Do men find single moms attractive?

[Anonymous]

I am curious about how men feel about single moms? I am talking about a woman who has a baby/kid and works full-time or goes to school. A woman not on public assistance or taking handouts from their child's father. A woman who really has taken responsibility for, and loves their, kid.

All I have heard about single moms are negative things. Like sluts, gold-diggers, loose, whores, etc.

I am 3 months pregnant and I will be a single mother. The relationship with my child's father was short-lived and if he is in the picture at all - it will be to father his kid.

**Save all of your comments about sex before marriage, protection, or celibacy. I'm not looking to get bashed**

[confused4231]

I think any woman can be attractive regardless of whether or not she has children. I think your question should be more along the lines of do guys want a relationship with single mother or something like that. Mom or not, I think guys look at qualities they value in a woman and is she meets them I dont think the fact that she has a child would stop him from perusing her.
At the same time not all guys want or are looking a woman with a child, I think it just depends on what they value and the importance they place on that situation. I do think that it would easier if the child's dad isn't involved. But I think women also have to remember that they can't push or expect too much of a guy who isn't their father they have to know that it will take time for him to be comfortable.
In my personal experience, I just got out of dating a single mother. Things were great, yes the childs father was involved but all of a sudden he started threatening me, saying he was going to kick my ass if he ever saw me. Started calling my ex names (bitch, cunt, slut, you name it). Telling her she's an unfit mother that he's going to take her to court etc. When that starts happening its not just the mom that has to deal with it its the guy too, you can't bring that stuff up and then tell him to stay silent to do do nothing.
I miss her to death, we hardly ever argued but one of the biggest arguments we did have was when her daughter told me to shut up... my ex said "I wish you wouldn't let her talk to you like that" Im say (weve been living together for 3 months at that time) Im not her father what do you want me to say? Maybe down the road or if we ever get married I will but right now Im not comfortable (especially with her dad creating all the drama on the side).
I'll just say give a guy time... to become comfortable and if you tell him to be more involved or help w/ discipline then make sure you mean it dont get mad at him after the fact.

[confused4231]

I wish things would have worked out with my ex. Sometimes I still hope that down the road she'll give me another shot. If you have those qualities; being a hard worker, going to school, responsible, etc dont worry about what other people think.
You will find a guy that is attracted to you and that will want to be a part of not only your life but the life of your child as well.
Keep your head up and dont over think things. Just think about what you want to do for you and your child right now and the rest will fall into place.
I wish you well. Keep your head up. Smile and be Happy.

[Marinepilot]

I don't find single mothers at all attractive for many reasons, First, I'm not playing #2 to anything or anyone. Especially a kid who isn't mine. I'm not going to put up with a psychotic ex, no way Jose", I'm not going to tolerate the woman taking it out on me when her ex pisses her off. Fuck that shit ! I don't need it. When kids get older and disrespectful, "You can't tell me what to, you're not my father ! " That's when their things get packed, father called to come get them and they are gone from my life forever. No
way I'm going to be disrespected by any kid, Especially one who isn't mine. Perhaps I've been harsh. I dated three single mothers and each one was a train wreck. I can NEVER open my heart up to a single mother ever again. If that makes me a bad person and selfish, then so be it.

[Kjllacam]

@Marinepilot im 29 ans dating my 2nd single mom. Of course i wish the person im dating didn't have a child but then she wouldn't have the qualities i love. Im successful for my age i own a nice home with 40 percent equity. 4 vehichles w titles and a great job. Financially im ready so i can focus on a relationship. Im not dating girls living at hone w mom and a bunch of drama. My girl rents her own place woeks 2 jobs school w full custody. She is beautiful tough ambitious loyal ans feminine. I love single moms that are doing it on their own she doesn't need help but i want her to have securtiy with me. This is a beautiful women thst cuts a quarter acre w a pushmower a summer. She is soo hot. One day immaa marry dat girl.-kid rock (joe dirt). Not all single mothers are equal and dont lower your standards. Just be the best mom you can and you will attract succesful well put together men everyone has preferences but a kid won't scare away a mature man.

[Theguyoverthere]

I have tried really to give single moms a chance. I really have. Only like 1-2 really have their head on straight. The rest have had way too much baggage for me and we didn't even get near the kid yet.

So basically, you'll have to make a huge effort to separate yourself from the rest. I've talked to some online and they'd immediately rant about their ex and how they were gonna use the court to screw him over and make him pay child support and such. One was drunk on the phone telling me all this so I then got suspicious after 2 phone calls as to if she was an alcoholic or not.

If you want to safely date as a single mom, I'll share some suggestions. Take it or leave it.
1. Don't talk about your kid at all for the first few months and stay loyal to your scheduled dates. If you keep canceling, the guy will move on.

2. Do not talk about your ex at all and what is going on with you two. If the guy asks, it's nothing more than shared custody that you get into. It's all in the past. Do not vent to him. You'll chase him away.

3. Don't invite the guy over, at least in front of your kid. Any sane mother knows the damage this causes to their children. It's sad this needs to be pointed out but it is true.

I do know one girl who is taking handouts and all that, those types are extremely easy to spot because they feel society owes them every handout and more.

[Anonymous]

Your average guy is going to find a single mother overwhelming. No offense, but generally guys are not excited by the thought of raising another man's seed. While many single mothers will insist they are independent and are not looking for a father figure for their child: it is simply pure BS. A child is forever apart of a mother, even in death. Eventually at some point and time the mother is ideally going to want a man who will make a good father figure for her child. Lets just be real: All children desire a father figure. Yes, some of them who grow up without one will turn out just fine however it's a lie if they say they never longed for a healthy fatherly presence at some point. It's a very natural instinct in human beings. A single mother will sense this and may feel bad/want to provide that for her child.

So basically, most guys are not trying to play daddy to a child they didn't create. Guys use condoms and urge the girl to use birth control so that situations like this can be avoided. It kinda defeats the purpose ot walk into that situation anyway.

[Asker]

I don't agree with that at all. I'm not looking for a father for my child. My child has a father and that will never change and I am not looking for anyone to help assist in raising my kid or play daddy to a kid that isn't his. Yes, some women follow this mentality and hope that a man will come along to save their kid; however, not all women are like that. Just because you hope to find someone to have a relationship with doesn't mean that you expect them to raise your kid. In fact that is very confusing for a child and you're basically saying that a single mom hopes to trap a single man into being a father.

[Opinion Owner]

So you are saying that if you meet a man and you two fall in love, he gives you the world, cherishes you , and adores you; you will be perfectly okay with him not not treating your child like his own? -_- Not pitching in for bday or Christmas festivities or simply treating you like a wife and your kid like a distant relative of yours? Sure.
No, I didn't basically say single moms just want to trap other men. That was your unintelligent interpetation.

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly, you should have never fooled around and got pregnant by a man whom you knew would be temporary in your life because now you have complicated things for everyone. You've complicated things for yourself in terms of dating, the future guy you'll date in terms of what's acceptable if your child is a brat, the father of the child who may be put in an awkward situation when you start dating and there's another man around his child, and most of all: the child who may get cheated out of a father figure experience because his/her mommy made a stupid choice.

[ArchDruidMordred]

When I hear "single mom" the following story plays out in my head:

There is a girl in high school and she was attracted to the popular players and she treated smart and good guys like crap because they weren't cool enough. She gets a boyfriend. Years later she has a kid and is pregnant due to her boyfriend chewing her up and spitting her out. Guess who she's going after now? THE EXACT GUYS SHE SHUNNED IN HIGH SCHOOL!! Really single moms? You treated us the way you did all those years and you expect those same guys to accept you? The sad part is they aren't going after those guys for a relationship they just want someone to help look after their damn kids. See what I mean?

[Asker]

I'm sorry for that experience and I agree that there are women out there like that. At the same time, when people are young they make mistakes and as they get older they change. I know that sounds cliche, but it's true. Sometimes it takes a life event to make someone realize their choices have been wrong and that they deserve better. It is sad. You know what is even more sad, is that girl who went after the guys who treated her bad, probably didn't think she could do any better. She probably thought those dirtbags were all she could get and now she's left with a reminder of them for the rest of her life.

[ArchDruidMordred]

You make a good point, but go after us for who we are as well as are skills as fathers not just for the latter.

[Anonymous]

The only thing that would put me off dating a single mother at my age is if she told me she would never have another baby. If she is willing to at least give me one child of my own I'd happily make all the moves to fall in love with her and look after her and her current children.

[confused4231]

Same here as long as she's not closed off about having any more children It wouldn't matter.

[InquisitiveMale]

A woman can be attractive no matter her situation, but most men who want children, they'd rather have one of their own. And those who don't want children will certainly not want one belonging to another man.

There are guys out there, but your selection pool is drastically small, smaller if you want someone who will actually be a good role model for your son/daughter.

[zerrozero7]

generally no for men with no kids. it goes back to ancient times when people had to be sure of the paternity of the kids. which is why men generally prefer virgins in many cultures. If the man is looking for a maternal figure and is a single father (there is a difference between single father and a man who just has kids, him having custody is a big one), then sure.

[riskysweet]

I love single moms. There is nothing wrong with being a single mom

[Humping_Tornadoes]

Sure, I can find you physically attractive but I wouldn't consider anything serious. At least not at this point in life, I don't know if I will ever change my mind later on.

[Nerdvana]

First don't say slut and whore like it's a bad thing, but yes I find single moms very attractive.

[sweetjoker]

well sometimes single moms can be very attractive if they tell the truth in the first date and doesn't lie to the new bf. find someone with same things that you and him can in join.

[AshBrown]

Of course, my answer was removed.

[AshBrown]

No... I see it.

[AshBrown]

My stupid phone playing tricks with me.