The Truth About Playing Hard To Get

I see a lot of posts on here about playing hard to get. Girls are wondering, will a guy lose interest and attraction if I show interest? Do we need to compromise our standards, because we have no other choice? After all, another girl will, if I won't. It's an interesting topic, and it is sad that a lot of girls feel like they have to compromise in the matter of their heart.

There are guys out there, not all guys, but some, who do not care about your wellbeing and don't want you to know this.

On the matter of attraction:

1. Respect builds attraction. Boundaries built respect. Boundaries are built by knowing what we want, what we expect, and being willing to walk if we don't get it.

2. Also, attraction is built when there is investment. This is used tactically in seduction techniques for men to get women. While this can be contorted into manipulation, it is based off of a very intrinsic element of human psychology.

There should be slow mutual investment if there is going to be longstanding mutual attraction. It’s a known fact that we attach a higher value to what costs us more.

The Truth About Playing Hard To Get

“Playing hard to get" is a game. When he’s caught you, he will drop you like a cat when a string stops moving.

Instead, it’s about being high value and having boundaries that require investment. If a guy is willing to invest, great. You can invest as well. If not, are you happy with what he's offering? Is what you have now what you want? If he isn't willing to step up his game, then he's not what you want anyway.

There will always be girls willing to give a guy everything for little to nothing, if all he wants is something easy. In that case, he isn't offering what you want, either. There are guys out there willing to step it up, if enough attraction + value is cultivated through having standards, boundaries, internal confidence and a fulfilling life.

Even a high profile and respected pickup artist not many years ago expressed in an interview that he got married because of a girl who did these things. I'm not saying trying to get a player is a good idea, only don't let anyone dissuade you from taking your power back and finding a mutually fulfilling relationship.

If you want to look into these ideas further, there is ample information out there- even on youtube. This is your heart and it's your life. I hope you take the time.

Wishing you all the love you hope to find <3


Most Helpful Girl

  • For me I don't really play hard to get. I literally just am because of my schedule and me as a person. It takes consistency and I'm honest. I don't drag along. It's just hard to get my attention at first, but once you've got it. You got it, if that makes sense. Well for that time being and we'll see how it goes from there. My relationships last a long time thanks to that honestly so I have no complaints. My advice is don't settle.

    • I couldn't have said it better myself. You are going places! Women have the mind set as the woman above.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Well, I will admit that I am hard to keep up with and most men can get frustrated if they are interested in me, 'cause I say "No" several times even before giving someone the occasion of taking me to a first date, but it works for me, it eliminate lots of men I wouldn't stay with.

    In my opinion, it's not black and white, it strongly depends on your potentialities, because, let's be frank, not everyone can afford BEING (not playing) hard to get equally as others.

  • Amazing read to highlight my day :)

  • Good take..

  • Great point

  • I'm not playing hard to get... I'm just picky!


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