Why is he so inconsistent (...)?

[Anonymous]

So there is this guy who I talk to and for the most part I do like him. He's expressed that he likes me but he is SO flaky all the time. Like yesterday, I was supposed to see him and I didn't hear from him all day and today he claims that he forgot to pay his mom for the bill. Another time he claimed that he wanted to see me after he got off of work at 10pm just to say hi. He ended up getting off later and I told him just don't even bother trying anymore. He said why not and asked "you don't think I'm not mad that I couldn't see you either?" He said if he didn't want to see me, he wouldn't have mentioned it. Other times its "Oh I would see you but I'm so tired..." we live like 6 mins away, granite he does work a lot. After his little phone incident I told him there was always something with him. A few more things were said and he asked me what my problem was. I feel like he is too inconsistent and I do believe people do what they want to do. Basically if you wanted to see me then you would. However, he genuinely does get upset if I don't see that something really did come up but he really did want to see me. What will make him more consistent or try harder? I feel like that's the only thing thats lacking from him. Or should I just let him be and go about my own way? Every time he is supposed to see me "something" happens.

[Anonymous]

This sounds just like my situation but just reversed. I would be him in this situation and he would be you. He's usually always asking me when we'll meet up and see each other. The messed up part is literally every time he wants to see me and we make plans I cancel because something came up.

Its not intentional and no I'm not playing games with him and I do apologize and tell him what's going on. But he would just get mad and not text/call me back or you could just tell that when he did respond he was upset. I have to work everyday and I go to school. I take care if my sister that lives with my grandma. My parents aren't in the picture and I have 100+1 things to do if i have a day off. And honestly shit just happens.

And honestly doesn't sound like he's doing it intentionally. Its really up to you but in my opinion just give him a chance. Yeah he might always cancel but it doesn't seem like he's messing with you especially since he seems upset that he can't see you.

[Asker]

That was insightful, hearing things from the other way around. I like to think the best about people and that he has good intentions but it isn't coming off that way. I'm sure we'll talk about it though. Thanks for answering.

[Opinion Owner]

No need to thank me. Just kinda wanted to give my perspective. That's probably what he thinks about me. But yeah you're right talking it out could help better the situation a lot. Good luck

[Anonymous]

Ha, sounds like a guy I once knew. He's basically dying to see you but never shows and when you call him out on his inconsistencies he gets mad at you for even thinking that, promises to do better but when the time goes he does the same thing just on a different day. And he's the sweetest other wise, so the thought that he's not interested in you never even crossed your mind, right? Are you sure we didn't date the same guy? From my own experience, this "relationship" is going nowhere really fast! You guys live 6 minutes away, no guy is ever that tired, so that is not even a proper excuse! Trust me if he really wanted to see you not a damn thing on this earth could stop him from beating down your door. I can't say what he feels about you but I know he's definitely not into a relationship or committing to any one girl...

[Asker]

You described him perfectly. Thanks!

[Asker]

What did you end up saying to that guy? He asked me what my problem was, should I text him telling him my thoughts?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't remember exactly b/c it was years ago but I remember leaving for school and while there I confronted him, I told him I left, he got mad and promised to visit the next time I came home but never did. I just think its best to let him know how you feel about him being flaky and I can almost guarantee that if he is even remotely interested then he'll actually make the effort to see you to either prove you wrong or in hopes of not losing you but either way, he'll be there...

[Asker]

Ok, thanks. I'll let him know.

[1MickeyD15]

It kind of sounds like he is nervous to see you. He might need a little bit more pushing. It's either that or he is just toying with you.

[Asker]

Well he has seen me before so maybe its option B. I have no problem cutting things off and if this is too much for him, I'd rather him just tell me. When I do try and break things off he hits me with "I do wanna see you, why are you mad?, ..." So I don't know smh. Thanks for answering though.

[WesTheGuru]

Not every guy can revolve his life around you. It sounds like he's extremely stressed with paying bills late, having to work extra hours late and night, and his "phone incident.

I'll tell you right now, getting pissed at him for not seeing you is the last thing you should do. Respect that he has responsibilities, and maybe go see him instead of always making him come to you

[Asker]

Lol either you didn't fully read the question OR you're just that dumb. It has nothing to do with revolving his life around me. It just feels like he is playing games when he makes excuses. HE claims he want to see me and HE flakes. HE says HE wants to see ME..therefore he should be coming to me. However I do go see him, way to assume smh. Its funny how everyone else understood what I was saying but you...

[WesTheGuru]

You seem to have a temper... you're very defensive about the only answer that isn't what you wanted to hear. Think about how stressed he is before you make any judgements about his flakiness.

[Asker]

That's not true, you're the only one who gave an answer without looking at the facts and pretty much attacked me as if I was talking about you. "Not every guy can revolve their life around you." I wasn't asking him to. I just don't like having my time wasted, do you? If he really wants to see me, I need him to act like it and mean it. He is turning into the boy who cried wolf. Even if I do consider how stressed he is or might be, how many times is that excuse suppose to be ok before it becomes annoying or not even an excuse anymore?

[WesTheGuru]

how often do you see him on average and how often does he cancel?

[Clinkz]

Think about it like this. Do you *really* wanna be with a guy that flakes on you all the time?

[Asker]

Lol welp, I guess I have my answer.