Toxic Masculinity and What Makes a "Real Man" (Page 3)

[CallMeDee]

No gender should be allowed to determine what qualifies as "real" or acceptable about the other gender. If men were consistently talking about what makes a "real woman" they would be crucified. So if it's not okay for one gender it shouldn't be okay for the opposing gender. Men and women are all different and by using terms like "real man" "real woman" "toxic masculinity" or "toxic femininity" you are putting diverse and complex beings into a box that easily labels them while ignoring their unique characteristics.

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

Thank you, I once commented about toxic masculinity and got attacked by a bunch of ignorant dudes who had no idea what it means! Hopefully this clears it up for 'em.

[CrazyAK]

There is no such a thing thats the problem. Its just stupid feminists who make names for things so that they can try and sound smarter than men. Pathetic really :/

[Sara413]

@CrazyAK

Sounds to me like you're a bit insecure and words you down understand make you feel inferior...

[CrazyAK]

I'm a perfectly confident man actually. And guess what, I dont have to be toxic to feel that way hahaha

[JoanSanJose]

@CrazyAK Be nice... some day things may turn around and you'll be glad to have women in your life who really like you for who you are... and don't compare you to "real" men.

[tylerdurden]

@CrazyAK confident man? At 18? Kid have have no idea what confidence or being a man is yet.

[anonman32]

Yes i agree. No other people can define masculinity, i have to do that myself. I think masculinity is not conforming to hegemonic masculinity and by doing that putting yourself in a hierarchy. I think masculinity is distincting yourself from other men and also women. Its individual and personal. But i also think that health makes one masculine because its good for the male hormones.

[worldscolide]

At first i was going to be angry about this. Because when most of the feminists i have spoken to believe that masculinity in all its forms are the reason for all of the ills in the world. That having been said, I liked your post, Well thought out and honest. I will mention one thing though. If exists Toxic masculinity, then so must exist toxic femininity. What feminists dont understand is that it goes both ways.

I also wholeheartedly reject the premise that says that women have some kind of right to tell men as a whole how to behave or conduct them selves. If men aren't allowed that freedom to tell women how to behave, then women also aren't allowed.

Good if Flawed article. There is some truth here.

[Flurr]

Your take is cute. But I'd suggest to refrain from your "real man" opinions, regardless of how much I agree with them or not. I don't tell NBA players how to play basketball, why? Because I've never played basketball. That's the same reason why I wouldn't tell women how period cramps feel like or what experiencing child birth is like. This subject will unfortunately not become relevant until everyone starts to value the life of a male human being, which I don't see happening in the foreseeable future.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you. Most guys thinks that sleeping with a lot of women and being able to drink as much as possible makes them a man. But it doesn't, it actually makes them a coward, theyre less than a real man. And i have no respect for those guys who thinks those two main things are what makes them real men.

[JoanSanJose]

I liked this article since it touches on my very male family members and many, many guy friends. BUT--apparently, from the masculine replies, women shouldn't try to delve into this kind of empathy... even if we think about it a lot. Well, crap, the touchiness in the replies isn't going to make me set men in a different, not-allowed-to-empathize-about group. by the way, I do this with people regardless of gender.

[Sara413]

Yeah.. like... sorry for giving a shit about your wellbeing? My bad?

[2tall2handle]

Sara413,
I'm actually glad you gave a care about it. Being bi is worse when you are raised in a testosterone filled environment that I was. Talk about a complex, and keeping your mouth shut. It takes things to a whole new level. I can honestly say I am glad I am on my own living my own life the way I want. Sorry for the vitriol you endured from everyone else. You had some excellent points.

[Anonymous]

Masculinity becomes toxic the moment men are using their masculinity to dominate, control, or manipulate women or further an agenda of male primacy in society.

Men can decide how to define being a man, but WOMEN can decide when we don't like their behavior.

[Reallio]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aK1JfgqxW7k&ab_channel=Undoomedhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqfXHpHCx2c

[retroxyz]

Why do people like to dictate how others should act, behave, carrying him/herself? is America not a democracy? Has America become a dictatorship on how people should live their lives? If youa female man marry a girl

[Reallio]

@retroxyz But I'm not telling anyone how to act? .-.

[retroxyz]

Oh yeah what about toxic something something. .. I am sick of feministry controlingbpeople lives

[Reallio]

@retroxyz Yeah I hate feminism too but what does this have to do with me?

[retroxyz]

There's no toxic something something just masculinity. Women and men are different

[Reallio]

@retroxyz Agreed

[Dtegesd123]

how about taking care of your responsibilities. For instance a child.

[Sara413]

Like many of the things I listed, that's a reasonable expectation of any adult! Definitely!

[clarawilds]

I agree! Men are not robots, they can cry. They can respect women. They respect gays and know that they are men too. And men can kiss and hug men, and still be straight. Men can be sensitive, caring and shy too. Let's fight the stereotypes 😃

[CrazyAK]

Where on earth do these stereotypes exists? Besides the mental health issues we aren't trying to fight masculine toxicity. I haven't heard of that bullshit phrase till I read this post. That just goes to show of the misconception women have about us. We are genetically predisposed with the interest to be a man, and when we come of age we usually know if we are or aren't. It is true however to say that men can come with so many different perspectives on how they define masculinity. There isn't a universal man in this world, but we typically have a certain way of doing things in which you can't say is toxicity. Its who we are. Have you seen the Money psychology experiment. It just goes to show that as much as you try to convert a boy to the female gender it just won't work. So please stop with these stupid phenomenas that shouldn't exist.

[JoanSanJose]

@CrazyAK Why do ANY stereotypes exist? The point is--these dub things should be broken down. It takes actions, speaking out... and time.

[JoanSanJose]

LOL.. make that DUMB things... dub? It's Moday morning with no coffee yet!

[Wolfstarking]

"Men can kiss and hug men and still be straight" I agree with the hugging part but kissing unless it's on the cheek but on the lips? Nah.

[clarawilds]

@Wolfstarking yes, I agree.

[bucketboi]

Being a man today is different then before to many people are to sensitive to feeling. A man is tough thick headed and will do what needs to be done without bitching about. Just man up. Simple to the point. Live life enjoy others and know when you are in over your head ask for help don't be stupid.

[Prof_Don]

The last sentence is easier said than done, too many men would rather push and suffer through adversity on their own, than to ask people for help and admit they are failing at a task.

[nakeli]

What makes a man to me, is having respect for people, especially women. Just behaving like a person with some sense, instead of what the media and ignorant men tell you. You are a human being. You know the difference between right and wrong, what to do, and what not to do. But, I will say this. You best be a real man in the bedroom and keeping money

[tylerdurden]

Well said

[SomeGuy37]

VERY well said. Perhaps a bit long, and you maybe will lose some along that path, but I agree, and like what you said. If only the guys that need to hear that message could hear it, and understand it!!!

[Zeusshock]

Excuse you. Listening to a bit of t swift here and there is just stupid and I am ashamed of any guy that does that. T swizzle is an amazing artist and people should listen to her songs more than here or there. And by the way I don't fully agree with your statement. Parts are good. It's above average.

[696remnant]

Toxic masculinity is a fucking myth, you twat.

A woman knows what a real man is, as much as a man knows what a real woman is.

Are you a woman in your own right?
Are you self sufficient?
Do you require validation from the opposite gender?

If you answered yes to the first two, and no to the last... you are a real man/woman.

All of what you say, is Hyperbolic expectations based on female prerogative. Not fact.

[iHateBeingBored]

"If you answered yes to the first two, and no to the last... you are a real man/woman."

She said the same thing in the take. You just repeated her.

[Jamesol1]

This is the first time I have come across a feminist post that addressed the issues men have, specifically the suicide. the biggest killer in young men in the UK is apparently suicide.

[Sara413]

This is actually a fairly common topic on many feminist websites and forums. We do care about men, contrary to popular belief..

[Noxifer626]

I grew up with an abusive father who constantly insulted me by saying I wasn't a real man.
Thanks :)

[Sara413]

Sorry to hear that. I hope your doing well.

[Noxifer626]

Ah, yes, I'm alright. I didn't mean to inspire your pity or anything, just wanted to leave that there.

[Sara413]

Well it takes hard work to develop a healthy sense of self coming out of an environment like that, so props to ya.

[Noxifer626]

You're welcome. Always helps seeing someone who knows what I mean.

[Kylesar]

The ONE subject I can agree with the feminists on. At least your specific view of it

Too bad it's been blown so out of proportion that it's proposed that men act like women and that toxic masculinity is associated with anything a man typically does.

I'm just waiting until the woman version of toxic masculinity. Until then I'm still not touching feminism with a 10,000 foot pole, but I give credit where it's due

Nice take

[Sara413]

Thanks? I think? Not sure how to read this haha

[Kylesar]

Well my last two words were "nice take."

[Likes2drive]

That was a long but good take and I was also not considered as manly for not watching sports by my ex wife yet I worked on our cars and fixed everything in the house and maintained everything myself so I know all to well about it