Why is vanity unattractive?

[Anonymous]

In both men and women, vain and self obsessed is a turn off; there's no question about that. Why? What makes it unattractive to you psychologically?

[sellene]

Good question! Maybe because you're thinking of you more than paying attention to others.

Afterall being interested in others is a key rule to succesfull relationships.. so, "extreme vanity" contributes exactly to its opposite.

What about you?

[Asker]

to me it's mostly insecurity. If people love about themselves something I have too I like it, but if they make me jealous I feel like being like oh they are so vain yada yada. But I wonder sometimes if it's actually a bad thing. :))

[sellene]

I think we all need a bit of vanity in life! As with most of the things, it's bad when it reaches an extreme. Like being vain vs being narcissistic.

[Asker]

I totally agree :D

[Anonymous]

it doesn't bother me unless it is to the point that it distracts the person from everyday activities.