if you're nice or not. If you're a good person. If you are, YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE. GARUNTEED.

[Forever_alone]

Well it is, because I'm learning all that stability/white knight crap doesn't work at all with girls. I'm thinking of being the d-bag who gets more girls and being abusive. At least I might not die a virgin that way

[amandathegoalkeeper]

Don't be the d-bag, idiot. That won't work in the long run. You may not die a virgin, but you sure as hell will die alone. No one said you had to be a knight in shining armor. Just be yourself. You know why d-bags get girls? They are (or at least act) confident. Be confident in yourself without being an a**hole and you'll die not a virgin and not alone.

[Anonymous]

You have to at least be receptive to conversation and be places people will talk to you. You said your ex approached you in the past, right? So, don't let your upset mind fool you that all is helpless. Also, read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. You can get it in most any library. Focus on feeling better -- work out, get your mind right before worrying about dating again.

[Frunkiss]

Although you weren't specific on the circumstances getting rejected 4 times is nothing. I try to pick up women when I have the time and sometimes I have bad days where I get rejected 5 or 6 times a night and then sometimes I score right away. I'm just going to go ahead and say it, women are chaotic beings that don't know what they really want themselves and you can't let yourself get down because of rejection. There is a good chance the circumstances for the rejection were out of your control anyways.

Approaching will definitely help. If you go to bars enough I guarantee you some drunk slore will eventually approach you but who has that kind of time? Just keep approaching and trying to make things happen and eventually you'll get something.

[Forever_alone]

Well the rejections were nasty and probably because I'm not that handsome. I just don't see the point of asking unless I know I won't get heartbroken.

[Frunkiss]

I know the feeling bro. I think I'm above-average looking but I also have average white guy features. My buddies are all handsome and tall and pull mad tail so that makes it hard too. You just have to harden your heart. You don't have to be an a**hole but you have to be a little selfish and interesting. I don't know it is true though that you can't just be yourself and be an average guy to attract women. You have to act like you normally wouldn't in some ways.

[Forever_alone]

I am deciding to give up though. I have friends like yours and feel like it is just a waste to hang with these friends if the girls look at them instead of you.

[Frunkiss]

Yeah I might start going out alone. I kind of look at it that competing with them makes me a stronger person and more attractive in the end but looks play a HUGE part in attraction so no matter how funny or interesting I am I will still lose 9/10 times.

[shenholds09]

Life never ends at medical school or after or before lol. I just saw on the news the other day two people met and got married at the age of 70. You have PLENTY of time 19 is still hung! And I'm sure everyone has felt like this at one point in time. I'm sorry your going through this

[Anonymous]

If you don't attempt to be social you won't be around anyone and you'll continue to feel lonely. So the question is even if you risk another broken heart isn't it more worth it to you to feel the occasional moments of happiness with someone or to wallow in self pity and push people away?

[Forever_alone]

There is no one to have occasional moments of happiness with.

[Opinion Owner]

The 7some odd billion other people on the planet would disagree. The problem is the wallowing, the more you do that the less likely you are to meet someone new.

[Forever_alone]

I should have said it differently. No one for me. I'm tired of being the guy people say that stuff too.. "Oh you're great, kind, a real catch" and then I'm still a virgin at 19. It's like the difference between a girl hating you and no girl feeling anything toward you. I want to dabble in being a jerk but don't have the confidence to ask a girl out. At least they'll think of me that way.

[Opinion Owner]

Dude you have to WANT to get better to actually get better, Yeah the cliches get tired but there's truth in some of it. Who give a f*** if your're 19 and a virgin big f***ing deal not everyone the way you're thinking you can be 40 and still trying to find a woman that's just the way the world works but you'll die a virgin if you don't stpp feeling sorry for yourself and look for your opportunities where ever they are and yes that means even if you have to be a douchebag, but at least you're tryin

[Elle1996]

I think the whole idea of only guys going up to girls is a bit dated...

Of course you won't die alone! You said your ex said you were 'honest, kind, and amazing' so you are obviously a likable person! :) But when a girl does approach you, try to keep confident and don't just feel depressed about your last break up. This might sound cheesy but 'time is the best healer' :L In a short while you'll probably find you feel totally different xxx

[Forever_alone]

If it was that way, I wouldn't get rejected that often. I am assuming no girl will approach me, but just hoping that maybe one might

[veronica12]

Please don't focus on finding any girlfriend, focus on finding THE girlfriend. It will make things much easier.

[Forever_alone]

I don't feel like THE girlfriend exists. I'm so behind since I'm not the best looking that I am considering the jerk thing to get girls to approach me.

[veronica12]

Im 16, I've rejected every single guy that has asked me out (like 10), and its because I feel none of them is worthy of me, none of them makes me want to get into a realtionship, and I don't like any of them ENOUGH to have a boyfriend. There are so manyd esperate girls to get a boyfriend, and apparently guys. Just focus on a girl you like enough to be in a relationship with.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, yes. You can't expect them to do it. They're kind of spoiled when it comes to dating/relationships.

[cyrus7]

Probably, you either have to be super confident or have something else going for you like looks, body, money etc.

[winherback]

And you're going to be a doctor?

[Forever_alone]

Yeah what about it?

[visual]

Lol funny in so many ways if you think about it. :p