When a girl claims she just lost feelings for you, what can it mean?

Let's get this clear, she ADORED me. But then one day after 5 months, right out of the blue she decided she just lost her feelings for me and wanted to break up. I wanted to know why. She couldn't come up with a single valid reason. I hadn't done anything wrong and she cried when I told her that I did not want to be friends after this.

But it's so weird, because it really came out of nowhere. I thought our relationship was perfect. She was crazy about me, and I about her, but all of a sudden she just decided she didn't wan to be with me anymore. There was no fight that led up to it, our sex life was fantastic, I just don't know what happened.

I mean the only explanation I can get is that she just fell out of love with me. But I just don't get how that happens and it doesn't feel like enough of an explanation. And is it possible for her feelings to come back after making that decision? She took her time with it and really thought it through before breaking up because I don't think she was all too keen on hurting me.

I just want to know how it happens. And if there's any chance she'll wake up and realize that she misses me and wants me back.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Alright sir. Let's take a step back.

    You'e right. These things never happen just out of the blue (but they always seem like they do!). The fact of the matter is that she's been falling out of love with you for awhile. Why? Because that is reality, and reality makes sense. Whether it's been weeks or months, it's been happening for awhile so hopefully I can make you see this as you reflect on the things that have happened between you and her in the past little while. You haven't revealed any details about recent events, but if you look back I'm sure you will start seeing red flags as you read this.

    The woman's answer to this behaviour is the movie "500 days of Summer". (Read about it, and you'll find it never gives you answers to a woman's behaviour, but to simply accept life as it is). The man's answer is that a woman's feelings don't die - it wanes as a result of a man's actions and reactions to his woman. I prefer this explanation.

    So I want you to look back at everything that happened to you and your girl. Maybe you guys have been spending every possible moment together. Did she ever have a chance to miss you? How often did you hang out with your buddies? Are you a CHALLENGE for her, do you intrigue her and make her work for your attention and respect? What about your own aspirations? Did they take a backseat for your girl? Were you two jealous of each other at all?

    Did you ever take a backseat at being a man with your own dreams so you could please her, be with her, etc?

    What I'm trying to get at, is that even though things are great on the surface, there is ALWAYS a reason. Simply "falling out of love" is not one of them, that's a RESULT. However, in general, what generally happens is that a woman is evaluating you as long-term material, and if you aren't a man who can fit the bill, you're gone. And the sad thing is, she will never know the reasons why, because a lot of the time it's subconscious.

    But please, provide more details, because it's hard to tell what's going on from what you've posted.

    • First off, she said she literally lost feelings for me after one day. That one day she adored me, and that very next day she woke up with second thoughts.

      The only thing I could have done wrong was lacking in the challenge department. I was awesome at it at first, but I kind of got bored of being a challenge after we had really settled down. I figured it wasn't necessary. Not to say I didn't still make her work from time to time, but yeah I wasn't the same as I was in the beginning.

    • Ok you will understand one day that people don't lose feelings after one day. They simply stop acting after one day.

      But the fact that you stopped being a challenge is a huge factor. What makes you think that she will stay with you if you stop being a Challenge? Isn't that what attracted her to you in the first place? Remember - don't ever stop being a challenge.

      Just ask any woman out there - probably the most important quality us men should have.

    • In response to your other question about whether she will come back:

      Yeah it's possible. Happens all the time. But since you haven't changed yourself, it won't last. And since she hasn't changed, it won't last either.

      Do yourself a favor and forget about her :) you deserve better.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • This is easy, because I do this all the time to guys ( I'm not a jerk btw lol) but she prob met another guy, got bored or was just bored and wanted someone to talk to and be with. Sometimes girls don't care about the guy they are with as long as they are with someone...usually this means the girl is clingy. That's my opinion.

    • I don't think that's completely it. For a while her happiness was me, that was obvious. I wasn't just anyone to her, people could see it. She claims that there is no one else, and I'm not completely sure about that one. I think she may have drunkenly cheated and broke up with me out of remorse and just couldn't bear to tell me the real reason (but I really don't want to believe that).

What Guys Said 1

  • I'm sorry about what happens to you. You seem to care about her a lot. Okay, here's the thing, people don't just wake up one morning and fell out of love with someone. You miss all the trouble signs that your relationship was going down the drain. The truth is that she's no longer interested in you that's why she left you. It doesn't matter if she didn't intended on hurting you, you still going to get hurt no matter how she phrase it. Right now you're looking for a reason why she broke up with you. When you thought your relationship was perfect as a matter of fact your relationship was in serious trouble. A relationship is a partnership between two people. If one person fells out than the partnership ends no matter how great the other partner is. The partner that ends the relationship first get hurt the least. Right now, you're hurt by what happens but I don't think she feels the same way. And I don't think there's a chance that she will wake up and realize that she misses you and wants you back. Of course that's what we say to ourselves in order to give us hope and comfort but we need to face the reality. She isn't coming back. You need to let her go from your mind and heart. That's the only way for you to get back to your normal self again. Good luck.