Why should I wait for the right girl? why should I let the right girl find me and pursue me? that is not true

[Anonymous]

I'm still single, never had a girlfriend in my entire life, never been in a relationship, it is so frustrating and depressing, I hate it how people always or usually say "you just haven't met the right one". Well I don't want my first girlfriend to become my wife. Anyway, what my point is that people always or usually say "just stop trying" or "just stop looking", "you will meet the right girl when you least expect it", "don't go looking for her, let her find you". I completely disagree with those phrases or words of advice, because haven't you forgotten that it's the guy's role to get himself a girlfriend? like girls do not actively pursue or chase guys, like girls do not make the first move or ask guys out, overall, us guys have to be the ones to initiate the date and relationship.

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+1 y

Why do people say those phrases or quotes to guys when in reality they are not true? girls do not literally pursue or chase guys, a guy does not get a girlfriend just standing still, however, girls do get a boyfriend standing still.

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+1 y

It's so frustrating, I'm in my early 20's and always have been single, I bet if I was a girl, I would have had a boyfriend a long time ago, because I think it's easier for a girl to get a boyfriend than it is for a guy to get a girlfriend.

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+1 y

I wish I was born with the social skills in order to get a girl

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+1 y

So why do people always say those bullsh*t quotes?

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+1 y

any girl or person who says those quotes or phrases is bullsh*t, because girls do not initiate, or at least very rarely, things with guys, so rare I'm not counting on it to happen.

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+1 y

it's much easier said than done

[Anonymous]

Definitely not so. My first kiss and boyfriend came at the age of 21. I consider myself -with risk of sounding arrogant- to be a pretty girl.

I feel like being single for so long comes all down to you and your attitude. I didn't have a boyfriend for the longest time and I realized it's because I'm a shy person, I don't go out much and meet new people, and I'm insecure with the opposite sex. Long story short, I did a little growing up and started going outside my comfort zone. I still don't date often, but I do. And if you look in the dating section, I actually just posted a question in regards to a guy I like and wish to actively pursue. It happens. Not often, but it does happen.

Frankly, I think anyone who says those "phrases" are saying them because they don't know what else to say.

Do some growing up, leave your comfort zone, grow a pair and approach a pretty girl. But you need to realize that if you haven't really had a relationship at this point there is a reason for it. You need to reflect on why that might be.

[Asker]

WELL EVEN IF YOU ARE A MAN AND YOU HAVE BALLS, YOU ARE STILL GOING TO GET REJECTED!!!!!!

[Asker]

Seriously, it's way easier for you girls

[Asker]

Why do you think I have not grown a pair? I have at least tried, just only to be rejected, and teased or lead on

[Opinion Owner]

Then try, try, try again! Practice makes perfect. Rejection happens; and if you're feeling defeated based on those experiences then you need to take a close look at your emotional health. Girls are very observant. We can tell if a guy is emotionally insecure and often times that's a turn off, most especially if the girl you're trying to ask out is fairly confident herself.

[Asker]

Yup, you are right, it's like girls are psychic or can read a guy's mind, "women's intuition", I hate that 6th sense that you women have, but that's just the way it is.

[airiver]

I do understand you point...This may sound silly to you but have you considered reading some good books on approaching women? Google it or start asking questions on the internet. The facts are not going to change so in order for you to be happier you have to change. Ask the guys where good places to meet women are...I'm sure you know but...Take a college class, join some clubs, go dancing now and then, and most of all...work on your confidence. You sound shy to me and to get over that you have to practice. Start by asking strangers in the grocery store if they know where the paper towels are for example...not silly, that's how most of us learn how to come out of our shells, buy doing it and practicing. And don't crawl back in your shell if you get told no thank you...Just keep on trucking~ Cheers!

[muddbubble]

Ok this is how I feel I don't know what type of person you are but I honestly feel that maybe you might be a little shy just break out of your comfort zone and try something different. And don't try so hard ease up a little on yourself I don't know what kind of girls you're attracted to but here's the thing I like it when guys are honest with me and I'm not saying when you meet someone be like hey I want a girlfriend because that would totally be weird but I really think you should try being a little less shy and just try to have fun. Most girls like fun people so if you're a fun person you should be ok

[Asker]

Why do you women have to be so damn picky about a guys behavior?

[Cyhhgg]

It only seems like they're picky because your boring.

Not making fun. It's true. If you were comfortable in your skin, then you wouldn't have this issue.

[l-hedoniste]

It's not their fault. When people want to be helpful but don't know how, they tend to babble. Try to be grateful that they wish you well.

Now, shape up your attitude. Self-pity sends women running. No one was born with the social skills to get girls. It's trial, error, hard work, practice, same as anything else.

If you NEED advice, get the advice of a guy who gets a lot of girls. Otherwise, watch the guy getting the girls, and do what he does. Don't ask why, and don't ask if it's right--do it.

[Asker]

No, I think most guys out there instinctively knew how to pull girls from day one, ever since they hit puberty.

[l-hedoniste]

That's a joke, right?

[Asker]

Really? every guy, or most guys, had to learn how to pull girls?

[l-hedoniste]

Yep. Hard lessons, thousands of them. Either aim low and settle, join a monastery, or grow a hide.

[Cyhhgg]

It's true. You gotta fail to succeed.

[GIntrovert]

I agree, any girl who tells you to stop looking is BSing you.

There are only a small group of woman who are brave enough to initiate anything with a guy... and guess what, they usual get what they want pretty quick so the likely hood of running into one is slim at best.

[Asker]

Yeah I have heard that there are some women out there who do initiate, but since it is so rare I'm not counting on it to happen

[GIntrovert]

I've run into 3! lol.. but I live in a country were people don't look down on women who initiate...

[samarabelle]

When you're first meeting a girl, don't be looking for a girlfriend. Make friends, and if you feel like she might like you ask her out. If you get rejected, it f***ing hurts, everyone knows that, but move on and find another girl you like to pursue. There are so many women in the world that eventually one of them will date you.

I know that wasn't exactly a cup of hot coco answer, but I'm trying to be blunt so you get it. It's going to happen eventually no matter what you do, beyond shutting yourself in a room and locking the door or hitting every girl you meet with a baseball bat.

[frustratedchump06]

Easier said than done

[frustratedchump06]

I agree with him

[airiver]

Sorry I can't answer for the world but...Why is it that you haven't had a girlfriend? Are you shy or lack in social skills? Not trying to sound mean just curious. I can't believe that you have been turned away at every corner...My intuitive mind tells me there's more to the story...

[Asker]

Lack in social skills and I'm not outgoing, seriously, you women have it so much easier since us guys have to do all the work

[wildfire5288]

OK either get a sex change to become a girl and get the relationship you want or stop b*tching, man up, and go meet some girls! You're right, for the most part girls are approached by guys, guys at the very least initiate that first bit of contact, and guys wind up risking rejection way more than girls but that's the way it is and there's really not a whole lot you can do about it. I'll tell you what doesn't work, complaining about how you're p*ssed because girls don't come up to you and ask you to be their boyfriend. You just said so yourself, it's the guys role to go out and get a girlfriend so go out and get one.

And I happen to agree with those phrases that you insist are complete crap. My last boyfriend I started dating when I wasn't looking for anyone and everyone that I know now that's in a relationship didn't go actively looking for one and in some cases weren't that impressed with the guys they're dating now when they first met them.

[Asker]

Well every time I man up and grow a pair, I get rejected, I hate rejection with such a huge passion, so much I feel like hitting the girl

[Asker]

I know that it's the way it is, but that doesn't mean I have to like it, I hate that status quo in our society and culture, because I suck at taking the initiative, I'm not scared, it's just that every time I try, I fail.

[wildfire5288]

Well complaining about it isn't gonna change anything so just deal with it

[Asker]

Well how would you feel if you had been rejected and teased, lead on too many times? I have every right to have that negative attitude

[wildfire5288]

Ok fine have a negative attitude, that will really help your case, girls love the guy standing in the corner who looks p*ssed and we really wanna know why he hates the world so we can rush to his aid and make it all better. Sounds to me like you're bringing on all of your girl problems yourself by wallowing in your own misery

[Asker]

Thats what I hate about you women, that you are so picky about a guy's mentality, way of thinking, attitude, behavior

[Asker]

Girls get easy dates standing still

[Cyhhgg]

Why would you hate a person for not wanting to share a life with someone who hates the opposite sex, is insensitive and quite frankly, insecure with themselves?

Answer: because I just want to get laid! Wahhhhhhh!! Boo fucking hoo. Grow. The. Fuck. Up!