Why does my friends with benefits disappear then come back any in sight anyone?

[Anonymous]

I have known this guy for 8 years and we have been friends with benefits on and off for 5 years well its a weird situation we will see each other for a few months and then just stop talkin then a few months later we will start again this last time it was my fault we stopped talkin he started getting to close tryin to cuddle and he told me that he missed me well its been 10 months since I have talked to him and I seen him at the gas station a few weeks ago and we smiled at each other and said hi and nothin more was said well he messaged me last week out of no where wanting to hook back up but I wouldn't now he text me on a regular basis why does he keep coming back any in sight would help

Updates

+1 y

Some one please any advice

[coolbreeze]

I think he keeps coming back because their is no ground rules in place and because this has been the routine you and him have been doing for a while. I also feel maybe he was getting attached if he wants to cuddle, and get close. I also feel since it's a fwb's you both have the option to date other people since it's almost like an open relationship. Im assuming he could be dating other girls. But he always seems to come back to you to hook up with.

[Asker]

It's weird we will be together for a few months and then just stop talkin then a few months later he is calling again the longest we have went with out eachother is the past 10 months when I was in a relationship and some how he was keeping tabs on it cuz he text me the day after my ex broke up with me

[coolbreeze]

Wow that is crazy if he is keeping tabs if your in a relationship or not. Yeah he does have a bad habit or talking then disappearing. It seems if you guys been fwb's for so long that im surprised that a relationships haven't came from it yet. I can tell he must enjoy having sex with you because he keeps coming back. Maybe a part of him tries to fight his feelings for you and that could be what makes him run away.

[Asker]

When he runs away he just drops of the face of the earth so to speak blocks me on all social media don't respond to text or calls and then just reappears a few months later

[coolbreeze]

Wow that is insane he does all of that when he disappears. But now he acts like everything is cool again. That took a lot of guts for him to ask you to hook up again. I think he probably was dating another girl then things didn't work out and he wanted to hook back up with you since your single. He saw an opportunity and try to take advantage of it. I don't think it's right that he dissapeared like that. He could had at least try to say hi every once in a while.

[Asker]

I don't know I guess after 5 years I can pretty much tell when he is fixin to disappear and I can tell when he is gonna come back I don't know its weird I just don't understand him

[coolbreeze]

Yes his behavior and the way how he disappears and reappears is very weird. And how he randomly appears back in your life is weird to. It's like I don't know what he is going to do when you eventually settle with a guy. Then I think he will be crushed and wouldn't like it.

[Asker]

I don't know but he has had his chance if he wanted something more and he didn't act on it

[coolbreeze]

So he did have a chance to want something more with you? I think he figures if you guys been hooking up for so long that it's almost like being in a uncommitted relationship in a way. It's almost like you guys were a couple without the label. I think he is afraid of commitment and that could had been part of the reason why he didn't want to fully commit. Also he had a good thing going sex wise. I don't think most guys wouldn't want to mess that up. But their would come a point where one person out of it will want more eventually. It always happens. So that is why normally fwb's don't last long because somebody gets attached more and wants to be serious.

[Asker]

Thank you so much

[coolbreeze]

You are very welcome. Thank you for selecting my answer as the most helpful.

[Roarke]

umm... wild stab here.

He runs out of booty, gets horny, then comes back to you because, like a convenience store you're pretty much open 24/7?

[Asker]

Umm no cuz there is a lot when he gets turned down

[Roarke]

well heck, even 7-11 closes down for cleaning once in while.

[Roarke]

And by the way, him getting turned down pretty much explains the 10-month gap and all that. Not worth the 'petrol' if you ain't gonna get any.

[Asker]

The 10 month gap was my doing he still tried for a few weeks after I told him no more