Are single moms less attractive?

Question

I am a single mom... recently started dating again after a horrifying divorce. It seems like my career is flourishing and my sex life is none existent.

I am not quite sure if its my lack of energy in trying or that I am just not as sexy... It was so much easier to land a date (or even be asked).

Now don't get me wrong... I am in better physical and emotional shape than previously and the guys who stand no chance have no problem asking...

Can anyone shed some light on this?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I had a relationship with a single mom my age ... we started our relationship at 28 ... we ar enot togeather now .. at 33.

BUT ... our relationship didn't end because she was a mom... I must say ... she was the sweetest , loving caring person I ever met . I still think of her every day ... sometimes can't imagine living without knowing her ... her daughter wa a pride for any man to call her his daughter... her daughter was smart .. gifted ... confident ... funny...

When one is dating a single mom... yes .. somethings might need consideration.. but every relationship need consideration ... me personaly I fealt family ... I gave love and got love back .

The reason why it ended is not because she was a mom ... but any way ...

There are great girls and women out there... and they shine and glow even when they are more mature. Like in arly 30s. If you feel a spark , then I think one can be in for something very beautiful. She was 33 single mom .. but she could be hopping around and having fun and joyful as a 20 year old!

A guy who has been with an amazing single mom.

funnyjoke · Accepted Answer

You are at the age when you are going to have to start approaching guys you want.  Sorry to say but the balance of power shifts at around 30.  Unattached, attractive, financially sound men are a very hot commodity.  Your best day's physically are in the past, even moreso since you have a kid,  and that will be seen as additional emotional/financial baggage to a man.  You are going to have to work very to find and attract a decent guy.  Don't expect a guy to come to you and sweep you off your feet.  Sorry to say, there's not a very good chance it will happen.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I realize I'm late in answering this question, but this is ridiculous. You are not damaged goods because you're divorced with a child or children. You need to get some confidence, you are only as good as you think you are. If a guy isn't interested in you because you're a single mom than so be it, that's their choice. I have 3 kids and I'm going through a divorce and I promise there is not a shortage of guys that are willing to pursue me and date me (and I'm not a one night stand or easy type of woman). Many of the guys my age (28-36) have kids or have at least been divorced anyway, they come with their own baggage. The only thing harder I find now is meeting female friends to do things with as most are all settled down by now.

You will eventually find someone, I know lots of women who had kids and even married men with no kids. It happens a lot. It just depends on the person and I can assure you that they were not the ones out there pursuing men. I have not ever pursued some man and they're all around!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I just wanted to add something in response 'funnyjoke' who said that ' Your best day's physically are in the past, even moreso since you have a kid, and that will be seen as additional emotional/financial baggage to a man. You are going to have to work very to find and attract a decent guy. Don't expect a guy to come to you and sweep you off your feet.'

I am a single mom and my best days are not over. I have been in a loving and caring relationship that I didn't have to work hard to get. I have only one child and she is in her early 20's. I have always been told I look younger than my age. I met my boyfriend when I wasn't even looking for a man in my life and 4 years on we are still together. He did sweep me off my feet.

I just had to write this even though it says 20 days ago, he just annoyed me when I seen the best answer. The thing is you are in your prime and you . As a single mom you are not less attractive and children should never be seen as baggage.

SpoonFire · Accepted Answer

I find myself wondering if I will ever be able to find a partner now that I am single and 3 months pregnant. But I think the question being asked is very dependent on many things. Like, how attractive were you in the first place? Do you work out and eat a healthy diet? Are you ugly on the inside? Being attractive on the inside/out doesn't necessarily make finding a healthy relationship easy for anyone, single parent or not. Being attractive and finding a partner are not the same thing. Many psychological factors play a role. If you're emotionally unavailable and in the best shape of your life with amazing hair and teeth that is a good start but all aspects of you should be open to love if that's what you seek.

mz4568 · Answer

Truthfully: Yes.

No guy wants to date anyone with baggage. Guys want to be with a woman that will have their children and no ones else's.

I wouldn't be comfortable settling down with a woman who had kids and I didn't. The only case I could see myself being with a single mom is if I were a single dad.

Also, you have the issue of the other guy being around as he's the kid's father which could possibly lead to him trying to get the woman back, or those "weak" moments of hooking up with your ex. No guy wants these kinds of headaches is what I'm saying... especially a single guy.

Anonymous · Answer

Being single and never married, it would be very very unlikely that I would even consider dating a single divorced mother.  Maybe if I knew the girl for a long time and knew her well I'd consider dating her, but if I was just approaching random women I thought were cute, I wouldn't even consider asking them out if I knew they were a single mom.  I had a friend who is a single mom (never married) who wanted to date me, but I just don't want the baggage.

smallbrownman · Answer

I think stereotypically single moms are more attractive (in my book at least). I'm not talking about all single moms but the ones who go with their impulses and end up having a child, and then can't take care of themselves. They're so helpless and cute :) They're usually hot too.

As for you, I think you need to "bring sexy back".

superuss · Answer

Most men don't want to take care of another persons kids. The over all value of a person goes down, in the dating market if kids are part of the deal. The good news is a lot of good men who saw you as being out of their league before, will now see an opportunity to prove themselves in your eyes. These men normally have a lower overall value on the dating market than what you may be use to. You may need to date a guy with a few extra pounds on him for example. But many of them are very good men who will show you the respect you deserve. They have just been overlooked until now. Single dads have it the worst in my opinion. Its not uncommon for women with kids to refuse to date a man with kids of his own. So you may consider a single dad as well.

Anonymous · Answer

Women go through that "mammal" stage in their lives, and it does make them sex bombs. No seriously, a mothers hormones make moms really sexy and beautiful, let alone that moms breasts are always bigger. The moms themselves are fine, its those little demons who we do fear sometimes, if they were of a certain age it could be a problem, but if they were so young or so old (teens or near 18 or older) then it's fine. I would certainly date a single mom if she was what I'm looking for.

snackeyg · Answer

Nope they aren't. I used to think that but now that I've gotten older I don't really see a problem as long as the father doesn't get in the way of our relationship. Also for a bonus MILF's are awesome. :P

zinithin · Answer

Having a kid does not make you less attractive. It does however make you less desirable for a relationship. The men who are asking you out that "stand no chance" see themselves having a chance because you have a kid. Attractiveness is just one quality that affects desirability.
I know this is shallow but think of it this way. If you're a ten in the looks department, but have a kid then you might be a 7 when accounting for everything. You'll likely only attract 7s or lower in the opposite sex.

BDub89 · Answer

I'm still in college, so dating a girl with a kid-- no matter how perfect she is-- would just plain old not work.  If I was older (like 30s), I probably wouldn't have to much of a problem with it.  I will admit, I have fantasized about older women, with or without kids

chiefnavarro · Answer

i wouldn't be with a women that's has a kid or who was every married or had long term relationships or slept with many men. what do they all have in common, they all fall under the term baggage. A child is big baggage and since men can go younger then their really is no point to date a women with a kid. its not a good deal for me.

Anonymous · Answer

Um you seem to be the one with the problem. You need to reconsider the types of guys you are rejecting and also be more open minded just like you are expecting your potential dates to be.  I am a single mom and have no prob finding cute guys who love that I can take care of a kid so amazingly well and I look so hot doing it! See how confidence works ? You and your of are not the problem , but don't make it a problem I'n your head. I have found single dads to be easy more understanding than single guys who view children as baggage because they don't have the experience to know that kids are funny and not a drawback. I am not interested I'n any guy who doesn't have the life experience or the desire to go swimming with me and my girl sometimes , as well as hot dates when I get a sitter. But don't push your daughter or son onto people either. I think after a few months of dating you can try to introduce them but they must see you as a sexy woman first and mom secondly .

Xenophobia · Answer

Alot of guys don't want to settle down just yet.  Some do, some don't.   Having a kid doesn't make it any easier.

katiesmuff · Answer

Well I hope things have improved over the last five months for you with the dating issue.  I am a single mom myself and have no problem with dating.  Good guys don't factor that in when asking a woman for a date.

rocksongwriter · Answer

"and the guys who stand no chance have no problem asking..." Maybe you should give them a chance.  Beggers can't be choosers.

Media · Answer

You are as attractive as you think you are. End of story.

Anonymous · Answer

Its a package deal, the child comes with you and all the responsility and the obligations, lose of freedom etc...

BenWebster84 · Answer

Hell no! I like moms! lol

Uno666 · Answer

Baggage nothing but baggage! No man wants someone else's mistake! We want spontaneous and fun not a mother hen..

Anonymous · Answer

No way! I don't think so.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes.

Are single moms less attractive?

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