this changed my mindset, perspective on approaching or talking to women:
"A guy was asking for advice on how to get better at talking to women, and people used the word practice
It bothers me, enrages me a lot when people use the word practice, because for women, there is no such thing as practicing talking to men because women's lives are on autopilot when it comes to talking to men since puberty, due to all of the constant attention they've been getting since then, women are forced to, have no choice but to learn how to talk to men, and they gain it right away by doing nothing since they don't have to open their mouth first."
After reading those, i thought to myself, never truer words have been said or spoken, completed nailed it.
The only way this is one sided is if men don't expect women to carry their part of a conversation and are only approaching them because of looks alone... I've seen many comments from men, young to middle aged men, saying they don't care what a woman does. As if, it doesn't matter if she's employed or not, if she's intelligent or not. All she has to have is an acceptable facade. If that's all you're choosing, well, your odds are poor of getting an acceptable match...
@Screenwriter another thing that changed my mindset, perspective on this, is that some self-improvement coaches or relationship coaches, have said that women are hard-wired or are naturally more social than men are due to evolutionary psychology or evolutionary biology, as in, it goes back to hunter gatherer society, women were forced to be more social due to staying in groups or in caves
I think there is a point to this. But think of male hunters. They had to cooperate to get food. Their cooperation was more of the silent type because they could not disturb foraging animals. They were silent when in their groups. Women were talkative: There's more taro over here. Stop. We need to move to another spot. How's your sick baby doing? Does your husband still have aches in his ankle? So those would be VERY EARLY evolutionary facts about hunter gatherers. But we've been farmers for 12,000 years, supplemented by hunter gathering. Farmers can talk while they work, especially during harvest. I'd think in 12 millennia there could be some progress among men. I also think THE MOST SUCCESSFUL men are able to negotiate between the worlds of more loquacious females and more restrained males. However, men who choose women they have to pander to... approach, offer financial support, impress, are making choices likely to fail. Today, women should also have their financial support in place, have to impress males, make approaches to males. It might simply be chatting with someone after an introduction about a work issue, their family of origin, their hobbies. THe more aligned a man and woman are, copacetic, the better outcome a relationship might have. If a man has to do ALL the work, that's the setup for a man having to do everything from that moment on... A poor outcome.
Kinda undermined your entire argument in the last paragraph. Also you seem to conflate approaching women as being an act of trust (that she won't cheat). But you couldnt possibly know that from an initial approach-- I'd even argue you cam NEVER know for sure a woman won't cheat.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
I think most men should avoid women at all cost. They are lazy, they cheat anytime, they are hipergamous, most of them don't even like men they use most men for resources and their own emotional needs like love, stability and feeling secure. They only desire very very few guys but those guys are unloyal so if you are not attractive hot guy stay away because she is using you. If all 70, 80% of men stop approaching women and only use hookers for sex they would be happy, free and wealthy and live longer. What women gives men beside sex? Nothing.
I approached a women a couple of times. Got rejected on both and another had a group of friends waiting on her... and they talked about how nasty pathetic I was and laughed as they walked away like I didn't even exist.
Now take into account the fake rape metoo movement and the fact that women are too fucking picky and presto! You got men who will hate women and never approach them, jeez it's almost like women create the very incels they hate.
Dude, pretty elaborate scheme. Why not pull the training wheels off of that thing and see what you can do on your own without a chaperone?
Most woman don't bite, at lease not right away and this petri dish approach definitely has wussy written all over it.
When you feel you need an introduction to have an audience with a potential suitor, that should be a big red flag. Do you just have no talent or are you really gross?
No genetic in that just culture habitus, social, norms, history, cliche, society. But that tend to change and must change, and it is the role of every woman and of every man to assume their desires to meet the other to have sex... :Equality! gender sould no more define roles! That's my opinion and your could be different no probs with that
It is based on the law of supply and demand. Women age 50 and above usually approach men because there are far more single women than single men in that age group. Between the ages of 18 to 25, there are almost 25% more single men than single women so men in that group usually approach.
Except in modern times, during wars, many men but few women are killed. Therefore, during and immediately after wars women usually approached.
Well, my view of it is that there is lots of competition for women and the vast majority of guys will have to approach unless they want to automatically lose the competition.
He wouldn't. But if you're talking about paternity confidence, that's really about the man being sure that he's the father. Just because the man pursues the woman and thinks she won't cheat, doesn't mean that she's not the type to do so. That's not a way to be confident about that. If anything that's a way that guys are easily fooled by such women.
If a man has a feeling a woman might not have any sense of loyalty he is not gonna have any confidence in her. You fail to see the scope of it all. Men actively have opposed female reproductive strategies, like promiscuity, to strengthen their own reproductive strategy, which revolves around paternity confidence. Entire social organization of male dominated societies have been built on this.
In ancient rome, men married sex slaves who were specially trained for marriage slave trainers. more and more women were become promiscuis agressive and this decreased men's confidence in their own women too much. at the end of classical antiquity only 60.000 people in rome were of latin stock. the city of rome contained millions of people.
I understand the conflict between female vs male mating strategies, and why social conventions are put in place. In the past the social conventions which were put in place to ensure paternity confidence were things such as the shaming of promiscuity, the heavy stigmatisation of pre-marital sex, the expectation that women especially should be virgins until the day they were married.
What I'm asking here is how today, since all of those things have been removed almost completely from Western culture, men approaching women helps men with paternity confidence at all?
What's very common for example is for a woman to be promiscuous, but then when she meets a man she wants to lock down she pretends that she never was because she knows that if he knew that, he wouldn't take her seriously. If that man approaches such a woman, and she plays kind of hard to get, then he's usually pretty easily fooled by her act is what I'm saying. In today's culture it takes a lot more than that to be sure that she's a good woman.
How about men need to approach women who give out CLEAR signals. And... woman need to learn how to give out those CLEAR signals instead of doing stupid shit that we cannot read. If a woman likes you she will ignore you. If a woman likes you she will give you attention. Which do I trust?
LOL it's funny because sometimes it's not true either. She could ignore u and never acknowledge your existance and liked you, and she could give you attention but friendzone u.
All these signs stuff is just bullshit, u gotta just ask
I disagree with your conclusions. As we are constantly told, day in day out, this is "2020" and things are "progressive" now. I say let women come to you, and shoot them down just like they do to you.
Reasonable. Or as I like to put it for the girls... If your guy can't go after what he wants cuz he's too weak, he'll do that with EVERYTHING. And you'll be completely bored out of your mind.
This is true, to a certain degree. I'd say it would on look y be fully true if her intentions r to smash and dash. Tho, I dont see this take place in public places, but rather, in clubs or house parties. This seems the most reasonable place for a neutral activity.
I'll go through a middleman... a dating agency/matchmaking service
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
"Men must approach women because by doing so he gives a signal that he has thus far, enough confidence in her not to be a disgusting cheating bitch." Why is that a reason? It would go both ways.
Actually this is a crime in some places. "Unwanted/uninvited approaching" is considered misogyny hate crime. I don't care if you're vagina can produce gold dust you aren't worth that risk.
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this changed my mindset, perspective on approaching or talking to women:
"A guy was asking for advice on how to get better at talking to women, and people used the word practice
It bothers me, enrages me a lot when people use the word practice, because for women, there is no such thing as practicing talking to men because women's lives are on autopilot when it comes to talking to men since puberty, due to all of the constant attention they've been getting since then, women are forced to, have no choice but to learn how to talk to men, and they gain it right away by doing nothing since they don't have to open their mouth first."
After reading those, i thought to myself, never truer words have been said or spoken, completed nailed it.
The only way this is one sided is if men don't expect women to carry their part of a conversation and are only approaching them because of looks alone... I've seen many comments from men, young to middle aged men, saying they don't care what a woman does. As if, it doesn't matter if she's employed or not, if she's intelligent or not. All she has to have is an acceptable facade. If that's all you're choosing, well, your odds are poor of getting an acceptable match...
@Screenwriter another thing that changed my mindset, perspective on this, is that some self-improvement coaches or relationship coaches, have said that women are hard-wired or are naturally more social than men are due to evolutionary psychology or evolutionary biology, as in, it goes back to hunter gatherer society, women were forced to be more social due to staying in groups or in caves
I think there is a point to this. But think of male hunters. They had to cooperate to get food. Their cooperation was more of the silent type because they could not disturb foraging animals. They were silent when in their groups. Women were talkative: There's more taro over here. Stop. We need to move to another spot. How's your sick baby doing? Does your husband still have aches in his ankle? So those would be VERY EARLY evolutionary facts about hunter gatherers. But we've been farmers for 12,000 years, supplemented by hunter gathering. Farmers can talk while they work, especially during harvest. I'd think in 12 millennia there could be some progress among men. I also think THE MOST SUCCESSFUL men are able to negotiate between the worlds of more loquacious females and more restrained males. However, men who choose women they have to pander to... approach, offer financial support, impress, are making choices likely to fail. Today, women should also have their financial support in place, have to impress males, make approaches to males. It might simply be chatting with someone after an introduction about a work issue, their family of origin, their hobbies. THe more aligned a man and woman are, copacetic, the better outcome a relationship might have. If a man has to do ALL the work, that's the setup for a man having to do everything from that moment on... A poor outcome.
Kinda undermined your entire argument in the last paragraph. Also you seem to conflate approaching women as being an act of trust (that she won't cheat). But you couldnt possibly know that from an initial approach-- I'd even argue you cam NEVER know for sure a woman won't cheat.
I think most men should avoid women at all cost. They are lazy, they cheat anytime, they are hipergamous, most of them don't even like men they use most men for resources and their own emotional needs like love, stability and feeling secure. They only desire very very few guys but those guys are unloyal so if you are not attractive hot guy stay away because she is using you. If all 70, 80% of men stop approaching women and only use hookers for sex they would be happy, free and wealthy and live longer. What women gives men beside sex? Nothing.
I approached a women a couple of times. Got rejected on both and another had a group of friends waiting on her... and they talked about how nasty pathetic I was and laughed as they walked away like I didn't even exist.
Now take into account the fake rape metoo movement and the fact that women are too fucking picky and presto! You got men who will hate women and never approach them, jeez it's almost like women create the very incels they hate.
Dude, pretty elaborate scheme. Why not pull the training wheels off of that thing and see what you can do on your own without a chaperone?
Most woman don't bite, at lease not right away and this petri dish approach definitely has wussy written all over it.
When you feel you need an introduction to have an audience with a potential suitor, that should be a big red flag. Do you just have no talent or are you really gross?
No genetic in that just culture habitus, social, norms, history, cliche, society. But that tend to change and must change, and it is the role of every woman and of every man to assume their desires to meet the other to have sex... :Equality! gender sould no more define roles! That's my opinion and your could be different no probs with that
Ok, no skin, but where is his fat and penis?
I was hoping to be impressed... but now I'm only disappointed. Imagine the crux of any insight coming down to cucks.
Lol, well there is some biology to it I guess. I mean, men who didn't care their partners cheat on them didn't get to reproduce as much, or at all.
It is based on the law of supply and demand. Women age 50 and above usually approach men because there are far more single women than single men in that age group. Between the ages of 18 to 25, there are almost 25% more single men than single women so men in that group usually approach.
Except in modern times, during wars, many men but few women are killed. Therefore, during and immediately after wars women usually approached.
Well, my view of it is that there is lots of competition for women and the vast majority of guys will have to approach unless they want to automatically lose the competition.
I'm not sure what you mean by this. How does a man approaching a woman automatically = paternity confidence? How are they even linked?
There are many stages like approaching them, talking to them, dating them, proposing marriage, etc but I tried to keep it short.
Yeah but it's still not clear how that relates to paternity confidence at all.
Its a social convention. Why would a man invest time, money and energy in a girl that he thinks might cheat on him easily?
He wouldn't. But if you're talking about paternity confidence, that's really about the man being sure that he's the father. Just because the man pursues the woman and thinks she won't cheat, doesn't mean that she's not the type to do so. That's not a way to be confident about that. If anything that's a way that guys are easily fooled by such women.
If a man has a feeling a woman might not have any sense of loyalty he is not gonna have any confidence in her. You fail to see the scope of it all. Men actively have opposed female reproductive strategies, like promiscuity, to strengthen their own reproductive strategy, which revolves around paternity confidence. Entire social organization of male dominated societies have been built on this.
In ancient rome, men married sex slaves who were specially trained for marriage slave trainers. more and more women were become promiscuis agressive and this decreased men's confidence in their own women too much.
at the end of classical antiquity only 60.000 people in rome were of latin stock. the city of rome contained millions of people.
I understand the conflict between female vs male mating strategies, and why social conventions are put in place. In the past the social conventions which were put in place to ensure paternity confidence were things such as the shaming of promiscuity, the heavy stigmatisation of pre-marital sex, the expectation that women especially should be virgins until the day they were married.
What I'm asking here is how today, since all of those things have been removed almost completely from Western culture, men approaching women helps men with paternity confidence at all?
What's very common for example is for a woman to be promiscuous, but then when she meets a man she wants to lock down she pretends that she never was because she knows that if he knew that, he wouldn't take her seriously. If that man approaches such a woman, and she plays kind of hard to get, then he's usually pretty easily fooled by her act is what I'm saying. In today's culture it takes a lot more than that to be sure that she's a good woman.
How about men need to approach women who give out CLEAR signals. And... woman need to learn how to give out those CLEAR signals instead of doing stupid shit that we cannot read. If a woman likes you she will ignore you. If a woman likes you she will give you attention. Which do I trust?
LOL it's funny because sometimes it's not true either. She could ignore u and never acknowledge your existance and liked you, and she could give you attention but friendzone u.
All these signs stuff is just bullshit, u gotta just ask
@Games_ you forgot. She can say she likes you but not like you. She can say she doesn’t like you and like you.
Women: men are complicated.
This is how woman are nowadays
Yeah they like to complicate things that dont need to be complicated.
They kinda brung it on themselves.
Once I see a girl playing games like that I honestly hop
I disagree with your conclusions. As we are constantly told, day in day out, this is "2020" and things are "progressive" now. I say let women come to you, and shoot them down just like they do to you.
Reasonable.
Or as I like to put it for the girls...
If your guy can't go after what he wants cuz he's too weak, he'll do that with EVERYTHING. And you'll be completely bored out of your mind.
I like to approach women with my zipper half down and I say "Hey baby, I did half the work for you..."
There's nothing about my life experience and the things I've heard from other people that would suggest that you are right.
Because women who chase after men are labeled as sleazy, men appreciate women who they try to go after
This is true, to a certain degree. I'd say it would on look y be fully true if her intentions r to smash and dash. Tho, I dont see this take place in public places, but rather, in clubs or house parties. This seems the most reasonable place for a neutral activity.
It does suck that more guys ask girls.
I'll go through a middleman... a dating agency/matchmaking service
"Men must approach women because by doing so he gives a signal that he has thus far, enough confidence in her not to be a disgusting cheating bitch."
Why is that a reason? It would go both ways.
Actually this is a crime in some places. "Unwanted/uninvited approaching" is considered misogyny hate crime. I don't care if you're vagina can produce gold dust you aren't worth that risk.
A gold dust vagina? I think a lot of men might argue that one with you...