I asked a question on 'women helping men feel manly' a few days ago, and an exchange with one guy urged me to ask this question.
He said it was probably mostly traditional guys, and I somewhat agree. But I want to know what more guys think in general. And women too :) So I tried to make the poll as comprehensive as possible.
I would care a lot, I should earn more money (guy)
I would care a little because I expected to earn more, but I'd be happy for my wife and our family (guy)
I wouldn't care at all (guy)
I think most men care a lot (woman)
I think they'd care a little but get over it and be happy for the wife (woman)
I don't think most guys care at all (woman)
undecided
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Please select your age
Do guys really care if their wife earns more money than them?
My mom rarely worked but when she did, she earned more money than my dad and dad was quite content and happy about it.
What about me, I care more about other things rather than the amount of money he earns, so it wouldn't be a problem for me If I earn more money, what I care about is that he helps me about doing housework and I have a man who I can rely on. Well.. If the reason of me earning more money than him, is that he is lazy and that's why he doesn't work, then I won't like it. I am attracted to men who are hard-working and ambitious, If he has these traits, I don't care how much money he earns. I'll be there to support him.
I hate to say it, but yeah, as a female it does matter. Money is not the only reason to marry someone; I'm not saying that. But biologically we want a man that can provide for our family. Back in the dark ages it was the husband would hunt and provide food, modern day money is the equivalent. I don't want to be the provider at all. If I am the provider, and the nurturer, then why do I need a partner when I'm doing everything myself? It's frustrating to admit that something like this would be a problem, but for a lot of people it does.
I think it depends on the culture. In America, I think overall most young men wouldn't mind, because they weren't raised to care about that. They were raised and educated alongside women reaching for similar goals. I think career driven people usually opt for career driven partners even if salaries don't match. Men might be more forgiving about career if the woman is more attractive or domesticated.
No one cares about this, especially if you make a significant amount of money. The more money you make, the more dreams and goals you have. The more a spouse contributes, the more likely it is that you'll reach those goals. The only people who would possibly care are people who don't make much in the first place. Like our support guys in India? Those guys care -- and we pay them 25,000 to 32,000 rupees a month, which is between $350-$500.
If a woman earns WAY more than a man, it's better to break up with her. Why? Because over time she will 100% start looking down on a man that's unable to supply amenities she's used to (and she can afford to!). This *will* leave a significantly negative impact on man's ego, which will result in both him seeing himself as a failure and woman not understanding why does she needs a man to begin with.
If a girl earns *slightly* more than a guy, I assume most guys (myself included) would be okay with that as long as she never, ever, ever rubs it into a guy's face, or ever brings this topic during some sorts of an argument. Ever. Even if she'll mention it even once during some heated argument, that's it. It's like shattering a vase: sure, you can glue it back together, but it won't just be the same again.
I think most guys would be happy. It would mean that he knows she will be able to help or do it on her own without his help. And it doesn't mean that she beg him for money a lot. This is a win for guys. But I feel so uncomfortable with women making more than a man. I feel that some guys take advantage of that.
I dont believe in cohabiting with women anyways since long term relationship and marriage laws are discriminated against men. My ideal woman wouldn be a stay at home traditional house wife with no income as thats the feminine aspect of a woman and who's obedient which makes me feel like a man.
The problem is times have changed now and that traditionalism is seen as misogynistic so mgtow seems a better option. if i was to get a girlfriend then she'd have to live independently on her own with her own income and we'd just meet up accordingly whenever we want spend time together like sexually or just for companionship. I don't believe in sharing income or living together as i said that laws discriminate against men.
I used to NOT care but I have learned that it's not good at all to think that way.
If a woman earns more than a guy then she will gradually lose respect for that guy then just "lose feelings for him". Women desire dominant men and earning less is submissive.
Yeah they'd care but probably wouldn't show it to much. Just because they want to be the provider's. Boys are rasied thinking they have to be provider's to their homes, and if a woman makes more money or she works and he doesn't, she assumes that role
you do not understand how men work men are very straight forward they will go for the easy way if a girl make more money it means they don't need to work, what a guy would care about if the girl uses her finance advantage to get things from the guy
Night thats not how men work at all... thats how a boy works a man even if he is making less than his partner is going to do all he can to bring what he can to the table even if its just concidered extra cash for a Rainey day
I make 90. My boyfriend makes 40. And he has no problem with me making more than double his income. He's secure and knows he brings much more important things to the relationship than money.
Our combined income is less than that of our friends so we can't afford to buy or do some of things they can. But it doesn't matter. We make it work :)
2
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
My wife makes plenty more than me. I am a plumber and she is a A & E dental surgeon.
Never been an issue, I keep our very old house well maintained, the kids, cars and for the last 5 years I also look for places to buy on her behalf, refurbish and then rent it out. Also manage her finances so it really doesn't affect me at all knowing she makes way more than what I do.
I do care a little but it's not about her it's more about my pride I think and not aboUT earning more but being an important part of the family. think about it if she is smart pretty etc and has a great job career house etc whats left a baby which almost leaves me as a sperm doner which isn't where I wanna be. now I'm sure we could figure things out but it would prob still bother me a little in the back of my mind. it's nice to be needed right.
good point but the child is much more connected biologically to her as well as legally bc governments are quite there yet. I suppose it's a trade off for both.
The thing is that we KNOW men care a LOT if they make less money than their female partners. When women make more money three things are likely to happen:
The woman takes on more household duties no matter how long she works
The man cheats
The couple gets a divorce or breaks up.
So yeah #NotAllMen weh weh weh. But that's what USUALLY happens.
I don't care, but I think many men care because they might feel emasculated. Honestly if I earn more money I still expect him to be the main supporter of the household. My extra money will be for the leisure etc... That's how it works in my background.
I honestly don't care. if she's bringing in cash (Let alone whether it's more cash than me ) she's helping to keep a roof over our heads, shoes on our feet, clothes on our backs, food in our belly, and I find that attractive. besides, in the animal kingdom, it's the female that provide the food and necessities for the family while the male defends the home and raises the kids, so either way, it wouldn't matter to me as long as it helps to keep our family safe and secure.
well my experience from watching my mom and dad, my dad really did care that my mom earned more than him which lead him to leave her so for guys be thankful don't leave just because your woman earns more
guys typically don't mind if it's a couple hundreds of dollars more but when you start talking about thousands of dollars more they kind of shrunk down. As in meaning they don't feel like a complete man. but your husband should not let money come between his significant other.
Undecided.---If she earns more money from porn , it could be bad. But if she has her own business and mints money like hot cakes , it could be good. But just over stressing herself to earn more and more money could also be very bad. If she is ready to use the money for the happiness of her family , it could be a helpful thing.
Most guys wouldn't care at all. The results are proof of that and I can safely say that's how it is based on personal observation.
This is a bigger issue to women than what it is to men. Why? Because women are always wanting more and always looking up, instead of down or at their same level. It's intrinsic and they are directional creatures. Their affection is completely conditional too. Women are hypergamous by nature, even if it's to a lesser extent. But obviously they won't openly say it.
No, I don't have a degree in that BUT I actually did started with psychology before I went to microbiology. I retired three semesters in because I realized it is an over-saturated career.
I still have interest in human psychology and male/female behavior and I read about it pretty much every day. So yeah, if your question hinted at if I know what I'm talking about... I do lol
Yeah not really. Women's love is conditional af... that's why women keep shit testing and expecting more and more from their man, and men in general. The moment she her direction or desires change and her man doesn't live up to them it's over. I've seen with my own eyes personally, and with plenty of friends and people I know.
You asked if I know what I'm talking about, and I know I do. If you don't agree to it then that's completely fine. It's none of my business. You were the one who asked the question after all so take it or leave it.
I'm not trying to trash you idea, I do want to push you though because obviously as a woman, to hear someone tell me about my love, and the love of all other women is pretty hard to believe, even from someone who studied psychology for a year and a half.
As long as she doesn't try to rub it in or something like that, even jokingly, then it would be fine. And she shouldn't try to "one up" me for gifts for our kids either. If she can handle that, then it's a good thing. Oh and I don't want her being a workaholic in order to make more and sacrifice our time that we should have spent together either.
Really? A down vote for that? Spending time together as a family and caring about how the other person feels is a bad thing? Nah, must just be one of my haters. lol
I didn't downvote you, but maybe someone assumed you were being too picky. I can see how rubbing in earnings can obviously lead to resentment and the breakdown of a relationship.
I have mixed feelings. Part of me likes it because if she earns more than me and still wants me then it pretty much garuntees that she is genuinely attracted to me and enjoys my company rather than just settling for me for stability.
However, I fear it could be used as ammunition for any argument we have and that it could lead to her resenting me or losing respect for me. That depends on how much more she makes tho. Like if we only differ by 5k I doubt it would lead to any issues.
I find this question confusing. 1. What do you mean by Care? I think the word you're looking for is intimidated or intrigued. 2. Yes, oc , in any relationship one partner cares ( wants to know) what her/his partner is earning. 3. It's should be taken as good sign if your partner earns more, i would be happy if my partner earns more than me. 4. Why get annoyed? Both are getting good money, what's to hate about?
2
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
What @jaredletoisbae said. A man's value is judged by how much money he earns, far more than a woman's. Women still expect men to be providers. They say they don't but they clearly do. This is one of those topics about which women today are just extremely dishonest. They say what they think they are supposed to say even though they know deep down they are not being truthful.
Can we be honest about this for a change? Both men and women judge men whose wives earn more than they do.
Most men really only care because they think their woman will care, even if they won't admit it. And that's a valid fear because some women absolutely do care.
I think they might care, but eventually get over it. It's more traditional types of men that like to be the bread winners.
1
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
In my experience i noticed that while men don't say much about it... they do feel it. Its like an ego thing for them. The moment i tell guys im a doctor i can literally see they put up a false facade like it doesn't matter... but I THINK IT MATTERS MORE THAN US GIRLS ACTUALLY BELIEVE.
I just want to mention, it's not always the fact that you make more money than them that throws them off but also many will always feel like they're not good enough for you because of that. As men we were raised into the concept of believing that women want a guy to make more money because he's supposed to be the provider and if he comes across a woman who makes more than him, then he's not good enough for her. It sounds crazy but a lot of guys were taught this. Not saying I have, but I can understand it.
For most men it's not that they have to make more money for a sense of power over their women it's more they feel they need to make more to help provide for the woman they like to feel they are helping to provide and be useful it's how most guys I think show their affections rather than Saying it all the time
I make more than my boyfriend only because I work in a bar and make hella good tips. He doesn't care but my dad gets so pissed when I talk to him and tell him I brought home almost a gRand in tips 😂💀
0
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I don't know if all of them care, but I think most are aware that women are hypergamous and aren't going to "date down" for them and probably won't keep the relationship going too much longer afterwards. Women seem to love to divorce over monetary issues.
my mom earns more than my dad but i never saw them fight or having a issue about who earns more my mom knows that my dad responsibility so she don't surpass that thing
I think they do care... it is more of a self-esteem issue. And most men are like, " how can she earn more than me!" I have seen situations like that... so my opinion is based in experience...
Yeah I care a little bit, since that's how I was raised, man is always the provider in our family. Even if she did make more money then me I'd still be the one working a lot harder and longer.
Because I am standing on my feet almost none stop 10-11 hours a day in a machine shop surrounded by chemicals, oil, gas in my face and am usually covered in it to from splash marks and such and I make quite literally over 1,000 parts a day, roughly about 220-300 an hour and lugging around, pulling, pushing and carrying weight that's 40lbs+ usually at the end of a job I'll push a cart weighing in at about 200lbs across the shop to a loading area. On top of that I utilize metric math and geometry and have to set up highly complex machines that use complex programs. Then I get to go home and relax for about 4-5 hours and then go back and do it all over again.
So unless she is working in the same place I am, or a very similar type of job I highly doubt she'll be working as hard or as long as me.
My income varies from year to year due to overtime, commission, and my freelance work, but my wife and I are usually pretty close in income. It wouldn't bother me that much either way though.
I wouldn't really care if it doesn't affect our relations/communication. but if she tries to lord it over me, i dont give a fuck how much she earns... she's gone.
I see it as a bonus she can pay more if we go by equity rather than equality when it comers to bills only an unsecure guy would feel threatened with a more successful girlfriend
pretty sure I read somewhere that those kinds of relationships fail most often because the woman begins to resent her husband for not making more money like she does.
I think that money is money. I just think that guys have a different viewpoint of spending it than girls do
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Female hypergamy would eventually result in her leaving him. Men have no problem with women making more money than them but it all goes back to women losing attraction for men when she is placed in the provider role. Most woman HATE it.
I think this may be true. I was raised to believe the same. Especially with my mom, a devout Filipina Catholic, who believes that men should be the providers and that women are more "breakable" in society (esp when it comes to sexual exploits being publicized).
BUT, I'm more than willing to go against the norms of society if it's just plain truth that I make more than my male partner. At the moment I do. And I usually end up paying for most of our dates. Totally understandable because he's back studying now and isn't earning. When he was still working we'd split or take turns paying. Or if I was low on cash he'd add a little bit so we could get more (I think he was earning more than me or is just really more thrifty and so has more savings when he's working). I'll be honest I don't love the situation, but I don't hate it either. I just love enjoying spending time with my boyfriend and if that means I have to spend more of the money I have then so be it.
Honestly, if she works harder and gets paid more, I wouldn't mind. All that matters really is if we're able to use the money to help strengthen our relationship
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