Why don't girls like a "pure" man?

[Anonymous]

I've been under the impression and sometimes have been taught that women like a good, honest guy that remain pure for them. As I've gotten older, I've realized this is almost laughable. I've also been raised by my mother for most of my teen years. Now I like being a great, nice guy and all because I feel like this is just who I am, but when it comes to the lack of pretty much any notable female interest, it bothers me. I'm a pretty good looking guy, no complaints really, not perfect but that shouldn't matter and like NO cute girls have ever seemed interested in me. Every once in a great while I'll have a nice conversation with a pretty girl, but she never ever tries to get to know me on a deeper level or ask for my number or anything.

Now before I continue, I'm usually not interested in these girls either, but I would at least like to know that some girls out there like me or am interested in me. At this point I just want to know that I'm liked.

[Anonymous]

purity isn't something I value in a partner. theyre usually way too conservative for my taste or theyre religious, which also isn't a good match for me. I was pure when I was five years old. I'm a grown woman now. Its not a good match.

Are you sure you're good looking? not to hurt you, but maybe these women don't find you good looking. beauty is subjective, so it doesn't mean other women won't be attracted to you. Maybe you're lacking in social skills or personality for some women. if you're lacking in one of these three areas, that's more likely to be your problem than purity, at least at first. unless you wear your purity on your sleeve and shout it from the rooftops, it isn't likely that a girl lose interest for that reason if everything else is in line.

if you're not interested in them then why does it matter? lol look, think of the reasons you don't like these girls. those may be similar reasons why they also aren't interested in you.

go after women who are into purity or whatever it is you believe in. I've known some girls like that. usually the very very seriously religious girls. my old RA was like that. she usually didn't have a boyfriend but when she did, she wouldn't makeout with him too much because she didn't want to cross the line into something sexual, sometimes she only wanted to kiss in public where things couldn't get out of hand, she didn't like sex or violence or drugs in movies or tv, etc. I remember once I came back and told her I saw Black Swan and asked if she had ever seen it, just trying to make conversation. she gave me this look and said she didn't approve of movies like that because it had sex scenes and lesbian kissing. I literally held back from lmao. different strokes for different folks. either way, those are the girls you should be looking for. I'm not worried about "pure" people being interested in me because I have no interested in them. I couldn't care less. you shouldn't worry about people, in whom you have no interest, liking you.

[Asker]

I feel like the seemingly "pure" girls also go for "impure" guys so it's just lose-lose. I don't go around advertising my purity though either, but I do try to give off a good impression to everyone as a level-headed, modest kind of guy. You won't usually hear me swear even. I think too much profane language comes off as trashy.

[Opinion Owner]

i just explained to you that this isn't always the case, by giving my RA as an example. you can't blanket all women under your bitter assumptions. all you can do is look for people with similar views as you and try to work from there. you'll find someone, especially if you put yourself in the right situations. and just because those types go for guys who are not like you, doesn't mean they won't go for you as well. maybe they like different types. you may still have a chance.

[Opinion Owner]

well try to look for people who also don't like cursing. I'm definitely not one of those people but I've met several women who are on the conservative, modest side. theyre not impossible to find. its likely that you're ignoring the women who would be good matches for you or you're simply looking in the wrong places, not that you should actually be looking for anyone but that's you're choice. I think maybe finding a group, club, or something surrounding your type of morals would be a good step.

[Opinion Owner]

*your choice. mother fu*king, cu*t faced typos. oops, there goes my potty mouth again. :D

[Asker]

Lol... I don't mind a little cursing here or there, but too much (along with a less than desirable attitude) just rubs me the wrong way is all. I just want a fun girl that's pretty but has values too and a level head. I don't feel that's too much to ask for, but in today's world it is apparently because they aren't very common around here.

[Opinion Owner]

you probably just aren't looking in the right places. or do you get out much? I go to school in one of the most liberal cities in the country and I've met a few girls like that. however, that doesn't mean they would be into you as an individual, as you can't force chemistry. if this is really important to you then why don't you try internet dating? a lot of the girls you're looking for are probably online as we speak. good luck with everything.

[Confused75]

We like nice guys...but most nice guys lack confidence. They can be too nice and don't have a backbone at times. For example, if you tell your girl you want to go to so & so restaturant to eat and she's says no I want to go here. Don't right away agree with her without even thinking. I've done this to guys before because I'm naturally a little bossy and it really urks me when then just agree to everything I say. Stick to your guns in any situation, that's all I gotta say.

[Asker]

I am fine with that, I'm just afraid of rejection when I like a girl. Also the past few years I've had a hard time with depression so I feel that made me a little awkward around some girls here or there, like I seemed much shyer to them and it turned them off, which sucks because I was actually depressed and could've actually used a few friends or some people to talk to, instead of weirding them out or whatever it was that happened :/

[Confused75]

Well that may be the case, but there are tons of fishies in the sea. Whenever you get nervous or shy just tell yourself that you only live once and years later you will be saying that the years flew by. Be yourself and find girls that have the sam interests as you and that are not out of your league or anything. That would make anyone shy. Lol

[whosays]

I'm just saying, I'm dating a nice, pure guy...

As long as they make the first move, it often works out for them.

Sadly, not all girls are smart enough to value your habits and traits, but there are some out there, I promise. Try flirting a little bit more maybe? Or going for the shy ones?

Good luck, but I promise, you'll find someone, you are liked!

[sixstring]

You're suffering from the nice guy syndrome because you were raised by women. This is not some rant against women, but most mothers raise their sons to be friendzoned.

When it comes to approaching girls, mothers are pretty much the worst advisers. You need to be more active and take more charge, that's what guys like us mostly lack.

[prettymuscle]

so not true

[sixstring]

Uh, yes it really is.

[calialltheway1993]

I don't think it's laughable to be a good and honest guy. All of us love that in a man. Maybe it's because you're too nice and shy around pretty girls.

[Asker]

I'm not saying being a good guy is laughable, only that the advice that I received is laughable because the real-life outcome is vastly different. Girls really do like the jerk type/idiots. Maybe it's because they just want to hook up with them, and maybe they actually don't like jerks in the long run but I want a lasting relationship, but because a lot of girls don't actually seem to want lasting relationships I'm finding, the older I get, I wonder if they actually do like good guys deep down.

[calialltheway1993]

I honestly don't know why girls like bad boy type. I, myelf, fall for them. Don't ask me why, because I honestly don't know.

I believe every girl want good guys deep down. They just have to take that extra step.

[Asker]

Well like when you're around a good, but shy guy, describe your overall impression of him... is he in any way attractive? Or are you more likely to find him repulsive in a way?

[calialltheway1993]

Hmm... I don't I've ever been around shy guys... but if I were around a shy guy, I would think that he's shy, obviously. I would probably think he's sweet, but maybe not my type, because if he's shy, then he's quiet. If he's quiet, then the whole thing would be awkward for me to handle and continue the convo.

[Asker]

You've had to have been around shy guys before... are you pretty? We do happen to like pretty girls lol.

[calialltheway1993]

Haha no seriously. I'm trying to think and no one comes to mind... wth have I seriously never been around shy guys? You know what? Maybe I have, but they don't show their shyness. Funny story. I was speed walking to my class last semester. A guy yells "hey" 3x. I turned the 3rd time. He comes up to me and says "I gotta say... I see you walk this way and I wanted to let you know that your f*cking gorgeous. Excuse my language, my name is ___" I was just like, thank you?! He shook hands. BUT...

[calialltheway1993]

He tried to shake hands with his left hand!

My point is- he was most likely super nervous and shy for talking to a stranger, and admitting his "feelings" or whatever.

So, that's what I mean. Guys I associate with are probably shy, but they don't show it.

You should do the same thing!

[Asker]

Lol maybe he was left-handed? But what happened after that? What did you think of him as a person?

[calialltheway1993]

No, see, I am left handed and I shake with my right. That's how I knew he was nervous and most likely shy. I don't know about you, but people always shake with their right, whether they're left handed or not.

I thought "awwww" with a little bit of "what a stalker he knows my way"

[Asker]

Another question, not judging lol but why do girls always throw out the stalker comment? It's offensive. It's almost every time that a guy isn't some alpha-douche and actually likes the girl that he gets this comment in return (which is totally undeserved). Maybe because he likes you, he just pays more attention to detail? That's all it is. Very rarely will a guy actually stalk you and by that I mean like never.

[calialltheway1993]

Haha it's all good. For me, when I use the world stalker, I don't literally mean it. I just say it because it goes along with my situation. I know that guy is not a stalker.

I want to know who I've been chatting with. So either, uncheck that anon box, or add me.

[calialltheway1993]

Word*

[Asker]

Hehe, we're actually already friends ;)

[calialltheway1993]

Oh jeez I knew it... OK then, which friend are you? c'mon, don't be shy. Haha, perfect.

[Asker]

I'll send you a message lol.

[EquineJewel]

for me I was attracted to a more 'experienced' guy just cause before him I had never done anything. When I was very religious I was looking for a guy like you

[Anonymous]

honestly I like good and honest men. they are really hard to find though. stay the way you are and I'm sure a very good girl will come along your way someday

[Asker]

This seems to be the typical female response to my problem, yet nothing ever changes. I can't wait around forever.

[Opinion Owner]

hey, I know how you feel. all my friends tell me I'm pure and innocent and I haven't found a guy for me yet. I do agree that waiting isn't fun, but I feel like it is good to be true to yourself. I don't think that many guys go for me either. if you see a girl who you would be interested in, you should try talking/flirting with her and see how it goes. You shouldn't change fundamental things about yourself. keep in mind too that women who are mature would be more likely to go for you.

[Asker]

I do know this, yes, but I don't see a whole lot of mature girls out there and the pretty ones seem to never want to grow up. I know that I'm able to find an attractive girl, but it's partially in their hands too. The more a girl wants to enjoy her youth, the more I'll have to wait around for her. It makes me want to turn around and do the same thing in hopes of attracting her sooner, for example. But promiscuity is against my values and beliefs. I would never sleep with someone I didn't like.

[Opinion Owner]

mature girls who are young are ridiculously hard to find, I know. I really do think it will get better as you get a bit older. girls in their mid twenties are much more mature than girls in their teens-early twenties. I really do have full faith that you will find yourself a great girl someday :)

[Anonymous]

well I like a pure guy...

[MissLeslie]

I do.