Why do guys not approach women, then complain about being single?

Question

I pointed out that you have to make an effort when it comes to approaching women in dating, and got HATE for it.

I mean, isn't it true? Isn't it common sense to except the fact that you have to make conversation if you want to get a girl to like you? I thought it was.

Guys will argue, "But I am scared of rejection!" Or Well, we want to avoid a lot of things, but sometimes you need to take the chance and ask her. Don't fear rejection or anything. Same thing goes for women who want to approach guys too. There's this thing called preservereance; keep trying until someone appreciates your efforts.

I don't why guys on here are so quick to get offended when you are just pointing out the truth and trying to get them to better themselves. If you want women, then go up and say hi. Every woman is different. One may come along and feel the same about you. You don't know that.

IceCubedude · Accepted Answer

You have a reasonable question , why dont guys approach girls?

i will talk about myself and iam not sure about other guys... growing up till 18 i was overweight and unattractive, but after that i managed to lose weight and have a better healthier lifestyle, i grew a light beard, i met lots of peopel and made penty of friends, got a job, got into college and became funny, witty and confident, and changed my entire wardrobe, i became a chick magnet, simply put i can enter a room and have the hottest girl crushing on me , that gave me confidence i talk to girls with confidence, joke around with them, they like me, like my style and my jokes want to be around me... etc

but these are girls i meet through my classes or through mutual friends, but what about those hot girls who eye me around campus, smile at me and sedictively stare to make me approach, why dont i approach them? well i used to think that such behaviour meant the girl is single , however i was wrong, a super hot chick whom showed huge amounts of interest in me and couldnt keep her eyes off me over the span of few months (even my friends noticed and they told me) turned out to be taken once i tried talking to her on facebook.

from that day on i started ntoicing attractive girls around campus acting the same, lots of looks, eye contact, sometimes smiles and some acted like they have a crush or something, of course naturally i wanted to approach all of them but the more i invistigated said girls the more i realized a large number of them have bfs which saved me from wasting my time trying to get them.

in short the reason i dont approach every girl that shows interest in me is because a lot of the girls who acted like that turned out to be taken.

Zamac · Accepted Answer

I think that the problem about this is not exactly the soreness of being rejected, but that '80% of women want 20% of men' thing. Usually, women are pickier than men considering the looks (and, later, wealthiness), and it is a hard time for some lower self esteemed average- looking guys to approach girls on the same league when these girls have eyes only to studs and such.

It depends on the person, ofc. Being 'suave' gets a lot more points.

From another perspective, there is also a quantity of women who feel entitled and scare some good men with it.

ebbyeb · Accepted Answer

Yeah I completely agree with you. I think in part, it's because people are lazy. Nobody wants to do the work and commit to these kinds of things. Everyone would just love someone else to. That being said, if one were to wholeheartedly admit that they'd prefer someone else to do the work, then okay, you can't complain about being single seeing as you're not doing any of the approaching yourself lol. It's common sense, if you really and truly want something, you'd work for it.

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

The reason it pisses people off is because women are less willing to approach, so men feel a lot of pressure is put on them as a result.

MrOracle · Answer

Asker, you are absolutely right that men need to sack up and ask women out, and they need to EXPECT to be rejected most of the time, and they need to be totally okay with that and not let it bother them, and need to accept rejection with some grace and dignity. And I say that as a not-very-good-looking guy who has been rejected a whole lot over the years.

Being rejected IS kind of awful - and some women can be incredibly cruel and mean about it - but it's STILL part of the game, and doing it anyway and dealing with the rejection will toughen you up and you'll come to realize that not only won't it kill you, but it won't even hurt you if you don't let it.

The problem is that so many guys are too afraid to ask a girl out right away. He'll meet a girl, and within a couple of hours or a couple of days, he'll know he likes her, and instead of taking the initiative as soon as he realizes he likes her, he waits. He wants to wait until things are "safe" - when no one else is a round, when she seems like she's in a good mood, until after he's made friends with her, or whatever. He's hoping to stack the deck in his favor a little (sometimes a lot!) before he asks her. And inevitably, this takes weeks, months, sometimes even years, and usually she's in another relationship before he has a chance to ask her. It's crazy, but so many guys are so terrified of rejection that they do this. I know I did that when I was a teen and in my early 20s, so I know exactly what these guys are feeling, but I was doing it wrong, and so are they.

Yes, it's HARD to ask out girls sometimes, but if you don't take chances, you don't get rewards. In my late teens and early 20s, I would have occasional bursts of confidence, and I'd ask girls out, and, yeah, I got shot down many times, but I also got some "yes" answers that led to dates and girlfriends. Those rejections definitely hurt, but during those times of confidence, I resolved to do it anyway, and I eventually realized that being able to suffer those moments of pain was the thing that led to the eventual reward - and that, the pain of rejection really wasn't all that awful after all.

It's a tough lesson - so many of the best lessons are - but it's the difference between winning and losing. It's much the same reason why I have my own business and don't have to get up every morning and go to a job where someone else makes far more money off of my labors than I do. Starting and running a company isn't easy, and being responsible for it 364 days a year isn't easy, but it's still better - to me, anyway - than being so afraid that you stick with a job you don't enjoy.

No one ever enjoys being told that they have to do hard work and make sacrifices, but that's the truth for most people. Sure, a few people have privilege (pretty privilege or wealth privilege or whatever) and these things come easily for them, but the vast majority of us have to really work at it if we want any success - and we have to be willing to fail some of the time as part of the process. That's just how life works.

Sekoy · Answer

*stitch voice*
Okay, okay

don't worry I get where you're coming from but this is too long of an explanation for why this is the case so I'll try and make it short.

1) guys have always been the hunters, going in to ask for the name, number, etc. Although as society evolved, we grew this monster of a man that was so beautiful, we witnessed girls breaking their roles because of the guys of that type, going up and making the first move that men are supposed to do. since then many men wanted that treatment.

2) in our day and age of society with all the feminism and evolution of what is "politically correct" and such, guys have reached the bottom of the barrel when it comes to their relationship with females. Nowadays we are being compared to Rom com guys just as ironically as guys compare girls to porn stars. the only difference is that whereas the porn stars are very fake, If a guy seems to even do anything close to what happens in rom-coms, they can easily be fined and accused for charges that used to be extreme. it's gotten to the point that we don't fear rejection; we fear our lives being ruined by a wrong decision of who we fall attracted to.

hahahmm · Answer

Because those guys were raised in a world that told them men & women are the same and they haven't completely woken up/accepted the fact that female nature is to want everything traditional that benefits her while wanting everything modern for herself... unless she meets a guy she really wants with the backbone to say "it's not happening the way you want". So anyhow... there's a lot of confusion in the world today. Ultimately it's the result of people being taught that you can have everything you want in life without having to make sacrifices or have responsibilities.

fermatote · Answer

Why dont girls do this? Let me make it clear, every night in clubs/bar dozens of girls awkwardly stand in front of me (some starts to touch, glance shyly etc). Why can't they just approach and say "Hi", instead of waiting for guy to start verbal conversation.

JohnDoe3000 · Answer

What do you mean by "approach"? Cold approaching or just starting a conversation at a party with mutual friends?

Most people don't meet their partners through cold approaches. Most people meet through friends or at work or something like that, and approaches without approach invitations are pointless.

Kasper_sefi · Answer

i am definitlet one of those guys that are so goddamn shy to even aproach a girl and even ask them out but you have a point. guys have to make an effort for the person they like and if it ends with rejection give it sometime it will heal. that being said im still too damn shy to doit

Anonymous · Answer

I approached many girls but they all rejected me bcoz they were looking for more rich, more tall, more handsome and guy with six packs abs.
I am an educated simple guy, rich, 5 ft 7 inch height, average handsome, no six packs abs. I'm not a supermodel, I will hit the gym if my girlfriend wants it. But all girls rejected me without even discussing about all the things. They just rejected me. 😞😔😟 All girls think that if they wait for some more time they will get a perfect life partner👬. Girls will never understand a good man's feelings.

SirRexington · Answer

1: fear of rejection.
2: fear she might be lesbian
3: the girl turns out to be a bitch
4: it's their friend and she is too important to them
5: they say no due to not wanting to date anyone then turn around and date some douche bag.

MarkRet · Answer

I've been married for a long time, but before that, I was such a coward. I didn't complain about being single, just suffered in silence.

Prof_Don · Answer

These men want a woman to approach them, for equality reasons... and are very stubborn about this.

meatballs21 · Answer

Why do girls not approach guys, and then complain about being single?

Ovidiu-Nicolae · Answer

Because I'm socially awkward, and girls want different things that I can offer so is not worth bothering even if I like her.
Secondly what if I only liked her before dating.. I don't want her to feel deisapointement or to play with her fellings

Tony1974 · Answer

I want to be equal with women... I can't complain about being single? I haven't been asked out on a date in years...

JensonStatement · Answer

I understand your point but some just can't. I can't do it either because i dove into concrete head first. About the complaining you're fully right. i'm also sick of it. If you suffer suffer in quiteness.

Lucifer_666 · Answer

I totally agree with you. The problem is a lot of people lack confidence and are afraid to take risks

CT_CD · Answer

Because I want her to approach me and buy me a drink and ask for my number.

CyberToothTiger · Answer

Some guys are afraid to be looked upon as being a creeper.

Bandit74 · Answer

Why do girls not approach men, and then complain about being single?

Anonymous · Answer

Lol women do the exact same thing, more often then men. They complain about men or being single, say they're traditional, want to be "chased", or like being approached

samcool092 · Answer

why can't girls be simple and not make the approach a big deal?

Why do guys not approach women, then complain about being single?

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