Are guys destined to be single forever if they don't approach women?

Question

Are guys destined to never have a girlfriend if they don't actively approach women in public even if guy is good looking, nice, etc?

Axiom · Accepted Answer

Yes! My friend who is not always the nicest guy, but really smart claims: the top 10% of men (great physical shape, financially secure, charismatic...) date multiple women in a given lifetime or just time (though I personally frown on cheating sometimes I wish I was born a narcassist). The bottom 10% of men are not dating at all. For the remaining 80% in the middle, I think it depends on timing, style, mood(s), poise, chatability, wit...). I hate to agree with what my friend says, but he's right. The only way any of us will step into a dating world beyond our comfort zone which basically limits us to high school associates, mutual friends and the girl who works at the gas station around the corner, is to become one of the top 10%, or closer to that. This is done with research about psychology, work, saving money, working out, eating right, keeping the vibe (I like to call it), cultivating art forms & friendships. A healthy male who grinds and who knows how to talk to women and make them laugh, not just like some duche, is a succesful dater. I'm not implying some Hollywood cookie cutter man. Different things work for different people. They want us to talk to them. I'm shy like you (guessing), but make it something trivial to test the vibe. One day at college I asked a girl if she hated the school? She said yes, now we're emailing, but I'm too hung up on my ex sux 4 me, but if you're still young believe in thyself. Godspeed.

Moloch · Accepted Answer

Stop rationalizing the approach and just do it. You have NO choice.

Anonymous4135 · Accepted Answer

I don't think so. I mean if you go anywhere such as social events, bars, clubs, etc You're bound to talk to a girl. Whether you instigate it or not. But the part that does rely solely on you is how you control the situation. If your not confident in what you're saying and interacting the girl most likely won't get a feel for you. Group outings are always the best when your shy. If you friend invites you to hang out with so and so take the opportunity and just act like you normally would with your buds. Which I'm assuming is something worry free and fun. Hopefully

I'm a very shy person as well. And I had just recently found a guy I was truly attracted to. I never approached a guy or even made an attempt to say hi to any guys before him. I'm the very conservative, no one knows I exist type lol I didn't want to be like that and I just went in with the intention of befriending him. Long story short I got rejected but I saw it as a learning experience. Thanks to him I gained some confidence. I don't like to think of rejection as a negative thing, but a positive. It's truly a learning experience when you think about it. :)

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Not 100%, but being proactive, whether you're male or female, really increases the odds of finding a relationship. You have to go places where there are likely to be other people and talk to them ... even girls don't get stone-cold approached without eye contact or conversation as much as guys say. I've known several girls who were quite pretty, but their weird, standoffish behavior made guys avoid them (for fear that she'd be a bitch or that she had a boyfriend already or was super weird, I suppose).

If you talk to people, make a lot of eye contact, go where there are lots of people to engage with ... chances are a brazen girl will make some moves. But just sitting int he corner wont' cut it, male OR female.

saelym · Accepted Answer

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I want to be the one to make that first move. I prefer being able to go after who I am interested in and leave the door open for them rather than sit back and wait for someone to decide they like me enough to do something about it.

DrumNB4ssDubst3p · Answer

the answer is yes. f*** these people, they don't know anything. This doesn't just apply to getting a date either, you always have to be proactive about getting what you want whether it's a good job, possessions or a girl(especially with this one). You can be good looking, rich etc but if you don't make any effort to go for a girl and expect her to go for you you're screwed. The guys that sit around passively will be alone and jack off for the rest of their life. Even if  a girl gave you a signal and all, you would still have to be the one to take over because she would just start assuming you don't like her that much. If anyone here says anything different they are a moron.

Anonymous · Answer

I would like to say no... for the sake of having hope... but I don't think so. honestly, people say you meet someone and it just "happens." I sort of disagree. I think that both parties have to put some effort forth. If you never ever approach a female chances are you aren't trying and they won't know you're interested... however, same for females, if they don't put in some effort then a male won't really approach them... at least maybe not as frequently as we'd like to see. I think it is impossible to find someone without at least putting some effort forth.

Anonymous · Answer

No, not at all. My now fiancee ended up approaching me first in our relationship, and for those guys who are saying you have to be extremely good looking, it's not true at all. I consider myself average in the looks department (I've always been told I have an awesome personality, though, but of course she wouldn't have known that ahead of time). She's gorgeous, smart, funny, loving...any guy would want her, and she's never had any problems with attracting guys. She told me that she got this feeling about me when she saw me and just had to take the initiative and that she has never regretted doing that.

The thing is, I think you have to *look* approachable. Even if you're not the best looking guy, you have to appear like you're fun, sociable, and confident, and you have to exude a presence that would make the girl comfortable in approaching you. If you look like you're pissed off or unfriendly, that's not going to work in your favor.

posted · Answer

Pretty much. Women do dumb things like 'cluster' together making it so only the arrogant, or 'douchebags' will be willing to approach them. They also very rarely approach guys, yet somehow manage to complain they only attract douchebags and all men are bad...

If you go out to public places every free second when you are not sleeping, you will drastically increase your odds but other than that, dating sites maybe...

Anonymous · Answer

Not necessarily.

I've approached men before. But I will say this, I'm the only woman I know personally that does.

I don't think men should always have to make the first move. Women should take as many risks as men - I bet we'd understand each other better :-)

Tripz · Answer

Not really

I was approached by my Ex, at first I was like "Wtf she must be desperate to approach me!" but after getting to know her she just thought I was really attractive, and turned out to be one of the brightest girls I've dated

So no, but it is very likely!

kheserthorpe · Answer

Unless staggeringly good looking and exuding warmth, yes, until you're older.

Women in their 20's get hit on so much they do not need to hit on men. I suspect they prefer not to instinctively, but that's a different topic.

Anonymous · Answer

Pretty much, unless your gorgeous, no girl will approach you. Even if you do get out of your comfort zone, majority will still reject you, or every time in my case. Not that I do anything wrong, I just get written off all the time with out given the chance of saying a word. I'm not saying you will be forever alone, but some of us will be forever alone.

Anonymous · Answer

No. It's definitely possible to find a girlfriend without going out of your way to hit on strangers.

That being said, it's a lot easier to find a girlfriend if you're a friendly person and maintain an active social life - the vast majority of relationships that I've seen form have been between people who met via mutual friends.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think so. Although in my experience a guydoesn't respong well when a girl approaches them. So I don't approach much at all now. If you are shy or nervous you may be giving off the wrong body language and a girl probably won't approach you. A lot of girls don't really like to approach guys for the same reaosn I said before I think. Even if they like the look.

Anonymous · Answer

For the most part, yes.

It's not a certainty, but they are drastically changing the odds of ever finding someone, since girls so rarely approach guys.

So yea, for the most part, for the sake of rounding down the probabilities, you might as well call it a destiny approved certainty.

enigmatta · Answer

I approached my current boyfriend at a party after eying him in German class every Saturday. I went up to him to chat him up. Only guy I ever approached.

-ananyme · Answer

There are other ways to meet people (school/uni, introduced by friends, ...), hitting on some strangers isn't the one and only key to a relationship.

Although if you're against even talking in public to a girl that might be a problem ...

Holly958 · Answer

Um personally I prefer the guy to approach me but there are some girls out there who approach guys too :)

Brando · Answer

No, but as a statistics major you should be the one to know that the more you approach, the more likely you are to get dates ;)

Yeahhbro · Answer

No but probably the ones they get are probably the ugly, weirdo, no body wants, psycho, desperate ones.

Slartybartfast · Answer

All my relationships ( including my ex wife) were started with them approaching.  I'm tall and good looking or I'd be a virgin lol. I never approach.

XNicholex3 · Answer

I don't think so. There are some girls who approach, just not very many.

Anonymous · Answer

it does not matter what gender you are. if you are not being asked out and you don't ask people out than you are going to be single.

Note: although girls are starting to ask guys out it's still the norm for guys to ask girls out.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, both men & women have to ask. You can't just sit & wait for something to happen,. Go get it.

moviedude714 · Answer

very likely, since almost all girls are old-fashioned and feel it is the guys job to initiate, approach, ask out, but it can happen, it's possible, but unlikely since it is too rare so don't count on it

luigi · Answer

on average yes as currently the norm is the guy asks out the girl

Jpalms56 · Answer

I mean, I've made friends that are females by just doing activities and knowing them through that lol no approach required

anonymousbastard · Answer

I'm gonna keep saying it women can look like crap and get dates, guys have to be tall, built, have a good paying job etc just to have a women look at them.

LoveKate93 · Answer

I believe that man has to be the "hunter" so to make the first step. If the guy is not keen on approaching a girl he doesn't have a lot of possibilities to do something. To concluse, he is not destined to be single but it is difficult to have a girl.

shyguy89 · Answer

not at all men are only designed to make mistakes an learn from them..some don't-_-

LittleLaceyLove · Answer

Unless you're super hot ...

Claretica · Answer

That's an absurd generalisation to make.

Anonymous · Answer

yep.

Are guys destined to be single forever if they don't approach women?

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Are guys who can't be bothered chasing women likely to end up single forever?

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Are guys who can't be bothered chasing women likely to end up single forever?

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