If a guy is too shy, is he a loser?

[Anonymous]

If a guy is too shy to approach and ask girls out...

...or even just make friends...

is he a loser? why or why not

[bobosbrosgirl]

hun, I have a friend who is just like you. He panics when he has to talk to people, he can't make friends or introduce himself or anything. The only reason him and I have become friends is because I know his older brother and I made him talk to me. Tony (the guy) lives in Michigan and I live in Florida, so we only talk on the computer. I've tried to get him to call a few times, but he gets really shy. I love the kid to death. He's younger than me so I consider him a baby brother. Sometimes, in guys, the shyness is an attractive feature. Especially if they're older than you, because it gives them some mystery. However, if you want to fix it and not be so shy, just think about your positive qualities. A shy guy is NOT a loser. No more than a shy girl is a loser. There is someone in the world for everyone. Have some faith. One day, there will be a person who will see past your shyness and be friends with you, and one day there will be a person who will see past the shyness and want to be in a relationship with you. Just try to be confident :)

Here's a link that might keep you optimistic: link

[nollie33]

I think quiet guys are MORE appealing, BUT you can't be totally silent or no one will know whether you're worth knowing! = ) I know a lot of girls(myself included) that like guys who are quiet because they feel honoured if a guy who is generally silent chooses to speak to her...its like being "the chosen one"! haha

But I would follow the advice of mz4568. Find outlets that will allow you to get more comfortable socializing. Just don't think that you need to be Mr. Chatty in order do meet girls...you don't ...you just need to make the things you DO say...count!

Also don't feel obligated to ask out strangers...that's not really fun for the persona asking or the askee...try to meet girls through classes and such like mz4568 said.

Good luck!

[woahx3]

he is not a loser. a loser is someone with a dull/boring/annoying personality. just because someone can't approach a girl doesn't mean he's a loser. it simply means he hasn't learned how to appropriately approach girls/flirt/etc. you can leave your shy side by talking to girls. you don't have to flirt or anything just yet, just talk to them like you would talk to anyone else. once you get comfortable with that, you can start flirting and asking them out if you want. its really not that hard once you get the hang of it.

[Hartmut]

Suppose the dull/boring/annoying guy hated being that way, and was actively trying (but still failing) to change. Is he still a loser?

[woahx3]

i wouldn't say he is still a loser. we all have insecurities that we will one day stray away from

[chadwickc2]

I was once just like you but I changed a bit. I noticed all the people above are giving you false cheerfulness, but the truth is being shy is BAD. Period. There are probably women out there who were waiting for you to talk to them. They are probably women out there who don't know you exist but would have LIKED you talk to them.

All and all most women at a subconscious level do LOOK DOWN on shyness and niceness. It makes you appear less masculine. Women want you to act uninhibited so they can be uninhibited.

My advice to you is to find a non judgmental wing man to take you out to social events. Make these events somewhere were you don't know anybody. For some reason I know feel much more comfortable talking to complete strangers. I guess because I won't have to see them later and if I did/said anything stupid.

[darkknight1x]

Wow! What makes you think a guy is a loser for being shy? He can't help it its just the way he is and maybe he has low self esteem. I've known women that are very shy and they were both straight A students and got on the honors roll. The biggest losers are guys that look like wanksters look and act like Kevin Federline.

[mz4568]

No.

Smart Advice: Get involved in a hobby or activity that has women involved. A cooking class, art class, out-door biking group, or group of people who go for a run. This way you get familiar with new people and it's easier to talk to them.

Smart-Ass Advice: Just get loaded at a bar and that should give you confidence. Just don't grope anyone.

[nollie33]

Best answer!! haha

[Asker]

Whenever I meet new people in a class they disappear from my life as soon as the class is over. and I don't like bars

[Jonny_]

I agree with the first bit, the second bit never worked for me. I'm definitely a shy guy myself... I've never asked a girl out although I've dated quite a few. I've been very lucky in a way. But you have to realise they are all just people same as you are, just because you are attracted doesn't mean they would instantly pick up on that and think you're weird. It gets easier the more you go out of your comfort zone.

[mz4568]

Sounds to me you need some counseling. I would see a therapist to see why is it you're having difficulty meeting people and engaging with them.

[Smileyface43]

No! No, not at all! He might have self esteem issues, but he is not a loser. I would tell him to keep cool, and know that he is not alone. Then I would tell him that girls find you at the most unexpected times in your life. He just has to fake confidence until he feels it in his bones, and sooner or later a woman will notice that extra bounce in his step and the gleam in his smile.

[Anonymous]

well he's not necessarily a loser, girls like shy guys ( for me being shy is cute ) but there's this guy that I know likes me and well he's always starring at me so I know he likes me but we never talk and now he's out of school so I won't possibly see him again...so I suggest you take a risk because shyness sometimes holds us back from doing something we really want in life.

[edgar334]

Wow I have done that some many times:)

[Opinion Owner]

Not me that much, I've only took like 5 risks; I wish I was really a big risk taker lol

[kittycat933]

Not at all, because there will always be the nice people who think they are just so cute for being too sensitive to risk being rejected, or some other positive way to think about it.

[nikki4003]

It's not weird at all I love shy guys but you half at least talk to the girl or text her so she doesn't think

ur trying to hook up with her for her looks

Good luck,

[kellyp]

no, it just makes me more nervous because he is nervous. But its definitely not a turn off. It kinda makes me feel better knowing he probably isn't flirting with a bunch of other girls.

[Anonymous]

Cognitive behavioral Therapy --- Tell your Psychologist that you have social anxiety disorder. This is what you have and it is curable. Google it.

[chiefnavarro]

the only think that makes you a loser is no university education no money and no status.

[bestmetaldrummer]

no people are who there are.

[Asker]

Explain?

[bestmetaldrummer]

Like people are who they are and if ur shy there's nothing wrong with that most girls (includeing me) like shy guys:)

[smallbrownman]

Yea because he's a wimp.

[Spalitech]

No, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't try.

[Asker]

How can he try? what if he can't even approach people

[Spalitech]

Have friends that are not so shy introduce him and help him

until eventually he'll get less shy and understand that it's really not a big deal to talk to people

[Asker]

What if he HAS no friends? you don't understand, I have nobody to introduce me