Jocks, why do you fall for the quiet girl?

[Anonymous]

In high school, my friends and I weren't popular. We were quiet and smart. Didn't wear makeup. Three of my friends were liked by guys who were the jock type/really popular that would normally go for the pretty popular cheerleader type. So, guys, if you were the jock type in high school and were attracted to the unpopular girl, why were you? What did you like about her?

[beauch11]

Typically less BS!! I did the exact same thing in high school. A few of my friends couldn't understand what I liked about this girl and asked me why I invited her to my parties. I told them she is cool and you don't have to deal with all the pretentious crap that you deal with in the popular girls. They just tended to be more real, at least in my experience. But, I was little different in high school. Even though I was a four sport athlete in a small town (where you get treated differently by teachers and even the police), I thought you should be nice to everyone. Doesn't matter what people do or how they dressed. Just be nice. I'm glad I was that way and I will someday teach my kids to be the exact same way. Come to think of it a lot of my friends were that way too. Some weren't. The ones who asked about this girl weren't, but some of my friends never asked why, they just went along with it.

[Asker]

Thank you that was a very helpful answer! You sound like a really nice person :)

[beauch11]

I know when I was younger in high school, like freshman and sophomore year, I might not have been nice to everyone, but as I got older I think I just realized being nice and sticking up for others who couldn't for themselves was a better way to go. I've been that way ever since. You get what you give to others so hopefully karma is doing a good dance around me!!

[Davidd902]

well i wasn't a jock or anything but i like shy quiet girls because i think that they less intimidating, like a girl who is popular and talkative can be overwhelming to me. Plus i would be shy myself, being around another shy person would make me more at ease rather then a really talkative person. something about a shy and quiet girl is appealing but im not quite sure what it is

[favoritism356]

Guys usually like a girl with visual appeal. This doesn't even necessarily mean make-up. Make an effort. Do something cute with your hair, or wear some clothes that flatter your figure (conservative doesn't have to mean plain and shapeless). Guys appreciate a girl that takes some pride in her appearance. Shallow? Yeah, but it also suggests self-esteem (even if that's completely inaccurate) and a healthy sense of confidence.

[Asker]

and yet, these guys liked girls who were more conservative. so, I'm looking to understand that phenomenon.

[favoritism356]

Conservative can be good. Classy is attractive to a lot of guys. Sometimes it's just about expressing yourself through your appearance. If a girl has no style, a guy may wrongly interpret that as no personality.

[PrincessMaddy]

Haha so not true. I'm quiet, shy, and have very good grades. I don't wear make-up either. I think it depends on the jock. It's kind of rude to just generalize them.

[Asker]

wasn't trying to be rude, it is the stereotype and that's a fact, right or wrong.

[lordAlex818]

I'd definitely say you're friends were unusual, for several reasons. Usually popular guys only go for popular girls. So you're friends would have to be super hot. But being super hot and unpopular is uncommon as well.
So (at least in my experience) popular guys almost never go for the smart and unpopular girl. For teenage guys, there are no real attractive qualities that come with being reserved, and we don't give a damn about your intelligence either. Out chief concern is looks, and your friends would have been plentiful in that department.

[Asker]

well they are pretty, but not like super hot. so I'm stumped.

[lordAlex818]

Yep, me too. Maybe all the prettier girls were taken.

[Asker]

that's so shallow though, there has to be more to it than that.

[lordAlex818]

I think it's a plausible explanation. Teenage guys are extremely shallow, more so than you could ever know. And the pretty popular girls spend about 5% of their time single... so people have to have back-up options.

[Asker]

that may be true, but that doesn't mean it's not terrible

[lordAlex818]

Eh... it's not so bad if you look at it from our perspective lol.

[Asker]

it is that bad, sorry XD

[lordAlex818]

Lol it's not so bad for us. Males are less emotional creatures, and we often make calculated decisions about love. To a guy, it's unusual when you DONT have a back up plan (s).

[Asker]

makes the girl feel awful though and you are taking advantage of her. guys wouldn't like it if they were our back up plan

[Asker]

if a guy doesn't truly like a girl he should just stay single in my opinion

[lordAlex818]

But that's the thing, guys are often attracted to multiple girls at once. They simply prioritize based on how attracted they are to an individual. It would be illogical to us as well to date someone we aren't attracted to.

[UnknownXYZ]

A jock is someone who participates in sporting activity. Anything else is just annoying stereotypes. It's like that type of shit straight from TV.

To actually answer you question, have you ever considered the reasons why the "jock type" would go out with an 'unpopular' girl are the facts that he finds her attractive and likes her personality?

[Asker]

well, I am talking about the stereotype and I don't mean to be offensive about it. And yeah, it is like tv. And this thing that happened with my friends is kind of like what happens in the movies... unpopular girl meats popular guy. I know that anyone can end up with anyone, doesn't matter who they are in high school. I just want to know what an outgoing popular guy sees in a conservative girl. What are the reasons he likes HER opposed to another type of girl.

[UnknownXYZ]

So ask yourself why wouldn't a outgoing, popular guy go out with a conservative girl? What ever your reasons probably can be used to promote why a outgoing, popular guy would go out with a conservative girl.

[Asker]

ok.
It just all seems to good to be true, ya know?

[UnknownXYZ]

Why is it too good to be true? Isn't my answer a realistic one?

[Asker]

I think just because the unpopular girl often gets ignored by people in that clique. Maybe it's more the girls that judge them though, now that I think about it.

[UnknownXYZ]

'The unpopular girl often gets ignored by people in that clique.' I doubt it; unpopular girls generally choose to avoid attention, hence they act in a way which caters towards them being unpopular. No on ignores them because they are not striving for attention so there's nothing to ignore.

[Asker]

that's not true because I am an unpopular girl and some of the popular girls would make it known that they didn't like me. When we'd be in groups having to work together they would act like I wasn't there and tried to leave me out of things.

[UnknownXYZ]

"that's not true because I am an unpopular girl and some of the popular girls would make it known that they didn't like me. When we'd be in groups having to work together they would act like I wasn't there and tried to leave me out of things." So what you are telling me is that you strive to get attention from people but they don't like you for it?

[Asker]

Dude, I don't like the way you are subtly attacking me here, so you and I are done talking about this. Agree to disagree.

[UnknownXYZ]

I sincerely wasn't trying to attack you. Sorry if you felt that way. I asked you a question because I wanted to understand your situation more.

[Asker]

Sorry, I misunderstood! When you were putting my words in quotations I thought you were kind of mocking me, but I guess that wasn't the case. I'm really sorry! About your question, no I don't strive to get attention from people. All I wanted was to be respected and treated as an equal in that situation and those girls acted snobby and as if they were to good for me. Their body language was like eeeww you're here, we must keep enough distance so we don't get seen with you or our reputation is going to go down.

[UnknownXYZ]

Yeah, I know exactly what you about. That kind of behaviour by people annoy me. And no worries, it was just a misunderstanding. So, was there a social hierarchy in your high school?

[Asker]

oh definitely. I didn't mean to be rude my using the "jock term", but basically all the boys in the "popular group" played sports. They were all really outgoing, athletic, went to a lot of parties and got themselves into trouble. Not all of them got into trouble but the majority would party hard core and drink a lot. Same with the girls, the partying/drinking, outgoingness, and athletic. Two out of those three things aren't bad. What was bad was their attitude, they thought they were better than everyone else and their morals were not high at all. They did stupid things, they didn't use their brains, unfortunately.

[Asker]

is it not like this at your school?

[UnknownXYZ]

Not sixth form I go to, pretty much anyone and everyone got along with each other. At least, to my knowledge. There are friendship groups but there is no social hierarchy. However, secondary school is different story...

[Asker]

sixth form?

[UnknownXYZ]

It's a post-secondary school institution where you are in Year 12 and Year 13. The equivalent to America would be junior and senior years as compared to the UK. I'm from London specifically.

[Asker]

oh, I see. That's really good that your school doesn't have a social hierarchy, you're lucky. That would have been much better.

[UnknownXYZ]

I wouldn't say I'm lucky because it wouldn't affect me either way because I don't interact with people much anyway. What goes on socially amongst my peers is none of my concern.

[Phoenix98]

I wouldn't exactly call myself a jock I mean I played a lot of sports in highschool football, basketball, running and out of school martial arts. But I didn't run around in a letterman jacket or belong to a official team as for girls I went for the ones I wanted I didn't care wether they were popular or not.

[rthomas43]

I couldn't give two shits how popular or unpopular a girl was. I went after girls I liked, period.

[BigAh]

I don't think it matters what social group you're put in. Sometimes you like who you find attractive.

[Anonymous]

A quiet girl gets more respect than a loud girl sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Guys dont care how popular or unpopular you are.

[Asker]

I get that, but what qualities about the conservative girl does he like?

[Opinion Owner]

There is no set of preferences that all jocks have. Maybe some did your quietness. Maybe some just thought you were hot.

[Asker]

were you the jock type?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah

[Asker]

did you ever like a quiet girl?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah over half of the girls I liked were quiet

[Tassos]

Because quiet girls are the kinkiest in bed.

[Anonymous]

They were probably attractive