Dating & Anxiety: Through The Aspie Point of View

[VRosetano]

(First take, hope this gets a point across.)

When it comes to dating and trying to find that special other, it can be very difficult, especially when someone is diagnosed with asperger's syndrome. Social inhibitions play a key factor in this. I should know, I am one of them.

I don't speak for all, but I wanted to share my take of what goes on through the mind of someone with Asperger's when it comes to making the first approach and what happens when Anxiety goes into overdrive.

So let's say, for example, that I notice someone who is attractive. Usually it takes a simple approach and a "hello" to get things going and break the ice between two people. You might even introduce yourself, if the conversation goes well you'll exchange numbers, etc.

In my mind, the approach is a difficult thing to do. Nerves start to kick in and Anxiety spikes into overdrive. I'm not sure if others on the spectrum do this but i've been known to make noises (similar to those we make when we're frustrated) and shut down completely. Now that my brain is completely worked up, motor functions stop (sentences are very difficult to form from the overwhelming anxiety) and my brain begins to race. Thoughts of approaching someone are very overwhelming and can trigger anxiety attacks afterwards. I have to find something that will calm my nerves and get me out of this situation. Usually that will involve either walking away or getting some fresh air to clear my mind.

See how something so simple turned into something difficult? This is what may go through someone's head who may be on the spectrum.

If this area is somehow broken through with a big enough bulldozer, I can open up and finally start to get to know people.

[Anonymous]

I have had to deal with severe social Anxiety most of my life and I can totally relate to the anxiety and panic attacks. Its a shame most people look down on you or tell you you are "just shy" and "just get over it." Hang in there buddy you are not alone, and getting to know people, good people, will happen :)

[Amplify]

The trick I use is geting someone to dare me to talk to people. For some reason, it's easier to do stuff when you can blame someone else if it goes wrong.

[jacquesvol]

Good take!