Told my bf he wasn't the best in bed.. how do I fix things?

[Anonymous]

I was super honest with my bf because that's what he wants. He'd rather live with the truth than a lie. So I told him he wasn't the best ever in bed. Now he thinks of himself as a failure and thinks he will never live up to my past. How do I make him see he can and will?

[kaylaS91]

Rather than focusing on the negative, try to turn it into constructive criticism. Like if you don't like it when he does a certain position, say you find it uncomfortable not so much because of him but because it hits your cervix and is a bit painful. Or say that he's good at oral, you just think it would feel a bit better for you if he applied more pressure, etc.

Next time you guys get together, make sure to give a lot of positive reinforcement when he does something you like. Telling him you love being so close when cuddling, especially after sex, can go a long way. :)

[Anonymous]

Just tell him no guy is born amazing in bed, it takes practice and learning what each individual woman specifically likes. Tell him it's not a bad thing, it's a good thing because now you get to have some fun learning.
Just make sure he knows you still want him. Walk past him and touch him, act like you can't keep your hands off him and he's the most sexy thing ever. He feels like shit right now, just make him feel good again and boost his confidence.

[Fezziwig]

Stop trying to talk about it for now, it's just keeping it fresh in his mind and all probably sounds like false reassurances. Initiate a lot of sex and get a little more vocal in bed about what does feel good and what would turn you on. He'll stop worrying about it seeing as how he's getting so much ass from you and in the meantime, you'll get a better partner.

[cowsert101]

you gotta teach him what you like. and when he starts getting better let him know he is doing better. probably need to exaderate how much he is improving to some extent. his pride is wounded and he's gonna need some ego stroking to get back on track. but hey he shouldn't be too butthurt. don't as the question you don't want the answer to

[RedThread]

Well he wanted that information.. I don't know what he's so butthurt about. Why doesn't he get proactive about it and ask you what YOU want instead of focusing on what a failure he is? Try to talk with him and communicate about what you both like. It isn't like he's incapable of progress.

[crazyincalifornia]

Coach him! Tell him what you like and maybe don't like.
Make sure he understands he is your number 1 guy.

I am a little concerned about your age though.

Assuming you're of age for consensual sex, help him be the guy you need.
Unsatisfactory sex for girls can usually be traced to not enough foreplay.
If a guys not careful, it can be over too quick for you. You can help him here.

Sex in an art. It is worth putting effort into.

Love your guy and love your sex.

:)

[SillyQuirks_]

You took a shot at his ego... I don't think you can ever regain that because even if you do tell him down the road that sex was incredible or the best - he won't take your word on it (probably)...

I think the best thing to do in this situation is just enjoy sex with him and let him see you are enjoying it by actually being into it. Don't fake moan or anything like that but be there with him and take care of each others sexual needs.

[Crazyced]

Add that to the list of 'What should a girlfriend never do'. Even if he asked for it (which is a bit silly IMO). It's the male equivalent of 'do you think I look fat'.

All you can do now is damage control without making it obvious. But it might be too late.

[eddzeeman]

LOL you messed up. Dont ever talk about how a guys privates or his bed skills are unless they are positive things. That will surely make him feel less of the type of man. You really hurt his ego there, and if I was him, that thought would be stuck in my head until we died (if it even lasts that long).

[TheWiseOwl]

Just because someone wants honesty doesn't necessarily mean they can handle the blunt truth and an air of tact is needed to ensure that honesty is delivered without a knock out punch.

You'll have to explain to him what he needs to do to improve and show him but he'll need to repair his bruised ego because you've shattered his ego.

[chocolatedragon]

I'd say now is the perfect time for you to tell him what you like and what he should do more of.

Some men have stamina too short for their ladies.
Some don't do oral.
Some only care about pleasing themselves.
And there's a slew of other things he could fit in.

Recognize his problem and help him fix it so he can give you the best sex possible. He's your bf, he should consider what you like. There's no reason for you to put up with crappy sex.

[loganlong85]

Oh wow. You can tell him that you have an idea where you can tell each other, kind of a play by play, of what you really like while you have sex! Or sit down and tell him what exactly he can do to improve.
Did you tell him what aspect of sex that he lacks in? ie. Oral, types of positions, passion, foreplay in general, rhythm ect?

[TripleAce]

Maybe your putting it all on him... Its your job to be in tune with whats happening and flow with what you like too and how you like it...

If your just sitting there and making he either do something or don't do something thats not going to work

he's not the magician here, you both together are!

[Anonymous]

Never tell your bf he's bad in bed.

I found my bf really bad in bed too the first times we did iT. Never told HIM this. So i did iT step By step. I would tell HIM Like next time we should try this out or that. Or i would just tell HIM what i like during sex. He then got better. You should do this too altho he already know just tell HIM what you like and let him know u like iT during sex

[Rcjh1987]

OUCH? Even if a guy says to be honest that is the one thing you stay quiet about... Talk about a huge ego bruise... He may not be able to forget... You can try apologizing? Did he ask you specifically if he was good?

[Anonymous]

That's a very awkward position he put you in. He should've have even asked that, especially if he's not going to be able to handle an answer he doesn't like. It's one of those cases where honesty is not always the best policy. No one really wants to hear their partner's had better. Just reassure him that you enjoy sex with him, and you guys can keep practicing and making it better and better.

[Opinion Owner]

*shouldn't

[amybeelicious]

Just FYI never tell a guy they lack in bed. What would've been better is to teach him stuff or show him what you personally like mid sack session. He would've not been offended by going that route at all. Smh.. you have a lot to learn dear. Lol

[BertMacklinFBI]

wow really. tell him to man up and realize that with more time and experience he will get better. is 1 review really gonna write him off like this? lol.

[CommieDearest]

It's his fault but js I would have lied my ass off.

[SomeoneImportant]

I don't think I've ever thought I was the best a girl has ever had, that's a pretty arrogant statement lol. Besides, what kind of guy loses hope after getting one bad review? That should just make him more determined to get claim that number 1 spot.

[luvstoned4him]

Oh darm ! You really messed up. Start pulling out all the Big Guns you have. Apology is the first

[kheserthorpe]

Guys really, really want to be your best.

So what would that entail?

[Betwyn]

Offer him lots of practice time?

[Newnoise]

Tell him to suck it up and learn to do it right and quit moping

[BoudyRizk]

This is not fixable, Sorry

[Victoria_xoxo]

Hahahajahahahaj
Don't fix it

[AloneLove]

You can't fix anymore