Do most men dislike their girlfriend's/wife's male doctor?

[xhelloxkittyx]

I've been seeing my family doctor for upwards of 13 years. He was the first doctor I saw when I moved to my current location. My boyfriend isn't possessive at all typically, so I found it odd when he got upset that I was scheduling a pap with my regular doctor. I was raped at 16 & my doctor helped me through it, so now at 21, he's the only one with whom I feel comfortable. My boyfriend knows that, but "still doesn't like it". He said he doesn't like the thought of someone else looking at me. No matter how I explain it, he still "doesn't like it". He isn't preventing me from going or anything, he just keeps harping on it. I'm completely honest with him, I tell him the way he acts about it irritates me. Then he asks me "If I was getting my area checked out would you want a female doing it?" And my answer is yes, if she's your regular doctor and you're comfortable with her, of course! So I honestly don't see his point. He's told me that most men don't want another man looking at their girlfriends/wives. Is this honestly what men think if their woman's doctor is a man? My doctor isn't creepy, he's never been anything less than respectful and ethical. I just don't get it. Help!

[amanthatcares]

i have had experience with this and as a huband of over ten years I can tell you that these feelings never go away. my wife was seen by a male a couple of times and it made me very angry and then depressed for a little while afterward. in my opinion it is unethical and wrong for a male doctor to do these exams. just think, if this exam had to be rated movie wise, what rating would you give it? pg, r, probably 'x'. so I can definitely relate to your boyfreind. every girlfreind that I ever had would always switch for me when I told them it bothered me, and now my wife will only see a female as long as there is no emergency, and even then she will try because she knows it upsets me. I have tried every logical argument, talked to a lot of my own freinds, but nothing has ever made it OK. I went to an exam once...big mistake it only made it worse because I had all the sights sounds and even smells in my head to drive me bonkers. if you won't switch for him then I would have to say who do love more, him, or the doctor. I hope that it is him. and yes, a lot of men feel this way in some fashion, but maybe not all get so depressed and angry over it as some of us do. maybe it has to do with left-brain, right-brain I don't know. but it is an issue more than you think it is. and like him I am not controlling or jealous most of the time if anything my wife is the jealous one she gets mad if I look at a woman on TV to long! and she has even told me she didn't think a man could look at a woman in a bikini and not think anything, so how can a man be a gyno that not only gets to look but touch and feel as well and not think anything about it? I read that at least 25% of gynos admited to erotic contact of some kind with pateints...kinda makes you think, and how do you know which ones will fall into the 25%? but there is slim to no chance of any sexual abuse by a female doc even if she were to be a lesbian(which I have had told to me as a counter argument.) I say that a male doctor is still a man and still has the sexual thoughts every 45 seconds(average) just like every other man does, so going to a male gyno is like asking a man to hold his breath underwater for 20 minutes!

[mrledzep]

No, he is being ridiculous, having another man look at you would be something to have a discussion about, but your doctor? Come on, that's just stupid. He is obviuously being way too possessive of you.

[InDerVille]

There's no way I could be with a woman who had men examining her intimate parts like that. I would just be miserable. Anyway for me, I just don't want a man seeing or touching my wife there. That is private, intimate and it feels like a violation to me. I don't think it is sexual it is just way to intimate of an exam for a man to be involved when it comes to my wife. The man could be gay, he could be blind. It wouldn't make one bit of difference. Part of our intimacy would be violated.

[LordSilvertongue]

@InDerVille
You said it! 👌👌👌

[Anonymous]

well, my boyfriend ain't really the jelous controling type either, but it bugged him that I had a dude dr down in my area

[InDerVille]

You seem to word it as if, if only your man understood that it is not sexual or could be convinced that your doctor was really good than everything should be OK. I don't this will ever be the case. I don't think you and he are compatible and probably shouldn't be together. My wife goes to an all woman practice and wouldn't let a man do that exam. I dated a girl once who went to a man. It ate me up inside and as a result actually became one of the "qualities" I looked for when looking for a long term relationship.

[CallMeDave]

I happened upon this question while looking for something else. I have no idea how old this is because GaG doesn't show time for anything over a week old. I'm wondering whether you've resolved this situation with your boyfriend in a way that you are both satisfied with.

If so, and you're wiling to share the solution, I'd be interested in it. I've seen similar questions before and probably will again so it would be good to know a good solution if there is one.

If it's still an issue for you and/or your boyfriend and you'd like to discuss it further, let me know. I might be able to share some insight that will help you understand his concern and why it's probably important to address it. Private message is probably best since it could be a fairly long discussion, but I can post here if you'd prefer.

[KERMlT]

Set him straight.

A person who cleans a house all day long will probably have the messiest house themselves.

An electrician will probably have his house wired mickey mouse style instead of by code.

A massotherapist probably doesn't give their partner massages.

Do you see my point? A male gyno probably will never eat box again because of all the patients he sees. He might not like the idea and he should get over it. At the very least, he should keep his objections (past the first one) to himself.

[InDerVille]

. I don't think he'll ever be OK with it and I would say you need to go only to a woman when an intimate area is exanined or you two need to break up. Not that either of you is wrong or right. You just aren't compatible in this area of what other human are allowed to see you nude and to actually touch you. Some women prefer women doctors and the thought of a man doing that to them is disgusting some women women prefer men. Some men don't care if a man toues their special someone some feel a deep intimate vilation over it. Two people compatible in this area need to be together not two opposites.

[Careless_Whisper]

There have been many cases of male doctors losing their license for sexual misconduct. They are still men. Why is it so hard for women to understand that it's perfectly normal for a man who loves his girlfriend to feel upset that another man is going to be examining her most private area? Just because he has a medical license doesn't mean he can't look at women sexually. And why are so many women so keen on exposing themselves to male doctors? Very strange.

[LordSilvertongue]

To be extremely blunt. I hate it when my girlfriend goes to male doctors.
I just hate it. I can't exactly explain it.
Maybe it's a "boy-thing".
I would much rather have a female doctor touching my girlfriend rather than a male doctor. If I were in my girlfriend's shoes, I would never go to a male doctor if it meant he had to touch me! Not just the privates, but no touching anywhere.

[apple24]

They are doctors not lovers.