Why are men terrified of being feminine?

It seems like the most insulting thing you can say to a man is to call him a woman, or girly. I don't think women are that bad, so why is that so insulting? I think that shows some pretty messed up ideas in our society.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I guess some people are still hung up on obsessively conforming to so-called gender roles. It's stupid. There's no rules about what someone has to do to be a man or woman. People should just do whatever they want and not worry about whether it's "masculine" or "feminine" enough.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I really don't feel comfortable expressing my feelings to other people. I hate when someone tries to help me out, I'd rather do things on my own. It's naturally my personality and of course I have some feminine traits like patience, empathic, thoughtful

    It's insulting to call men like us as feminine because we still hold traditional ideas and it's nothing wrong with that.

    Few months ago, I did cry so much as I place my head on my sister's lap. It's embarrassing and it's her first time seeing me cry but she was so caring and nurturing me even though she's 17! She really reminds me of my mother.

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What Girls Said 20

  • Honestly most men and women don't want to be regarded as the gender they aren't. Also I find that men enjoy "masculine" traits more so in women than women do in men, so they take it as an unattractive quality. I personally wouldn't want to look at my man and the first thing that comes to my mind is "girly" but I'm not expecting hypermasculinity either.

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  • Because femininity is often connoted to weakness, vulnerability, daintiness, etc. For some reason that usually includes showing any emotion besides happiness or anger? That kind of demanded masculinity is toxic.

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  • Toxic masculinity and standards that they feel have to be upheld. It's like when a guy says "no homo," as if it'll protect him from the terrifying attraction to men. Girls give other girls compliments without wanting to get into their pants, so why can't guys do the same with guys? Femininity isn't scary.

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  • Because feminine men come off as gay. If my boyfriend started to become feminine I would not be happy about it, I'm the woman in the relationship not him

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    • You would still be the woman. Men who aren't hyper masculine are still men.

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    • O ok.. well then I see what you're saying. That wouldn't bother me much, my grandfather use to garden his own food cause he had a farm. Musical theatre is okay even if it's not something I'm super into.

    • Yeah we were kinda on different wavelengths. That all makes sense.

  • Because a lot of guys think "feminine/girly" is the same as "weak." And they don't want to be thought of as weak.

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  • I think most guys see it as a threat to their masculinity.

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    • Which is weird, right? Like they're not mutually exclusive.

    • I agree, I don't really get it either.

    • Why on earth should we promote every woman to look and act like a Dyke to show she is a strong woman and every man should act like a flaming bottom, hairdresser type that is on every girl friend list. You can't really say this is what women want in their men as being sexually desirable, because it is not true.
      Unless You are looking for a testosterone deficient partner to fianance and raise your children with with little chances of him being disaffected. So ultimately, women desire two men, One Alpha male for reproduction, and one beta male cuck to help fianance and raise your children.

  • Says a lot about how women are viewed, no?

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    • Right? It's pretty unsettling.

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    • No. Looked it up, and it seems worth a watch.

    • I think it should be required viewing for everyone.

  • American society is very picky about how men should be and act. Everyone's different and that's okay.

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  • They're insecure

    My boyfriend likes being feminine

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  • That's what I wonder. I try to convince men to go get a pedicure because nothing feels better than warm wax on your feet and peach scrub.

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  • The same reason women are terrified of being too manly >>> men tend to find women with masculine characteristics less attractive.

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  • Exactly. I don't see why it's wrong for man to do what's natural for him. Even if it means being feminine.

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  • Personally I wouldn't want to think girly when I look at my boyfriend or a potential boyfriend. But nothing wrong with feminine men.

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  • many men I know wear pink and are skinny so technically they are girly I mention it to them but they just don't care so I don't think you can generalize

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  • men want to be a men en strong.
    and if they show their femine side people think he's weaker or gay.

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  • sexism

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  • not all men are terrorified ;)

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  • Because women do not get respect.

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  • Well... I find it find it insulting to be called a "man". So, it's not an "unnatural" thing to feel insulted being called a woman when you're a man.

    Also, I agree with you. If you're a man, and you decide to get a pedicure, you are performing a masculine act... because you're a man. If you are a woman getting a pedicure, you are performing a feminine act... because you're a woman. Just because I do something that is prominently done by the opposite gender, it doesn't make it a masculine act.

    Just like how putting on "masculine" clothes doesn't make me a man and a man wearing "feminine" clothes and makeup doesn't make a man a female.

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  • It's mainly because women aren't attracted to feminine men.

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    • I'm not sure about that. I mean men have better things to do most of the time than trying to be attractive to women.

What Guys Said 21

  • It's biological. I'm not terrified, but I understand why some men might be uneasy being or showcasing feminine traits. Men are masculine, women are feminine.

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    • But masculine and feminine barely even mean anything. It makes no sense for guys to be uneasy having certain qualities or liking certain things just because it's "girly."

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    • What I mean is that labeling interests or behavior as masculine or feminine, and saying it's only for men or only for women is nonsense. A woman who likes fixing trucks is just as much a woman as a trophy wife, and a man who likes musicals and wears pink is just as much a man as Chuck Norris.

    • I wouldn't necessarily agree with that, but I understand what you're saying.

  • Probably if you as a girl woke up after a night of drinking and you had the body of Arnold Schwarzeneger in his Olympic Body building form, when you had the body of Nicole Scherzinger the previous night and now you will forever and never be able to attract a cist male, you would probably feel the same as an emasculated feminzed man, wouln't you.
    No woman finds a Beta male sexually irresistable. He is just there for fiancial security to raise your children with peacefully with no excess testosterone, causing him to be disaffected with you.

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    • I may regret asking this, but what is a Beta male?

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    • That sounds like you don't realize different women are attracted to different things. Also sounds like nonsense toxic masculinity.

    • They should put those type of men you say you like, dancing at Ladies Night as male strippers.
      In reality, they would starve from the lack of tips and you know it.
      Beta males are the preferred prey for funding and raising children as the betas males are more obedient, worker bees and quite disposable because there is an abundance of them starving for affection.

  • due to the society, it tells you to be as masculine as possible. Feminine traits are a sign of weakness for a guy. For example liking pink color lol!

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  • I personally like to put on tight booty shorts and squeeze my own ass. I like girls I don't like men, yeah I play with my prostate, and if my girlfriend wants to give me a butt massage then fine. I know what I like and don't like and I'm confident about my sexuality. Stop caring what people think.

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  • A lot of women wouldn't being like being called manly, either.

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    • They're not as prickly about it though. Guys have that whole no homo thing because they don't want to look effeminate.

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    • No one's going to say that as a compliment. What I'm saying is that women who have masculine interests or behaviour aren't usually shamed by other women but men who have feminine interests or behaviour are often shamed by men.

      And tell that to everyone who says boys don't cry. I agree, there shouldn't be an equivalency there, but a lot of people equate the two.

    • Part of that is a throw back to our evolutionary tribal roots.

      Men were the hunters and warriors, and one that is feminine would be thought of as a liability to the warband.

      While a female that was masculine would either be as asset to the warband, or would be helpful defending the home group while the warband was out.

  • I think guys who feel fragile about their masculinity get offended by that but guys who are more secure don't give a shit.

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  • Why would a man want to be girly? It's a total failure on the guys part to be a man. Girls are supposed to be girly and men are supposed to be manly. Did you go to primary school? Or any school.

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    • I did go to school. I also know that people are allowed to be whatever person they want. Did your mother never teach you how to respect people different from you?

    • You forget about what my mother taught me. You think you can be whatever you want in this world. You can't. They've created a fools paradise where they blindfold your eyes and plug your ears and say there there. The bogeyman isn't under your bed hair sleep tight. It's as fragile as the skin that makes up a soap bubble pal. I was lucky enough to see it for what it was at a young age, a dog eat dog world where the ones with the biggest and sharpest teeth survived. Weakness encourages attack, strength discourages it. We're all ruthless hyenas so if you want to walk around acting like a fairy then be my guest. Other men will chew you up n spit you out. Women want real men that can protect them so there's no benefit there either. You want things to happen for you in this world them respect is the master key to all the doors but only proper men get the respect needed to open the doors. So be a big girl if you want. It'll be a disappointing and lonely life

  • I don't like being called lots of things - why blanket statement all men. Obviously you don't mind being girly so it can't be ALL men

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    • Because it's a general trend among men. Obviously not every single man acts like this, and I don't need to specify that. This question pertains to that demographic of men because of course it does. Honestly, people get so offended these days.

  • Femininity is not worthy of respect

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    • That's a pretty messed up thing to say.

  • Well when a mans called it, its most of the time aimed as if its an insult. further than that I have no idea. I have long hair and people say i have lady hair haha. I dont care about it.

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  • I'm fine with being feminine

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  • interesting question and responses

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  • lol cause they are male not female. Why acting like something ur not

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  • Some femininity could be a good thing. Just be yourself whether it is feminine or masculine.

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  • Because guys aren't women?

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  • No its not like that not all man i like the idea of ballerina i mean they move so beautifully. I mean woman is the most blessed creation of the god. They are like an art. I feel good and safe around woman. They make me feel happy.

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  • Because manhood is sacred.

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  • Men aren't supposed to be feminine

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  • that's like calling a girl manly.. she's not gonna take that as a compliment.

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  • because its bad to show feeling or emotion for a guy

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  • that's because other men call them fagotts and cucks

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