I didn't see this coming with this guy I met at work: why didn't he mention this relationship status?

[Anonymous]

So we work in the same service in that firm and spend a lot of time together every day, quite logically. He is gentle, a genuine guy, he walks me every evening to my bus stop, sometimes he even makes a detour and takes it with me to keep talking. He knows the area better than me so he also shows me around and we have lunch together very often. He's had flirty gestures (putting his hand on my lower back, when he hugs me goodbye he lingers a bit and has soft eyes, once or twice he even softly kissed my cheek), he compliments me sometimes and he seems caring (the other day he went ou without telling t to buy me coffee as i was tired) etc. We get along well, talk a lot, including about relationships, he never mentionned a girlfriend... but on Friday night as we were leaving work and walking as usual, i asked him what he was gonna do that evening. At first he said he was gonna meet with some friends, but after walking a few more minutes, he confessed to me that he actually had an appointment with his girlfriend to dump her cause he he didn't love her anymore and he needed to have the honesty to do it. I was shocked, he never mentionned her.
They've been together 2 years apparently. But still, before meeting her he spent 2 hours with me. But what should I think of that? Why did he delibarately not mention her?

[OlderAndWiser]

1. He was having problems with the girlfriend already. But when you think about dumping your SO, you think about being alone and how that sucks.

2. He met you.

3. He started liking you.

4. He started spending more time with you.

5. He started liking you even more.

6. He realized that he had a potential relationship waiting for him. He didn't want to screw it up by taking a chance on scaring you away, so he didn't tell you about the girlfriend. Or maybe he didn't want you to feel that you were breaking up a relationship. Or maybe he didn't want you to think you were "the other woman."

7. From your description, you have not yet had your first kiss, you haven't had your first date, so he hasn't been unfaithful in any way to you because he had no obligation of faithfulness to you.

8. He may have been "unfaithful" to his current girlfriend because he was pursuing a relationship with you when he was still with her, but this is not like sexual infidelity.

9. You probably would not have done some of the things you have done with him (like the little touching gestures) if you had known he had a girlfriend.

10. If he breaks up with the current girlfriend and you start dating. . . when you get to the point of saying "let's date exclusively," you need to make him promise that, if there is a problem, he will come to you and talk instead of just going out to find a new girlfriend.

[AleksanderSlovenija]

I think he could well like you!

please answer my question: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1478569-bad-self-esteem-rate-me-guess-ethnicity

[jarcher123]

Well, I'm in a similar situation to him, and I did something similar. He wants to dump her because he doesn't like her anymore which is the situation im in with my boyfriend yet im talking to another guy. The thing is, breaking up with someone is difficult, I hate the idea of hurting my boyfriend, but I just don't love him anymore, plus right now is the worst time to break up because he's doing all his exams and I don't want to affect them - maybe his girlfriend is going through something and he doesn't want to make it worse just yet. He probably does like you, he just didn't want you to get put off by the fact he has a girlfriend, but he did confess 'cause he wants you to know he can be honest. It seems like he likes you, and likes spending time with you, maybe his girlfriend never shows him interest but you do? Be happy that he told you, and respect that it might take him a little while to dump her, but allow him to act lovely around you 'cause he seems to like you. Hope this helps xo

[powertrip120]

Dont do ittt! He didn't mention her because he wanted to keep your attention but if he cared about either one of you, he wouldve let it be known.

"If he can do it with you, he'll do it to you", if he even really breaks up with his girl.

Plus, you dont wanna mix business with pleasure anyway lol

[RationalLioness]

Honest is the best policy. I think that's the route he took. He became more interested in you. I don't think he expected it to be like that though--he kind of fell for you.

[DaddyRollingStone]

Seems like he is fond of you, if he told you that he was with someone then you would probably back off a little bit.

Chances are that they have been having problems longer than he has known you and maybe you are what decided to push him over the edge to dump her.

[Klaatu51]

obviously he didn't coz u would find repellent da fact he had a girlfriend... no?

[Anonymous]

He's fallen for you unexpectedly. He's probably been having doubts about his girlfriend the whole time he's spent with you and now that he's decided he wants to break up with her it's time to tell you and be honest

[Anonymous]

Well I don't know