Helpful Reminders For Men

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Remember throughout all of the negative against you guys, there is positive.

You are a motherfucking king. You don't need to have a rock solid body with tons of muscles. You don't need perfect hair.

You can cry, it's completely okay to cry. Related to that, emotions are better when expressed. Talk to the ones you love, they won't bust your balls for it. Admitting your feelings isn't "gay" and it doesn't make you "a little bitch."

You do not need someone to validate that you're wanted. You do not need a girlfriend (or boyfriend) because you're your own person.

You are perfect exactly how you are. If you don't like something about your looks then work on changing it. But only because it will make you happy. If you don't like something about your personality, work on changing it because it will make you happy.

I think men don't get enough credit on the things you struggle through.

If you're fat, bald, have acne, skinny, short, tall, have soft hair or greasy hair, have some extra hair, a small or a large penis. None of this matters.

You guys get a lot of bullshit for your looks just as much as women do.

Guys "have" to have six packs, long soft hair, bright eyes, great teeth and lips, be tall and muscular and skinny just to be hot. Yes there are people who are more physically appealing than others but I believe it's your personality that makes you attractive.

If you're a 10/10 to women but have a shitty personality, being racist/homophobic/sexist, being cocky and rude, it will make you ugly in my eyes.

Guys have to be strong right? No, it's okay if you're not extremely strong.

It's okay if you want to play video games over soccer.

It's okay if you have a smaller penis, that doesn't matter.

I'm sorry that when you get raped, people tell you to be appreciative or no one believes you. But if a male rapes a female it's a bigger deal. I'm sorry for that.

It's okay if you do not meet the standards of people who do not matter.

Gentlemen, I appreciate all you go through. I thank you for what you do in life and society.

Helpful Reminders for Women

[KDA20]

Thank you for that - Sometimes on here there is so much conflict you really do go "For fucks sake, what you are arguing about is shit. If you all calmed down and looked at the bigger picture you will see that you are all pretty close to asking for the same thing, you want to be respected or given the chance to earn respect " as take writer says not the macho respect but emotional respect. Anyway along comes this 16 year old kid ( I keep calling her a kid but it is just to emphasize her youth rather than downgrade her ) with a simple take and often the wisest things are said in the simplest words. I absolutely love the sentence "It's okay if you do not meet the standards of people who do not matter."

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

You're welcome and thank you, I appreciate you recognize what I am trying to say :)

[KDA20]

WTF I wrote a big comment and it cut off - I have to investigate

[KDA20]

It is okay comment came back

[KawaiiPie67]

U do not write like a 16 year old. If your age wasn't on here, I'd have thought U were in your late twenties. Awesome job!

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

Thank you :)

[Bandit74]

"I believe it's your personality that makes you attractive"

That sounds nice, it really does. However in reality it's complete bullshit. I'd rather have girls be honest and say they want the 6ft tall guy with the six pack rather than say bullshit like personality is most important thing in determining attractiveness.

Looks by itself have more power than personality by itself. A guy with great looks and a shitty personality will get more interest from women than an ugly guy with a great personality. You can do ok with just looks, but you can't with just peronality.

Realistically girls never have to choose between ugly guy with great personality of hot guy with shitty personality. There's choices in the middle and the hot guy with the average personality will once again do better than the reverse.

Above average looks, social skills, and assertiveness attracts the most girls. None of the other traits really matter. Except for when they are looking for someone to buy a house and raise kids with then looks don't matter as much.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

I was speaking from my own thoughts honey. All of my exes were average or below average looking but I thought they were amazing with looks because I knew their personality.
I have had 1 girlfriend and 4 boyfriends, and 3/4 guys were longer relationships (almost up to a year) and those 3 were below average in looks to other people. but I thought they were extremely attractive. the fourth guy was extremely cute and he had a great personality but he left me after a while saying I wasn't good enough for him.
My ex girlfriend was gorgeous and she wasa bit bitchy but she had a great personality too. She and I are still friends but we dated for about a month, and it only ended because i was super busy and couldnt ever really talk to her.

i realize looks are important to people, I can see the physical appeal in lots of different people but there is a difference (in my eyes) from being attractive to just being physically appealing.

[bostonceltics1991]

Thanks so much for your pears of wisdom. There are so many "adult women" (in quotes because they definitely think like immature little girls) my age or older than me who cannot understand or accept what you just posted. It's sad, really. But it's good to see that you're light years ahead of them in terms of maturity.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

thank you

[lonerider]

And I thank you. Personally. I suffer from an inferiority complex- related to my looks. I constantly find myself to be lacking when I am exposed to media. Although I am a very confident person when it comes to career and other stuffs- interviews for example, my confidence goes down the drain when i enter the dating game. Such are the standars set for men. Anyway, your myTake gave me some positive energy- I thank you for that. It means a lot.

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

awwww you're welcome, I'm glad it could be of some help <3

[FatherJack]

I'm impressed , such maturity for a 16 year old !! In fairness , I have posted about this many times , the " media " conditions girls from a young age to view men as " The Enemy !! " the " media " always portrays men as stupid , worthless , sex crazed incompetent morons , hence many women treat men with contempt , which often results in men turning their backs on women..." Divide & Rule " at work here , which is precisely what the owners of the " media " want. Thank you for seeing through the BS & being positive towards us guys... we are NOT all monsters !!

[KawaiiPie67]

Agree! I've actually thought that when it comes to sex, lots of guys have more self control than women do.

[FatherJack]

@KawaiiPie67 Thanks for your positive comment , as men , we HAVE to exercise restraint , I'm personally glad my libido has faded greatly , as a single dad , a strong libido like my teen - early 30's self would be a nightmare !! Nature is cruel , the gender with the higher sex drive mostly goes without !! Male sexuality is also labelled as " disgusting , creepy , perverted " & so on by " society " I have never heard of a sexually frustrated woman , but I will bet that most young men are !!

[OrdinaryGentleman]

lol noice, its often those expectations that push males to become stronger versions of themselves, however it is a double edged sword. The struggle becomes inherently difficult for those not accustomed to being able to deal with the desires of girls as you said above. So in a sense those desires are ok but nowhere near perfect since guys can't suddenly grow over 6ft, or have a bigger penis lol. But as for all the other things it is something to strive for... getting a decent paying job, working out, eating healthy are all things that can improve one's way of living.

[Sam89]

I often find when it comes to gender related issues, people tend to only see things from their own gender's perspective. They are quick to dismiss or overlook the other point of view. Especially online.

It's nice to see someone who can see that both genders have battles to fight in everyday life.

[ManOnFire]

Pretty good post. For once somebody sticks up for guys. But get ready for all the females who are gonna whine about "misogyny" instead.

[RedAmulet]

I think something else to add is that it's ok to ask for help, I think a lot of guy feel weak or like cowards if they ask for help, which of course is complete bs

[Transigence]

Thank you for your consideration -- it's moving to hear someone cares about men, as a demographic, specifically.

[supernerd99]

its a good sign for a human - a woman in your case - when he/she cares for other people's problems. what you said is true but we can't change society. we can only change ourself and even that depends

[HikerDude]

Hey, what a heartwarming missive. Thanks so much for brightening my day.

[Zorax]

Great Take, I guess there is still hope for some of us :P

[PT1911]

If more positive content like this was in GaG more often, I wouldn't be leaving

[AlwaysBelieving]

Thank you for writing this. I have to remind myself of this ever now and then.

[ThatBeachGirl]

I guess there is hope for my ex boyfriend according to this.

[Words_and_Wisdom]

Often wish this was affirmed more. Thanks for that.

[Polocrew]

I have all of em exept job, I am 18 so but I still drive Silverado. Mirin? Yea u mirin

[Noxifer626]

Thanks. I'm sure a lot of people will find it just as helpful as I did :)

[croxy]

Perfection is something unreachable to strive for, NOT something anyone is or can be.

Okay don't with nitpicking, good take!

[skeptic007]

this almost made me cry

[SweetHomicidalQueen]

aww <3