He's shy... I'm outgoing, What do you guys think?

[Anonymous]

Recently, I met this amazing guy in my class this past semester. I approached him one day to say hi in the hall, and we talked (small talk). As SOON as the class ended, he drove home and searched for me on facebook to add me as a friend. He apologized for it seeming stalkerish, but obviously I did not think it was. I gave him my screen name and I told him to i-m me if he wanted. He said he certainly would and he did later that day. I invited him to have lunch with my friends once a week and he came, and has been coming ever since. He has made me a CD. And one day after class ended, he went home and immediately sent me a message saying 'i forgot to mention I really liked your shirt today. It was neat' Now yes - it was a cool shirt. One he would like. I asked him if he would want to hang out over a break we had, and he said he definitely would. We saw a movie and had a fun time. This past week, another boy walked me to my car and flirted with me a lot and I think that made this shy guy upset, because later online when I asked him how his day was, he said he went to the mall and this cute girl tried to get him to buy hand lotion and she told him he had beautiful eyes, but he didn't buy the lotion.

I don't know. What do you guys think? Thank you for responding!

[trickstir85]

I sense there would be a roller-coaster of emotions between you to. Obviously he is very much interested in you (that is very very obvious). But, at the same time he seems insecure/jealous (i. E his reaction toward you after that guys flirted with you). That is pretty immature that he would feel threatened. What would happen if you both got together & you started to hang-out with some guy friends? Would he give you a hard time? Does he have tendency to be overwhelming to the point where it would annoy you? These are important questions to ask yourself. What does you mean by he is passive-aggressive? Does he seem to exert some sort of emotional control over you (that you don't even seem to notice yourself). If so, I think this relationship would be too rocky with emotion. I sense a lot of passion. But, possible heart-ache. Of course, if you think you will look back on it and regret not taking chance. Then maybe you should. Please tell us more about this 'passive-aggressiveness' you allude to. THX.

[MissUnderstood4719]

I think you need to make a decision. Do you really like this guy? Would you consider dating him? If this is an obvious yes, than ask him how he feels about you. More than likely he is really into you and it appears he's shy so don't expect a direct answer. It may take awhile for him to come clean. For now I'd keep the flirting with other guiys on hold until you can sort this out. If you don't like him though, you need to tell him now instead of hurting him. Just give it time and everything should work out.

[epavlova]

He likes you. But it appears that he doesn't know how to move this forward. I mean, it was you who approached him initially to say hi. It was you who invited him to have lunch with your friends. It was you who asked him to hang out over break. Etc. You say he's shy. That may be an understatement. If you want this to move forward, you will probably have to keep pushing things along. But you seem to be doing a good job so far, so I guess just keep it up, and see where it goes. Good luck!

[Timeus]

I'm not entirely sure what your question is, but if you're curious as to how your relationship would play out because this guy shows more of his feelings from behind a computer screen then it could go one or two ways. If you like the guy enough to start a relationship with him, you could have fun introducing him to new things and he will most likely enjoy himself and thank you for it later. However, it also depends on him a little because you'll get tired of planning everything and knowing what's around every corner. It's known that most females like for a man to make the decisions and be spontaneous (which is why the Nice/Shy guy always finishes last, he doesn't do either of these which leads to a boring relationship. ) So, give him a chance if you like him, it may be a really good relationship.

[Asker]

I do like him. I definitely would agree that he is more passive-aggressive than I'd prefer, but I really feel like he is worth it. I guess my question, which I should have asked (silly me), is - do you think he likes me? I'm not entirely sure and I wanted some others opinions on it. Thank you Timeus :D

[mercutio]

Yes, this shy guy really, really likes you. All the Facebooking and mixed CD burning aside, the lie (yes, I'm almost sure it was a lie) about the girl at the mall is a dead giveaway. He saw the other guy flirting with you, which made him jealous. As such, he is trying to show you that he can get other women too, that he is just as attractive as you are and that he could, if he wanted to, go out with anyone else (but he has chosen you). A defense mechanism like this is a classic sign that a guy likes you, so if you like him back, you should tell him as soon as you're ready.

[Asker]

Thank you for the advice, mercutio. I appreciate it. And I hope to tell him soon. But I am so nervous. I am usually a very outgoing and friendly person, but I say the wrong things around him. I stutter. I can't look him in the eye for too long. I get very nervous. I think he knows this lol

[mercutio]

If you're telling him that you have feelings for him, I don't think he'll care how nervous you are :). Good luck!

[Edourdo]

Oh I am the same way as this guy you should let him know that the other guy means nothing to you and you like him instead I think this guy is the type you don't want to let go. If he's like me he would do anything for you. To test to see if he really does care allot try to let him know you like him and you want to patch things up. And then ask him if he ever thinks about what type of house he wants when he is older. If it were me once I met the girl I love I started to think about what type of house "we" would live in and you will hear there is a place in there for you

[Smittymd]

I think that this guy likes you very much, and you talking / flirting with someone else did make him a little jealous. The mall story probably didn't even happen, but he was trying to see if he could make you jealous. If you like this guy then you need to let him know and try not to play the mind games. If you don't think this relationship will go anywhere have enough respect to tell him. He is thinking that your friendship is more than just a friendship, so try to figure out what you wanna do with him and do it. Good Luck

[SedosaChiquita]

I think you identified the problem. That other guy that was taking your attention made shy guy a little upset!. Figure out a way to let shy guy know that you are really into him
that little story he told you sounds like a ploy to get your attention let him know it worked ;)

[medialus]

He is very interested in you. Are you in him? If not let him know before you do anything that would lead him on. You said he's amazing. Maybe you should try flirting a little. But it sounds to me like he's a nice guy. Give him a chance.