Why are men so mean and rude to women who are kind and nice?

Question

men are always mean to me, rude to me. almost ALWAYS. even just interacting with men.. they treat me like crap are weird stupid. its an extreme now. I go on dates, and males will insult put me down harass me. one guy was rude and I asked him in the end through text why he was so weird towards me.. he said.. SORRY NERVOUS TICK.. i didn't know you'd be so good looking.. i got NERVOUS. I didn't buy that. he never talked to me again regardless. im a beautiful female.. kind and sweet.. nice. I have respect, im educated, fun, good personality. Most guys should really be like.. wow.. she's great, nope instead they abuse the crap out of me. one date even said "you're really hot, and u seem amazing." and he ditched me when we went into a restaurant to get something to go. most of these males are yes crazy weird rude, but what is wrong with males today?

im always going on dates, meeting guys who treat me like crap. I have a great personality--they don't, for the people who want to put me down. they act rude weird dumb. Woudlnt they appreciate meeting a pretty woman who is nice and sweet and not a b*tch? people tell me well most of them are wondering why YOU would meet them, but that doesn't explain their bad treatment towards me. even an old man harassed me days ago--he was ugly, weird dumb, rude.. hanging out with a young pretty girl? and he calls me weird after being rude to me and getting in my space like crazy... yesterday a friends male friend got rude with me too out of the blue he began acting weird towards me. guys will meet me to go to Disney, same thing.. they treat me like im weird, put me down... im a former model.. gorgeous nice and just nice... which bothers me. Why do they even treat me as if im inferior, sub human almost. most of them stare at me in shock and begin acting crazy... no joke they treat me like im an insect or something. again I am gorgeous and sweet.. and friendly... its frustrating and makes me wonder what is wrong with the male gender today

Jessica1810 · Accepted Answer

CasualFriday is right, and should get Best Answer.

I am a girl with the identical problem to you. I'm very good looking and initially could literally pull any guy I wanted, but then they actually begin rude and mean.

Not ALL men are arseholes, anywhere. You do seem to be picking them subconsciously. I got abused by my dad and so subconsciously I am drawn to assholes. However, as I am smart I don't really want to date them and know I'm too good for them. You seem to know this too.

These guys sense this attitude in you and that makes them angry and aggressive at you. But they can also sense that you're quite attracted to them and vulnerable so they kind of see you as "fair game" and prey on it. (Deep down they hate themselves and they know you're assessment of them is right, but they'd rather just hate on you than try to change themselves).

They exploit you because of the fact that they know you're sweet in that you're not really on the very assertive side - even if you say you're confident - you need more than that in today's trolling/malicious world.

To deal with these kind of people, you have to be BALLSY.

See, these kind of men want the #1 trait in women of not taking any shit from them.

You should try to be more assertive, but not for them, because more importantly GOOD MEN DONT ACT LIKE THIS WITH ANY GIRL AND THERE ARE GOOD MEN OUT THERE.

I don't want you to waste your life on dicks any more than I want to continue to waste mine.

I'm seeking therapy to deal with my parental issues and progressing in my life through bettering my education etc and therefore deal with higher quality people.

fabulouslyme · Accepted Answer

People treat you the way they do because THEY CAN. Don't put up with it! We teach people how to treat us. And it has been said that people who EXPECT the best will very often GET IT becuz they dont settle for anything less! So stop settling and LETTING people treat you so badly. STOP BEING SO NICE if you have to. I also agree with 'pavlove' when he said you gravitate towards selecting the men who are going to treat you bad because that is what you expect for yourself. Its THE SECRET LAW OF ATTRACTION (look it up and see what it means). You are unconsciously inviting such "mean" types of men to you and you then choose them and think theyre going to be different. For instance if I keep getting bit by snakes, then I should STOP picking them up if I don't wanna be bitten! You need to stop selecting men that treat you like shit. Its hard to tell I know but its really not that hard. Unless your dating complete and total strangers then you have some idea what theyre like. Be more selective and maybe get to know them better before dating more importantly STOP expecting them to treat you bad! Expect just the opposite!! Expect that they treat you well or don't waste another minute of time on them. Tell them to fuck off or punch them in the face. THAT will teach them, lol! Just don't do it around any witness or you may end up with an assault charge. But hey, at least no one will mess with ya! ;D

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Guys are into double standards. They want to be with the good looking nice girl but want women not to care how they look or act. Not all guys are like that, but a lot of them are.

However there are plenty guys who are AMAZING AND AMAZINGLY GOOD LOOKING!!! In my opinion, good looking nice girls should stick with good looking nice guys. There are Brad Pitt and Ian Somerhalder types out there.

Your self esteem may be a bit low like mine used to be and you're probably settling for less than what you deserve like I used to. No more!!! God showed me who I am (and I look like Vanessa Lynn Williams-Miss America BTW) and what I deserve. Not bragging, just being honest.

Now that I finally know who I am, I NEVER and REFUSE to settle for the opposite of what I desire in a guy looks and character wise. Brad Pitt and Ian Somerhalder are totally my type and that's what I stick to! You do the same. Have a type and STICK TO IT because you ARE THE BEST and you deserve the BEST OF THE BEST!!! God Bless! :)

dreamchasa2526 · Accepted Answer

Hello Anyonmous :)
I absolutely feel your frustration , I myself have had so many issues with dating. And I can't lie having so many negative experiences with men can really begin to lower your confidence. But I have learned in recent time that we as beautiful attractive valuable women can't allow that to consume our reality of who we know we are. I know your feelings are hurt trust me mine are too, I was really attracted to this guy for such a long while and I actually was blessed with the opportunity to meet him in person. GUESS WHAT !!! .. he was absolutely nothing like I thought he would be , and that broke my heart. I'm still taking the time to get over that. But just like your learning to realize I am also trying to tell myself its not me its them and their lack of love for themselves.

no_bs · Accepted Answer

Let me bring the elephant out of the closet...

They are AFRAID OF YOU.

Yes, these rude, mean, heartless men are fucking SCARED SHITLESS of you. They don't understand the combination of nice & hot, as that's like a snowman in summer. It doesn't happen.

So they abuse the fuck outta you to save face, to be high and mighty, because otherwise, what do they have against you? They can't hold a candle to an educated, classy, casual, beautiful woman.

It's not a conscious thing - at least, for a fair chunk of them. It's a natural reaction to being OVERWHELMED.

They are scared that you will find them out, that they will try to date you and you will see through their shallow facades. They also think that, because you're nice, you're a pushover, and they can get away with rude behavior. Because nice guys finish last, remember?

We've been conditioned that the hotter someone is, the more like an asshole we need to behave, or else they won't respect us, they'll be the greater asshole and win the asshole pissing contest.

So realize that yes, all these men are INSECURE around you and are directing their nervousness in a negative way, and directing it at YOU. You shouldn't have to put up with it, not even for a minute.

The guy who texted you was telling the absolute TRUTH... he was peeing his pants.

Make sense?

CasualFriday · Accepted Answer

If I knew a bit more about your personality I could give a better response. @no_bs said they are scared of you, and although I agree with many of the things he said, I think it's something else. @Klaatu51 said something that's very true, albeit him phrasing it in a bad way.

I've interacted with many beautiful girls who get treated like dirt. And the one common denominator with them all was that they were too sweet. They were scared of being themself and standing up for their beliefs. They were easy to push over and not that difficult to manipulate. With that being said, all of them suffered abuse in their life (emotional, physical or sexual). This in turn caused sever rejection and insecurity to develop and as a result they become easy targets. Somehow they just kept repeating the cycle of meeting one jerk after another. And because they had low self-esteem, the whole world treated them the way they saw themself.

I may be way of course here, and perhaps totally wrong. But as I said, I know nothing of you, so this is just me speculating.

Hope This Helps Someone :)

ValenSerethi · Answer

Well, let me start off by saying, I'm very sorry for what you're going through, I know it must be very difficult for you to be so batshit crazy and full of yourself, but just try to listen. I know this will be hard for you to understand, because judging from your grammar and spelling you're also a complete fucking moron; but guess what! You are NOT god's gift to the world, you are certainly NOT a nice person. Calling every man who doesn't do exactly what you want them to does not make them "rude" "weird" "dumb" "stupid" "ugly" or any of the other cunty things you ranted about others who you clearly know nothing about and obviously never tried to learn more about. It's pretty easy to see from how highly you view yourself and how lowly you view others that you're a complete fucking bitch/cunt.

The amount of times you called yourself beautiful, pretty, and oh yeah! NICE! What a crock of shit, you're a bitch lady. Those guys might have thought you were one hot piece of ass, but it would seem like none of them were desperate/dumb enough to stick their dicks in that much crazy. Ever seen Gone Girl? I'd ask if you read the book, but I'd be kidding myself. Anyways, the girl in that story was fine as all hell, but she was also smart enough to keep her crazy under wraps until she got married. That's what you need to do, lock your insanity in a cage until you meet some poor sad bastard who's thick enough to marry you, ruin his entire life, then get away with a few murders.

As for the rest of you fucktards, I can't believe you're stupid enough to fall for this shit. The OP is either full of shit and trolling for a good laugh. Is seriously fucked in the head with delusions of being a nice person, or fucked in the head with delusions of being attractive and "nice". Either way, a Troll cunts lives within these parts, you have all been warned.

engit92 · Answer

Beautiful Women who deem themselves as sweet and are actually sweet to guys Please Please remain so. Do not listen to so called Psycho analytic garbage (have studied subject extensively) advising you to alter your approach and attitude. I do believe this is your actual personality trait to express your interaction in a positive light and 'wearing your heart on your sleeve, old English saying, cannot be anymore positive. Honestly do believe me when i say your outlook attitude toward men in social situations is one to be admired, an expression of your inner confidence and how you want be portrayed not some arse hole making you feel bad. Now one thing you are in control which is quite evident in most of your dates with Men. I would say only one minor criticism of over self analysis, it could begin to creep into the social model and be deemed as self obsession. Do not think try to flow with your natural ambience and eventually you will be appreciated for the beautiful, sexy pleasant women you actually are. By the way there are not many sweet beautiful Women left to be admired, another reason not to change. Chin up girl XXXXX

pavlove · Answer

So many things...

First, guys tease girls they think are really pretty because they assume they hear compliments a lot and more compliments would bore them.

Second, girls like you often have really poor self esteem even though your looks are so high and so while you say you would want a nice guy your dating history obviously suggests otherwise.

Let's look at it like this, if I were to say the last ten girls i dated used me for my money why can't I find a girl who loves me for me? You would be like... umm you obviously have a thing for golddiggers.

Anonymous · Answer

because you appear to be superior, the guys will do everything to put you down try to maintain a relationship with one of them they will change they willllllll stop doing it. Once
you have crossed that barrier you will get the best life you deserve because beauty fades away with age but your nice attitude will protect you.
and i will die to have one like you in my life

Anonymous · Answer

Stop dating angry beta males/manginas. They are scared of you because you are too hot. When they see you, they think "she is out of my league and will not have sex with me. No point in trying so I am going to be a jerk". Since you are a 10/10, you can have ANY guy you want. This scares them because they feel like they are not good enough and you will leave as soon as you find someone better. They are competing with other men who have bigger dicks, bigger wallets, bigger house and better car.

You need to date alpha males like me. I have the mentality that I can have any female I want. I actually try regardless if the female is a 7/10 or 10/10 and it has worked out well for me. Still get to bang hot females.

FakeName123 · Answer

You reap what you sow. You get treated by the way you behave.

Chances are it's either of these:

- You seem too nice and thus some guys are assume you are a pushover
- You choose the wrong guys to hang out with
- You are lying about how nice you are and it's ingenuine / you are passive-aggressive.

coolgirl19 · Answer

aw i don't know what to say, I think the guys you met are just very immature and don't know how to handle an awesome lady like yourself. If I were you, I would not over think about it. It's absolutely nothing that you did. Just ignore them and focus on yourself, when the time is right you'll find someone who will treat you like the queen you are

rUinSAYAN · Answer

it's usual that hot people are dicks. if you are nice to people that don't know you they may think something is wrong with you as they try to understand why you're nice to them without reason. it would be good to be only nice after you both feel more comfortable as I also see a lot of people first are rude but after you know them they stop

JoeE21 · Answer

Don't give up! There's still a few of us sappy nice guys out there. You'll meet a guy who will get you a rose or so thing sweet on the first date and be all kind and gentleman like. Just be positive and don't lose faith. We exist, I promise! some guys are just looking for hu's and stuff

Anonymous · Answer

Men hate the power females have over them. They could be guarding themselves against you because you're way too appealing to them. This only goes if they are rude without knowing you. If they get rude right off the bat.

If they are ok at first and get progressively more rude, there might be something wrong with you, but you don't notice it.

SuperBro · Answer

Lol, all these guys have it wrong.

I don't know you so I can't say for sure, but you sound like a narcissistic bitch.

You think you're perfect and great and hot and sweet and all that. The whole shebang. Which is fine. All well and good.

But you want a beta male to come and kiss your ass. Which is also fine.

The fact is, nobody is the full shebang. Doesn't matter if you're a model with the manners of a princess, everyone has pros and cons. Including you.

If you find some Cuck that kisses your ass good for you. But most men aren't that

Hate comments to the left.

Flowergirl1979 · Answer

My boyfriend of 4 years is always cussing me out, never takes me out, accuses me of off the wall shit while treating me like I'm the scum at the bottom of a shoe. I'm so sweet, and the sweeter i am, the meaner he is. The problem is I love him with all my heart. We have a gorgeous baby girl but we don't live together BC he formed a bad habit, per se. For example, I cooked a homemade meal and was going to bring it to him, me and our angel girl. Guess what I got in return... cussed out up and down. I hate myself now. I'm a beautiful person inside and out, I do have a Cajun temper though. But why does he treat me like I'm a piece of crap, especially when I try to be nice. Please help. I'm tired of hating myself. Please make this anonymous. I dont was this to get to him. Help!!!

InferiorGayBoy · Answer

Because, men have more rrights and freedom that we don't deserve.
Men should literally be slaves for women
Disrespecting and being rude to a woman Should be punishable by death
It doesn't matter if a man is black white, gay or straight. A perfect world a man is a slave, and does any physical labor, sexual act a woman asks, wars when a woman tells him, sleeps when a woman tells him etc.

Roarke · Answer

your posts suggest you have an overly analytical mind and are prone to thinking through every possible angle of any issue. stop now and you won't fry your brain. seek professional help if you decide you need it.

campylobacterjejuni · Answer

After extensive scientific research I have come to the conclusion that not all men are mean and rude to women who are kind and nice

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe it's the type of guy. Like the type of guy that just wants to get laid. And u aren't there type. They get turned off and leave? Word of advice (Let them) that's not what relationships are all about.

Roycaryn · Answer

You said you're an ex-model, odds are they think you're a heartless, stuck-up bitch. Either that or they think you've got some serious mental issues and ran for the hills.

523206720 · Answer

Maybe they think you are easy. Guys don't respect easy girls - no matter how how they are.

Tunafish816 · Answer

It sounds like you are out of their league. In intelligence and looks. But also you could be the one coming off as rude but not realizing it but I doubt it.

Crazyced · Answer

Something doesn't add up in my mind. Would you mind picking one particular encounter and describe it in detail with a transcript of the general conversation?

Why are men so mean and rude to women who are kind and nice?

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