Why men dont ask help and why they dont talk about their problems

Why men dont ask help and why they dont talk about their problems

A lot has been said about why men don't ask for help and why they don't talk about their problems. A lot more will be said about it. Its all totally useless. Let me tell you why.

In my life I have been beaten up three times in broad daylight. It happened every time when I went and came from school. The streets that I knew and had taken a thousand times before had become the backdrop of violence against me.

Well what did you do to them to get beaten up?

That is the question that I must defend myself against every time I talk about the violence I had suffered. Because I am a man people assume that I must have done something to provoke the attacks.

Every single time I have gone to the police, the perpetrators where identified and taken to the police department for interrogation. Afterwards I was called back to the police department. The police told me three times there was no reason for the attacks.

They were unprovoked, at random. Arbitrarily, I was selected to get beaten up.

When I say this to people, they can't believe I didn't do anything to provoke the attacks. They don't believe gangs are patrolling the streets looking to beat up school boys.

A man must not only defend himself during the attack, he must also defend himself after the attack. People assume male victims always provoke violence against them.

This is the reason why I almost never speak of it. Because I can't bear the prejudice people have. This has nothing to do with toxic masculinity. Its simply common prejudice.

If there is one thing that I learned from these attacks is that even when you are the victim of violence, because you are a man people will treat you like scum. Even the female police officer in the police department treated me as such when I told her I was there to file a complaint for having suffered violence.

I would like to close this mytake with two statements.

1. When people talk about violence done against men, nobody lets the victims speak.

2. What does this teach boys and men? it teaches them that nothing but might makes makes right.

Why men dont ask help and why they dont talk about their problems
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Most Helpful Guys

  • nixon1509
    As far as I am concerned you cannot cross the bridge to manhood without a proper ass beating. It humbles you and it makes you stronger. It let's you know there is always someone tougher. So stop the whining and be thankfull you have had the opportunity to learn the lessons three times over.
    Is this still revelant?
    • If thats your idea I can understand it, but this can also be achieved in a controlled environment like a boxing club instead of randomly picking out schoolboys on the streets.

    • The fact that it is uncontrolled is what makes it such a learning experience. Men endure violence and danger, plain and simple.

      As I have aged, I carry a.357 magnum with me almost every where for exactly this reason.

  • billyboy37
    what the fuck? you are not schooling people here with changing the way shit is... u fuckin.. i want to beat u up now. stopvwatever crybaby bullshit u uswe to.. i... i really want to punch u in the nose. wait.. how do u dress? like a goth im guessing?
    Is this still revelant?
    • If you want to change society you must spread awareness first. The best way is to share your personal stories.

    • billyboy37

      absolutely.. these last few generations of kids.. fuckin success dr king.. more than ur dream could ever realize.. every girl ever-i want big bad black cock cuz its wats wrong.. and wrong is fun..

    • billyboy37

      and i am loud and unnecessarily emotional and i won't stop till its resolved.. the part noone seems to see is... nothing can make me unhappy until real shit does... people cry when it is all they got left.. i laugh cuz i liv by rule 1- all the good only happens on this path
      whats comin next? and ignorantly ignor the bad and never repeat it outloud...

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girls

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • MayorGoldieWilson
    There is this idea that when it comes to men the same rules that apply to women, don’t stand to men.

    For example, I answered a question on here about a woman who slapped a guy on the ass in the street. He didn’t know her and she did it out of nowhere.

    I commented saying that it was sexual harassment, however the consequences of her doing it are nil, compared to if he had of walked up to her and did it. He would have been arrested. Why?

    Men can be sexually abused, sexually assaulted, be victims of rape and physical abuse (from men and women).

    A lot of men are in physically abusive relationships with women.

    To answer the other part of your question, why men don’t speak out. Because we are conditioned not too.. we are raised with the idea that men have to be macho and not talk about feelings.. we can’t have struggles or get depressed or suicidal, we can’t succumb to the same level of violence that women can. Its bollocks.

    And in a world where everyone is talking about how women are not equal to men, I see all the ways that men are not equal to woman. It works both ways. There is injustice in both sexes.
    • Let it be said that I am all for equal rights for women, I’m not arguing against that at all.

    • JimmyQ

      This is a weird twist to the subject at hand, but it needs to be said. I fully agreed. When it comes to criminal acts committed by women the attitude of the legal system is, SO WHAT?

      A mans take away from this is that corruption breeds corruption. I no longer have any respect for authority. I didn't grow up that way and was never this way before, but I have seen over and over how women are caught lying through their teeth in an attempt to do harm to a man and even when it is proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that she conjured the entire story with the intent to do harm, nothing is ever done.

      Men go to jail on the word of a woman and when it is later proven she made the whole thing up... crickets. One of my friends told me that he makes women sign a consent form before he will take them to bed.

      Is that where this society headed?

  • FrostiesAndFries
    I agree 100%. Guys get shamed or treated as the cause and I've felt this in my life as well. I dont want to talk about what happens because 1. I dont want to bother others with my issues and 2. Worry that I'll be looked down on or told my feelings are unjustified. I was blamed for my sisters actions so many times and my parents treated us so differently when it came to responses to our actions. It hurt and still hurts...
    • You will soon be out of the house and you can put as much distance between your parents/sister and you as you want. Fuck them. Family's often see son's as expendable, that works both way -- do your own thing and never look back.

  • Jbarry
    Because war is at the heart of all society. We try to cover it up and ignore it but it's always there. And so we are always trying summoning warriors from our stock of boys. Not in a planned or conscious way, but in subtle way which lead to the situation you describe.
  • Liston
    I read a few years ago that the greatest fear young men had was walking down the street and being beaten up by other young men. As a teenager i saw this and heard about it on many occasions. Rarely were any adults concerned about the violence at all... it was so common place.
  • Zealashton
    Reeason why,
    we are raised that way.
    wemon are hypocites, no one will lesson to use,
    have you not seen joker
    he is pretty much like me.
    Both products of a whore
    both lived lives are ruin and hell
    both have that same tick
    he laghs when exicited / streesed.
    And I make wired noises, at the moment I do growling with my tougn
    no one really cares really. If they did, my life would be normal
  • ronaldo75
    You are right in 100% of your post but let me just add that women more than men tend to be "irritated" by a man crying and venting about his problems. Many women mock men for not expressing their feelings but will then weaponize a guy's insecurities and emotions against him
    • Absolutely correct. Never, ever talk with a woman about your "feelings". Nothing disgusts a woman faster than a man who shows any sign of weakness. Lean on you brothers-from-another-mother, women are not to be trusted.

  • KrakenAttackin
    Absolutely correct. When a man experiences violence he is expected to "man up and shut up". We are not like women, we cannot go on and on about being a victim.

    Women do not tolerate weakness from a man on any front. When a man breaks down and genuinely asks for help from his woman he is likely to be met with contempt and horror.
  • TheLawAroundHere
    Well put. Son, this is the downside of aociety. Well... one of them.

    you're a man! Stand up for yourself! Stop being a sissy!

    I can hear it now...

    I feel sorry for you. In my day, a palm strike to the bridge of a bullys nose was about all it took to get someone down off your ass. When you get jumped walking to and from school, by varying numbers of knuckle dragging mouth breathers, you can't really prepare for that.

    I know this is tough. But please. Stay focused on who the specific people are that are causing the shit. Resist any urge that pushes you towards any kind of blind vengence.

    Good luck kid.
  • ConfusedOfTheWorld
    I won't even read this entire article, personally I I don't do it because no one cares, no one understands, and I can not trust anyone to keep my secrets. Some guy in college said once "teach me your ways" because I did something well, other time a different person said "I wish I was as good as him". They don't know that I sleep max 4/5 hours a day, suffer from complexes, anxiety and friends which I don't have in this country. Torture my brain to invent new things for my art, and still is worse than others, fiercely try to learn new languages, science, philosophy, psychology etc. because I think I am a waste and a retarded person. This is just a bit of me, tell me who would give a f*** about it apart a fake psycholog whom I pay? If even my parents think that my problems are senseless.
    • I'm 19 and I care. You're not alone and I get how you feel. It makes your chest feel like its going to implode.

    • Part of getting older is getting some clarity. You clearly have a lot of brain power, but it is difficult to learn how to wield that power and channel it into something positive for you. Fuck everyone else, find your own path, do you own thing, and the right people will gravitate to you.

  • timp1001
    We do talk we just talk to men to men other then opposite gender as we feel we will end up being judge not only that but we also don't want to put pressure on our beloved family or partner. 👪🙏
  • morrowlow
    no one likes helping men and no one would listen to men's problems. every time a man speaks up all the women and all the white knights start saying " you're whiny" and "you're a pussy". then they blame suicides and school shootings on toxic masculinity. they can shove those theories up their asses. here's what i do in life. i help myself when i need help and then i ignore everyone else's problems. that way i don't expect anything from others and i don't owe them anything. if a woman's feet hurt when she stands in the train it's not my problem and she doesn't get my seat
    It is just us being us. We don't usually ask for help unless it is a last resort.
  • Kaneki05
    In the end not many people care and it's sad.
  • bamesjond0069
    Because men don't whine and complain. Here you are whining and complaining. Smh. Try again.
    • morrowlow

      and you're not being tough. this is just stupid. try again

    • Maybe you should be a part of the suicide statistic.

  • KillianK
    For the same reason why men have historically been given harder jobs
    • billyboy37

      given? try taken and even fought for... men are fuckin savages when its all we got left.. we go dark.. silent strong and ready to kill evryone els to feed and protect our own.. look at streets.. jail esp. and every dennys ever

  • rush2akku
    I don't know I'm similar kind of "men" maybe we think others have enough to deal with so or let's find out
  • TwoToTooTutu2
    Personally, I don't because I'm not sharing personal details with any random person
  • Ilmyf_
    Maybe because of ego
    • Please do not generalize men. I can tell you that a very large amount of guys are just as if not more insecure then a lot of women. If we talk about our issues we fear being judged, ignored, made fun of, and taken advantage of. Please remember you have no idea what hardships others go through in their lives.

    • Ur not entirely wrong here, look,, its not wrong either way,,, but danger exist, why wouldn't women be attracted to men who are fearless... i learned and wen in danger, i killed for the girl i loved. Men trust me, we have to die befor the women and children are even scratched accept this death now proudly,,, fearless fornlife... say to her... better me than u everytime u getnhurt

    • @FrostiesAndFries She does not only know what hardships men go through, she does not care. Welcome to the modern woman. Women do not tolerate weakness in men.

    • Show All
  • They were taught that it is a sign of weakness.
    • nixon1509

      That is exactly what it is. You take all your fear and anxiety and smash it down soo far you forget you have them.

  • YankeeD
    I have no opinion
  • Anonymous
    @FrostiesAndFries She said maybe. She wasn't making a statement, the way so many men do: "women this" and "women that"...

    @Ilmyf_ This is why so many women don't post on GAG anymore but, rather, join Girls Forums.
    • Who cares. Also, it is proof positive that women simply do not care about anything that does not benefit them.

  • Anonymous
    Don’t need it. They couldn’t help anyways or would I ask. Don’t need them.