Toxic Masculinity Is Not Real

WowwGirl

Toxic Masculinity Is Not Real

Toxic Masculinity Is Not Real

I will tell you why Toxic Masculinity is not a real term. Here is a short history below about how the term Toxic Masculinity came about and how the meaning of it got mixed up in time.

Toxic Masculinity Doesn’t Exist

Toxic Masculinity Is Not Real

Traits that one person considers toxic, may not be to another person. The entire phrase is based on a subjective scale with absolutely no real ground and is used as a shaming tactic for feminists and anybody else buying into it.

It's A Preference

Toxic Masculinity Is Not Real

For example, one person may like the typical “alpha male.” Confident, loud, powerful, buff, etc.

But another person may find those traits unlikeable, and so they’ll brand that male as “toxic” because “toxic masculinity” is a catch-all term for any traits a man has that are considered unlikeable or “overly masculine.”

Toxic Masculinity Is Not Real

That’s all it is!!!!!

Any trait that a person or society deems unnecessary, unlikeable or “overly masculine” in a man is Toxic Masculinity.

Men Get Shamed For Being Men

Toxic Masculinity Is Not Real

The problem is, by shaming men on a completely subjective scale, you intimidate, which is exactly what most “feminists” want, they want to intimidate men that go against the grain of acting like girls and reject the weak and feminized version of men who have no balls you see portrayed and existing everywhere today.

FYI: Toxic People Are Everywhere

Toxic Masculinity Is Not Real
Toxic Masculinity Is Not Real

There are toxic people, but to make an entire term for men and to keep cramming it down the throats of men is biased, bigoted and a result of brainwashing.

Toxic Masculinity Is Not Real

A toxic person can be defined as somebody that is poisonous to you or society. Toxic people can be any gender, male, female or nonbinary.

How The Term Was Originally Used

Toxic Masculinity Is Not Real

It was coined in the Men’s Movement of the 80s and 90s, it was motivated as a reaction to feminism.

Through male only workshops, wilderness retreats, and drumming circles, this movement promoted a masculine spirituality to rescue what it referred to as the “deep masculine” a protective, “warrior” masculinity from "toxic masculinity".

Toxic Masculinity Is Not Real

Men’s aggression and frustration was, according to the movement, the result of a society that feminized boys by denying them the necessary rites and rituals to realize their true selves as men and be masculine. "How dare they be men"!

Toxic Masculinity Is Not Real

Thank you for reading everyone,

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Toxic Masculinity Is Not Real
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  • RolandCuthbert

    I read through you take and I still don't know what is toxic masculinity supposed to be. But I will talk about this as being a "Black" man in the "Black" community.

    In my community. . . African-American. . . the issue is too many "Black" men have a definition of masculinity that is based upon being unemotional, detached, violent and having sex with a lot of different women. That is destructive. It destroys the community and the environment for children to feel protected and for women to grow in their femininity. Which is why the culture is warping where "Black" women are moving into leadership positions and doing the providing. We desperately need for "Black" men to begin redefining what it means to be a man. That definition has to include being a defender of the community and being a protector of its women/children. It has to include being a provider and leader.

    My ex and I split up. And she married a brother who refuses to work. Yet he thinks he is a man. And it is based upon the fact that he can attract a lot of different women.

    I get all the hatred of feminists, etc. . . but feminism does not define masculinity. The reason why their argument is effective in the "Black" community is because there is a vacuum. "Black" men have not come together to start a discussion about what it means to be a man. I posted about this before. And some of the same fools here patting you on your back, whined like little puppies when I posted my take. . .

    What are masculine traits?

    It is like they need to be coddled. But they can't figure out how to define their own masculinity. They need their mother to pet them on their head and tell them they are good little boys. And it is crazy. Women cannot define what it means to be a man. Only men can do that.

    What Are Masculine Traits?

    Like 3 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Inbox

      @RolandCuthbert Based on a macro POV, I think Feminists nowadays are just nitpicking, or just trying to find anything they can just to win. In the courtroom, when an opposing counsel does this, usually it's a sign of desperation just to win. In general, I think it is now an extremist movement due to the countless contradictions, hypocritical, etc.

    • @Inbox Well my ex ran me through ringer when we divorced. She took a lot of cash and I suffered a lot. But I wouldn't call her a feminist.

      Since then she has had two heart attacks and two strokes. It made me sad because all I wanted to do was provide. Now she is yet another "Black" woman who has to provide for a guy who thinks he is a man because he has a penis.

      And this cat has the nerve to be "jealous". WTF?
      '
      But this whole debate about feminism and masculinity makes nonsense in the "Black" community. Maybe it makes sense in your culture. But we need a new conversation. And we need "Black" men to define their role.

    • smølf

      You are confusing masculinity with morals and ethics, these behavior patterns are not about masculinity but about morals standards.

      In an imoral world both males and females will have "toxic" behavior, but gender is not the cause.

    • Show All
  • StunningANDbrave

    It will be interesting to see what kind of rationalization stupid feminists make about this when/if we have to go to war. Things have been good for too long and retarded shit like this is a byproduct of it.

    LikeDisagree 9 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • WowwGirl

      Well one guys trolling me showing screen shots on his questions teaming up with feminist where I called him a pussy in this. Acting like it's not a factual statement.

      @Still-alive idnt that right?

    • Nothing factual about it wowgirl, you know you’re full of shit.

    • WowwGirl

      @Still-alive it's a really a puss move for a man to cuss at a woman.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Ez-Bri-Z

    Sooooo, if I am reading this correctly between this article and your comments, toxic masculinity can't exist, but radical or crazy feminists CAN exist. Would you kindly explain how that paradox works? In the end you are just swapping words for the extremism of any particular topic, whether it be "crazy" feminist, "toxic" male, "radical" conservative, or "violent" protests.

    I'm sorry, you can't deny one and accept others. While I congratulate you on researching the first entry on "the history of toxic masculinity" and taking a glance at the wiki article, I would like to take a deeper dive into this with you, if I may.

    You are absolutely correct about the time period of when the term originated and that is about it. Where you absolutely lose me is the idea that they were upset about the protector role that men had typically been seen as up until then. It wasn't about feminizing men. It was about taking away the idea that the more extreme ends of "masculinity" were considered ok.

    You have to take into account the ever changing flow of what was considered masculine and in what time period they were in. Think about far into our past where it was considered extremely fashionable for men to wear wigs and the color pink was considered popular for boys. Children, including male children, wore dresses as infants and toddlers. It was fine then. Around the late 1800s, a new definition of what adult masculinity was supposed to represent emerged. Before then, a man was considered a real man by being extremely faithful to his god and being a hard worker. Eventually that definition became more of one based around strength and competition with one another. Now today, that idea of masculinity is changing again.

    All "toxic" masculinity is referring to is the idea that some of the more extreme traits of what is considered "masculine" like; bullying, sexual harassment and assault, reinforcing the idea of gender roles as being the only way we can move forward as a society, the idea of ruling over their home with an iron fist, and treating women like property is still considered to be ok or expected because that's is just how men have always been. They haven't always been that way at all.

    We don't live in a period of time where strength is even considered necessary in most cases. Everything has moved to the digital age and brilliance is emerging as a more preferential trait of men over brute strength. Those who rally against it and those who support it, are relics of an era that is fading and no longer needed.

    A man can be strong both in physical attributes, in mind and in soul and none of those make him toxic. Someone being toxic is taking those attributes and using them to tear down others to assert dominance instead of being a moral example of how to be those things without tearing others down. It isn't a sliding scale of preference to determine if it is toxic or not. Those behaviors ARE toxic and the only sliding scale is the one in your mind determining if you are comfortable accepting men who feel the need to tear down others.

    Like 13 People
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    • Boom, bet she's too lazy to read all this though

    • WowwGirl

      @Still-alive why are you only combative with girls?

    • WowwGirl

      And why are you in midlife not disabled and living with your parents in a basement?
      You are in no position to judge anyone miss

    • Show All
  • Brainsbeforebeauty

    Isn't that the same tho as when people call men simps or beta because they don't fall into what people consider "manly"🤔
    How about people just stop labeling, judging, trying to shame other people period🤷

    LikeDisagree 9 People
    Reply
    • WowwGirl

      I agree

    • Really? Cuz no offense meant, but don't you do that on here? Call men unmanly if they cry or drink fruity drinks, etc... I personally don't think it's a person's or a females place to decide for a man what makes him a man... We're all different and have a right to be ourselves... If there's people we don't mesh with, that just means they wouldn't make a good friend or a good partner.. doesn't mean we should act like we're better than them, just different🤷

    • she referred to men as "pussies' on my answer and refuses to say what that means. its this illusory or nebulous word designed to shame men for what exactly? not conforming to what she wants i guess?

    • Show All
  • WhiteSteve

    Dude in the Hello Kitty outfit😂😂😂💀💀💀

    So I can kinda agree with a lot of what you’re saying. I try to walk a line. I’m all about being a man, in the best senses. What I don’t like in a lot of other guys is phony machismo. I feel like a significant amount, if not the majority, of the male population are fraudulent. They put on airs that they’re macho men but it’s all a big show, and the louder they are about it, the more of a show it is, oftentimes. I have a whole list of “pseudo-masculine” activities that I see ALL THE TIME, and more often than not, I’m not buying it, it just seems like a front. Dudes with big pickup trucks or fast sports cars or motorcycles, drinking hard liquor, guns and weaponry, playing poker, getting tattoos, owning some tough dog breed, or that “look at me” asshole out in public with a python over his shoulders lmao. These activities are very common things that I have no problem with in a vacuum, and not everyone who does these things is suspect... I’m just making a personal assessment on an individual basis, and more people fail my test than pass it. I just feel like a lot of people do these things to seem tough or seem like “one of the boys”, and a lot fewer actually ARE those things and these activities or possessions are just indicative of that. Like lots of people just buy and cultivate a facade or image, most aren’t naturally that person. Like Jay-Z said “you can try to change but that’s just the top layer/man, you is who you was ‘fore you got here.” I don’t know how to describe how I know, it’s just kind of a real recognize real situation.

    And I’m a little different myself in that I’ll take longer to get ready than my girl, put on a pink t-shirt, drink a fruity drink, hold a Pomeranian, all while jamming out to old emo Paramore, and if any dude wants to question if I’m a man, I’ll answer it by putting him to sleep faster than you can say Hayley Williams. I also might be murdered out with five days’ stubble drinking a Guinness and chillin’ with my cousin’s huge German Shepherd listening to Griselda, I’ll put someone down the same way, but they probably wouldn’t ask the question based on appearances in that instance lmao. But I’m just saying I’m a man regardless, and I know that, so whatever costume I have on or what I’m doing is irrelevant to that. When push comes to shove, everything else is out the window, at that point no one can fake anything anymore and you just see what it is and see which one walks away and which one crawls away.

    Anyway, I think there are a lot of things men can improve on, particularly in our treatment of other people. But at the same time, I never want my nuts clipped, being and feeling masculine is important to me. Ladies, miss me with any “man-spreading” complaints until you’ve walked around, and more importantly SAT around, with a dickenballs between your legs, compressed enough to start with by being in pants, haha. But anyway, I think we need to revisit and redefine what masculine behaviors are positive and which ones are negative, and like with any other skill, try to eliminate the negative attributes and just rock it with the positive ones, and perfect the art of being a real man😎👍 Just don’t throw the baby out with the bath water, because I think there’s more good than bad from it all on the whole.

    Like 1 Person
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  • Miah02

    Toxic masculinity isn't a man being a man.
    It's a man running around pretending to be a tough guy and jumpin down people's throat every chance they get to pretend to be a bad ass.

    A real masculine man don't need to put effort in to be masculine.

    Like 6 People
    Reply
    • WowwGirl

      Some men are actually tough believe it or not🤷 and don't have to act. But I hear you

    • Miah02

      Yeah but they don't have to pretend.
      You can tell the difference from weak ass clowns pretending to be tough and the real tough men.
      The weak ass clowns pretending to be tough are toxic masculinity.
      The natural tough men who it just comes out is masculine and sexy not toxic

    • WowwGirl

      I think confident men say the least actually

    • Show All
  • Phoenix98

    Of course there's no such thing as toxic masculinity.

    Toxic masculinity is just a phrase some hurt women came up with in a moment of frustration and anger. Probably blaming masculinity for the reason she got hurt rather then the actual problem.

    Toxic femininity is no different, same thing.

    Like you said toxic people are everywhere.

    LikeDisagree 4 People
    Reply
  • 123lucy

    Of course toxic masculinity is a real thing. You don't seem to know what it even is though.

    LikeDisagree 15 People
    Reply
  • JosyJosy

    For me toxicity doesn't have a gender, people are just being an asshole/bitch and that's about it

    Like 13 People
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  • JayParris

    You hit the nail on the head this time for sure. Masculinity isn't toxic and toxic traits aren't masculinen but by combining the two, they've created a false semantic connection that serves to label any masculine behavior as harmful.

    Like 1 Person
    Reply
  • 45Fstraight

    I would also like to add;
    Feminism is NOT for everyone!

    That saying (always written in pink), "feminism is for everyone," seems to be used along with, "toxic masculinity," everywhere I go.

    😝

    Like 1 Person
    Reply
  • DJB72

    It's so refreshing to read another person saying this. Even more so that it's not another guy saying it.

    Like 2 People
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  • MudRucker

    What you described was diverse man can be and how one man can be perceived differently by others.


    For all those who claim diversity is a good thing (and it is), try accepting ALL people. Not just those who think and buy into the same politics as you.

    LikeDisagree 3 People
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    • WowwGirl

      I think bring different is good but don't shame those who are. Same with LGB don't shame someone because they are different not like you

  • genericname85

    Exactly that's the problem with our modern sjw PC bullshit society. Making individual problems everyone's Problem.

    Like 4 People
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    • WowwGirl

      What s jw?

    • social justice warriors. you know those karens that see racism and sexism and patriarchy in everything and everyone all the time.

    • professional "offense on behalf of others takers", if that makes any sese grammatically xD

    • Show All
  • razelove

    You linked together some good ideas, arguments, and facts for your take/argument here. Problem is you didn't link them together very coherently. You're jumping from A to D, and expecting your reader to link the dots.

    That's all fine and dandy when someone agrees with you, and bothers to read some of the material you have referenced. When someone is on the fence, or disagrees, it leaves open huge openings for counters.

    That being said, I need to post some content to back that statement up myself besides mere criticism lol. All in all I think radical feminists created a divide that made a situation where something like "toxic masculinity" had to appear, or else men would be feminized and belittled to the point of being second class citizens if not slaves.

    You still hear women crying about the patriarchy when women leave school (high school, trade, or college) in the west with a higher earning potential than men... It's no wonder so many more men identify as women than women who identify as men. The benefits are enormous.

    Reply
    • WowwGirl

      If I cared what others thought I'd try man😃

    • Sarahnah

      What? I thought there were more trans men than trans women around. People suffering from gender identity issues are female like 80% of the time. From my observations at least

    • Sarahnah

      Well I just looked it up and apparently there are more trans women than trans men. Weird.

  • Lliam

    Really good MyTake, WowwGirl. It had to be said.
    Actually, I hadn't really thought much about it before. And maybe that's the problem. It's another one of those phrases that gets tossed around without any thought.

    On one hand, what you said is true. It's a way of vilifying an entire gender and making it seem like there's something wrong with masculinity, itself.

    On the other hand, though, there are some human behaviors that are negative or harmful and, when displayed by men, can be extra dangerous. I'm thinking of aggressive violence and intimidation, in particular. But is the capacity for violence always a bad thing? What about defensive violence? Think of heroic violence, strength, and courage - the willingness and ability to protect and defend others or to perform great feats to rescue others.

    Toxic elements of masculinity are learned. One of those might be the inability to display emotion or tenderness. That trait is a sign of stoicism, inner strength, self control. But it can be harmful to the man and his loved ones if he is cut off from his emotions or lacks the ability to ever reveal them.
    Another element would be misogyny, which I would define as bigotry toward the female gender.

    True toxic masculinity is when an entire society favors men over women. That has been the case since the beginning of "civilization". Women were considered to be less than men, merely based on size and strength. Women were treated like chattel and considered worthless for anything but bearing and nurturing MEN'S children, and being treated as servants. Similar to slaves, they had no legal rights. They had no ability to survive on their own. That is still true in some cultures. And in modern society, there are still those who think the man should be the leaders, the bosses, the head of the household, etc.

    In recent decades, in some societies, women have gained nearly equal rights, at least on paper. But vestigial societal bigotry still remains. In addition, some men resent women's newfound liberty. They see women as competition (adversaries), and they resent the fact that women are no longer dependent on them.
    On the other side of the coin, a few women are bitter over historic patriarchy. This has given rise to what could be termed toxic femininity. Those women are misandrists. They aren't satisfied with equality and unity. They want to swing the pendulum to favor women over men.

    While thinking about this issue, I am reminded of something else. When I look at women who rise to positions of power, it seems to me that they are the ones who have mastered masculine body language and displays of power - dictatorial, pragmatic (focused on the ends but unconcerned about the means), inflexible, ruthless, competitive. The traits and behaviors of a CEO are masculine, not feminine.
    This is just an observation. I'm not even sure what a balance of masculine and feminine leadership traits would look like. It's a subject for a different discussion.

    Reply
  • Huldusonur

    I consider toxic masculinity to be when a man is taught to supress his emotions and to be "tough" even when it's destroying him. But I never knew where the term originally came from. Turns out it's just a case of people misusing words again.

    Like 7 People
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    • The problem with that argument is that men have practiced stoicism since the 3rd century. Most all of the greatest men in history have been stoics and such a state of mind is what evolutionary biology dictates.

      The men have to be strong because as hunter gatherers our efforts would be to protecting and providing for the family at all costs. It is little wonder the men who accomplished great things and did well for themselves didn't have the luxury of expressing emotions that would cripple their ability to do things.

      This is why such behaviour has been naturally selected for in men for thousands of years. It is only now that subversive cultural forces are trying to dismantle that.

      Women may think they want an emotionally in touch man, but their first choice is for very masculine men. A natural instinct they'd rather deny for the sake of optics. Women being far more emotionally fragile, need men to be their 'rock' to find solace in when they feel like their world is collapsing.

      It wouldn't work if both were prone to emotional breakdowns because like it or not men and women have roles they need each other to fill in relationships and that's how its always been.

    • That's not exactly how I meant it. A man can be strong by not letting his emotions control him, but some just push it down and keep it in, only for those emotions to come bubbling up again later in a chaotic mess, that's when it becomes toxic.

  • Rachelspiks

    No, it's all toxic. I really don't care how the term came to be, or why. What matters is what it means NOW, and it refers to masculine behaviour that is destructive (ex. violent crime, war and competition generally) and which we'd be better off without.

    Like 1 Person
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  • TruthBringer

    A wise man once said: "Toxic masculinity was invented by women nobody wants to fuck, to describe the men women do want to fuck" - Andrew Tate

    https://www.youtube.com/embed/PlpFMTx4FHs
    LikeDisagree 3 People
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  • hellionthesagereborn

    Basically. I mean the very premise of masculinity being toxic should be an indicator that the person using it (feminists) are sexist. Only sexist would suggest that masculinity which created civilization, brought order to the world, protected our species and allowed it to survive would be some how "toxic". Something necessary to survival by its nature is not toxic, its necessary.

    Like 1 Person
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  • WolfKvlt

    Great read. Toxicity is subjective (unless dealing with harsh chemicals).
    Proud to be considered Toxic! 🏴‍☠️

    LikeDisagree 2 People
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