While it is usually more common for female students to fall in love with their male professors, I am one of the few male students in love with my female professor. I've had her for about three semesters now and even though some of our classes have been online, we still know each other fairly well through regular email correspondence and office hours.
I have a pattern of falling in love with female educators
This all began in 7th grade when I developed a massive crush on my substitute teacher. My classmates knew about it and dared me to propose to her. While nobody thought that I would do it, I proved them wrong by getting down on one knee before the entire class and popping the question. It went down as the most memorable event of middle school. Several years later, as a college student, I have a massive crush on my female English professor.
I've been listening to boybands and cheesy love songs for relief, daydreaming about her, wishing to profess my love to her.
She treats me very well, like a human being
Without divulging too many autobiographical details, we both share departments. She is an English professor and I am a very well known English major at our institution. As an honors student, I was selected to participate in a very exclusive academic conference. Even though she did not have to come, she still chose to take time out of her busy schedule in order to come down and support me.
She is going through a difficult time right now
I have reason to suspect that she went through a divorce.
While she has not yet opened up to me about it, I have reason to believe that she is going through a difficult time. I suspect that it is a divorce, for reasons I would rather not divulge. But I've noticed that she has also been much nicer to me than usual, giving me hugs, and speaking to me more casually.
I genuinely love her and want to marry her
Graduation is nigh upon us, and soon I will be transferring to a different institution to complete my studies. I am tempted to pour out my heart to her, get on one knee, and propose.
I love her in the same way I love my mother and sister. If she were to offer me sex right now, I would turn her down for the sole reason that I am a Christian and respect her too much to take advantage of her during this difficult time, in the aftermath of what I suspect was a divorce. Even so, I am tempted to pour out my heart to her and profess my undying love, begging her to marry me. Realistically I know that this will never happen, and I've made peace with the fact that we will probably never be together, but I am always going to have these feelings for her.
I am probably going to see her one last time before graduation. Even though I doubt that I will propose to her (I care too much about our relationship to ruin it), I hope to speak to her on a more personal level and at least confess that I care very much about her.
Everything I do is to make her proud. Even though she is somewhat of a feminist, and I am a hardcore reactionary, I genuinely care about her, and look up to her as a kind of surrogate older sister. My heart urges me to confess my feelings to her, but my head tells me to keep it hidden and bear the burden of this secret forever, lest I ruin our relationship and/or tarnish her career.
Have you ever had a crush on an educator?