If a Girl Doesn't Flirt, Is She Not Interested?

[vettefan123]

Hey,

There is a girl who works in the same building as me. The both of us are in two different sections, so we don't see each other to often. If and when I'm working at the front of the building, I'll see her maybe twice or at least once a day. We exchange smiles, wave and chat for a bit(briefly). I really like this girl though. We have a lot in common and she seems very down to earth and sweet! Not to mention...gorgeous! My concern though, is she doesn't seem to flirt like other woman I've been around. She seems very cool, calm and collected. Almost very laid back. Is she not interested? Or do I make her feel comfortable around me? It's a little different then I'm used to with most other woman. I was also thinking perhaps she has a boyfriend and doesn't need to flirt. Any insight would be great! I'd love to ask her to go out for coffee sometime! I'm just a wuss!Ha,ha! J/K!

[Anonymous]

Hi there,

You sound very sweet...first, I think it may help to do some very stealthy investigation. Have no more than one person try and find out if she has a boyfriend. It may be best to find out this way rather than asking her to her face because if she does have a boyfriend, then you will have to work with her and that could be awkward for you. Once you know her status, you can then proceed how you'd like. If you have more than one person asking her this, she may know something is up around the workplace. I think it is extremely hard to get any real sense of how a person is by seeing them exclusively at work. Of course, on the job, a certain level of professionalism needs to be maintained and she may be cautious about letting the real her known to coworkers. Who knows, she could be an extremely loud and flirtatious person outside of work, but you will never know until you spend time away from the work environment. I am unsure of your employer's policy for dating or anything of that nature in the workplace and she may not want to jeopardize her job. Once you start a relationship with someone at work, either it has to go really well and kept to yourselves or else it could wind up badly for one of the parties and will surely become office gossip at some point. And that's no fun, right? My best advice is to be cautious and not over-zealous in your quest to get closer to this girl. Either way this ends, you will still have your dignity in tact if you play your cards right. Best of luck!

[FoxGirl17]

It kind of depends on the girl... I know for me, I may seem calm, cool, and collected but I'm nervous as hell when I get around the guy I like... I am very laid back, fun, and nice to everyone, girls and guys... I can talk to everyone EXCEPT the guy I like... So I guess, look for ways that she treats you differently... Like if she doesn't talk to many people, but talks to you often, she likes you. And if she seems to be able to talk to everyone BUT you, she likes you... And as far as thinking she has a boyfriend... You'd be surprised how many girls don't get approached because guys assume she's already taken...

[hl332]

Just because she doesn't flirt back doesn't mean she isn't totally into you. I'm too shy sometimes to flirt back even if the guy is flirting heavily with me.