I told him I liked him so ball is in his court now, but he's shy so I'm not sure what to do?

[xobrowneyedbeauty]

basically this guy and I kind of had a thing last semester. this semester we talked about it and I told him I like him and he said he thinks he likes me but he isn't sure what he wants, but he thinks I'm pretty and wants to at least be friends because he likes hanging out with me and he thinks he likes me but isn't sure if he wants a relationship and he usually likes multiple people at once. so basically he's confused.

he's really bad at making plans, he's extremely shy and socially awkward, he's bad at talking to girls and making the first move, BUT since I told him I like him the ball is in his court now right? so I should just wait for him to text me, make plans with me, etc? my conclusion is that I shouldn't be making any moves anymore since he knows I like him and I want to know if that's right.

Updates

+1 y

he really is shy! I know it sounds like wishful thinking but this guy is almost 21 and he's never had a girlfriend and only ever made out with 3 girls including me. he's afraid of rejection and rarely ever asks girls out. I'm friends with one of his close girl friends and she said he's almost very inexperienced and he's really bad at talking to girls he is interested in. it took lots of pushing and prodding to get him to "open up" to me if that's what you call what he did.

[Ingrid422]

If he truly was shy, he wouldn't tell you he likes you, he wouldn't tell you what he wants and such. A real shy guy has difficulty opening up to a girl, particularly a girl he'd be dating. Most shy guys don't even date, so him saying he usually likes multiple people at once proves he's really NOT shy. I think, as some other people noticed, that you misinterpret disinterest for shyness. If he really liked you, he WOULD make plans and he would take the lead. It doesn't make sense that he'd be socially awkward but a serial dater, just like he'd be ''bad at talking to girls'' but would tell you his intentions right off the bat. The truth is he doesn't want a serious relationship and he's measuring the pros and cons of trying you out as a casual fling, nothing more. It's not that he's ''unsure if he wants a relationship'', it's that he DOESN'T want one and is simply keeping you on the hook because he knows you're into him. Please move on and find yourself someone else that doesn't play games. All of this seems like bullsh*tland, IMO.

[DaniJ]

I'd say keep flirting, but not too much, just so he sees your offer still stands... Otherwise he might think you changed your mind or something. Just don't push him about dating or anything is all.

[doctorwhofan23]

I like this answer shy guys need help and stuff.

[Anonymous]

Babes, get the message. He's not interested. Don't wait around. He's not preventing any other guy from having you ...no shyness would allow that to happen to the woman a man really wants!

[cheeky_starfish]

I think now that you have told this guy that you like him, you don't want to push it too much and pressurise him into something that he's not ready for... Therefore I agree with your analogy that the ball is now in his court. Do continue to be good friends with him in the knowledge that he does like you, he does think you're pretty and does enjoy your friendship.

Although I don't feel that you should 'wait' for him, if the time does come where he wants to take things further with you, then by all means take that next step. In the mean time, if someone else does come along that you like, don't feel guilty about pursuing that opportunity.

I think that your conclusion is generally correct, although given that this guy is particularly shy, be aware that it may be very difficult for him to formally ask you out and therefore try to be more forthcoming in how you enjoy his company and spending time with him etc. I hope this helps you somewhat and that things work out for you! :o)

[foxsquirrel]

He wouldn't be making any moves probably because he is very shy. Trust me. I am very shy about these things. Haven't got a clue how to approach a women. In the past I did have a few girlfriends but because they approached me or there friends forced me pressured me into going out with them. So if you don't here from him it does not mean that he does not like you but most probably he is very shy as you said. I would not think that the ball is in my court if you simply told that you liked me. Come to think of it I think I've lost an opportunity with my crush. She might have been sending tones of clues but I felt like I couldn't be sure so I did not make any move. I suggest you make a bold move if you think that he has a crush on you. If she made a bold on me I think I would have been with her. But anyways I don't know if she was interesting or just playing around. So hope this helps in achieving a better insight into the mind of a shy guy. Goodluck.

[Deviouscourage]

You know I've been reading a lot of posts mentioning that guys are so shy...that they are too afraid to make a move.

Seems like it's every girls problem and honestly it's difficult to believe.

My response to you is, are you sure he's shy? Because maybe it's become wishful thinking to be giving yourself the benefit of the doubt.

[yopyopyop]

You are partially right, the ball was in his court.

You did everything you could to tell him he had to do something if he was interested.

But since nothing happened, I guess he's not much into you.

[mike5150]

I am really shy myself and I pretty much never have made the first move. Your just going to have to pick a time and place and ask him if you want to meet there. I am sorry but shy guys just have a really hard time taking initiative.

[doctorwhofan23]

As a shy guy I would still be pretty nervous about making a move even if I knew she liked me. You should probbly ask him for coffee or something simple. Shy guys usually are not comfortable asking people out.

[doctorwhofan23]

I understand this guy I think for now you need to initiate dates and stuff but let him pick a place he is comfortable possibly. Girls can be intimidating especially if we like them.

[bDizzie]

You can wait, but shy guys don't make moves even when they know the girl likes them.

[xobrowneyedbeauty]

So they just don't make moves ever? So what should I do now?

[bDizzie]

He probably still hesitates and is unsure. You can make plans and make moves on him if you want, but you're going to have to do it all the time because shy guys don't act. That's why girls don't have a lot of patience for shy guys.

[xobrowneyedbeauty]

so shy guys NEVER do anything? I don't understand. I flat out said I like him and I still need to make moves? shouldn't that be annoying to him? he already knows I like him, that's just going to be obnoxious.

[bDizzie]

i don't know the guy, but I just think he needs the constant reassurance that you like him or else he will think you're not interested anymore.

[Ultima]

i would say go for a kiss next time. see what happens

[Anonymous]

So what are you going to do? Force him to date you? That would wreck his ego further! Why are you so desperate to date him?!

[xobrowneyedbeauty]

I would like to date him, ideally that's what would happen because I like him? but I'm not going to force him to date me one that's impossible 2 that's absurd and 3 I don't ooze desperation. I don't know how you would get the idea from this that I'm going to force him to date me when I'm suggesting that I do nothing because the ball is in his court.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't sound interested. Girls always say "he's shy" when he isn't interested.

Move on why wait around for a guy

[Hamburgers]

He doesn't sound shy.

He's just disinterested in you.

[foxsquirrel]

By made out with you mean slept with you?

[xobrowneyedbeauty]

no I mean made out as in a lot of kissing. he's never slept with anyone he's barely done anything with anyone.

[foxsquirrel]

I resemble him a bit I guess. I'm relatively inexperienced. I'm always lost in my own thoughts. I don't know what it is I guess I'm a bit eccentric.