Do men get intimidated by aggressive women?

Question

I feel like men always want the women to be the innocent lady waiting to be won over. Being quiet and wait until he makes the moves. If a women knows what she wants and goes after it do men usually get intimidated? please be honest :)

glumpy_handy · Accepted Answer

Well if i am honest yes i do feel intimidated by aggressive women, BUT not for any insecure reasons as girls are accustomed to thinking.

I find it very difficult in my *personal* experience to fall in love or have any relationship possible stems from my character or personality. Many people often make the mistake that i'm some sort of misogynist or that i want to control women or be dominant or maybe try to feel more like a man. To illustrate this i'll give a small example.

Girl 1: One of the first girls i dated was aggressive and had the typical "girls can do anything" mentality which i have no problem with. She felt that she didn't "NEED" a man but rather wanted a man attitude. At first, this seemed like this is the kind of girl i wanted, but eventually the cracks begin to show... it would come across in the smallest of gestures. For example, she was aggressive and i could not develop an emotional attachment to her because her Independence created an invisible division and eventually i grew distant.

Girl 2: Oh my, how i miss her. She was maybe just as aggressive or independent as the first girl but with a twist. One night we were walking on the pavement (fairly late i might add) across the street from the movie theatre and just ahead of us were a group of rowdy guys smoking and swearing and seemed to be drunk. As we got closer almost kinda "tucked" herself closer to be while clenching my hands ever so tighter. As a guy *like me* (and i will not lie) Did it make me feel more manly? Yes it did, Was it necessary for her to do that? NO, she is quite strong herself, Did she need me? NO... but my gosh... did it bring us more emotionally closer than ever before.

So after years of dating... my OWN PERSONAL experience has made me more "noticing" of that kind of behavior of women. I have nothing against aggressive women at all... its just i find i can relate better to more "feminine women" and its certainly not because i find them easier to control or whatever. hope it helps

Browneye57 · Accepted Answer

WTF? There's that word 'intimidated' again. Geez.
NO NO NO. Men are NOT intimidated by anything woman. Unless of course you're actually going to physically kick his ass, then maybe.
I am totally flabbergasted that women today come up with this, and it seems to happen over and over here on GAG.
No. Just hell no.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I do believe that most men here will say that they like a woman with confidence.

I am that woman. I made the first move, second move, paid the bill whole, or split the bill, i made plans for him, i made it clear to him that i like him, i showed interest, and paid attention to him.

I am a well educated woman, made my way up through higher education in engineering and landed a good job in a foreign country, i had a lot of sacrifices, and learnt to be by myself, handle myself, be self-sufficient etc. All I wanted was to be with a man who I want, not who I need, to share life with, to grow together.

He chose someone who was waiting to be won over with her mind games, who is financially dependent on him, who needs constant attention, who slept with more than 20 people just because she was needy and it made him feel more manly when she asked him to open the door of the car for her.

I am sorry but from now on, i will sit quite and wait in the corner to be won over. Not a move for my tiniest finger for a guy.

spuitkaas · Accepted Answer

Yes and no. You have to find this perfect balance between being assertive and making the man feel like a man. Best is to make it convenient that you want a date. Like 'I still have some spare time. Would you like to get some coffee?'. Very casual. Then you let him know you're interested, but he can still do some hunting.
Saying something like he's hot and that's why he should date you is too agressive I think. It will work with many guys but it's not recommendable.
Although I'm totally for girls asking guys out. I did it as well when I was single and I've never had trouble with it, but I do think you have to keep yourself looking a bit mysterious.

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

No.

Men are intimidated by overly aggressive, overbearing psycho women who put off their explosive and inappropriate attitudes as an issue with others, rather than themselves. I know few men who want the passive little princess these days.

Men are typically the same as women: everything requires balance. It's great if you're an aggressive go-getter, as long as she isn't the aggressive archetype I described. Lol. Most men love women who approach in my experience.

kaylaS91 · Accepted Answer

Assuming that by 'aggressive' you mean not being afraid to make the first move rather than always playing the damsel in distress and waiting for the guy to make the first move, I've yet to meet a guy who doesn't like that. In real life, at least. It seems like the only place you'll find guys saying that they're intimidated by women who have the balls (figuratively speaking) to take the reins is online.

MarriedMale43 · Answer

This is a less simple question than you want it to be.

Divide "aggressive" up into smaller subsets, and you'll start to get the answers you're looking for.

Dominant: I'm not a sub, so I don't really care to explore a relationship where she is in full control. This doesn't just apply to BDSM, it applies in the relationship as well: I want some time to myself, I want her to do what I want to do some of the time, I want to do things together some of the time, and I want to do what she wants some of the time.

Aggressive: I don't want to feel like she's angry, temperamental, about to fly off the handle in anger, jealousy, or frustration. That's not stable, safe, sane, relationship-worthy.

Clingy: I don't want to feel like she's molding herself to me, or expecting me to fill a massive void in her life. Let's spend time together, but not 100% of the time every day. That's smothering.

Assertive: This is where I find a woman being direct about what she wants and taking initiative to be a huge turn-on. Ideally, she makes it clear that I have a green light, makes sure that I know that she's interested, but then lets me be the masculine energy. She asks for what she wants, knows how to take no for an answer, and is capable of taking care of herself.

Flirtatious: This works for me, too. It is more playful, possibly less risk-taking, but it fits Assertive in that she makes it clear that I have a green light, and expects me to close the gap.

I will absolutely fall for a woman who is able to find that balance.

Think of the "goodnight kiss" scene from Hutch - one party must make their intentions and willingness clear (leaning in 90% of the way). The other party must make the intentional choice to participate (covering the last 10%).

RedHood7 · Answer

What we want is an interesting and entertaining partner to relate to and have fun, and hopefully build a relationship. Being 'aggressive' in the sense of being relatively direct and taking initiative to flirt is a huge turn-on. Problem is that many women aren't just direct. They're straight up indiscrete. When an entire room notices you're trying to seduce a guy in an almost vulgar manner, you're not being discrete. Plus, there are subtle and less subtle ways to make yourself seem like wife-material or not (doesnt have to go as far as marriage, it's just an expression), and if you are aggressive and wearing a very revealing outfit, that's pretty much enough for most people to judge you as a slut (sorry, but that's how people may talk about you - whomever is reading this). Plus, promiscuity gives off the idea of experience, higher sexual expectations and a higher sex drive to satisfy. And when women get dissatisfied they usually finds ways to cheat that men would never find out about. Sometimes with multiple lovers that dont know about each other. Even my female friends tell me this. Of course, promiscuity doesn't define anyone as a cheater, but the risk only goes up, and not everyone is willing to go for it. That said, moderation may be the best advice I can give you. Find the fine line between inaction and aggressive flirting. Hope this helps.

Dargil · Answer

Not necessarily. But you have to turn up your sensors and pay close attention. Some girls are aggressive exactly to intrusively intimidate. It's a game to elicit a reaction... even a retreat A form of control. It does not look, sound or feel like a mating call. When guys do it, it's often called sexual harassment in this tense time. But while many guys may not necessarily like it, they will see it as a challenge. It may even lead to elaborate sporting sex but it won't include the soft, comfortable intimacy that makes sex really worth having.
But then, there are girls with genuinely high libido. They will struggle to combine modesty with desire. If you notice too early and respond, you may actually rebuff them. But if you tactically ignore their barely concealed desire to get freaky and show enough patience and respect, the sex that finally comes will be for the history books as will the afterglow intimacy. I have had exactly one of these and I will remember it freshly when I. m 80.

RichardBrooks · Answer

Nothing turns me on more. I want an equal; not a piece of arm candy. I want someone with drive and passion to match my own... and maybe even surpass it. Someone who I can relate to in my best moments and my worst. Someone who understands the burden of ambition and doesn't fault me for it, who not only gets the sacrifices I sometimes have to make but doesn't even see them as sacrifices. Someone who inspires and challenges me. I don't want some simpering Disney princess (and I am certainly no Prince Charming); I want a queen to rule at my side.

Battooot · Answer

It really really depends on the man and his personality. We all have different personalities and different ways of thinking. Just like you women do. Some guys would love that the woman approaches so confidently and aggressively and some won't. The reason usually behind that goes to the man and their confidence or manliness. Some guys are very confident about themselves that they dont mind having a woman come hit on them and won't feel any less manly whatsoever. Some other guys who are usually less confident in themselves will probably feel pretty imtimidated and dominated so they pull out. I personally love an agressive confident woman who isn't afraid to tell me what she wants and shows her true face. Many times it can even get me turned on. I also dont mind shy girls and think they are cute (only if they were really shy and not pretending to).

Captmorgan · Answer

Under the assumption your definition of aggression is parallel to a horny man, it depends on the timing. Let's break this down:

1. About 7 - 8 women have approached me so far. They all came on way too strong, which made me pull back - with some I would have gone the whole 9 yards. This strong approach is just due to a lack of experience approaching.

Moreover, while I appreciate their boldness, I prefer they do it smoothly, not come up to me by less than 2 inches straight to my face 😂

2. In bed - hell yeah, but not too aggressive. Let's not snap my dick off.

3. In a relationship, not really, passion and drive is preferred.

UnknownXYZ · Answer

Only men who have no balls to stick up for themselves will be intimidated. One thing I would like to say is that many women who are described as "aggressive" doesn't really change the fact that they still want be dominated and submit to their man. Women have different levels of aggression so just takes an even more dominate man to "handle" her. There is nothing to fear or be emasculated by when dealing with aggressive women. I would question the level of the guy's frame if it crumbles under added pressure. However, I would like to add that women who are "aggressive" tend to stem away from being feminine which I can say could turn me off.

GingerGuy · Answer

I feel like men always want the women to be the innocent lady waiting to be won over.

It depends on the guy. Some. But some are not at all like this and actually are attracted to "aggressive" women, but there's a fine line here also. It depends how aggressive, what exactly she says and does, her tone of voice, and how she comes across. ie, "going after what you want" is good, if you're "bitchy" about it, that's another thing. It's comparable to women that want "confident" guys vs arrogant. Same idea.

yaanis · Answer

I would say its huge turn on if girl is passionate and agresive, when she knows what she wants and aren't afreid to go for it. My last girlfriend was like that, now im looking at dating a bit diferent, she changed me a lot, or i changed quiz she showed me a different world. Exsaiting one.
Every man should at one point date that kind girl, its great expiriance. ^^

MrWolf · Answer

I'd actually welcome her and embrace her. There ain't nothing better then a woman who is a hunter.

Usually i am the hunter, but lately i do enjoy being hunted it's fun :D lol!

So intimidated, nope! I would say intrigued and drawn to this type of girls!

jestingdemon · Answer

Personally I don't but I'm a little outside of the box though. It probably would catch me off guard but it's not going to make me back down.
I also would feel very refreshed if I could get an answer to questions like where do you want to go out to eat and stuff like that when offered. Because if your just going to leave it to me then I'm just picking Mexican or seafood and don't want to hear complaints because I asked and got wherever you want to go.
Then again it comes down to in what ways that she is aggressive too.

JSmuve · Answer

"I feel like men always want the women to be the innocent lady waiting to be won over. Being quite and wait until he makes the moves."

LOL! Its women's passivity that makes me question whether she's interested. I tend to come to the conclusion that she's not. Otherwise she would be a more active participant.

I won't speak for all guys, but I will say that I like a woman who actively engages me and chases me a bit. She doesn't have to ask me out but she sure as shit better not be quiet. I expect her to meet me halfway because I'm not going any farther. And if I have to, you can be sure its only a pump and dump.

Tonita91996 · Answer

It doesn't work out for me if I am the one doing all the moves. I feel like it is a slap in the man's face of stealing his manhood. When a woman pursues them they don't see her anything else than just someone they can get in bed. Men don't like women who approach them first. They might seem interested for a while but once they get what they want out her than that is it. There is no way for her winning him back. Forward women only have men for a little while not a life time. Just dont ask it is not worth it you're going to end up single anyway. If a guy doesn't ask you out then if is not the right one for you.

TripleAce · Answer

Women say intimidating
Men say annoying

The reality is... men don't just run away because a girl is intimidating... they run away because she is a nuisance... but she sees it as intimidating... but that's just her lack of ability to understand really what is going on

Chico_brah · Answer

I love aggressiveness if it's under the following conditions..

1) It's natural. I can tell when girls put on an act. It's transparent every time. Acting like something you're not is a huge turn off.

2) It's tasteful. Nothing a bigger turn off than a low class/low status/unattractive/dim witted woman thinking she is the shit because she can bark orders at pathetic men and get away with it.

Maik567 · Answer

No lol, I don't get what there is to be intimidated about.

I have no problem with it when girls approach me but if the girl is insanely pushy or trying too hard that's pretty off putting. Or if she starts pushing for sex on the first date that's also a sign for me that she's not really dating material.

Logorithim · Answer

The first time a woman came on to me aggressively was when I was 18, and it was a fortysomething co-worker. I was totally confused and didn't know how to react, but wasn't intimidated. The second time it happened (different woman, this time around 35), I liked it, since I realized what was going on.

Today, no, it wouldn't bother me, although she doesn't need to be aggressive since I know how to pick up on signals.

Nyx_85 · Answer

There's a difference between going for what you want, being clear in your intentions and being aggressive. If a guy is turned off by your forwardness then maybe he prefers a more traditional courtship (I once had a guy on a dating site tell me he didn't like that I contacted him. "Hey how's it going?" That was too much for him) but it's also possible that he found your approach somewhat classless. Some way approach men in a way that totally emasculates them.

LesterJester · Answer

We'll that description is way off the mark for me. I am not intimidated by women who speak their mind and go for what they want. In fact it's refreshing not having to play the old stereo typed games.

Actually being open, honest and clear of your intentions makes things very clear for the guy and helps them understand where they stand with the girl, as opposed to chasing people all the time and guessing like an idiot.

Paultripp7221 · Answer

You can be aggressive with out being intimidating. I like girls who approach or call or ask me out. Ones who don't play games. That can be done with out coming on too strong. It, I hate when on a date a girl tells you there will be sex later (let me discover it and see what happens) when a woman pushes hard for a commitment when first dating, and when women was to call all the shots. Don't confuse intimidating and annoying...

DarklordOdin · Answer

This is the type I would prefer. I have yet to happen upon someone worthy of my magnificence; strength and resolve to match mine, for I do not like glassy frail weaklings.
Aggressiveness in the sense you're saying sounds amazing, but *obnoxious* women would just be... obnoxious.

TL;DR: Hell no we don't! In fact, we're tired of seeing the same damned damsel in distress everywhere we go.

FakeName123 · Answer

"I feel like men always want the women to be the innocent lady waiting to be won over. Being quiet and wait until he makes the moves."

Why is the direct conclusion always that the opposite must mean the guy is "intimidated"? Are you really that narcissistic that you can't believe that some guys simply are not into aggressive women?

Kountry_King · Answer

I say this all the time because I'm shy as fuck but I have no problem with women coming up to me. I might be a little shocked but I'll listen and talk and let her bag me. Ain't nothing wrong with an attractive woman coming up to me complimenting me and saying she wants me shit turn me on that you're on some alpha type shit.

Kuraj · Answer

I'm certainly not looking for a lady waiting to be won over.
I will show my interest but I will move on if they don't display a certain degree of initiation themselves.

If they were to be "too aggressive" however then no.
I don't believe in "picking up" so if they aren't somebody who I know AND have shown interest in in the past then they don't have any chances.

red324 · Answer

I don't mind an aggressive girl that goes after what she wants as long as she doesn't get too carried away with it. IE asking too many intrusive questions when we haven't even been on a date yet. Are you good with kids, do you like kids, do they like you, how many girls have you been on dates with, etc. These were questions one girl asked me, hadn't even met her yet. At first I appreciated the effort, but after a few days I was running for the hills, and we don't have any hills in my area.

backdoorman · Answer

It depends on what you mean by aggressive. I much prefer a woman who takes some initiative and shows she's interested over one who sits back and does nothing and hopes guys will approach her and do everything for her. Unfortunately I think a lot of women are just too pushy and obnoxious and dominating and then when guys are turned off by it their takeaway is that guys don't like women who show they are interested and take some initiative. I think @RJGraveyTrain got it right in her response.

Rahdle · Answer

Aggressive women can be so sexy. Unless they're like aggressively stupid or something

Anonymous · Answer

I personally like them more
They can handle jokes even counter them
Plus theyre full with life and desire to do something

But she shouldn't be cocky, still humble
But also not afraid to be opinated, if its that what u mean

TheUsername27 · Answer

Define aggressive. If it is simply her going after what she wants... i don't think any man would. One girl at uni did that to me and i thought it was very attractive... but she looked way too much like my sister so that sucked ass. A lot of women seem so off with a lot of guys unless they are her specific type or something... so it's honestly a nice change as long as she isn't cocky alongside it.

Tangent · Answer

I like girls who aren't afraid to come up to me and start a conversation and I don't have to do all the work because I feel more comfortable around those types of people in general.

LittleLila · Answer

My boyfriend says he's intimidated by me when it comes to certain things (I'm really good at maths where he struggles with it etc..) but he says it's just another thing that he loves about me.

Amorphous · Answer

Be aggressive but assertive. I love it when the woman knows what she wants instead of playing BS hard to get games. Those types of games confuse me and make me think that she was never interested.

writing_essays · Answer

They get intimidated if they don't like you - if they like you they won't be intimidated.

Dude_91 · Answer

Nope. I would rather have a little more aggressive lady than one who makes 0 moves.

genericname85 · Answer

i love it when girls make the move :) why would you wait and hope that the right one comes along, when you can just go up tho them and claim them for you ^^

handyman312 · Answer

outside the bedroom, no... but to an extent in the bedroom. .. I like her to initiate sexual activities, but not try to control the entire session. .. like when to "change positions or put your hand here" ... do this, do that...

Anonymous · Answer

It defies tradition and DNA which makes many guys uncomfortable. However on the plus side it removes guesswork... which is a breath of fresh air on occasion.

Aggressive women are fine for hook ups, but I have a hard time getting in relationships with them. It throws of the dynamic and yes, it's a threat to our masculinity. Feminism be damned.

BrileyCat · Answer

not necessarily innn . timid . ated . but caught off guard .

Anonymous · Answer

An aggressive woman just wants a man to put her in her place.

sodaa_popp · Answer

I prefer pursuing instead of being pursued. Not personally attracted to women who are "aggressive."

Bvroon · Answer

I really like assertive women, so no they don't intimidate me. :)

Loveherbut · Answer

Not at all i get turned on when a woman hit on me i dont like playing hard to get game its a huge turn off

Tileguy0723 · Answer

I think it simply depends on the guy... I certainly don't

Anonymous · Answer

I prefer aggressive dominant and occasionally bossy women. I want her to enjoy FemDom and to be possessive of me. What do you think?

JCT666 · Answer

I like aggressive women. They're more straight forward in what they want and expressing how they feel, which I admire in a woman.

Decentguy · Answer

nope. i can't say for everyone but i dont get intimidated by that

esotericstory · Answer

Considering the current status of relations between men and women in the western world men would do good being intimidated by aggressive women.

chrisbigman · Answer

I like women who know what they want and aren't afraid to go after it.

lord_chilled · Answer

Yeah, aggressiveness is not hot in females. I prefer being the aggressor 😉

Words_and_Wisdom · Answer

I like dominant and assertive women. As long as they're not cunts.

thomasans · Answer

I like it. Why sit back and hope for something. We can't read minds. Go for what you want.

Pizzalover101 · Answer

No if you let a guy know you like him but if you rush it then it never works an you get sum guy who doesn't know if he has stds

dontgofalling · Answer

I get intimidated by crazy stupid women, aggressive I can handle

Anonymous · Answer

Well I wish guys didn't always have to make the first move and be the initiators

mikey112 · Answer

i actually love aggressive women.. i am missing one right now.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

This really just depends on each individual man.

Anonymous · Answer

No. That's just a lie they tell themselves when a man rejects them.

ManDudeBro · Answer

I love confidence in a woman

Dwiller924 · Answer

I don't know. Some actually like it.

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