The Pink Guide to Speaking Blue (Page 2)

[wellhack]

Me personally I'd disagree with
Number 6 as knowing it's almost like you're giving no accountability to men men should be able to meet halfway with their partner
And as of number 5 if you're holding yourself back it's not good for the long run you're basically saying to mask you're emotions which would lead to bigger problems. Yes if he seems upset in anyway it's better to focus on whats going on with him
I smirked when I saw bullet points and yea silence feels amazing while he's holding you just enjoying the moment

[gmares85]

Bravo
You are 💯 % on the spot
your essay is a masterpiece
We man are different than you ladies, so please apply the advice giving by a woman

[AmandaYVR]

I read this and then drifted off into a peaceful sleep. So kind of you, thank you, gmares.
I totally agree. I wish both genders would stop thinking that different is inferior. Different is just different.

[Lize420]

Ofcourse what has been written tou have to take with a grain of salt not every guy is like tjat and not everyone woman is like that.

I feel like I'm more on the blue side and not on the pink

Maybe that's why I can't communicate with females 🤔

[AmandaYVR]

Correct, not every. I speak in majorities.

Yes, it does make it hard to be fully accepted by females if you are not on their same playing field/level. (Just ask the men.)

[Flower7]

Your MyTake was very well-written. But reading it depressed me a bit. It reminded me that trying to get along with guys can be frustrating. Things like this are why I've kinda given up on dating. It's a lot of work trying to figure them out.

[LVbrando85]

What is there to figure out lol? She wrote all of that to simply say "keep it simple and get to the point" all while being considerate of what he's currently engaging in.

[Flower7]

@LVbrando85 We'd have to figure out whether they feel like talking, whether they're in the right mood for it, what type of language to use to get them to pay attention, whether we're using the right tone of voice, etc. That seems like a lot!

[LVbrando85]

Most guys are practical and reasonable. So simply ask "hey, you have a sec? I want your opinion on something." And most will say yes if they aren't busy and tell you to hold on, if they are. The tone of voice isn't important as long as you dont have a history of being argumentative or come across that way. It should be smooth. I have a sister like that, and everything seems confrontational and she gets upset because thats how she talks lol. But yelling is still yelling.

[lnva87]

Its not that you have to be only one who is adjusting. It should go both ways.
There should be manual about this , one that from one end is for women and turn 180 and its same for men. Both should understand and try to meet half way most of times , and when other one has difficult time then is up to other one for while.

[LVbrando85]

Well that's very true, I do agree with that. But the part about men adjusting is just a given. We've always been adjusting. The narrative has always been, "We aren't mind readers. Stop making us guess and just communicate". BC ladies are famous for being upset about something that we are completely oblivious about. And they get even more upset bc we "should already know why" lol. This is honestly the first time I've seen anything close to giving us a voice in such a matter when it comes to communication. We adjust for "time of the month mood swings" and just behavior that we usually find irrational regularly in our opinions. But we do it because we absolutely adore you ladies lol.

[Sixgunsound]

Have you ever considered doing a speaking tour? Couples retreats?

[AmandaYVR]

Wow, really? Thank you so much. That is quite the acknowledgement. I'm humbled.
I might have made an okay counsellor, but I certainly wouldn't do well on stage. I really don't like being the centre of attention. I like one-on-one.

[Sixgunsound]

That’s fair. I don’t like the stage either, at least not being on it.

[BonjourSammi]

I see what you did there with that pretty guy, you are good at this lol. Anyways thanks a lot for this handy list. I'll keep it in mind moving onward with my future relationship (s).

[msc545]

Nicely done. In general, women inject too much noise into the signal, and trying to separate signal from noise is exhausting.

[AmandaYVR]

I love this analogy and phrasing. 👌

[TienShenhan]

This is great. It also reminds me of an article from the 30's or 40's that hilariously pisses feminists off, with content like "remember, when your husband gets off work, he doesn't want to hear about your day. He wants to relax at the table, read his paper, and enjoy a warm meal. His day was tough too." Paraphrasing there, but it was good stuff

[AmandaYVR]

Oh god. Well let's not go too far here.
I saw a meme about that once. It was funny, but I couldn't find it. Not to mention, the advertising of the day. Things have sure changed.
The whole martini slippers things sort of makes me want to wretch. Although I do make a gin and tonic for my husband often. And offer random xxxx jobs here and there. So I don't know, in all fairness maybe I'm a bit of a modern day one. Ew. No, I'd rather say "You rub my fur, I'll rub yours" (a play on the old euphemism, but this one I posted in my 'Cat From Outer Space' q about that.
I want the girls to know that I am not in favour of in any way being subservient to a man (or anyone - no power hierarchies at all in my view), but perhaps I could call it a bit of catering to the brain. Each other's brains. We can't make each other into the same, so let's work with what we have, sort of thing.

[TienShenhan]

Absolutely. And for the record, after a long hard day at work, I DO want to hear about your day and what stresses you out, because it's my job to make your life better too and you can't do that without listening

[AmandaYVR]

That is so nice 👍

[Snakeyes7]

This is probably just me or my previous experience with girls but I have a much harder time getting a read on how they are feeling than other guys. If I can’t get a good idea on how they are feeling, for some reason, my mind defaults to them being pissed off.

Maybe that’s why I never feel like telling jokes around them because I always assume they aren’t in the mood and would regret it.

[AmandaYVR]

I remember seeing a story once a couple of years ago or so, where a girl made up an 'exit survey' type thing, which she messaged to each guy she had dated or was in a relationship with. She had all these detailed questions, asking what they thought of her, in various ways. Talk about a real scientist or poller, eh? Of course some of the guys (well probably most of them) were very weirded out, but boy did she get some good intel on how she was coming across. Brave girl. She sounds a bit nuts, but I respect her for having the guts to learn about herself in this way.

[Snakeyes7]

I hear that is a good strategy to get tinder matches that haven’t responded in a week or so to talk to you but it still doesn’t work when I tried it years ago and on the rare times it does they don’t give anything useful like they were busy or something.

I’m not really sure what that has anything to do with my original response though.

[AmandaYVR]

Are you saying that Tinder has a survey option to give to the other person? Wow.

I wrote that because I don't know what else there is to say about your issue with not being able to get a read on girls and defaulting to the negative. Honestly. I thought about it. And you're not asking for my advice, are you? Many people on gag just like to talk, or vent, and aren't necessarily looking for a response it seems. But if you want to talk about it, we certainly can, either here or through pm.

[Snakeyes7]

No I just write that myself. I wish they have that option though maybe those who use it for validation would think twice before leaving their matches out to dry.

[Unit1]

I'm a man. money is my language.
but most importantly for me when pinks want to speak to me is to NOT YELL LIKE IT'S A SPORTS GAME YOU SIRENS! My ears are sensitive and I'm not going to risk any hearing losses (I'll leave that to my old aged self instead). Also nagging won't solve any problems, that is being nagged about.

wanna change something into better? Do something about it. Words are only as useful as coordination and planning.

[Unit1]

I'm not hard to understand - money is my language. So is logic. No beating around the bush.

[AppleBlueberry]

I'm a guy and I think I have portions of a girls brain because I like talking and listening. I wouldn't mind hearing her little details and the arguments she had with a coworker. So not all guys are this way, I guess I'm the minority.

[AmandaYVR]

That's good. You'll have a big advantage with relationships then.

[mrArcher]

I mean all I can say is that I wish more women were aware of this. Thank you, sis.

[AmandaYVR]

My pleasure. Happy to try and help you all be understood a little better.

[broken_heart_at_48]

That's on point and who wrote this a man or a woman and are you married? Shit never mind I am already married we could move to Utah. Hell that's the real answer cause then you two could talk to each other

[AmandaYVR]

Lolol. Thanks. I'm a woman and I wrote it. Yep, married, 20 years.
Started dating a little at 16, but mostly throughout my 20s, then married a few weeks before turning 29, and now with the same guy for 20 years.
My husband hasn't read it, nor have we talked about what I wrote. He's not really interested. But he certainly gets credit for going through the mud with me. These things took me years to figure out about men.

[broken_heart_at_48]

Yeah I fell in love with my wife the very second I laid eyes on her she hung in there with me through a lot of crazy times we had an amazing marriage for the first 23 years give or take we're still married but kinda separated right now we've been together close to 30 years she broke my heart but now she's deathly sick and I would give anything except my daughter for her to get better I truly wish I could take her pain she doesn't deserve this

[AmandaYVR]

Wow what a story. Relationships are complicated, aren’t they? It is an ntense thing, this thing we call simply ‘life.’ So much joy, so much heartache. The human experience. How can you even wrap your head around it.

[Adam1978]

Valid points except the focus one it's valid on both genders. Especially 10, why is it so hard to just be there without talking, just enjoy whatever is going on.

[admles]

This is an amazing take!

Like, I feel like you went into my brain and got all this information and wrote it out!

[it2ly]

These are assumptions bruh, Im a girl and I do all of these things.-.

[AmandaYVR]

These are not assumptions they are generalizations. If you do all these things then you should get along with them well and not run into this stumbling block as many girls do.

[OfDeath]

Lol. A little bit patronizing but there is some truth here.

[Richard-Tilburg]

I did not reed it out, too long... I use short text. Sometimes it takes a minute to get the text short.

[Stonernights]

So are you trying to say that men are actually just... humans too?

[JayParris]

There's an art to conversation which seems to be lost. Its more like a dance than a dissertation.