Why should I believe I will get a girlfriend eventually? that I will meet the right girl? I have never had

[Anonymous]

a girlfriend before in my entire life, I'm 24, seriously, why should I believe that there is a girl out there that will like me, love me for who I am, people say "don't stress too much about it, there are girls out there who will appreciate me, I just gotta be patient" SERIOUSLY, HOW IS THAT VALID? HOW IS THAT A GUARANTEE?

Also, is it wrong of me that I would rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? I don't want to marry my first ever girlfriend, that is if I get one, I don't want my first girlfriend to become my wife. Is it wrong that I would rather get cheated on, get my heart broken, be in a negative, difficult relationship than not be in any relationship at all? Because I want to get the experience, it will help me grow as a person, c'mon, the more relationships, the more exes a person has been in, the easier it is for them to get a new relationship, I've been rejected too many times, I most recently had a first date, first meeting with a girl last week, but she is not interested in me anymore, we met on OkCupid, online, and she told me she realizes she does not have time for a relationship and dating at this point, and I know she is just trying to let me down easily, because if a girl is truly interested in you, no matter how much of a busy life she has, she will do her best to make time for the guy she is interested in, but that was not the case for me.

Updates

+1 y

I'm not that outgoing, I know I obviously have to change that, but I don't have many friends, so meeting new people is a struggle for me, it always seems that most people meet their potential boyfriend/girlfriend through mutual friends, friends of friends, through people, etc., but I don't really have that option since I don't have much friends, I would say I only have one true friend who I have been friends with since 6th grade, the beginning of middle school

Updates

+1 y

Should I just committ suicide? should I just kill myself? I have no luck with online dating either, seriously, why do people always say there is someone out there for everyone? are they really sure about that? why should I believe there is a girl out there that will accept me, that will be interested in me? like me or love me for who I am? why should I believe that? what's the point of living if I'm never going to experience companionship with the oppossite gender? looks pointless to me

[CatholicVirginia]

It is normal to rather have loved and lost, especially when you have never loved at all. I myself just had my first bad breakup, and I don't regret a thing. Yes, I wasted a year and a half of my life on this guy. Yes, he hurt me in the end. But I don't regret a thing because what he made me feel over that year and a half was amazing. No amount of pain would make me compromise those feelings. I knew that the relationship was rocky, and I stil threw myself into a hundred percent, knowing I could possibly get hurt, because what I felt was worth whatever could happen. The breakup happened in one of the worst ways possible; I am still devastated, but I wouldn't change a thing if I could.

That being said, you might want to rethink this idea you have that you cannot marry your first love. You have no idea what destiny has in store, so don't be so quick to judge. You might end up settling down with your first love; that wouldn't be terrible. I say keep an open mind about it.

The fact of the matter is human beings are social creatures. The odds are greatly against us living our entire lives alone. At some point, SOMEONE is going to want to socialize with us. As long as you keep trying, you WILL find someone; mathematically, you simply have to. The trick is to keep yourself from getting jaded, because once you're jaded and the time finally does come, that will compromise your relationship. I know, it's easier to say don't stress than it is to actually not stress. I sympathize; I'm a late bloomer in these things myself. But at some point, you have to realize that there is very little you can do but throw yourself out there. You have no other control, and you'll hurt a lot less and enjoy the ride a lot more if you just go with the flow. And when you're feeling lonely or hurt, get those feelings off of your chest. Talk to someone on here, myself included. We all know that love is the hardest game to play, but it's also the most rewarding.

[CatholicVirginia]

You simply have to go out and meet new people, or rely on that one friend and maybe some family to set you up? Are you still in school? You're doing great by going on online dating sites! That's a good step.

[Asker]

seriously, I hate how girls can easily get a boyfriend by staying at home, never or rarely going out, they can easily just sit at home or in bed, and a guy will come knocking on the door, but never the case for us guys, pisses me off

[CatholicVirginia]

Really? 'Cause I don't have a boyfriend, and God knows I tried, and I put myself out there, and I got destroyed.

Stop looking at just yourself. Everyone has relationship problems.

[Asker]

well okay, I just hate how we guys always have to make the first move, initiate, but there is nothing I can do or anyone can do to change that

[CatholicVirginia]

Once again, not always true. That's the stereotype, because that's how it was of old. Girls do initiate.

But the fact of the matter is, if you aren't going to go after what you want, then you can't complain when you don't get it. That goes for males and females BOTH.

[Asker]

true, there are girls that initiate but it is very rare, do you know of relationships that turned out to be great, successful, in which the girl initiated? because many people argue against it

[DinaColada]

There is no need to be patient. Now is the time to work on yourself and get some dates.

I think it's totally natural for you to want any relationship. Even bad relationships are great for learning about yourself and the opposite gender. But good ones are even better.

If someone is interested, they will make time, unless they're playing games.

I can help you be more confident and attract more women.

Maybe your online profile needs work, and the way you approach women maybe has something to do with it. We need to work on some things together.

Please message me and I will help you get your dating life together! I have an OK Cuoid profile, so I can look it over. Please message me for a free consultation.

Dina

Follow me on Twitter!

link

[Asker]

i sent you a friend request

[DinaColada]

You can send me a personal message with specific questions.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing glorious about being treated badly. Not sure where you got that odd idea. Also, a person can learn just as much from one pretty good relationship than they can from a string of miserable ones -- especially as some people make the same mistake over and over again. You're romanticizing what you don't have, like people who think shooting heroin is edgy and hip. Make yourself as appealing as possible and keep putting yourself out there in hopes of finding a nice relationship that makes you feel fulfilled and satisfied, not hoping for some trauma and drama in your life.

[Asker]

yeah well I just want to get the experience, I want to finally end the single streak by whatever means neccessary

[Opinion Owner]

keep working on self improvement and keep trying. also, consider paid dating sites ... they are higher quality in most cases.

[Asker]

why do we guys have to improve ourselves more than you girls do?

[Opinion Owner]

You don't, it only seems that way to you.

[Asker]

are you saying girls have to work on themselves more?

[Opinion Owner]

I'd say it's about equal. The majority of us are not the people who can pull dates with any person they desire without work . But often, we gaze at a few people of the opposite gender who are particularly blessed and think "It's so damn easy for them!" In reality, a select few do have it easier when it comes to getting attention from the opposite gender, but most people don't. And even those who do have a hard time with quality relationships.

[Asker]

well guys will date an insecure girl, but girls will almost never date an insecure guy

[Opinion Owner]

You're speaking for guys without many options ... yes, they would date about anyone as long as they find her attractive. But, so would many girls -- but a lot of guys don't give the girls without options a second look...

[Asker]

yeah but still, insecurity hurts guys more than girls

[Opinion Owner]

The longer you cling to your self-protecting generalizations, the harder it will be to break free of them. They hold you down. Been there, done that.

[PHILR]

in a way I feel I can answer this question. you see at the age of 65 I've been there done that thing lol. I was the paradnoid shy quiet nice guy that remained dateless through out his high school stay. matter of fact my sister took pitty on me and set me up with one of her girlfriends that wanted to go to prom my jr. yr. yep some would call that pretty pathetic and it was.

here's what I found out as I got older and somewhat smarter (or so it seems lol) that I was being flirted with by girls (some very pretty ones by the wayt) and didn't know it. why because most girls use body language to flirt. its subtle and many of us guys don't or can't tell what's going on before our eyes in many cases. yes many girls will tell guys what you said. youyr a nice guy andsome girl(in the future, justnot me) will be so happy to be with you. yes many of us nice guys have expeirenced that from girls . the situatioin though is basicaly there right.

back to body language do a google on shy girls body language and shy girls body signs. read at least 10differing artilces I suggest even more . yes there will be repaet info on somethings but each artilce will give you more and more to think about and you may suddenly realize "yeah , I remeber that girl doing just exactly that " most likely she was flirting with you . you didn't respond back so unless she was desperatly trying to get your attention she back off and maybe started trying with another guy. I gave this to one guy and he said he didn;'t need dating tips well if your not having luck getting a girlfriend that actually wants you then what's the problem in finding out what girls are actually attracted to you and then play up to that. stop and think about it.

[Anonymous]

I feel your pain man, seriously, I f***in' hate, why is it that the traits, attributes, that make a guy attractive to girls, make him successful with girls, also make him successful in life, seriously, it pisses me off, I hate how people say I'm supposed to want to have those traits, NO I DO NOT, I DON'T WANT TO F***IN' HAVE THOSE TRAITS!, Well obviously, I'm not a good-looking guy, not hot, and obviously, attractive people in general, hot, good-looking, male or female, are always going to have it easier in attracting somebody, getting a date/relationship, but I feel that good-looking, hot, cute, pretty girls have it easier than a hot, handsome, good-looking guy. Because for the most part, if a girl is hot, cute, pretty, guys will be attracted to her instantly, they will literally fall for her from the moment they lock eyes on her, when a guy approaches a girl, it's almost ALWAYS because he found her attractive, physically attractive, looks-wise, why do you think it is always the hot, cute, pretty, good-looking girls that have boyfriends? are almost never single? and often these relationships girls are in are serious, they last more than a year, and why do you think they easily get boyfriends? it does not take rocket science to figure that out, also, it's easier to attract people with your looks, body, than it is with your personality, social-skills, confidence, attitude, mentality, character, etc. Because if a guy has a negative, boring personality or just not interesting personality, it does not matter how hot, good-looking, attractive he is, girls will not accept him, meanwhile, yes personality is important in girls, but as important in guys.

[frustratedchump06]

i think you mean not as important in guys

[Blackbeard79]

There are no guarantees in life. Children are born into a life of starvation or abuse and life is not guaranteed to be fair or easy. Do you put yourself in a locations and situations where you will be able to meet the type of woman that will be able to appreciate you? Or, do you take for granted that you will just meet a woman in your day to day life. Put yourself in a setting where you can meet the right kind of woman for you, then rela, be yourself and when the opportunity is there let yourself shine. Remember that women prefer someone that is confident and fun for them to be around.

[WoodWizzard87]

If you never put yourself out there, you'll never know if she was the one that you would have dated long term or married. Dating is suppose to be "Proactive", you can't sit on your ass and expect that she's gonna drop down into your lap.

[Asker]

how do you be proactive and at the same time not be desperate, avoid trying too hard?

[socalgamehater2006]

just keep thinking to yourself, there are people in worse situations than you are, people who have not experienced or done, or still never had not only a relationship or sex

[PHILR]

AGAIN I HATE THOSE RESPONSE BOXES LOL . GIRLS HAVE BODY LANGUAGE AND SIGNALS ALSO BUT OVER 100 OF THEM AND MANY VERY SUBTLE . SHY GUYS AND GUYS IN GENERAL MOST OF THEME DON'T PICK UP ON THEM BECAUSE WE'RE CLUELESS LOL.

[frustratedchump06]

yeah, I don't believe there is someone for everyone

[TokusatsuComicLover]

tell me about it, geeze