If you like honesty I'll be honest with you.
Honesty is great. Straightforward is great. Blunt is never great. Blunt means "I don't realize my words are like taking a knife out and stabbing someone."
Certain people, in both genders, have a strong belief that anything that comes into their head is the truth and should be told in the exact way it came in their head. They feel like if they filter it, they are lying. But they don't realize they aren't lying. They don't realize every thought that comes into their head isn't always right, isn't always kind, and is completely counterproductive to building relationships.
You need to realize that no one is bulletproof. Even blunt people. Blunt people always act like you can say anything to them but they have soft spots too. A lot of the time, the soft spot is that people think they are jerks cause of how blunt they are.
Just like men, women have no problem with straightforward, honest people. But both men and women have a problem with someone when that person is more focused on saying what they think is true as opposed to caring enough to not want to hurt you.
A woman wants a man who will protect her and not hurt her. If your words are always hurting the women in your life, even if you think you are being honest, then that's why they pull away. Because the best relationships are the ones where people support each other and are kind to each other. Always telling them what you think isn't being truthful, it's hurting them. And no one wants to be hurt by a lover.
I just think you need to realize there are certain traits that are completely detrimental to relationships. Like being thrifty is a great trait. It's great to save money for the future. Being thrifty in a relationship actually hurts it. There is nothing wrong with spending time with friends every night. But doing it in a relationship will kill the relationship. It's the same with being completely straightforward.
It's one of those things that you can refuse to stop it and make it a hill to die on but you'll be doing it alone.20 Reply
Most Helpful Opinions
+1 yIt depends a lot on the kind of girl. I know many that proclaim they want an honest guy. The trouble is, they also want to hear nothing but praises, agreements and things like "you're beautiful".
But I guess most people would prefer hearing something nice instead of "the ugly truth".
Personally, I love this sort of guys. No - really. :D I can't stand cowards or boys that are afraid of having their own opinion. And if that means I'll have to hear something I'd rather not sometimes, it is OK. As long as it's true, almost everything is. It's SO much better than deciphering some liar's compliments and similar.
In fact, I find bluntness attractive. Just not if you use that as an excuse for being overly critical or nasty. Those things are better kept under control.
I am also very honest and straightforward. Sometimes, it's just better to keep a certain opinion to yourself when you're dealing with a total stranger or someone non-tolerant, but never lie. And don't try to change yourself.
You can say stuff girls like to hear, but it will only get you a vain, self-absorbed ... um, girl.
Every girl is different, really. I rpomise you will find someone who will love your bluntness. In fact, I don't think that'll be difficult at all. :)45 Reply- +1 y
Why thank you! ^_^ That made my evening lol lol.
Seriously, don't change. There's a bunch of girls (me included) that just wish they could bump into a guy like that.
Btw, if you need any other help, let me know. - +1 y
Do I walk around telling children there's no father xmas....no.
you are right tho more or less. it helps to have an open inquizitive mind when it comes to ppl. people are interesting. take sex ofr instance. if a guy is all about busting a nut, then you will be blessed with the crapest sex life known to man. if he is hanging on to make you happy ...again that's crap. truly is is good to be intereted in other ppl. honesty is a quality tho and something to be admired both for its boldness & integrity. - +1 y
No woman wants a man who points out her fuses and tells her unattractive she is. Why the fuck are you dating a girl you find this unattractive? And blunt people can’t take the harsh brutal honesty about themselves back. Shallow cruel narcissistic losers.
+1 yhaha its funny that you say that because all I ask for is a straightforward guy.. I feel people should just say what they mean and mean what they say but people just bullsh*t to much.. if everyone in the world would just say things they way they are the world would be less complicated
68 Reply- +1 y
That is exactly why I am that way, I literally think it became a "thing" to do was to bullsh*t and see what you can get away with. NO! I have two kids and I refuse to lead by example and teach my kids to bullsh*t their way through life, that removes all the value of the rewards for being yourself!
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Yea it really does its almost like refusing to accept life for what it really is
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There's obviously more to this story. Are you fat? Are you ugly? Do you not work out and take care of yourself? Because every girl I know likes guys that are straight forward and honest. Hell, even guys love that about girls. Something else is going on here and you're either being creepy or dishonest or too forward or fat or ugly or whatever. This question is the most retarded question ever. You need to be more honest with your description about what's really going on...
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@Bauer,u need to check yourself, cause this is a internet site that allows you to speak your mind doesn't mean you should be a jackass. First look at my profile before you judge my appearance, neither fat nor ugly and the fact you say that only shows how shallow you really are. And as for the being more honest and elaboration, its a general question you fucc ass, obviously this question was pretty decent when 780+ people view with 10+ female answers and 10+ male answers, women lie men lie #s dnt lie
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He can't check your profile because you're in anon-mode. Duh.
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For me, being straightforward is always a good thing. I do not care if girls will be pissed off, what is the use if they want honesty but they do not like straightforward guys? they are bitches! when i say it, i mean it!
+1 ylink
There's a paragraph in that. It goes like this:
"It would seem, that the male gender role has been socially engineered so that if a human that is born male is emotionally weak and easily manipulated, controlled, pushed over and able to be walked all over; he is of use to women. But if he is emotionally too strong, to the point where he cannot be manipulated, controlled, pushed over, or able to be walked on; he is of no use to women. In fact, as Esther Villar suggests, the previous statement would create feelings of sexual desire in women. For women punish male behavior that doesn't cater to their needs, and reward male behavior that caters to their needs. There is a motivation to change others to cater to her needs, while ignoring, belittling or vilifying his. For this reason, there is no attraction to a man who is already a useful & properly programmed. One who isn't however, is an object of interest, and in need of changing so that he can be useful to her like all others. This is how the "fairer sex" has crafted gender roles; to cater to HER needs, with very little to no emphasis on others."
Basically, If you're honest, blunt and straightforward, and she didn't do anything to "earn" that, she's not gonna be attracted to you. I know it sounds silly, but it is what it is. Not all girls are like this, but the vast majority are childish, immature, and hopeless to the point that they have no clue what it is they want and/or what they're attracted to. These girls are completely oblivious to the fact that there are perfectly decent guys right in front of them who are more than capable of making them happy, and instead they go after assholes who lie, cheat, and treat them like garbage. Because to them, those guys are more "interesting".
Now here's how you deal with this - if a women becomes uninterested over the fact that you're honest, straightforward, and caring, ditch her for the piece of garbage that she is, and move on to someone else. Some girls just aren't worth your time.47 Reply- +1 y
I Disagree, You can still be honest, straightforward and blunt and still be an asshole.
For example: "i hate your hair and your boobs are too small."
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Yeah you can also be fat, ugly, and still be an idiot. What's your point? lol I never said honest and straightforward guys were perfect.
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The point is, you mentioned "caring" he didnt.
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Its about emotional independence. would you climb a tree with bendy/weak branches? no. then don't expect a girl to hop on board if you are being too nice and basically begging mercy of other for your beliefs. I can tell people in real life I disagree with them without even arguing. I just look them in the eye and say I disagree. as for the girls... its not ALL a game. game is like the female bjj they use to trap wrestlers in ufc. just know your submission defense and plough on through lol
(no rape) - +1 y
You are definitely ending up alone in life. Lol have fun being single with comments like that
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@superdudeman have fun being single for the rest of ur life loser
+1 yHonest and straightforward are fine. Blunt isn't. Blunt = ignorant/naive/rude/inconsiderate/etc. Women tend to prefer their men be **socially savvy.** Blunt/rude/inconsiderate isn't socially savvy. Speaking your mind is fine--speaking your mind without any filter whatsoever is not (because that's just the same as not having a mind).
Illustration:
**Blunt**
Girl: "Do you have a girlfriend?"
Blunt Fool: --deadpan expression, muted speech, glancing off to side-- "No."
Girl: "Oh... so [generic, conversation ending question]..."
(he just revealed he's an idiot other women don't find attractive, so time to stop speaking to Blunt Fool)
**Socially Savvy**
Girl: "Do you have a girlfriend?"
Sexy Guy: --devious, alluring grin, strong eye contact-- "Hmm, now why would you want to know that?" --leans in toward Girl-- "What do you think?"
Girl: **blushes, getting wet**
(obviously the answer is... well, it doesn't matter, because he's interested in her, and fuck, she wants him since he isn't Blunt Fool)
See the difference?01 Reply- +1 y
Your examples were pathetic? Where the hell did you read this shit? This would only work on 16 year olds or low quality cheap trashy women. Lmao
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
17Opinion
Well, Like all things are you keeping a balance in your honesty? Regardless of the issue if you go too far it might cause issues. I am an honest, blunt and straightforward kind of girl. Everybody thinks I am a hard ass cause of that but I am sensitive in the inside. With friends is hard sometimes, cause I am honest with them but sometimes truths have to be fed in tea spoons not bucket fulls. Like if a girl asks you " I am fat" BOOM that is a killer question cause if you say yeah guess what happened you hurt her feelings and most likely she will not want to deal with you. but if you cushion the fall and follow it through with" I like you just the way you are". You might have some grace on the matter. You might be a Sagittarius if you are truly shockingly honest, but just remember keep a balance on what you say, because people are more sensitive than what you think. I have the same problem you do with guys lol This society is base on sugar coats so when you break the norm you might run into issues.
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+1 ySee, I tend to get very skeptical when people say they have a "blunt" personality and people just "can't handle their honesty," because what I tend to find is that they don't realize that you can be honest/straight forward AND nice about it. Blunt people tend to think that anything other than brutal honesty is just babying/sugar coating and that's simply not true. Women, respectable women, want an honest guy who can communicate his feelings, but it has to be with tact and respect for people's feelings. For example, a woman is trying on a dress that is too small for her and does not look good on her. She comes out of the fitting room and asks you how she looks in it. You can either say "That dress is way too small for you and makes you look fat" or you can say "That dress does not flatter your figure, let's find a better dress". BOTH are being honest and telling the woman that the dress does not work on her, but one is showing tact and respect for her feelings. I don't know how your bluntness works, but I'm just talking from my experience with "blunt" people.
20 Reply
+1 yIts not the traits that they are being turned off by, its what you say and how you say them that they are.
Social interactions are about saying the right thing at the right time and the right way.
You can be honest as hell, but at the end of the day, that's not what gets you a girlfriend.
Especially if you tell a girl you really like her within the first 3 minutes of talking to her.
OR you tell her that she has sweet delicious t*ts, as the first thing that comes out of your mouth.
Both of them your being blunt an honest. But both of them don't work.
Ok, they work sometimes, but mostly not.55 Reply- +1 y
True but that isn't how I'm expressing these traits, its more like they will talk about something that I know for a fact isn't the complete truth and I can't stand that so I will voice my opinion and because its so strong and valid they get mad because its like I put them on "blast"....so I see what you mean but I'm not that eeehhhhggggg
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Never argue with a woman, or try to convince her that she’s wrong. That shows that you’re uncertain about your position the willingness to debate shows that it’s an issue. No your reality is SET and UNCHANGEABLE directly responding to her questions about it acknowledge that it is not so, not to mention that it could cause conflict. Instead of responding to what she says, we respond to her. We JUDGE her.
What is judging? Rather than making it about the issue you make it a - +1 y
Rather than making it about the issue you make it about her. , You aren’t being mean you are rather making an observation about her that is both congruent with your frame being stronger than hers AND continuing your relationship with her.
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If you were to argue with her you would come off as an *******. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that your frame is the truth, just know that it’s “good” (or in this case, a “good” thing to have). In other words, don’t point out that she’s wrong even if you’re judging her at the same time.
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More pua vomit. he's kinda right and kinda wrong. look at the mental hurdles you are going through for the opposite sex superdudeman. tell me you haven't asked yourself if their ain't something better than living like that. you are basically suplicating on a massive scale and then acting like you aint. you never just think...f*** the bitch lol next!
+1 ythis is really good question . because honestly I found myself doing the same thing with my boyfriend . and I sat and thought to myself why am I acting like this? and as I was thinking about it I guess girls are so use to guys lieing and when they finally met a guy that's sraight forward then they don't knw how to react to the guy . for an example a lot of females believe that when their boyfriend's lie then that means that he loves her because he's willing to lie instead of being straight forward and faceing the consequences .(which can lead to break up) and he rather lie to keep her , so I guess that when a guy tells the truth that turn most girl's off beacuse they proubably think like damn he just says yeah I did this or did that with no promblem which makes it seem like he doesn't care about looseing he.
you should just explain to the girl that your a very straight forward and blunt man and you don't lie . and you rather face the consequences of your actions and be honest then to lie to her .03 Reply- +1 y
I think your on to something, I remember as a young man growing up when I was with my girl and I wasn't be the most honest person, she knew the whole time I wasn't being honest. But I would come home to her and I think she knew I didn't want to loose her so she stayed with me. I never really thought of it that way but damn that is horrible. I do now tell all girls I'm very blunt and honest which the worst part is they think I'm lying lol
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Ahaa . yeah I bet they do think your lieing but like I said that's just because their not use to guy's like you that's honest and blunt . but just don't tell them your honest let them see that thruu you actions and not your words .
almost like us girls have to see it to believee it . - +1 y
I think its a mis nomer. its not really about honesty. its an ignorance to the deeper aspects of male female relationships that will get him in trouble. girls do live in a slightly different world. if a hot girl went up to every guy in a night club and said I want to f*** you now. she wouldn't sleep lonely. if a guy did it, a lot of people would think he's a rapist. if we were all the same wed all be f***in ourselves.
+1 ythey don't neccesarily have to be a turn off for a girl, we just usually want to make a guy work for our trust, because we can be unsure. It really depends on the girl though, because if she is shy, she might be intimidated, and if she's fiery she might just jump on you. and if she is stuck up or just isn't feeling it she can be unsure or annoyed at the moment. I personally need a guy who is straight up and forward, simply because I don't like guys who act like bitches. but some girls do.
good luck!13 Reply- +1 y
mr. davy jones, maybe that's why you like this site? hmmm?
+1 yHmm I don't know what girls you been seeing lol...no offense.. but I tell my girlfriend toya anything I'm thinking of doing she might not like. She is the same way we don't hide our feeling because we don't want to hurt each other. I mean if your a straight forward guy there's certain things you can't really say on a first impression since first impressions are everything. If you see a girl and you been drinking actingall crazy and saying perverted stuff they obivously wouldn't like it, But I'm pretty sure if you meet a girl for the first time and you shouldn't come onto her too strong cause that's going to push her away...
11 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yBrother, there is no honest one in this world. We are all born to lie, manipulate, and decive one another. For example, if you girl is a bit fat, and you she wears fight tight wedding gown which not only shows her protruding belly but also her disfigured tights, boody, and else,. And then she ask you "what do you think"? you don't say, "oh, holly crab babby, you look ugly on this, or take it off and wear someonething doesn't show your belly or blah balh." you have to use polite words and say, you are beautiful on this and maybe give a suggestion if you might. We don't say or share what we privately do when we are alone. We don't tell people minor crimes we commit every week, month, day. Some you can be arrest but we don't share nor do expect even to be arrest for it. Therefore, being honest and straightorward does not exist in the nature of human co-existence. Ask any business sales person to honestly describe the ingredients and value of his/her product. NO one can do that because it is not the interest nor the philosophy of business. Everthing is abased on tactics, time, and decietful but legal procedures to win the hearts and minds of everyone. I would suggest you do not share your personal life or become honest and straightforward person in this world, but a tacticful, loyal, and manipulative who can win the hearts and minds of others even when they don't know your last name or where you were born. I have friends who do not know where in the world I came from but they depend and love me more than than they do their families and they do because I have to protect real private life for security reasons and do our business legally.
03 Reply
Opinion Owner+1 yIn this world, goverments, and businesses depend on people who hide their true identities. For example, spy, dectives, moles, corporate researches who might want to have access to another companies progress by hiring a person and then estabilishing a way to make their person to get in the competting companies busines. You don't go to interview and say, why you were fired if you were fired but make excuses. When we make excuses we are liying and I am 100% sure you make excuses at least twice .
- +1 y
That's a negative too, because the employer can always find out the reason by contacting the previous employer and ask why I was fired which my excuse will simply be blown. This is something I did when I applyed to be a boarder patrol agent because if they found out I lie about anything I would loose my opportunity as opposed to telling the truth and they will more than likely make an exception...Sorry guy but there is never any reason so lie, that's just your preference which is sad and pathetic
+1 yBecause many people use "being honest and straightforward" as their excuse to be "rude and offensive". It's completely possible to be honest without being rude, but most people are to lazy to figure out how. Also, "being honest" does not mean "say whatever the hell you want." Being honest does not give you license to not filter your thoughts.
People who don't understand that are simply unlikable and immature.
Chances are, women are attracted to your "honesty" and then get tired of you when they find your "honesty" is just you being an ass.514 Reply- +1 y
Now that is very understandable and reasonable because men have become masters at putting up a facade to mask their true "self". The thing is I don't use it to say what the hell I want and most of my honesty is literally my honest opinon on the subject/matter at hand, yet I do hear they take it offensive quite a bit.
- +1 y
Well, clearly that's not true - if what you say about the women you meet IS true. The only common denominator is YOU. I find it hard to believe that you are meeting so many shallow women, frankly. There seems to be a disconnect between your presentation of self and your self-perception. Life experience has shown me that you probably are rude but have little self-awareness.
- +1 y
To a point it is me and I'm meaning that I take responsibility to my own actions and my awareness is scary on point. I get the nick name Mr. Intuitive because I really tend to know thing without being talked to. But I'm not one to bullsh*t and when someone starts to bullsh*t to me I just simply call it out and it doesn't really turn out the best. I'm not saying every time I call someone out on their bullsh*t its right, but I also can't let it go kinda like pride for most men.
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And, again, what you call "bullsh*t" others probably call interpersonal skills. "Bullsh*t" is responding to "Does this make me look fat?" with "No! You look like Megan Fox!!" Interpersonal skills are responding with "No, but I think *this* dress makes you look much more stylish and sexy." Rude is saying "yes." You have your own personality, but don't be upset if people don't like it.
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Exactly funny you will try to break it down because I don't use either of the 3 lol "Does this make me look fat?" my answer "Why would you feel insecure about it?" see most of my answers from a question are responded with a question to further understand the basis of why they are asking, simple phsycology. I'm not religous but I'm very spiritual and I live by this "Jesus never answered a question with a straight answer, he always relied with a question for others to figure it out themselves.
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There's your problem. By questioning her insecurity, you invalidate her feelings. She's insecure, those are her feelings, whether or not you agree with or understand them. People in general don't like being told their feelings are wrong. In fact, they generally take it as an attack on their person. No one like to stay in a relationship when their feelings are attacked.
- +1 y
... a more sensitive response would be, "I think you look wonderful. I wouldn't want to be seen with any girl but you." You see, that's what she's really wondering. Call it bullsh*t if you like.
- +1 y
A question can't be an attack, that doesn't make logical sense. I can agree questioning her insecurity would invalidate her feelings, because she is asking to simply get a compliment out of me to make herself feel better, but 9/10 times whatever she would say to the insecure question would be a compliment anyways. Basically saying there is no reason to ask such a question like "does this make me look fat"
- +1 y
Oh, lord. You really are clueless, aren't you? Go ahead and stick with your guns. Good luck on future relationships.
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Wow, ManAmongBoys you are so right on!! Seriously, you hit the nail on the head over and over again.
And to the question asker 1) I am called intuitive. I have never been called blunt. They don't have to co-exist. 2) You are not Jesus. He was gentle enough to have another man lay on his chest during a feast. So he seemed to balance question asking with gentleness very well. 3) Asking a woman "Why would you feel insecure about it?" is a quick way to p*ss her off. Why? Because no one
- +1 y
I'm intuitive as well....so I understand they don't co-exist....nobody claimed of being jesus....and it shouldn't p*ss her off because I'm questioning it because if I'm already with her she has no need to be insecure about it...i care for her the way she is and if she is trying to impress others then why would she ask me in the first place.....?
- +1 y
See? There you go again: dictating. She "shouldn't" feel that way. But she does. Apparently, your idea of "honest" is the same as "feel exactly how I do." As I said - clueless.
+1 ySome things you need to lie about, because honestly a girl lies about things too. Like a girl might be bothered by the shoes you're wearing to your date, but she won't say anything because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings or just because she thinks that it's not so important.
So in return it's kinda appropriate if you don't tell a girl to her face what kind of flaws she has or that other girls are so much hotter than her...or whatever random thing might offend her. Now you don't know what might offend a girl, but some things are just obvious. Like she looks tired and just not as nice as usual - just don't comment on her dark circles.
So respect wins over bluntness and honesty - but otherwise be as blunt as you like.20 Reply
+1 yMy current boyfriend was very blunt when he first met me. He told me he had heard good things about me and even though he didn't really know me he would date me. At first, I hesitated because the guy I dated before him was also very blunt and he turned out to be a jerk. But ultimatly, I decided it was a good thing despite the fact that my prior ex also had that trait. I can see how it would be a turn on and turn off at the same time. People like to be told the truth and hear about their good traits but at the same time don't like to have their bad points brought up.
10 Replywe just want you to be honest...thats all...and some things should be kept private. I find that I'm very open and guys seem to dislike it...so I hold back...just don't act on every impulse. keep it balanced. be yourself...I really like that type of guy. just say what you mean...I don't like liars or people who say things to please them.
25 Reply- +1 y
Interestingly, you are very open and guys dislike it? Strange because I find it extremely difficult to get a woman to open up, because of past experiences they are normally very gaurded. But its starting to be interesting to know quite a few girls here say they like that type of guy but can't seem to find anyone personally....hmmmm
I am all for the honest guy.. really. I just think some people don't want to hear the truth about what's bothering or what their partner wants form them. I have just grown up on a very direct family and so I'm used to it and like it. People should just get to the point.
12 Reply
+1 yIf you are offending women, then obviously you are doing something wrong and being rude. In fact, I believe that's what differentiates 'blunt' from other types of honesty, it's saying something in a manner that is not tactful. Girls love honesty and someone who can be straightforward about their intentions is refreshing. Clearly, it's the way you are doing it and going about it that is not working to your advantage, and if you are hurting people then you need to take note of how or why and if you are still clueless, ask and find out so you don't keep repeating it.
14 Reply- +1 y
First you shouldn't assume its directed towards my actions. Second there is a difference, but there are those out there that can't handle the truth because I have witnessed it. And what's with this word tactful? I mean if I feel like your talking to me because your attracted or sexually interested, but the moment I bring it up and that person changes and acts uninterested, they simply can't handle certain truths. Its like its refreshing to be that way, but you have to be sly with what you want lol
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Dude if a girl is being sexual with you, why would you point that out? You sound like the biggest creeper guy ever. Lost in your own prideful mentality. Girls like to have fun and here you are raining down on their parade and ruining it. No wonder you're a virgin. Yes, girls like honesty, but they like to have fun as well. Stop being a college professor and start being a fun dude!
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@bauer are you stupid? first I didn't point out their sexual actions, just said if they are sexually interested. Second you called me a virgin? lmao I have to kids and you call me a virgin, damn I'm not tryin to be a professor but you definitely need to be a better student because you don't know much about life.....have fun is a must I agree, but being truthful shouldn't rain on someone's parade.
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By honesty girls mean a guy that doesn’t play them around and is sincere in his interest. Not an autistic retard that calls them fat and ugly and tells them to get a boob job. The fuck.
+1 yI like guys like that because I never have to guess where I stand with them. Its either he likes me or he doesn't. I also try to be all of those things because that's what I want in a guy and some times its a turn off and others its not. Just keep looking.
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+1 yYes.We want an honest,blunt and straightforward guy.I don't do well with hints,I myself am pretty outspoken and will let the person know how I feel.
There's a HUGE difference between being honest,blunt and straight forward & being a rude,disrespectful asshole.
i.e:
"your t*ts are too small"----Disrespectful,rude and should be kept to yourself.If those were your thoughts,you shouldn't be with the person.
"you are ugly"----disrespectful and completely out of line,why would you be with them.
We wants honest,if we ask you something,be honest,if it's a "tricky question" find the right words to answer,we well,I want someone who is straightforward and doesn't beat around teh bush or give "hints" and blunt,says what's on your mind at the right time.21 ReplyIn any relationship there is the give and take of getting to know someone. Yes we say we want honesty, and we do, but we want you to be on the same level we are. If you are disclosing at a faster rate than we are, we may feel like you are rushing. Another problem with it is the blunt factor. We want honest but we want gentle. Some people mistake being blunt for being rude or tactless. That will also turn some girls off in the beginnings of a budding relationship.
40 Reply
+1 yI think I can understand your confusion. There are plenty of women who appreciate a man who is honest and straightforward--those are great personality traits. I think that your dilemma may have more to do with being "blunt". When I think of someone being blunt, I immediately think of them as being tactless, insensitive, crass. The dictionary suggests this definition for someone who is blunt: Lacking in feeling; insensitive. There is a major distinction between being straightforward and honest and being rude. I'm not trying to suggest that you yourself are rude, but the fact that you chose the word "blunt" suggests that perhaps you've come across as unkind or insensitive to the women you've dated. I require the folks that I date to be honest and straightforward, but if I catch them being "blunt" with me or anyone else who is undeserving of such treatment, especially early into the relationship, it just won't work out.
Good luck!10 Reply
Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 yIt depends on your definition of straightforward. I have found that most people theoretically like the idea of someone being clear with them but when being clear includes espousing a lot of your opinions and emotions without a filter, most of us won't sign up for that. Some I have met who call themselves straightforward and blunt, should actually say they are insensitive and rude. In fact, I have met a few like this that are unable to take the exact same communication from others.
You would really need to provide examples of what you say and do. For example, if you told an overweight date without her ever asking your opinion "You are fat and could use losing some pounds.", not cool. If your date was to ask you if you liked her figure and you told her "I would prefer it if you lost some weight." well, that is honest, not rude, but of course, some still wouldn't like it.11 Reply- +1 y
Well the overweight comment is a huge example. See someone asked me "if I liked her figure" liked her figure, then more than likely an answer is like this "of course I'm with you and attracted to you, what isn't there to like?" see it's honest, but I throw in an extra question to figure more of her basis in asking the question in the first place.
+1 yWell the girls who you been seeing are complete bitches I believe that honesty is one of the most important quaility. You will meet the right person just give it time. But when you first meet a girl don't tell her your life. Listen to her life to first. Women love to her themselves talk just be a good listener and when you find a common interest then repsond in the conversation. But do not freak out that you want honesty , When the relationship becomes more serious then talk about honesty.
10 ReplyI like honest guys. Does my butt actually look big? Tell me to change out of those jeans. Am I being a bitch? Call me out and tell me I need to take a chill pill. Don't be rude or insulting about it, just be straightforward.
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+1 yBeing honest is great! You never have to guess about straightforward people. There are some times though when it isn't necessary and could just hurt feeling, like if I'm having a bad hair day, please don't point it out I know. Maybe you where honest about who you are and you're just not their type. Girls are confusing. Sometimes I don't understand myself :P
10 Replyi think you need to realize that you are always emitting values to women. sometimes you are leaching value of others. there's nothing wrong with being rudely honest, il say it again...theres nothing wrong with being rudely honest. but by being socially unaware or inept you are telling her on a primeval level it is better to invest her eggs somewhere else.
12 Reply- +1 y
So many unnamed dynamics going on in your q its hard to know where to start.
its not an ethical question its a relationship one. .
its like bad guy v good guy. people don't realize there's a host of things going on under the surface to do with emotional independence and strength. its not just about being a dumb f***in idiot.
as with the honesty thng...if it means confident and assertive then that's good.
if it means ignorant deluded and 1 dimensional then that's (usually) bad.
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yyoull find someone!
i would rather have a gut that tell me things straightforward than always has me wondering. a little mystery keeps interest, don't forget that! you don't want her to know everything about you right away because then there's nothing left to find out.
as long as your bluntness isn't rude, and you are keeping her feelings in mind, you'll be fine!10 ReplyMost likely the women either do not like that you are bluntly honest or they do not believe you are telling the truth. See all men tell women they are very honest and telling the truth. Unfortunately for you only a small percentage of them are really honest so women tend not to believe men when they say they are being honest.
10 Reply
+1 yWell, they all want an honest and straightforward guy they can rely upon, but when it comes to sex and dating, they want an "animal", someone that they cannot catch, someone that will tell them sweet little lies, etc, etc...
So, in short, they need a schisophrenic person, one for living with, one for "bed activities"... ;)
It's the only way to keep them interested, to make them hunt you as longas you can. Being uncaught is what keeps their attention...12 Reply- +1 y
This should be best answer
+1 yOh my God. I am EXACTLY the same way. I am a very straightforward, honest, blunt, and direct person. I am like this to everyone, regardless of gender, that's just my personality trait and honestly I like blunt guys because they understand why I am blunt too, hahaha! So don't generalize that girls don't like blunt guys. Every person is different and it really depends on the person.
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+1 yBeing a straightforward man is always the best thing at all times. I do not care if girls will be pissed of to me, the important thing is i say what i mean. What is the use of being honest if they do not like straightforward? they are bitches! a man is a man! you do not put a man's level as girl's. When i say it, i mean it! If you girls want an honest guy, expect that there are guys who are straightforward to you. If boys are lying, you girls are mad. But if the boys are striaghtforward, honest and blunt, you girls are still mad! WHAT THE HELL? i rather want to be an honest sinner than to be a lying hypocrite. You bitches!!!
00 Reply377 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Being honest and straight forward is good. Being blunt, not as much. I am like that, but I'm trying to change it, because I noticed that what I say can be quite hurtful; even when not intentional. People in general don't like to be criticized, and a white lie never heard nobody.
I myself think honesty is good, but the rest of the world doesn't seem to agree XD02 Replyit's not honesty it's about staying a MYSTERY over a peird of time or having magnatic attraction around everyone! Anyone can be a ass. But if your a person all the chicks like and want to meet and you can prove it when she's having a hissy fit, you can be straight forward and have all the chicks also. Try asking girls how to or what now questions.. Have you ever heard of the 11th man? Google it?
01 Reply- +1 y
Lol I hope you downloaded that sh*t and ain't paying 100s of dollars to go to seminars in pick up.
this guy is half right. he needs to get beyond the '''what works on women paradigm'' and get to a ''beyond pua and living his life enriched by the sh*t he found out'' stage. I don't think the asker necessairly cares ''what works on women''. he just don't like been told he should lie and I feel that. however he is acting like diarrhea, if he is not also listening and communicating.
It's not just about these traits friend. I was in the same position as you for awhile and I started to realize that those "jerks" who girls always go for get girls because they're interesting. It's also the reason why they stay single. Just remember to keep it light and interesting at the start and remember this; there's a difference between being nice and being friendly.
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+1 ybecause sometimes it just makes you seem like a jerk. maybe you should learn from all these incidents and maybe reword what you say.
i am similar a VERY straightforward blunt person. I'm not being a bitch I'm only being honest and what I had to do for myself is to learn when it is appropriate to say certain thing.00 Reply
+1 yI'm straight forward and honest and I just want the same especially if the guy was interested in me or we are dating it's less confusing and it also reduces fighting due to misunderstandings.
21 Reply- 300 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
+1 ywhat? those guys are the best..soem girls are just too sensitive
12 Reply- +1 y
And you are probably an asshole douchebag who needs to keep his big mouth closed.
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yI wish everyone could be straight forward, that's what I look for in a guy but then again every once in awhile we don't want to hear the brutal truth. We just want you to go with the flow and just say nice things not say something that would totally kill the moment..sometimes it's just better to try and bite your tongue. Ik you may not want to do that because you always want to be honest but it may be the best way. You could eventually work your way into that transition on being completely honest all the time. Just in the beginning first impressions are everything and a little white lie never hurt anyone. Just until you figure out if it's all worth it or not.
02 Reply- +1 y
Now I agreed with everything you said until you said a little lie never hurt anyone, I just can't agree with that comment, all lies have a reprocussion no matter how small or large. Yet you still say a lot of good things, like sometimes its best to bite your tounge, in this case it would be called swallowing your pride. Thank you
+1 yThat's strange because I love guys like you. No joke, those traits are what attracted me to my ex. He was blunt, truthful and generally honest. I found it completely refreshing x
10 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 ythere is a time for everything, it's not about honesty that will make you survive, it's about knowing when to lie, and when not to lie, it's like a game that the rules should be understood, so quit being honest and do what is right, that is whether you have to lie, or you have to tell the truth, you should know when to do what you have to do.
08 Reply- +1 y
No I'm not going to degrade myself let alone mis represent everything I stand for to lie. A lie is for people that are too afraid to take responsibility for their own actions, lets take your anonymous answering pathetic self as an example. Why would you answer anonymously? either you don't want others to know what you really think or your just afraid of owning up to your pathetic self because you lie. hmmmm is that honest, straightforward enough for you?
Opinion Owner+1 ySo you ask a question anonymously, that makes you pathetic like me. In case you think you have taken or added anything to me by this, your mistaken, but anyway if you know what doing what is right means, one ought to know the time to tell the truth and face the consequences or not to tell the truth, it makes you stupid if you simply tell the truth without thinking. By me saying that one ought to do the right thing, am on your side, although your trying to start up an argument
Opinion Owner+1 yAlright, I do not think you have been in a situation where lieing will hurt less than telling the truth, and where you have to lie for the better, but any way that's not the point. what's your take on the saying there is a "time for everything", a time to be born, a time to die, a time to cry, a time to rejoice, a time to be sad, a time to be happy;then her it comes; also a time to lie and a time to tell the truth; what opions do you have on that? because your saying NEVER lie.
Opinion Owner+1 yI cn pay attn to details, but compared to a person with OCD, the latter does it more than me, the latter takes it to extremes, since you say NEVER lie, is it okay if I compared you with a person with OCD? your taking NEVER lie to it's extremes I presume.
- +1 y
Not taking it to an extreme at all, there is not a time to lie because the truth may hurt but a lie hurts worse. A lie only delayes the inevitable of someone learning the truth, though there are times people never learn the truth which is where I was assume that the saying "ignorace is bliss" comes in. Lies are for the weak and ill mannered let alone serve no actual purpose but to be deceitful and overall morally wrong. I don't care the extreme I treat others the way I want to be treated
- +1 y
This guys clued up. I too don't believe its about being dishonest. I know guys who haqve plenty of women and who have told them to their face they are dating more than one girl and they don't want to be in a relationship or get tied down. I admire the askers honesty and the answers inquizitive mind and attempt at understanding. its like ying and yang. I do wish youd both eschew the anonymous tag tho.
- 1.8K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
+1 ywhoa. I want a straight forward, genuinely nice and honest guy, apparently every single douche bag I've dated has not been any of these qualities. it would be great to find an actually nice guy.
10 Reply If you are a real straight forward honest guy stay that way because that is a good guy. I wish I could find a guy like you!
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+1 ygirls like to be appraised =P And if the guy is blunt then he won't say things like 'you look really pretty today' very often and the girl won't want him as much. Sounds mean, but we girls can be like that! =)
03 Reply- +1 y
True, I'm wrong. I guess it depends on the guy T.T =) =D =} =]
- +1 y
See this is the thing. If I really like a girl, I think she always looks nice. Your mind trucks you to overlook flaws cause you like someone. Well if you compliment too much, nowadays your screwed. If you don't compliment enough, your screwed. And if you compliment in the wrong way, your also screwed.
+1 yI recently asked a question to girls about how they'd react if their boyfriend said one of their friends was prettier than them. It's my only question, go and check it out if you want.
Be honest, that's great; but be sensitive as well.02 Reply
+1 ywell, the women you talk to are stupid lol there are sooooooo many girls tht are looking for guys like you lol
10 Reply
+1 yI like guys that are straight forward, but don't go out of their way to hurt other people with their comments.
10 Reply
+1 yUmm because that would make them a douche. And women don't like douchey guys. They take enough crap from other women. Women want guys to treat them like princesses, durrr.
01 ReplyWell. There is a difference between being honest and being a jerk.
As for straight-forward, that's great and all, but kind of boring. Where's the challenge? All you're going to attract with that is a girl who will use you for attention when other guys make her feel crappy about herself.10 Reply
+1 yBecause there's a thin line between honest, blunt and straightforward and arrogant, rude and abnoxious
21 ReplyWell dude, I got u exactly what u meant. I am like u a bit. I am not expressive but whenever I express my feelings or deal with women I am honest in my approach. I don't like sugar coating & fake attitudes. I am also open about my sex desires too. For u I would say u better try to date honest women & be blunt but don't be too open bcz many women find it offensive if guys talk openly about things like if a man likes a woman's Butt, B**bs or being too fast towards sex etc. It can offend most women
00 Reply
Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 ywhat exactly are you being honest about? her hair, her butt? the relationship? please elaborate. and give an example of what you said, because I just can't see why this is an issue. I prefer also a guy who says it like it is. saves time.
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Opinion Owner+1 yDo you mean you are in an exclusive / commitment with someone and then you go out and flirt? then I'll have to agree with the ladies. but if not, and it's on those terms in agreement, I'd have to say why bother even telling them unless you're trying to hurt them or make them jealous?
Opinion Owner+1 yWell I am all for it if you're not going out of your way to injure anyone. you should be honest.
because us girls wanna get straight to the point then rather wait for a long time to then get the answer...it also makes us trust and belive the guy and sumtimes it makes us want to stick around.
00 ReplyToo honest can verge on insulting.
Too blunt can verge on impolite.
Solution: when you have offended someone with your honesty or bluntness, try to be more tactful and less honest.00 Reply
+1 yGood-ass question... wish people wouldn't be so PC, overly nice... People SHOULD be somewhat transparent and blunt...
04 Reply- +1 y
Yup...
- +1 y
Lol luckily I believe in equality of opportunity and freedom then. cos I I'm sure if it werent for PC you would be getting trolled like a norwegian bridge in a fairy story.
nice name. you are black. well done. nice to know you got something going for you. now imagine if I made an account calling myself white superman. as for attacking pc ...hmmm kind of agree BUT PC is also what stops people getting abused racially. sexually and in terms of gender in work. so I agree with it in that context. - +1 y
Ok DJ... *SHRUGS*
Anonymous(36-45)+1 yim about as honest and straightforward as you can get. and my GIRLFRIEND. LOVES it. she loves how I can just tell her how I feel, and such, so no the question is a generalization and it happens to be wrong
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+1 yfirst of all what are you talking about? (what are you being honest about?)
01 Reply
+1 yMost guys lik that tend to be rude... Just because your honest doesn't mean your nice ... You speak your mind with out sayin rude insulting comments
00 Reply
+1 yI heard that if you ask every girl at the club if they wanted to have sex with you straight up, you'd find one by the end of the night.
02 Replybecause sometimes it can come across as being rude, you have to know the limits! :)
21 Replythere is a difference between being honest and having no tact dude
10 Reply
Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 yWomen like guy, who can play with their feelings, who can break their hearts, who can treat them as disposable.
11 Reply
+1 yim not sure a lot of girls are just weird like that. I want an honest guy though.
00 Reply
Anonymous(45 Plus)+1 yYeah, I'm confused, most women like straightforward guys. I don't like arrogant know-it-alls, but someone who is blunt and to the point is sexy to me.
00 ReplyPlease don't stop being honest! There should be more people like you! xx
00 Reply- Show More (7)
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