Dam i dont know if im the best or the worst person to answer you this question. I had the same thing with a classmate and wel y i got friendzoned. My issue was tho that she would flirt with me after friendzoning me. ( very confusing as you can hear ) Eventually i kind of gave up on trying to be near that girl because i felt she was toying around with my feelings. If this guy you're talking about is the same as me, then probably he will keep repeating this scenario. I want to be clear about one thing tho. Its not that he hates you or doesn't like you. He just doesn't want to go trough the process of rejection. ( Yes men are weak sometimes ) Just let it go with the flow. The moment you stop wrapping you're head around it things wil get easier. At least it always works for me. The advice i can give you is to stop focusing yourself around all the things you dont want to happen. Instead focus on all the things you do want to happen. Wheter this solves your problem or not i can't say if it doesn't make up you're mind and let him go.
Yes I like him but I realized it only after losing him. And I never pretended anything. I am giving it time but I guess letting go is the only option.
Wait sorry im giving terrible advice. Ok so maybe things aren't going for me as i want them to go. That doesn't mean i should be pulling other people in to this with me. What i can give you as advice is to just take it slow. Make some small talk, and see if you guys can hang around a bit. Still if this does not work, ask him what his deal is and tell him that he is actually really hurting you from the inside. Being vulnerable and open ussually works the best for everyone. I truly hope you can do something with this advice. Letting go and making it seem like things never happened is ussually a very unhealthy way of solving you're problems. If you love something hold it with both hands as tight as you can. That way the moment won't escape you. ( dont get me wrong don't go freakishly psycho but if you truly like and love that person GO FOR IT !! )
But sometimes you have to let go to see if the person cares enough. I have tried enough and now it is his turn.
I dont know exactly what things you have done for contact again. I think i can relate to the guy tho. ( im making steps to fixxing my own fuck ups how small they may be. ) My situation isn't the same but i feel sad about how things are going right now between me and the girl. I truly love her from the bottom of my heart and i keep asking myself where the fuck ups started. ( i know when i just deny it. ) Anyways i'm begging the universe for the perfect moment to rebuild the relationship, at least being friends again would be nice. I wish she would give me the question what my issue is and why i behave like a dick sometimes. ( i would be standing with a mouth full of teeth not being able to overthink my strategy. ) probably that would be the most real and honest moment i would share with her again. I'm just saying even if its just for once, it could be nice that the girl takes the initiative. That way it won't seem like its just you ( the guy ) is chasing after nothingness.
I tried to talk to him 4 times! He has ignored me every time. I am done. I have some self respect and ignorance id the worst thing you can do to a person. I can't chase him anymore. I guess the person who fucks up suppose to take the responsibilty even if it means chasing after nothing. If you avoid someone, you have to be ready to face consequences :(
In the end that is you're choice, its your life. From what i read when scrolling down this page it sounded like you actually cared tho. I feel kind of sad that this is the way you think about a situation like this. Because i can relate it seems desperate for my own situation as wel. But yeah you're right he should either show his feelings bump into a wall or 2, and maybe get what he wants but avoids out of fear. You could also just both let go. Whatever it is you do im just gonna try and make sure i unfuck my own problem. All the bad things ussually cloud you're judgement about the good things that have happened between 2 people. ( keep that in mind ) I hope he grows the balls and that you're feeling of liking him is actually right, so that you can be happy. For now i just hope you're happy and distracted, and eventually you guys make up a bit.
If you are determined to solve your problem, it's a great thing. Don't give up. It might be hard but if things work out, you will feel relaxed.
I am really tired of crying everyday especially when it seems like he does not care. For how long can I hold on? At some point, he will move on get commited and then also I would be just waiting for him. It will hurt me at the end so I have stopped remembering all the good parts and keep the bad memories in my mind.
Well im curious do you have time to chat? any chat site suffices. But maybe we can help each other out. You can tell me what it is exactly you want from the guy to do so you can make up. I can use that to unfuck my situation ( BECAUSE IM FUCKING CLUELESS AS TO MY NEXT STEP. ) Wel let me know.
Ingore the last message, i should get my own shit together. Here is some life advice its not about you're problem but it can help it. Call it a little secret. The moment you're head and emotions think about all the thing you do not want to happen. You're subconsious mind wil make sure you react and act in a way that only makes the problem bigger. Th moment you're thoughts and emotions think about all the things you do want to happen, eventually all these things will allign ( even tho it takes time ) Look at it as vibrations that you're sending out to the people around you. think about it.
I am focusing on the positives. I am trying to, at least. And if you wanna chat, I can. Maybe I have a suggestion that can actually help you out.
well, i think he's fallen for you and he knows that its not gonna work. so he's distancing himself from u. he must have said indirectly through gestures, signs or some other actions that he's in love with u but you must have knowingly or unknowingly friendzoned him. So, he doesn't want to propose and get rejected. he knows the outcome. and guys' self esteem blows to bits after a rejection. So he just wants to avoid that situation and is avoiding u. he thinks he can forget u that way but its never gonna work. he will think of u more n more. that's y he keeps asking about u to others. u said u asked him if u did something wrong.
"I tried to ask him. I asked to him about all the possible situations.
-I asked if he thinks I like him and that's why he is ignoring me. He clearly denied.
-I asked if he is angry at me and he denied again"
but did u ask him that if he's in love with you?
It will be so embarrassing if I asked him THAT question and he denied. Maybe you are right. I friendzoned him unknowingly because I never flirted back (I am awkward) and always try to encourage him for other girls when he tried to show that other guys would be stupid to go after me. But, he doesn't want a relationship with anyone.
no. its okay... don't say u are awkward. Just cause u don't have the same feelings as other person doesn't make u wrong. but u should have noticed his actions or any approaches (if there were any). a guy normally tries to confirm whether a gal likes him or not. i. e romantically. if he gets the "yup" situation he will propose. if the "no" situation, he will b upset n sad n will try to avoid u (not every guy but some do dat) U see some guys say they don't want a relationship but they definitely damn wish they had one. now i'm just guessing but i may b wrong..."your friend is an introvert... doesn't talk much... just before he stopped talking to u, he started to avoid gaze and didn't look straight into your eyes much... n etc etc." ooorrrr its just another guess but it might be that someone else have said something about you to him, probably a rumor, which he believed and got hurt and thats y avoiding u. but watever the reason, u must clear the doubts.
I really really like him, but I am just not ready for anything like dating or relationship.
and yes, whatever you assumed about him being introvert, not talking much etc. Etc. Is true.
oh dear... then i think its totally your choice. he's definitely in love. n its because of your "not ready for anything like dating or relationship" which he knows too, that he's avoiding u. But like i said it's totally your choice. But since u always say that u really like him n not love him (romantically) u and him will never get on equal terms again. u c him as a friend but he SAW u as a friend. he sees more than dat now n he can't go back. there is a very thin line between love and friendship and anybody can cross that line. its humane and natural. that doesn't make any of u a wrong person. but differences in perceptions can cause distances like this situation. u can accept the fact that u will never have him back as your old friend and move on or wait for a change in either of your hearts and hope to get back together. decision is yours my friend.
But if he actually loved me, won't it be a little hard for him to let me go? It seems like the whole seperation thing was difficult for me and not him. I feel like he hardly cares.
nope... he didn't let u go. if he did he wouldn't be asking about u to others. he's still madly bloody hinged to u. but the thought of being near u and talking n smiling with u, even though he knows he can't get whatever he wants from u, is tougher for him. i'm betting, he keeps reading your old texts on his phone alone. he didn't delete them. he has pictures of u too. he looks at them everyday n it must hurt him bad. but still he won't talk to u. cause of the fear of rejection. or watever is in his mind is not in yours kinda thing. so... yes... he's in deep pain n he cares for u too and it's really hard for him what he's doing. even though what he's doing is stupid but that's what guys like him always do. they keep everything locked in their heart. others have to break the wall. or else he will just b like that.. always... i know u are hurt. but don't lose hope. u are always stronger than u give yourself credit for.
Yeah he is not good when it comes to feelings. I know that when we stopped talking he was very hurt, but it's damn painful to think that he avoids me because he wants to get over me. He knows that I was hurt and yet he thought that somehow he was saving me from getting hurt.
he's not avoiding u cause he wants to get over you. it's cause he can't c u as his old friend anymore and he knows that the more he be with u the more his feelings will overwhelm. and as i said he can never ever get over u. not so easily and quickly. guys like him hold memories longer than others and that will stop him from moving on. they will curse themselves for being in this situation. And he knows that u r hurt by this "avoiding" situation but just think,'what would u say to him face to face if he proposed one day?' everybody has limits. No one can hold their feelings for long. I am sure even if u thought about it rite now, u would be feeling unanswerable, confused, definitely hurt cause u didn't expect that n that too from him, guilty too for not understanding his feelings for so long, and a lot more. That's y he didn't want that day to come and is just holding back..
You judged him right. He holds on to memories for a longer period of time. In fact, when one of my close friends message him he assume that it might be from me (he told this to my friend)
Maybe this situation is as difficult for him as it is for me. He always said that he can't fall in love so I always kept a friendly distance from him. If he ask me out, I would unfortunately reject because even if I wanted, I couldn't hold on to my intense feelings. I will try to talk to one of his close friends.
Yeah because when it all happened I liked him way too much, but now that I have been hurt so much, and due to the distance, I have lost those feelings. I still like him, but it's not as intense as it used to be. Time and distance heals you, right? Something like that has happened to me. I used to think that I want to be in a relationship with him, but not anymore. I have set my priorities now, and start keeping myself and my career as my no. 1 priority.
I guess, he will. I was nothing special anyway, because when you can't handle being without someone, you would do whatever it takes to make it happen. He did nothing. When we stopped talking, he was busy flirting with other girls. I deserve someone who would do anything to be with me, instead of making me chase him. Making me cry every day. Ignoring me like I don't exist. It's hurtful, and I have got used to it. It's because of him that I moved on.
hmmm... well then he succeeded in whatever he wanted to do. U r starting to move on and forget him. U r thinking of being with someone else better than him. u r doing exactly what he wanted u to do. but then this is no competition. Nobody wins... both of u lose. N i am sorry for u for being in this kinda situation. but i know u will come out of it. u WILL get a nice guy exactly like how u wished for. Just give it some time n keep your heart open :p.. now smile...:D
Do you really think that this is what he wanted me to do?
well... yup.. but this was one of the two things that he wanted u to do or hoped u would do. the other was, u not being able to forget him and u chase him n u confront him n u cry and fight him asking for his sudden weird behavior n then u say that u love him too. well the second one is obviously not gonna happen after looking at your messages but the first one happened... soooo... yup.. well im just guessing here afterall rite?
But these two things are contradicting. Making me confess and then wanting me to move on.
well that's what the problem is. when a stranger like me can guess what's in your heart, he would definitely know that u would obviously reject his proposal. And he's afraid to face the reality of it. So he put the answer in your hands by giving u two options which u had to choose unconditionally. U leave him or go for him. thats it. But i think he's having second thoughts too. "how could i fall for her? Am i really in love with her? Y am i in love with her? what would happen if she knew it? How do i explain? Will she c me as more than a friend like i do? how would she behave or talk with me after the proposal? wait... do i really love her? y did i even fall for her? it hurting!!!" well this 'might' be another thing that 'might' b going on his head... like i said an introverted mind is the toughest puzzle to solve even for themselves... lol...
It must mean only one thing that being my friend wasn't an option here. And what if I had confessed? Would he have started talking to me?
I understand the whole introvert thingy because I am also an introvert and I have the same thought process regarding him. It's tiring.
I can't disclose my country here :P
ok... i respect your privacy... will leave at that... so then, nope i don't know what would be his reaction if u had confessed to him. i think he's confused too. he said he didn't want to be in relationships but now his own heart betrayed him so he's confused. i really have no idea what would have happened. but u don't have to confess. just confront him. cause some friendships can still b saved even on the verge of total annihilation...(only some... most of the times its just gone. no use rethinking) but if its really tiring u so much u should probably deal with it quicker and get over it. no more shyness, no more thinking too much, no more pride, just go n confront him n ask him n force him to tell. n then u tell your heart's content and be done with it. it will feel like impossible but once u start to go there , it will b over in a flash...
Okay I will confront him but I know he will avoid me. He won't tell me. Maybe because of pride? Because it is his decision to not talk to me and by talking to me he has to admit his mistake.
QA why don't you give it ago with him, in turns of a relationship. The problem with people these days, is they keep putting offf great opportunties, because they are not ready, or they just don't know what to do etc. But life is too short for that. Your friend was great friend to before, always their for you, supported you. If you get a relationship with him, you have nothing to lose, except it didn't workout, and you move on. Isn't better to say that you dealt your cards, than to you regret a missed opporunity with someone that could be a great partner for you later on. Remember there is never a right time to fall in love, or to have kids, sometimes its just better ride with the waves, and see where it takes you.
Life is all about risk, but should the whole of life, enjoying the journey of that experience. The one thing it does for you, it makes you grow as a person very quickly.
I thinks it a great shame, 2 young are so great for each other, and potential could be good partners.
I think you two should stop messing round, and talk it out. Even if it means take it slow. You both love each other, stop messing about, and you both were great to each other as friends, and thats a really good foundation for a relationship.
Stop trying to second gues one another, to be honest you are both acting kids in a playground, because of your feelings. I understand he is the one, being the most immature out of all this. Someone has to take the lead here. Otherwise both we will lose a great relationship or friendship.
Just say to him , you want to talk and sort this out, or otherwise its over and I want to move on with my life with you, or without you. Its your choice. Sometimes you just be bold. good luck
Maybe he thinks you like him but he doesn't like you in that kind of way. So he pushes you back to protect the both of you feelings so things wouldn't become awkward. He still cares about you as a friend thats why he askes around about you, but he's scared that you might want more.
I asked him if that's the reason and he clearly said no. He has stated that the reason is something else.
Ooo thats a toughy maybe its better for you to just leave him alone.
Give him his own space, do not worry. He probably is going through some difficult times. Or even better, invite him to talk, and clear things out. You both obviously have a lot to talk about. Communication is the key to ANY type of relationship with friends,. etc. Good Luck!
I tried to talk to him but it does not work..
When you asked him if he thought you liked him, did you actually confess to him or made it sound more like a hypothetical situation?
I think he likes you but there could be a few reasons why he's keeping his distance. One of them is he thinking you don't like him back.
I made it sound like I don't like him and just clesring the doubt.
Well, I think it depends on the person, but many times it seems to me that when guys say they hate relationships and have been burned too many times, they would still get into a new one faster than most girls when they like someone. So that's probably not the problem?
If you are/ were friends you must feel comfortable talking about things. I don't think you have anything to lose by just confessing/ admitting you like the guy, that took you too long to realize that and ask if he would like to try dating. You aren't really talking anymore, so whatever his answer may be, the situation can only improve, right? If only by finding out what the real situation is.
He has stayed away from relationships for more than 1 year now. I think it has been so long that he will clearly reject me though I know there is no harm in asking him.
But one thing about being single is that you learn what it is you really want or don't want and maybe that makes him more emotionally available when he actually enters into one again.
It's probably not like you will get into a relationship right away, but at least when you do you know it's because he wants you.
You'd be surprised. Just be honest and regret nothing =)
It's a bit unrelated, but there's this guy I would swear really hated me and used to be kinda harsh to me - which made me mad with myself when I could still see his good points and acknowledge his kindness to other people and like him. Argh. Now recently I've overheard him talking about me with his friends confessing how much he likes me but is too shy... A lot of things about his behavior make sense now.
I'm not saying it's the same for you, there could be more stuff about your guy you don't know about, but life has a way to surprise you sometimes.
It's weird that some people have the tendency to act totally opposite of what they actually feel. Well, thanks for your response.
Okay, thanks. And yeah, we all do it :)
Opinion
25Opinion
You probably did something to make him feel rejected by you and he's either A.) avoiding you so he won't get hurt any further or B.) avoiding you so he doesn't become a bother to you. I have some friends like this. As soon as they came to terms with the thought that I liked them but probably not enough to be in an intimate relationship with them they slowly pull away and stop talking to me unless I'm like right in their face trying to be friendly. I used to wonder what I did but eventually I realized sometimes you can break someone's heart with zero intentions of doing so simply by being yourself. It's inevitable. I don't date, I don't do the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing, and I'm not sure I will in the future. It's a conscious choice of mine so I've had both guy and girl friends act this way towards me. They'll feel the bond and the connection and really feel like theirs something unique and special between us and there is but then they see that I have almost the exact same kind of interactions and energy with most of my friends and It crushes their dreams. They realize that I see them just as a friend and not anything more without me having to say or do anything. And they kind of just assume rejection. You can't let it get to you though. If you like him and want a more exclusive relationship go talk to him and be more aggressive if you only want him as a friend let him go. So he can heal eventually he'll move on. He may never come back but that's life. You'll make many many more friends. And your gonna lose some of them too. But you can only miss something that meant a lot to you when you had it. That doesn't mean that you need it forever it just means that life comes with a full range of emotions and experiences and that's what makes life colorful
He always made it clear that he doesn't believe in love and relationships. The same thing is with me. So I don't get how I can reject him in any way. He has just told me that I have done nothing but it has something to do with him and he won't tell me.
Well believe him. If he won't tell you he won't tell you and you'll just have to accept that. And in my experience those that say they don't believe in love simply haven't found a way to explain love yet. Just because he doesn't believe it doesn't mean he's not feeling anything. Love is an action a feeling a concept and an enigma. It's probably just as difficult to explain as life. I'm a biologist and I've done my fair share of research on love in the brain and I could give the whole spill of it just being chemical reactions but human beings are just particles yet we're still humans and love may just be a series of signals or a misleading emotion or a vague idea but it's still love. It's weird stuff. Best to just try and focus on other things (like yourself) and let him figure out himself.
He has been hurt in the past so that makes him stay away from it. I am focussing on my career and myself but it's just that no matter with how many boys I talk to, it doesn't matter to me anymore because he's always on my mind.
Lol I love hearing this. The no matter who I meet he's always number 1 line. Do you remember before the iPhone was made and everyone loved those razor flip phones or sidekicks? Maybe not But when we look back on them they look like crap compared to our Andriods and iPhones of today. That's because you don't know what you don't know. second the he's been hurt before line. Trust me everyone's who's ever been alive and found someone else attractive has been hurt before. Getting hurt is part of the human experience it's part of loving and learning. Being hurt is nothing important or special. People aren't perfect and if you try to jam too imperfect things together and force them to work when they don't something's gonna get damaged eventually. We all go through it. I think right now you've got more going on in your head than your letting on. I don't think this is about his behavior at all. I think it's about you, your feelings for him that you don't quite understand yet and your fear.
I never said that I can't find anyone better than him. I know I can. But he was there in my life when I was totally alone. When I was so suicidal that I couldn't even predict my next day. It was only after meeting him that I learn to appreciate life. His optimistic views helped me to look at things in a better way. I might find someone better than him in every aspect but would I find someone who can replace whatever he has done for me? Actually no.
And yes, I am also scared about my own feelings. Even if I like him, I won't ever get into a relationship because I am not ready. There's always the fear that what if he is not the one I want after 10 years so. I don't even like the whole romantic cheesy part of a relationship. I can do so better alone.
Lol I love talking to you because your a repeate of like 95% of my exes and a good bit of my female friends. I stopped the last girl I dated for commuting suicide more times than I remember. I showed her how to smile in the most stressful of times. Got her off of drugs. And encouraged her to finish college. Fixed her relationship with her mom and dad which overtime lead to her mom reconnecting with her aunt and later her extended family she's been avoiding for over a decade. Yep it was all me... sounds wonky doesn't it? I was there for her a lot. I helped her see the world differently and she passed those thoughts on to others. That's just life. We learn and grow as we age and meet new people and we pass on what we've learned to others. I'm not saying you can't find someone else. Nor am I saying you need to. I'm just saying you don't need to grasp so tightly to this friendship. Things don't have to work out in the end in order for you to be happy. We have to take life as it comes.
That came out wrong. What I was saying by mentioning my ex is that it wasn't me that changed her life it was the ideas. We broke up on awkward terms but now she's happy with the man of her dreams and I'm happy for her. Just keep learning and eventually the panicking and negative thinking will disappear
Thanks. I will try to see it that way.
I would say, he has fallen for you hard, but doesn't want ruin the friendship between by asking you out, or he could think that you won't like him that way. I would just give him time, stop forcing him to come on your terms. I would just suggest carry on with you things, because he is obviously needs to get over attraction to you.
what you could do, if you really want to keep his friendship in the future. You could pass him on a little note, saying I understand whatever is going on your life, I will be there for you. I willing to wait for you, when the time is ready for you to the clear for me.
There is saying, if you don't understand a man's silence, then you won't undestand his words. Sometimes in life we just have to read between the lines. I mean the answer for you obvious is to why he is avioding you. He is in love with you.
just let him come to you, in his own time. Maybe in the mean time, keep in contact through mutual friends. when he is ready, he will come to you. Good luck
Thanks a lot for your words. I am doing it. I am giving him space. But sometimes it's scary that someday he might get over me and forget about me. Because it always seems that he is doing fine without me and already has lots of friends so he doesn't need me anymore.
I understand what it must be like for you. But this situation is out of your control. There is no point over thinking things like this, because it will just end up crippling you. whatever will happen between you and him, will happen. But you just have accept it, and move on with your life. All you can do is hope he will see the light. If he going to let his feelings get the better of him, and let it ruin a good friendship he has with you. Then is his loss, and not yours. Don't waste time on people chasing that don't value you on your friendship. Do your own thing, work hard, and the right people will make an effort and stay in your life. Don't focus to much on the people that don't want to be friends with you. At the end of the day, you have carry living your life. good luck
Don't chase people too much, if they don't value you as a person, or your friendship, its not worth it. When you meet the right people in your life, you will know about it. Because they will do everything in their power to keep that relationship with you, just as much as you. So its never a good idea to keep chasing people that not willing to make an effort with you. Sometimes just have to let them go. Its going to be hard. But stops you from being in pain all the time. When you let go of them, the pain of losing them will eventually go. good luck TIP, don't over think things, its a waste of time, and it will just end up crippling you.
Thank you and I understand what you are saying. I am going to follow this. It's not worth crying over those who are never going to see your tears.
thats its good luck. Its your life, they either want to be in your life or they don't. you shouldn't have to be chasing them. We have a very short time on this earth, and a long time dead. Its really not worth it, in the grand scheme of things. Death is always round the corner, so you must live wisely, and your full potential, otherwise your wasting it. Remeber once your gone, you won't be getting another chance. ONE CHANCE, ONE LIFE. GOOD LUCK.
DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHAT ANYBODY THINKS ABOUT YOU, GOOD, BAD OR INDIFFERENT. DO YOU WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO, FOR YOU.
REMEMBER THE REASON GOOD, HAS GOODBYE IN IT. Sometimes goodbye means, goodbye to a person that no longer makes you happy. Its means you can start being happy again.
It's going to be hard. He was the one who was there at my bad times when no one else was. He always stood by me and helped me. I learnt to laugh again just because of him and noe that he left, I have forgot to laugh as well. He always supported me and my dreams and made me optimistic. That's why it's sad to move on but I know that it's the only option left.
dont give up him, just don't chase him. If he wants to be in your life, he will catch up. like I said, he will come to you in his own time. Sometimes we can't help they the way feel, even if turns out bad. He has fallen in love with you, and he thinks the only best options is to avoid for you while. Things always work in time trust me. Have faith, and don't worry to much.
I was going through a bad time mentally, and I didn't talk to one of my best friends for 6 months. He didn't know what he had done wrong. But he was patient, and waited, and I got back in contact with him. and now we are back very good friends, if not better now. When I got contact with him, I told him my situation. and he understood. and said let be friends again. Now he a true friend to me, because understood my situation. Things happen, sometimes without explainations. But eventually do they do work out, it wil either be good or bad. just be patient, and see what happens with him.
Hmm you are right. Thanks a lot. It has helped a lot.
no problem good luck.
I was like that with one of my female friends, and she just left me be like he is telling you to do. I thought she didn't care at all about our friendship then, and we didn't talk for over a year, until a friend of mine invited her to hangout with us, and she started talking to me, and we became friends again. If that hadn't happened, I had no plans on becoming friends with her again.. Be careful how much space you give him
Well this advice might backfire, but it's what I would do in your situation. Do whatever you have to in order to confront him about it. If he really is your friend you shouldn't have to tolerate him ignoring you like that, so find some way to confront him in a private setting where you can both be real with each other. Demand (or ask if you're really afraid he'll take offense to your forwardness) why he seems to be avoiding and ignoring you. If you come on strong and serious he will likely admit what is really going on. If it backfires, he might become angry that you're kind of imposing on him and being demanding, but if you really want to find out what on earth is going on with him, taking control of the situation is probably the best way to do it. Good Luck!
I tried to ask him. I asked to him about all the possible situations.
-I asked if he thinks I like him and that's why he is ignoring me. He clearly denied.
-I asked if he is angry at me and he denied again
He just said that he likes talking to me but can't tell me the reason for his ignorance. :|
well that's just fucking weird... Could be something going on in his life that's messing up the relationship I don't know. But if he says he's not angry or afraid of you liking him then I'm at a loss :$. I hope other people can come up with some good ideas on this one because I'm stumped.
I was also baffled on knowing it. He is so damn confusing :( He is not even the kind of person who would hurt someone knowingly. He is talking with everyone just perfectly fine. It's me with whom he's maintaining distance.
Hi hopefully my advice or what ever I say will help you I am the best of giving advice on this to people over the last number of years so I read though some of the comments to see what the story was so your friend in college has stopped talking to u Ya I get what you mean like that friendship for you maybe he going throug a rorough time and does want to tell u maybe he don't want u to be worried about him like I don't know or that he could have feeling for u and want to be more than friends and is scared to take the risk to ask u out in case it all goes wrong and that your friendship is ruined you say he asked about though a mutual friend like that has to account for something he might not be talking to u but he does care about u maybe he needs some space to himself and give him time and he be back to himself I don't know what else to say hope my advice works
I have already given him enough space. Like lots of space. He is talking totally fine with everybody else. I don't get why I am subjected to his harsh behaviour. It hurts even more when some responses say that the reason is he might like me.
Maybe he felt that he was too available to ever think you would want an intimate relationship with him as he realized that those feelings had developed. So this is why he made himself scarce so that you would realize that maybe he can be more than just a friend
He didn't make himself scarce. He don't talk to me anymore. We are not friends now.
No 2 ways about it.. he definitely likes you n is tryin to maintain a distance to decline his attraction for you.. if u hv made all d efforts n he still hasn't come around, just let him be.. he will eventually come around b confess his feelings.. he is for sure having some serious self esteem issues too n he probably thinks he is not good enough for u. If you do want to date him, confront n tell him this right away but if not don't approach him anymore, u have done ur part.. good luck@
:( He doesn't want a relationship so there is no use of telling him. He will still avoid me. Moreover, I wasn't even his type of girl. I am so opposite. I never thought to take his flirting or complements seriously.
He likes u too much n thinks u r good fr him n hence he doesn't want a relationship with u! See it hpnd with me too but in my case this guy did tell me n I friend zoned him.. since then he told me dat he won't talk to me n he hasn't. . he only sends gunyt message every night n it has been almost a year now. It is difficult for him to get over u n he will avoid you maybe forever but u will eventually come to know if he does like u or not which I am sure he does!!
It seems like he is planning to avoid me forever. He thinks that he will hurt me. Though after we stopped talking, he told my friend that he liked talking to me. Only if he was willing to solve things for once. Thanks for your response, by the way.
See I have recently been on the receiving end so yes if u think u are not getting what u want, u want to avoid that person forever. . n seriously if he plans to, there's little u can do about it!!
I know and it sucks especially knowing that he liked me. He is the first guy I ever liked and the closest friend I could ever get. He was everything I wanted but it all seems to painful to hold on.
I just hope things get better for u.. good luck!
He probably likes you. Clearly he's in the friend zone. He doesn't want to develop anymore feelings for you. So he's trying to avoid you. If you're in a relationship, it probably hurts him to see you with someone else.
I am not in a relationship :( I friendzoned him because I thought I was in his friendzone.
Aw I'm sorry. That's so sad. Well your next step is to sit down and talk to him and be honest about what's going on. Like you probably need to admit that you like him and see what he's going to say. Even though it's nerve-wracking, he's already not talking to you that much so you don't have too much to lose.
He would still ignore me as much as I know. He has pushed me aqay from his life for a reason. Though I will admit it to him.
its so obvious he loves u but might think u either don't like him or its not going to work hence he is avoiding u but still wants to know how ur doing because he cares, he just doesn't want to show it and wants to distract himself from liking u
The second option seems more obvious. He always says relationships don't work. :|
Yeah, I do. But I realized about my feelings when he stopped talking to me. Too late, I guess.
I will try to but he doesn't want a relationship so what's the use to confess. He has given up on love.
i think he is in love with you and tries to get over you by avoiding you.
I doubt if it's possible. He used to tease me a lot, and complement all other girls.
I tried to, but he doesn't talk to me at all :( One day, he texted me but then again ignored me.
he probably likes you but you only think of him like " a brother" e. g. in a non sexual way, which depresses him because he gets rejected by women all the time.
He has been in a lot of relationships but he thinks that none of them works anyway so he keeps himself away from relationships.
There's got to be a reason. A lot of times in a situation like this, there's a misunderstanding or perhaps a kind of assumption going on. If he asks about you through a mutual friend, you could do the same thing. Try to get a grasp on the picture from a different perspective.
I tried. The only thing I got is:
He is ignoring me. I have done nothing to make him ignore me. He is doing it because of a reason. He wants to keep the reason a secret.
he asks about you yet ignores you? sounds like he is interested but you shut him down before.
try confronting him with "why are you acting that way?" and demand the honest truth no matter what. he'll tell you.
I tried to ask him. I asked to him about all the possible situations.
-I asked if he thinks I like him and that's why he is ignoring me. He clearly denied.
-I asked if he is angry at me and he denied again
He just said that he likes talking to me but can't tell me the reason for his ignorance. :|
I have taken a step back. I am not gonna make efforts anymore.
well i've read all the reply, none mention if you really like him as bf or not.
Did you change something in your physical appearance? New hair, new tan... ?
Do you have a lot of things in common with him?
Does he stares at you or avoid eyes contacts?
Does he at least say "hi" ?
When you try to talk to him, what happen? What kind of facial expression he shows?
Have you texted him "Happy new year" to see his reaction?
Did you change something in your physical appearance? New hair, new tan... ?
-- No
Do you have a lot of things in common with him?
-- Yes he admitted it and then we became friends
Does he stares at you or avoid eyes contacts?
-- now he avoids eye contact but still notice me when I am busy
Does he at least say "hi" ?
after ignoring me, no
When you try to talk to him, what happen? What kind of facial expression he shows?
-- sad, scared, anger
Have you texted him "Happy new year" to see his reaction?
-- no :(
The objective here is to check if the respect he has for you (because the way he acts show respect - in a way) is greater than the problem he is facing in the relation between you two. If you wish him happy new year and he stills has respect for you, he will return the wishes, if he doesn't he will feels very bad for the next 12 months, I can't see that happen.
Can you answer my question, since you are anonymous, I will ask it here?
I'm facing the same problem than your friend with another girl. She asked me what is wrong, I replied that she became awkward and avoided me, something that she denied, but I'm not stupid, I know what I saw, it was night and day. She bacame distant as soon as she found out that I like her. This really hurted me. Told her she is not social and stuff, she took it well, said she's didn't change (bullshit).
While what I told her is true, the real reason why I avoid her is that I really fall for her, her personality is just amazing.
she wished me happy new year and we had a small conversation going. I know she was trying to fix things. I used to talk to her a lot, she knows something is wrong, I don't initiate conversation anymore. I really want to talk to her, but I don't :( I can't forget what I was been trough (didn't sleep a lot because thinking about her...) I don't want to live this again. Also, I stare at her (deep stare), I just can't help it :(
I just can't tell her this, things will become even more ackward ! When I talk to her, she makes me happy, but then avoid me for following days, everytime I have a withdrawal symptoms from her... and this delay my goal to get over my feelings. When I will get over, THEN I will be able to go back to her...
I just wanted to share this so you understand better than other point of view !
Also, what would you do if you was me?
It happens I guess. In order to divert the attraction, we become less social with a person. Maybe that girl doesn't want to make things awkward but wants to keep you at a distance so that you stop liking her and it does not ruin the friendship. You should try to move on, perhaps? It's hard but her actions and words say a lot
And if I was in your place then after clear rejection, I would cut off and break friendship because it will be too painfil handle it.
Painful*
Ok... he is falling for you and wants to stay away from you which will make him loose his attraction... he actually doesn't wanna get attracted but... he can't help it. so he is avoiding you!
It can actually make sense that he just doesn't want to like me so it's better to maintain distance.
^ He likes you but knows you probably thinks
your not sexually attracted to him that's my
opinion but hey.. why ask me
nice that is your name too. I wish i took it.
because after every answer you can say that and it wouldn't look bad
especially to someone who hasn't seen your user name before like me
: I doubt it.
Well in my opinion i'd say that maybe he likes you but thinks or knows you will never feel the same. So he kind of gave up. Cause believe me i've done the same as him in similar situations
:( Someone told me that this could be the reason, but I am not even his type. :|
Girl you may never know. Because well the boy I liked wasn't even my type at all, I just loved his personality then later fell in love with him in general. But like we eventually did end up dating but broke up because we didn't want to risk ruining the friendship... So like you never know it could be the reason. Is it bad that he would like you?
No, it's not bad. But it's just that we are quite different from each other so I don't think it can work.
Awww I understand but well if he does like you and if you do like him then well "it never hurts to try" cause well you should take a risk before you lose the opportunity and end up regretting everything
I guess it's too late now. I have made lots of efforts to talk and make everything normal but he is sticking to his decision.
Awww honey girl im soo sorry. Maybe give him space and it'll come back together one day. Best of luck I hope things work out
I am giving him space. It's too hurtful to get ignored anyway. I am recovering though. I can't force sm1 afterall. Thanks for your response.
Honestly the same exact thing happened to me and it sucks. If they are ignoring you, however, and haven't given you a reason why would you still want to be their friend?
Because that person was there for me when no one else was. He always helped me and I don't get why this sudden change of heart.
maybe he loves you, i did the same thing when i realized i was in love with my best guy friend and it was the biggest mistake i have ever made in my life. You should talk to him about it.
So you ignored him forever? :(
no i told him i had feelings for him a year or so after and we tried to be friends again but it didn't work out. It was just too late for us to be friends again. It as a huge mistake and you should do whatever you can to try and figure things out before its too late or you and him will end up regretting it.
It means he has a huge crush on you, but realized you would never want him back.. so he discontinued your friendship to get over you.
Almost everyone has given this reason. Its making me feel sad.
I personally would ask him why he's doing it and if he doesn't tell you forget him. you shouldn't be ignored
I understand that. He doesn't tell me.
do you have a boyfriend? maybe he doesn't miss u he just talks about u because he is mad about something and wants to know what your mutual friends says.
No I am single.
I asked him. He is not mad at me for anything. He has said I am not the reason for anything.
have u talked to any of his other close friends? It could help
No I have not : We have limited mutual friends and they are not that close to him
How about getting some common ground, a restaurant you both like a park or anywhere that does not seem like anyone's turf and let him know you want to talk and try to hear his side and if he's still hard to get through tell him what his silence does to you, not in a blaming kind of way but in an even understanding and honest way. Try that and see how it goes. You might b surprised at what happens. Ps. Let him know that you won't judge him by his answers
I have tried to talk to him politely. In fact, considering that he ignores me in college, I texted him and he even started replyig but then suddenly ignored me. He is always around his friends so I can't just walk up to him. He even ignores my texrs. So it doesn't work.
Hmm okay. I will muster up some courage to talk to him again.
No such thing as "no reason".
What had been said *before* he stopped talking to you?
There IS a reason. But he has said that I am not aware of the reason. Basically it has to do something with him and not me. He would not tell the reason either.
Oh, stock "it's not you it's me". Drop him.
You prolly friendzoned him. He's trying to move on. Give him a break!
-_- He never asked me out so how the hell did I friendzone him? I never even talked to other guys as much.
Maybe he got jealous? You went on a date with some guy or flirted and he saw it?
I never went on a date with another guy or flirted with someone else. :(
Perhaps he liked you so much it hurted him a lot when you shut him down.
But I am not the one who has shut him down. He is the one who has done it for no reason.
Did he ever ask you out?
No. : It was all of a sudden. I tried asking him but he said that he will never tell me the reason. O_o I don't get why he's being so stubborn.
He's playing games I used to do that with some girls back in the day until it happened to me. Reason I did it was so that i could feel important and wanted because it felt good but
one day a girl did the same with me. so I stopped. Best thing i recommend is stop talking to him and move on. Because you dont got time for games.
He said that he doesn't want relationships because it always ends on bad note. So I don't think he would play games especially when he still asked about me to my friend.
Ohh I see perhaps he saw a photo of you with another guy or something of that nature. There's a lot details that are missing
No I don't post such pictures because no other guy was a close friend of mine. It was sudden. He has said that he will not tell me the reason ever. :|
Well I guess its time move on
I am trying to move on but it sucks to lose a guy like him.
I know, but this guy has been avoiding you for quite some time and its your choice to keep taking it. You should talk to more men and keep your chin up this guy wants to be alone led him you don't have to.
I do talk to a lot of other guys, but it just hurts to think that I have lost such a great friend. He is not even the kind of person who hurts people intentionally.
Your friend sound just like me I did that with my friend I don't talk to her anymore. I say its better to move on.
Why did you do that?
i think he does'nt like you or he is in another thing please don't mind but i think its true but you can do a thing avoid him to and make him jealous by other boys i am sure this gonna work
Why should I try to make him jealous? It's not like I want to become his gf. And we were just friends. We were not supposed to have a relationship anyway. But we were good friends.
Yeah, I am doing so. I am just confused why he suddenly stopped talking to me.
I never tried to make him jealous :|
You tried talking to him but he avoids you? Not sure what you mean.
What's complicated in it?
I mean have you actually tried cornering him and asking what's wrong?
I mean what constitutes "avoiding"?
Yes, I have tried it. He doesn't want to talk to me. He avoids my texts as well. He avoids any topic that includes me.
So he's giving you the cold shoulder?
Yep. And yet talked about me to my friend to ask what I am up to.
I think he likes u but he doesn't want to ruin ur friendship so he hides. he's sad coz he doesn't want to hurt u and he's trying to forget u coz he doesn't want to admit his feelings
He has already ruined the friendship :/ But your response seems to hit the nail.
He likes you , but he is scared he is gonna get hurt or he's trying to figure out if a relationship is what he is really looking for
But I don't get why does he even need to figure out if it's relationshipbhe wants when we both knew that we both HATE relationships.
Sounds like he's in love with you :/
did you mention other guys in front of him recently?
Not really. I mean when I used to talk about my celebrity crushes he put them off or sometimes used to tell me that he can help the poor guy who might crush over me so that the guy doesn't go after me. Like, he basically used to tease me that any guy who likes me is stupid -_-
He reckon he still likes you but for whatever reason thinks he has no chance with you.
*I reckon
It makes sense. He says relationships don't work.
Did u ever avoid him or ignor him before?
Never. He has himself said that I habe done nothing to make him ignore me.
If u friend zoned him and he was crushing on u
I didn't friendzone him because we both didn't want anything more than friendship.
Probably doesn't think he's good enough for you
: I don't know. He never accepts complements though. Though he gives lots of complements.
Or maybe he is shy?
He is mildly depressed as much as I know. It seems like so.
Maybe he got jealous?
There was nothing to be jealous about. I never did anything to make him jealous.
he probably thinks u rejected him or avoided him
Lol we both were in each others friendzone and I never avoided him because we talked to each other everyday and texted late till 2 or 3 AM.
oh lol
He's into you and trying to get your attention.
I don't think he is trying to get my attention because he has clearly said we can't talk anymore and apologized for it. :|
Not enough info to answer
What else do you want to know?
Nothing, I was just wondering why a question with very little info, is featured
Because I had enough xper points to get it featured. :)
Doesn't mean you should
You can't decide what I should or should not do when no harm is meant.
I just find it dumb
Less dumb than many other questions that come on GAG :)
yet you thought to make this featured
Forget it, I'm done. You're officially boring me now
Okay, Mr. Unwanted Advisor :)
Is it shyness?
No. He is not shy. And we have been friends for long enough to not have any shyness between us.
just easy, Over a period of time
He fancys you
This reason makes me sad. He was the first guy I liked and if he actually liked me, then it's saddening that I lost him.
He likes you
If this is really true, my whole situation is fucked up.
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