Are single men who have children attractive to single women?

Question

Ozanne · Accepted Answer

It's not so much the man to take into consideration, but the children themselves and their mother. A man has to be irresistible to take on what is potentially a lot of work instantly.

If I had to go back in time and do it all over again, I would look for some warning signs about single fathers.

1. Get to know immediately the custody arrangement. If it's 50/50, already that's a good sign. It tells me that a judge found that he very capable to have the child around this much. If it's 100%, something is seriously wrong with his ex. For a woman to just write off her kids or not be capable of caring for them is a big problem, and know that you'll be in for drama. Maybe not right away, but it will happen at some point. If the custody has the father with limited visitation, again, that's a problem too, because as I mentioned, every guy is going to proclaim he's the best dad ever. So what was the issue when awarding custody? He either isn't, or he happily has arranged to see his child less often. There better be good reasons why he only sees them on weekends, and when he does, watch if he is devoted to them that entire time. If he skips on them just to date you -- sorry, that's a problem. He is already prioritizing sex for the few times to see his children. Not good.

2. Listen and look for how he talks about his ex, especially as a mother. Bad-mouthing, blaming, and dredging up old stories about how awful she is, to me is just terrible. This is the mother of his children he's talking about, and if he is that bitter that he can't separate the relationship between man and woman, to mother and child, that's a problem. It shows he's not working with her but against her, and that's damaging for the children, who are not interested in taking sides especially if they're young. They'll likely love their mom, despite what their dad thinks of her. Look for clues if he wishes you were the sole woman in his kids' lives. This is also unfair to a woman who had children with him. She'd have to be in jail for being a crack whore if this were the case, and if so, what was your irresistible guy ever doing with a woman with such shitty qualities?

3. Find out what you're in for with the ex and the children. If you're intuitive enough and are willing to meet them, find out who they are so you can get an idea of who you're dealing with. This may not happen right away, but ask questions and see if your irresistible single dad is going to have honest answers. Ask what grade the children are in and how they're doing in school. What does the ex do for a living. Ask what the children like to do for fun. Then upon meeting them, check your answers. If the children are failing in school when your irresistible single dad said they were doing brilliantly, that's a problem. If he says his ex is not working and lazy, when she absolutely is working, shows that he is doing what he can to downplay her importance. This isn't a competition between you and her for his affections. You should know if the woman of his children is doing her best to be providing.

4. And this is probably the MOST important. Check the man's surroundings for having the child at his home. Does the child have a bedroom or not? (They should.) If the child has no actual place to play and sleep on their own, the father has got it wrong. If he claims that it's okay, the child sleeps with him -- BIG problem. Children should not be sleeping with their parents! It's one thing to comfort them in bed, and wean them away, but to have a long-standing arrangement where they sleep together is terrible. His excuse why will not be a good one. That's just bad parenting.

If there is a bedroom, check for what is normal for the child. If it's stuffed with toys and gadgets, giving them absolutely everything that is to the point where it's senseless spoiling, it shows that he is not viewing parenting as what he can be as a dad, but the things he can give as gifts for the child. Especially when the stuff has to stay at his place and not go to his ex's house. That shows that he intends to be the favourite parent, and that's being unfair. Usually single parents are bitter enough to try to impress their child to the point of wanting to favour them, but that's NOT healthy. They need to be equal in bringing them up, disciplining, caring for, and teaching them. A bedroom full of computers, music equipment, toys, and the best of everything is ridiculous. Usually it's a father saying, "I want my kids to have what I didn't have." That's bogus. If they think this way, they should buy these things for themselves, and allow their children to learn the value of earning something, at an age-appropriate time.

If the bedroom is empty and cold, without a single thing in there for a child to enjoy, also a big problem, for obvious reasons.

In the end, a woman's choice to date a single father will be like how it starts with all men. Attraction first, hear all the beautiful things he has to say, and go from there. Just tread lightly when you make the commitment to be the potential step-mom, and know your role is to be just that, and not to compete with the ex for her role as mother, and to respect the fact that when you make decisions, the children must be considered and in most cases (not all), come first.

mandyfire98 · Accepted Answer

Sure. Especially if they are good fathers.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

Sorry, but no. But only because I'm not interested in or want kids, much less sharing a potential partner with some rugrats.

Most women might see a single father as attractive because he seems so great taking care of his kids, meaning he's [ideal] a good man and provider-

He should be that way, child or not. Plus you don't know why he's single- he can be a great father, but terrible partner!

I'd be attracted to him if he had older kids (18 or older) because they wouldn't be as reliant on him.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

I briefly dated a single man who had a daughter, he was no less attractive to me than a single childless man would be

Actually I was thinking we’d find more things in common as he must have been more experienced.

But I got disappointed because it was mainly sex he was after.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I like kids but I don’t like baba mama drama and I have difficulty trusting a guy that abandoned the mother of his kids, if she was abusive, he should have known better then to marry her. Most people with issues come with early red flags and if you ignore them, your a poor chooser.

DizzyDesii · Answer

Yea im emotionally attracted to this single dad and his daughter is even crazy about me. But I’m not physically attracted to him. Too bad cause he's a great guy and i can tell he wants something between us. I hang with he and his daughter near daily but i tried to friendzone myself. He keeps mentioning that I’m a great motherly figure for her and that he's into me but i told him I unfortunately just dont see any chemistry. Now he's trying to force it but i’m interested in someone else though I still adore them both

Rei13 · Answer

If a man is already a parent it makes him less attractive. If I had my own children I would probably feel differently. I want to be able to create a family with my partner and experience all those firsts together. I don’t even know how to be in that role and it wouldn’t be something we learned together. You also run the risk of bonding with his children and then if you break up you’d be losing that relationship as well. If I liked the man enough and saw a future I might be able to work with it, but it still wouldn’t be my first choice

sage2021 · Answer

Sometimes a guy who has children, the children are the best part of the relationship.
I dated two different guys that had two boys each. I loved them like they were mine as well.
So, when the relationship would end, it was the kids I missed most. 🤷🏼‍♀️

LazerBean · Answer

Not unless he's a widow. Otherwise he's just a huge failure.

AnnaSorokin · Answer

It depends on whether the man is responsible. Children are what everyone likes and wants to have.

Anonymous · Answer

This is feast or famine coach she's either really into it or she despises it. I really depends on who she is.

msc545 · Answer

No, of course they aren't. No woman wants to share the money with a child.

Likes2drive · Answer

Maybe to some women but not usually, I’m a single dad but my kids are in their 20s and on their own, I don’t see them very often because most of them live out of state, I feel like I’m in limbo because of my age now

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

I would rather not date someone who already has a child.

whirled_up_girl · Answer

Yeah, to me they are.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

In comparison to single moms yes they are

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

OF COURSE NOT

Anonymous · Answer

Hell no

Minahh · Answer

Not to me

Anonymous · Answer

Absolutely not.

SeaStorm1 · Answer

Nope not me

Are single men who have children attractive to single women?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Are single men who have children attractive to single women?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.