I'm not a lazy person, but I want to make it clear that before I begin My rebuke on lazy men that I Myself acknowledge had a period of a lazy past of basically living off My family which I'm greatly embrassed by. I just wasn't Myself. SMDH
I allow Myself to feel degraded and less than a grown man by not providing for Myself like a man suppose to.
It was wicked and sinful what I was doing. And I repented and asked God for forgiveness and got My act straighten out. The hell was I thinking! 😡
I also want to make it very clear that is Mytake doesn't apply to the seriously mentally or physically ill that prevents them from contributing to society by actually working a job or career; since serious health problems are a legitimate excuse for a young and able bodied person not to be able to labor.
Effort First! Rewared Later.
Listen, if you don't sweat and labor and do jack nothing at all, then why should you have a right to food? Granted as I already said in My introduction that I was living off My family for a while.
However, I did do daily house chores if that counts for something like making sure the back yard leaves were raked and thrown in the garbage and contribute anyway I saw fit to feel less guilty by eating My grandma's ice cream and drinking her Sunny Delights juices and dinner food.😣
When you work hard, struggle and sweat, water and food taste better than you just sitting on the couch all day. Its like your body telling you, you deserve to be rewarded for your effort and labor.
God's word is clear. A man that doesn't labor doesn't deserve food!
2 Thessalonians 3:10-11:
For even when we were with you, we commanded you this: If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat. For we hear that there are some who walk among you in a disorderly manner, not working at all, but are busybodies.
Lazy Men Are Not Honored.
I once worked with a lazy co-worker as a valet once. What a terrible experience. It came to the point where I had to tell him don't worry I'll take up the groceries to people's apartment because He'll take forever to come back down. Smh.
Even to pick up or park a car that should take him 2 minutes and change, He would take about 5 minutes and change to do so. It was just frustrating working with a person like that because you feel all the pressure is on you at all times to get things done. Needless to say even though He was a kinda of a cool person I came to lose respect for him as a man due to his sluggish attitude.
Proverbs 10:26:
As vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes, So is the lazy man to those who send him.
Women Will Not Like Nor Respect You.
Being lazy is a ugly trait for both men and women. However, a lazy man looks 100 times worst than a lazy woman, that's why this Mytake is primarily for men.
You as a man are biologically designed by God to be mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically stronger than a woman for a reason.
You suppose to be the go getter. The one who brings home the bacon and provides protection and food for the family.
A woman loves to see men sweat, struggle, work hard and overcome since they are biologically wired to find protectors and providers appealing.
She will even feel compel to prepare you a sandwich or a stake dinner with steamed veggies because She knows you deserve to be rewarded for your sweat.
That's why the being a stay at home "Dad" concept is a sham and destructive to a healthy and proper family unit. A woman can deny all She wants that She has no problem with a man being a staying at home dad, but believe me, deep down in her heart that woman doesn't respect you as a man. She sees you a little b**** acting like a little boy that she takes care of.
Conclusion:
If you don't have a job then make it your job to get a job. It can be Wal Mart, Burger King, Car wash, cutting grass or whatever that is proper, because sitting around all day doing jack nothing isn't a option; since its destructive to your mental and emotional health and a needless burden to others and society.
Our bodies were designed to move and work hard. Trust me, you will feel better overall mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically when you work hard and find it easier to sleep at night since you'll be drained.
Once I got back on My feet and started to labor and provide for Myself. My confidence and self worth came back to me. I feel renew and bless by God for My efforts.
So, don't let the government welfare system or anyone bird feed you. Its humiliating and degrading. GetUpAndGrind! And Earn It! 😎
I agree w/this one, I dated a guy like that and that was embarrassing. Granted at the time he had a part time job, so I thought maybe just maybe he would actually want to support himself. When the seasonal job ended, he did a job through a friend, not steady. Always complained about being broke, he wasn't working on a degree either. I live at home, but I have established myself in a pretty decent job and I could never think of not working at all.
Oh please. Stop with the god stuff. All that shite was made up to control society. Dude, there are, right now, people walking around that are 1000s of times smarter than you. That means they can learn in a day what would take your years. Why do you think there are so many 'gods' and religions and they all kill one another because their god is the best god? It's all a BS way or organizing society in a way that best benefits women and the state.
Why do you think men do now and have always paid the majority of taxes? Why are men's lives seen disposable in war? Why are the majority of homeless men but the majority of homeless shelters prioritize women? Last in the life boats? It's because women make the babies and men are disposable. Now, we have equality, which really just means more freebies for women, but men don't have to support women anymore. Women need to take care of themselves and not rely upon men for wealth, work, or to sacrifice their lives for women's lives. That shite is just plain evil.
I'm particularly smart, so I make a ton of money for practically doing nothing. When I retire (single/unmarried), I'll retire to a life of leisure and pleasure. I simply carefully picked the degree field that offered the most pay, best working conditions, best long term outlook and went to college and got straight As. Then, I mastered me field and people started throwing tons money at me after a couple of years. Yeah - I studied in one of the toughest to learn fields imaginable - but just the one that offered me the highest reward for my efforts - and yeah - I'm that good. In today's world, with socialism on the rise, forget about ever retiring for the NextGen and forget about marriage and family. All you earn will be taken from you through forced wealth transfer form the producers to the freeloaders (socialism). If I were born 20 years ago rather than 50, I'd simply sit back and collect welfare, too. Things were way, way different back then. Now? It's all bout socialism (gimme, gimme, gimme).
1. Obviously yes, we all need to make our way in life, work, earn a living, and not be vagabonds or bums or hikikomori.
2. What women want and find attractive isn't really a good motivator... if that was a valid reason to do something, we should all become criminals. I mean, look at this criminal o.aolcdn.com/.../...e0%2F200390632%2F451852136.jpg
I mean, this guy has a record for identity theft, grand larceny, illegal firearms, forgery... and where is he now that he got discovered by the hordes of women who want a nice thug?
That was a lot! Everyone, man, woman, and recently graduated high school or college student goes through a period in their life in which they have no motivation. Sometimes, it's up to the parents and their circle of friends who should motivate the individual to do more with their lives.
It may be a period of depression, confusion, being scared of the future. When one is not associated with a peer group who are active that person will take longer to recover.
There's nothing wrong with stay at home dads. I've mentioned before on here somewhere, why "work" only for 50-80% of your paycheck to go to childcare? Especially when there's another parent in the picture.
Don't be ashamed of your past. Know what you did, why you did it, and how you got over it. Learn from it and help others who are going through that challenging period in their lives. Everyone is different so do your best not to judge or degrade them based on how you felt about yourself or you think how people should be.
It's not JUST men, but, I absolutely agree: work/effort first, and reward later.
Freedoms and privileges come with responsibilities, and as the former grow, so does the latter. You are entitled only to what you EARN, and if you are occasionally given more, then you should be grateful.
As someone with a full-time job and 2 part-time jobs, I get angry seeing people living off taxpayers claiming they can't find a job or that they can't work - but they can play sports, drive cars (dangerously, in many cases), ride rollercoasters, and otherwise live comfortably on someone else's dime.
Bro, a week and half ago I saw a woman in her 60's mowing lawn in the heat of Miami in the afternoon. Lol. In her 60's working for a company cutting grass.
Yet young men claim they can't "Find" a job, that's why they aren't working. Smh.
If the job is not what you really want then fine, do it as a temporary gig til a better door opens up rather than collect government food.
A few years ago, I was out of work, and I was literally out mowing lawns and cleaning houses for bank-owned properties. It was low-paying, crappy work, but at least it was income for a couple of months until I was able to get something better.
"If you don't have a job then make it your job to get a job. It can be Wal Mart, Burger King, Car wash, cutting grass or whatever that is proper, because sitting around all day doing jack nothing isn't a option; since its destructive to your mental and emotional health and a needless burden to others and society."
You're committing a fatal error here by assuming that the unemployed man is sitting around all day doing jack nothing. He could be reading books, getting qualifications, figuring out his purpose in life, getting swole. Each and every one of those are 100% better than 'Wal Mart, Burger King, Car wash, cutting grass or whatever [it is that you THINK] is "proper"'.
It seems a lot of society's problems come from parents pressuring their kids to find a job when it's simply not their time to do so, at least not yet. Then when they are out there they get fed to the wolves, and their life gets messed up and no one cares. It's like it's more about the parents and less about the kids. Considering the alarming divorce rates I doubt parents of the past few generations did their job very well. Plus look at society now. Seems to happen more often than people think.
@vvn604 Sometimes not even the parents, particularly, but social pressures. "what do you do? what are your ambitions" type of questions are an utter anathema (even asked innocently), and shame unemployed people into relatively closeted lives and awkwardly cautious social interactions (bullshitting, etc.). People will mistake that for shyness, social awkwardness etc. Most of them are very oblivious and quick to make ignorant judgements. I think in many ways conforming to these low pay jobs is the easy thing to do and if we are going by the "contribute to the world, you lazy bastard" reasoning, then that is definitely not the best use of time and resources.
There is a quote (not mine): "some people will spend their lives working 9-5 jobs but think 5 years is a long time to wait to be successful"
This quote you shared "some people will spend their lives working 9-5 jobs but think 5 years is a long time to wait to be successful" is exactly the idea I have been struggling to convince my parents to concur with me on for the past few years. I was prepared to risk everything. It is better now but there is not a day that goes by without a genuine fight for this ideal.
And what you said about the '"contribute to the world, you lazy bastard" reasoning' and having working at low pay jobs to not be the the best use of time and resources I also agree with. In fact, I just posted a response to one of the asker's replies to someone's opinion reflecting what you stated:
And when you do have the time and resources to wait out those 5 years to be successful, your peers (social pressures as you have said) get jealous. For my situation I have "lost" a lot of friends and am essentially living the "relatively closeted" life with "awkwardly cautious social interactions" you described in order to be more 'humble' for doing something 'different', which in the end may lead to a more successful life than theirs. Ultimately, I will not sacrifice my soul (and I've noticed that people who have worked for some time look incredibly washed down having compensated too much of their morals I presume to the point they are no longer recognizable) as they are blindly doing or have already done.
I 100% agree with everything you said. Also in UK, the benefits system does a lot to hold down the unemployed since they are unable to get a job that pays higher than the money they get from the government - which itself is only a temporary measure and they lose it completely even if they get a low paying job. Homelessness is rampant, especially since Thatcher introduced measures allowing people to purchase their council homes, meaning that the council homes being purchased by people now in a better off position could not be renting by the people genuinely needing them. People often are pressured into getting the toxic kind of jobs you mention which are actually harmful more than anything, products are often sold at high prices (e. g. fast food) manipulating the fact people don't really have time with their work lives and psychological / physical needs for leisure, exercise, etc. to cook healthy, cheap, quality food...
But because of social pressure (e. g. "benefit sucking scumbag" news headlines; basement dwelling jobless men in their 20s without a girlfriend humiliation, "lives with his mum" etc.) a lot of these people do NOT bide their time - which is kind of understandable in many ways - and end up with precisely the kind of low paying jobs that will HURT their CVs / career prospects ("why would a cleaner think they are qualified for CEO). Even then it can be difficult to get low paying jobs, especially if you have no prior experience but then I guess that could be a good thing for some of the above mentioned reasons. Fortunately, there is volunteering and you can boost your CV with library experience, other positive white collar labour type things, etc. while demonstrating to others that you are "doing something" but I think there is something quite embarrassing about even that.
The question is how would people survive amid the chaos to avoid homelessness so they can stay home and cook "healthy, cheap, quality food"? What are people actively trying to pursue when unemployed and not wanting succumb to mind-numbing 9-5 jobs? What kind of lifestyle can one have living off money they get from the government? What needs to be done to ensure a good work-life balance when housing supply is low and jobs are not ideal? Does that translate to living with parents well into adulthood? Where does this lead people?
I don't think that's for me to answer personally but certainly, if people are going to make takes like the one above, I am going to call them out on their b. s. What I would say then based off my own experience is that culturally, there needs to be more emphasis on the direction people take than just the fact they need to get jobs. Again, this being from my perspective, governments do need to restructure the welfare system, just not in the way most people seem to think they need to be restructured.
@vvn604 well again this is just me personally, but a clue is typically looking at the things that excite you besides just thinking about the things that make you money. other considerations - social impact, if you care about that sort of thing (e. g. you pointed out burger king is not the most environmentally friendly or public health conscientious company), feasbibility (travel expense). I think time should be invested figuring out the right personal balance for you as an individual. why what do you think?
I definitely agree that you should do things that excite you rather than focusing on trying to find life's meaning by making as much money as possible. It simply doesn't make sense to do so because there is no end to riches. The truth is money is cheap. Most people don't see that. Although it is needed for our basic survival, very minimal is actually needed. Unfortunately, going overboard with it is the present-day norm. To illustrate, young adults require some sort of financial assistance from their parents these days in order to reach the same level of success (perhaps an example that could be used is complete financial independence) that they were able to achieve when they were their kids' age. The difference is that the parents were able to achieve this financial independence (such as no longer having to live with their own parents) by themselves with less time and resources. The young adults currently require more time and resources (laying out conditions...
... in exchange for food, shelter, other basic means, etc.). Parent-child relationships become more like business transactions, which leads to the absence of core family values that are absolutely vital for holding people within it together. I think the alarming divorce rates from the previous generation speaks to this truth. The casual sex, deteriorating relationships, and people's difficulty in forming genuine relationships are also a result of the above mentioned. When the whole society is like this people lose what you have said, and that is the "emphasis on the direction people (should) take".
@vvn604 You see, I kind of agree with you about the errors of materialism but then at the same time making a lot of money is not necessarily a bad thing. I mean, money can be used to buy tacky clothes and cheap thrills but it can also enhance one's lifestyle. You can go travelling with money. You can change your life - move to a nice area with a nice apartment with money. You can buy an education with money. For me, I would love a job that I am not only passionate about but gives me the financial independence I want to change my life in the direction I want it to move in. Other people might not be in that position I guess, and they would have to take a job they hate but makes them the money they want until they are in a position to change things around. Other people might just love their job so much they are willing to settle with the low pay. Everyone wants the 'perfect' balance I guess but it takes a while to get there.
I agree, I don't like the way kids are increasingly dependent on their parents, staying at home for longer and so forth. In my view, a big part of the problem is the education system, because kids are learning all this irrelevant stuff and they don't have time to build on their own dream career. But also, parents are not giving kids the tools they need earlier on to build on their own career of choice. To make things worse, there is this huge emphasis on going to uni and getting a good degree, and most degrees (unless you get e. g. an engineer degree or a law degree) will not guarantee you the job you want like they used to. In fact, a lot of degrees are completely useless and people could just be getting the qualifications they want more directly.
I believe what I am saying is that a lot of people invest in the wrong things. When parents have too much power over their kids, they use money to control them. Given what I have said about the divorce rates and all, and that the primary reason for the separation is typically money, and given that they were more easily able to achieve their basic needs at a young age, there is not much valid reason the young adults today (their children) would need to struggle as much financially as they do now. There has been a problem with resources allocated to buying unnecessary material possessions (such as more cars than needed, junk food, decorations, jewellery, make up, trendy shoes, clothes you don't need, etc.), which translates to living above one's means at the expense of the future of the next generation.
@vvn604 "I believe what I am saying is that a lot of people invest in the wrong things"
Totally agreed and agreed also about parents financially dominating. People have a tendency of limiting your options and then pointing out that you're "still free to choose", which is a pretty insidious trait.
"Given what I have said about the divorce rates and all,"
Sorry I skimmed the topic about divorce and promiscuity and stuff, because being a virgin and given that I could do with a lay, I am not so judgmental about promiscuous women. In fact, I wish more women were or with me anyway *shrug*. When people complain about all these easy girls, I just think about all the bitchy/guarded attitudes I got approaching women (respectfully) and I don't really relate to the thinking that women are just too easy nowadays. Maybe for some guys I don't know. I don't I don't think my personal insecurities that I mention here help much but that's another story.
it wasn't exactly my plan to be ethically monogamous: to just go along with that seems disingeneous. besides, the whole thing is kind of sexually frustrating and emasculating.
Perhaps I am not a guy so I wouldn't completely understand. This appears to be the greatest confusion between the sexes. I don't understand how it is emasculating, but it seems a lot of guys feel that way. I also don't understand guys can have sex without feeling any emotional attachment to the girl.
@vvn604 well guys are typically expected to do most of the work, approaching, dating, etc. so if they don't succeed at that it is like they have failed that particular role. kind of like how a mother might feel if she failed her kid I guess just moreso. second, attraction can be to different things , e. g. looks, personality, so there is not just one way to feel attraction. alo you can feel an emotional connection very quickly... a flower is short lived but it's still beautiful.
It seems I feel most if not all things emotionally all the time regardless of what I am doing, as though it's the essence of who am... since I don't recall ever feeling emotionally detached from anything. Emotions basically serve as the driving force in what I do although I'd say I'm also quite logical. Therefore I don't know if I can ever wrap my head around being able to be emotionally detached when it comes to sex (and separating the 2 attractions of looks, personality) as guys seem to be capable of doing...
It really, REALLY bugs me that I can't see sex and attraction the way guys can. The separating emotions thing... and how they can have sex without being emotionally attached. Like how on Earth is that even possible
'Emotions basically serve as the driving force in what I do although I'd say I'm also quite logical.'
Well, everyone is effectively both logical and emotional. Guys often say they are more rational or whatever, but then they get angry and say that is not an emotion. They also say they are more rational, but then you will see more guys blowing their money gambling which is often fueled by emotional decision making. Women will often make longer term logical decisions - e. g. judge a guy by personality not looks, look for a relationship and not ONS, etc. Even gold diggers are being logical decisions because dating a guy with lots of money makes sense even if it's not the right thing to do.
The way I see emotions vs logic is like this: humans need emotions as the reason to live. When you experience pain, pleasure, happiness, sadness, etc. those are all emotions and we don't need to rationalise or justify our inclination for wanting the full experience of life.
Logic then becomes a 'how-to': i. e. how do we go about getting this full experience of life and the bundle of emotions that come with it. The danger is when we try to use logic to rationalise or justify the reasons WHY we want those things. We all do it to some extent and thus can be forgiven but the problem with rationalisation lies in the fact that every time we rationalise, we stop taking ownership of our wants and needs and then we also lose site of the true motivation that drives us. Essentially we become blind to our own intent when we rationalise (i. e. lie to ourselves).
'It really, REALLY bugs me that I can't see sex and attraction the way guys can.'
I don't know that you would really want to. It's the equivalent of being excited about a really dramatic, fast-paced movie trailer with exciting music, flashing images and the rest but one that shows you the main details in the film - beginning, middle and end. Then you don't want to go see the actual film afterwards because you already know the beginning, middle and end so why bother.
'The separating emotions thing... and how they can have sex without being emotionally attached'
I guess from my perspective, it is a case of being attracted to the pleasure aspects - the physical sensations, the sexy view - and the validation of winning over a hot girl. It's kind of like eating at a fancy restaurant without wanting to actually go talk to the chef who made the meal. Not that I would actually know.
@vvn604 ""alo you can feel an emotional connection very quickly... a flower is short lived but it's still beautiful." - what do you mean by that?"
I think the fast moving movie trailer was a more insightful analogy. I was visualising a situation where you talk to a woman that you are trying to seduce, you learn about some of the things that make her laugh, some of the things that she feels sad about, some of the things that she likes, etc. so in a way you have opened up at least a page in her book of life before you have sex. Even when you are not talking, you might be learning about these things instinctively - through her eyes, her body language, her presence. Also I think there is the social misconception that attractive people are instinctively deep, meaningful, charismatic etc. So there is that illusion you are buying into as a guy when you are around an attractive woman - that lure and mysteriosity. Kind of like being around a tall dark man as a woman I guess.
What I'm trying to say is that attachment - to somebody you haven't even known for a long time, and someone who might not even possess the qualities they seem to possess from a cursory glance at that 'one page in their life story' - you can still get that attachment from a short experience. But at the same time, because it is a short-lived experience, you are not likely to feel as involved and therefore hurt as much when it goes as quickly as it came. Like ripping off a plaster fast, rather than trying to spend months or years trying to slowly tug it away (e. g. a relationship burnout where the wounds could take much, much longer to heal).
It's true. Guys can actually be quite emotional, and I think from what I have observed are probably even more do than girls. It's interesting how oblivious many people are to this fact.
I find very insightful what you stated here that "The danger is when we try to use logic to rationalise or justify the reasons WHY we want those things." because then "we stop taking ownership of our wants and needs and then we also lose sight of the true motivation that drives us. Essentially we become blind to our own intent when we rationalise (i. e. lie to ourselves)." I'm not sure I could have said it better myself. What you said I find to be so true especially since having appeared to have been doing that for most if not all of my years of my education. One of the reasons for having done so was perhaps mainly because has I not subconsciously suppressed my emotional needs during my years of schooling (ie. getting a boyfriend when I felt the desire to satisfy my sexual needs, and doing so would...
have jeopardized my ability to focus on being academically successful) I most likely wouldn't have been able to focus fully on what I was required to accomplish as a norm during that time. However, what I had done definitely came at an expense for I ended up experiencing a lot of emotional troubles throughout the years I wanted to be and was engaged in my studies. I traded off my emotional health for my overall wellbeing. I'm not sure whether I had much of a choice to do otherwise, for I was desperate to gain independence as quickly and as possible on the most efficient and proper manner (ie. as a female avoiding the emotional costs that come with having sex considering it takes full commitment to establish the foundations of a healthy relationship. Being in one that is less healthy, which requires less committment, was in my opinion a waste of my time and energy to be dedicated to something that is important to me.). I suppose one cannot have everything in life...
... but I would always strive to achieve the perfect balance. In a way that can be an alternative interpretation for wanting to have everything in life but achieving them at various times of your life. They say 'timing is everything'. For putting it this way, that "everything" can be understood as everything that is possible for one to desire to achieve in accordance with the methods that can be used to reach their goal given the resources available at the time in that person's life.
I also appreciate the time you have given to explain the speed at which one can get attached from short experience. It clarified the confusion I had with understanding what you had meant in what you previously mentioned.
What you said about how guys' view on sex and attraction is equivalent to that of being excited about a really dramatic, fast-paced movie trailer and not wanting to bother with seeing the actual film afterwards because you already know the beginning, middle and end I think...
.. is a very good way to make the association between the two. How I interpret it is that it doesn't appear there is anything serious happening when it occurs, so that is probably why I can't quite relate to the view and have difficulties accepting guys' attitudes towards sex and attraction. Given that human beings are sexual in nature, it seems this translates to showing that many guys are easily susceptible in following through with behaviours lacking responsibility in the minute details of life considering it seems what they frequently experience is inherently fleeting... much like the entertainment industry.
What you described as "It's kind of like eating at a fancy restaurant without wanting to actually go talk to the chef who made the meal." in being the way in which how guys are able to have sex with the absence of emotional attachment does help me understand more about their ability to do so...
How I interpret this is that they are able to have what I would experience as intimacy (ie. the giving of my energy, which more importantly shows that I care and is more likely to occur in greater amounts when being physically close to someone like when having sex. This does make a bit of sense when we think about how energy fields work..) and be intimate with another, getting physically close to them but not care. I think the keyword here is 'care'. Perhaps females more often associate care with love, and so that's when problems arise between the two sexes. And perhaps guys don't give off energy when they are physically near someone... or maybe it is a different kind of energy? Apparently, guys are able to still guard the love they have for their girlfriend when having sex with another, but girls lose their love for their boyfriend when they have sex with someone else. I feel a certain kind of knowledge is missing to fully explain the reason for this difference between men and women..
... which may have something to do which the different types of energies they are more likely to inherently give and withhold. This probably may not happen in my lifetime, so it may be something I would unfortunately never understand... maybe once I experience genuine intimacy with someone then I would be able to delve further to understanding this phenonmenon.
(P. S. Apparently some of the comments I posted on GaG were considered to be too offensive so my account was suspended for 48 hours. Not sure they'll find other reasons to suspend it for longer.)
@vvn604 I think the danger here is that we assume all men/women. For one thing there would definitely be men only interested in sex with their partners as well as women who may be even more promiscuous than I personally would like to be. Then while I would have at least some surface level attachment to a woman that opened herself up over a one night stand - a kind of 'whirlwind romance' - other men would not give a shit even about that. They would literally be using her from start to finish - pretending to be interested, etc. when they do not care in the slightest.
I actually used the chef analogy to kind of justify the sentiment in a way. With a movie trailer, it doesn't really make sense to spoil the movie you haven't seen yet but with the eating out thing, it's not really a common thing to go talk to the chef although I guess you might pass on your compliments through the waiter. I guess sex is different from food though.
I am aware that relationships can impair people's focus to get things done, especially as an undergraduate when they have not 'found themselves'. I guess I was probably like that for a little while but I have that level of focus now I doubt that would really be an issue. You see for a long time I did not have that confidence to do things just for myself but wanted to do cool things to impress women. Now, I know that the things I am passionate about I actually do them for myself and my own sanity more than anything else. I know that a woman would not really be able to distract me from my own goals. I think for you too based on what you said, that self-belief that you can do what needs doing and feel satisfaction in that is what's required.
I think I see your point that it's kind of sad that the guys just want the movie trailer rather than the full experience. But I think a lot of guys do want the full experience at some point they are just postponing that until they've seen a few trailers first. The idea of the full experience is scary because how do you know this woman is the one for you when you have not seen what other women are like, or been with other women before so you may even feel embarassed about your lack of experience. That's especially the case because I believe that men do not just feel emasculated by lack of experience instinctively/biologically but that society puts this pressure on men to be promiscuous (whereas the reverse applies for women).
@vvn604 'maybe once I experience genuine intimacy with someone then I would be able to delve further to understanding this phenonmenon.'
I think it's kind of sad the way that so-called experienced people cut off the inexperienced from making their thoughts and feelings known on a subject they are supposedly inexperienced about. I guess it is because they attribute this importance to their own experiences they hate the idea of someone rationalising or intellectualising about those without having actually gone out and got your hands dirty. But then that's the equivalent of going out and doing something without a plan and life has a way of showing us that this is not always a good idea. So maybe the experienced should not be so quick to shut down the inexperienced.
I just find that men are so intelligent and have such capacities for accomplishing tremendous feats that the fact they are not is absolutely devastating. How are women supposed to know where to go and what to do with no one to lead them considering this in a deeper sense?
Women are not made to do what most believe they should be doing in current times. They do not have the proper stamina to engage in the kind of repetitive work that is often required for most jobs, yet they oursue them due to societal pressures and lack of will and so forth. I do believe a woman's place is in the home.
This thread is getting a little long do you think? I have enjoyed talking to you very much, but am not sure whether a conversation continued on this thread is something of convenience for you.
I hated every moment I was unemployed since I suffered years of hunger and poverty when I couldn't work, which ranges from my age of 12 to 21.
There are cases (like me) when your job is finding a job but you're still left in hunger and threats of homelessness while no company even bothers to call you back. That was my experience at least. I did some small daily labor but those were temporary and underpaid. And on a side note: Not all jobs require you to sweat. There are desktop jobs also!
Also I wouldn't accept any lazy woman as my girlfriend. I'd like my lady to be ambitious too and seeing her getting her own stuff also!
Maybe it's a little different and better in America.
Im unemployed liveing at home tried multiple ideas for companies 2 ideas are still ongoing which could have turned me into a job creator, contacting pepole driving across country to meet pepole after getting my drivers licence. I do most of the house and yard work I am and have been involved with charity organisations go to meetups taught my self to develop games and websites, do 3d modeling , version control and repair most things I work on projects or something nearly every day and frequently completely miss a nights sleep while learning or working on something. Before that i had temp work but they where all hard to get and keep and I wasn't valued no matter how hard i worked plus i didn't need to work to get by so I decided to focus on my self study and interests to try and make something more of my self than trying to get work that was over supplied and had very little value attributed to it so was poorly paid.
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Also your a moron thinking we should be given higher expectations than women the economy sucks and if you don't yet have yet have skills that are in demand your going to struggle if you do you will succeed.
Loved the message, the versus, and I couldn't agree more! So many guys are not using all their potential! I am lazy myself but I am trying to climb out of it! Wish there were more guys like you!
If you live where i live its super hard to find a job right npw it took me 6 months to find my first job which closed down 2 months later then 8 months to find my 2md job which am still at for 16 months now. My point is sometimes life just fucks u
I wouldn't want my theoretical husband to adopt the attitude of the type of male the asker just described like choosing to be employed by Wal Mart, Burger King, or washing cars. One reason being Burger King isn't even necessary. The "fast foods" they distribute, or in other words "fake foods" are toxic and unfit for human consumption as are other corporate food chains. Working there does not positively contribute to society in any way. In fact, it does the exact opposite. People who do work there otherwise do not see beyond the big picture and are probably people I would want to surround myself with.
Too much patriarchal bs in this take. Men are not mentally, emotionally, and spiritually stronger than women. And there's nothing wrong with being a stay at home dad. Quite giving people shit for living a different lifestyle.
Men get validation from work and providing, that should be an honor. Women are more emotionally inclined men are more physically. Women are more supportive and caring while men are more analytical and straight forward. There are differences, nothing wrong with that. Men need work.
Why is it poor people who live off welfare are scum, but it's okay for rich kids to live off trust funds, they're not working either, what's the difference?
I see you everywhere on this website lol I'm going to be honest I didn't read all of what you wrote because my eyes are getting tired but I just wanted to let you know that😂🙂
You make it sound like I am the one who has to impress other women to get some. Most women I meet know little more than my name, doing just fine, regardless.
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