men often aren’t encouraged to talk about their feelings. In fact, they’re sometimes discouraged from doing so. Additionally, men often tend to shy away from vulnerable conversations. It’s a little social, but it’s also a little biological, in my opinion. On one hand, men are less socially supported when it comes to talking about their feelings. Little boys are given less metaphorical space to explore and share their feelings (i. e., less time to cry, less tolerance of ‘pansy’ feelings, more picked on for being sensitive), and so they grow up not learning *the skill* (it is a skill) for discussing and navigating their feelings. On the other hand, and probably somewhat a byproduct of social norms, men generally get more physiologically overwhelmed when discussing hard things. Hard things can be raw and vulnerable conversations, like sex and love, or hard things can be feeling discouraged and defeated. That physiological overwhelm can be stopped if the person ignores the topic, and so they’re less inclined to dive into the world of feelings. I can’t emphasize enough that these are broad brush strokes. Of course, there are men who don’t fit this bill. Men also get into the habit of “brushing it,” instead of facing difficult feelings. Most women would say: “Men are more solution-focused. That is basic psychology, but it’s still important to point out. Men tend to be more solution-focused. In general, for females, discussing a problem (without jumping to a solution) is relieving and makes the problem more manageable. Men tend to be the type who hear about a problem and jump in with an answer to fix it. This isn’t inherently wrong, but when it comes to feelings, there aren’t really answers, per se; there are just feelings to experience and articulate. So, when faced with a feeling and no immediate solution, men try to compartmentalize it or brush it under the rug (i. e., ignore it).” men have to successfully complete a few steps before they can have a productive conversation about their feelings, as explained by Vossenkemper. “First, they have to acknowledge that it’s a problem or that they’re struggling. This is hard enough in and of itself. Second, they have to admit out loud that it’s a problem, which is even harder than admitting it to oneself. Third they have to combat the shame that comes with not being man enough to handle it on their own. Fourth, they have to learn a new way of thinking, feelings, and dealing with something, and in a way that they haven’t had to previously. All of these things are difficult, and in combination with a general societal judgment for men who admit weakness, it’s a recipe for ignoring and hoping the problem goes away.”
Keeping difficult emotions in can be detrimental to your health. Doing so can lead to or exacerbate stress, cause headaches, and even trigger your sympathetic nervous system’s fight or flight response. Do your best to accept whatever you are feeling, release those feelings, and move forward. If you think about it, Tomboys is very common. In a US study from 2012, while nearly half of girls reported being traditional girls, the rest almost equally identified as either “in-betweens” or tomboys. You really got to know where to find Tomgirls, I want to say the gay bars, but I highly doubt some Tomgirls would actually hang around there. It seemed Tomboys and Bruh Girl are the most popular type of girls out there. A bruh girl is the type of girl who doesn't care about appearances, eats plenty, swears, burps, drinks, and is essentially 'one of the guys'. She's the one who says 'bruh' to her parents and enjoys stereotypically male pursuits, finding softness and femininity pretty cringe. Somewhat similar to tomboys. There aren't really much information about Tomgirls, unless you really know where to look for them.
I feel it's because it's instinctual from probably the caveman time. This idea has been passed down for generations and may have been a good thing back when the men had to fight of intruders, be known as the rock of the family, do most, if not all of the strong work needed and just couldn't show any sign of weakness for fear the rest of the family would be overcome by fear as well. Men had to show strength to keep his family strong, even when he was scrarted as shit, I believe. It was a survival thing, I feel.
I think this is changing, due to modern times and it's a good thing. I am not afraid and have been told to accept my feminine side, since age of 5 during Zen/Buddhist/American Indian studies. I express my feelings all the time and friggin cry in so many movies. My daughter literally laughs at me and knows usually about when I will in certain movies. The movie Inside Out, makes me cry every single time; but it's about a little girls mind and her thoughts at an early age and just reminds me of her very much.
I have more women as friends than men because of this and we have long in-depth conversations and many women come to me to discuus their men in their life and all aspects of their own thoughts.
It's truly wonderful to share these thoughts and and be there for my friends; many men can't do this without wanting to sleep with them. So, a lot of men actually have no female friends because that can't control their wants and those thoughts. It's sad, because women have plenty of insight and plenty to say. Half the world, people. We men should be listening to women way more and not just the ones we happen to be having sex with or want to.
Having said that, I have also found that even though women always want this "expressing of his feelings" or "his feminity", from men, it's a bit of a risk, because many women become sexually unattracted to this. Not all, but way more than I wish was true. My ex-wife even went this route.
Women still, even in the 21st century, are stuck on the caveman dominance mentality, I fear. Some who demand this, even fall to this and it takes a very aware, mentally mature woman to overcome this instictual feeling. My opinion.
Because of other men and other women. Any similar problem, to this, that exist is due to the people you walk by and see everyday. Some a literally in the comments below @StormMistress
Simply not everyone thinks the same, and one group will punish the other for not conforming. I honestly wondering all the time if 100 years from now guy will have their own make up for guys. I mean make up itself, crying itself, all these things we call for girls... Aren't really feminine at all. Guys use make up in show business. They just don't do it like women. Crying is natural. It isn't feminine.
The problem is here only. They will be criticized heavily for it. They will rather hide it than getting depressed due to it. Men are expected to be strong and tough and Femininity is considered soft and weak which will be unlikely for men. The fault isn't of men. If you will get heavily criticized and often misunderstood for something then why will you do it? This is what men think. The mindset of society is to be changed and it will happen only if we change ourselves because we are the society only.
Opinion
102Opinion
https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverthirty/comments/ax9cut/well_it_happened_i_cried_and_she_changed/
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3506718/Admit-no-woman-man-cries-attractive-today-s-men-weep-drop-hat-isn-t-sexy.html
It might not be true of ALL women, but a whole lot of women, even if they SAY they want their man to "express his emotions" or "share his feelings", will be sexually turned off by a man who cries in front of her. I've had at least half a dozen guy friends have this happen to them, including one couple who was together for 8 years, and after crying in front of his wife for the first time when his father died, she never looked at him the same again.
I've even had women admit that they've told boyfriends that they should feel comfortable crying in front of her, but when they did, she felt herself losing her attraction to them, and had to face the fact that her actual feelings and instincts didn't match the politically correct words she'd been saying all along.
So, even though some women really DO feel that men should be able to cry, men need to be aware that it's a significant risk, and there's a good chance that doing so will be the beginning of the end of that relationship.
I think those women need to grow the fuck up
@anon1903 luckily I am in a young enough generation where expressing sadness when it is expected (death of a loved one or close pet) isn't a deal breaker.
I had a female friend who I'm still friends with to this day call me after she was raped and I cried on the phone with her. It never occurred to me that it was wrong to cry, I was too overwhelmed with the evil that had happened to her because I grew up in a rich neighborhood where that stuff was just not as common you know?
@Juxtapose I grew up in a poor neighborhood where in any given week I'd have to defend myself , often against multiple people. I've taken moore beatings than the Tampa Bay buccaneers.
Showing a weak feminine side would have been fatal. Not to mention it's about the most unattractive thing a man can do, most women would never date a man like that.
@Slartybartfast well we are in large part reflections of our upbringings. I took martial arts for 11 years and know you can't hesitate or fight fair. I was taught to fight in the snow, rain, mud and so on because my dojo had a decent amount of land for us to train in. My dad was a marine and had cop friends that would train in the same dojo as well.
But all of that cannot match the brutality of a life in a poor neighborhood. I took a look at your profile, I would be surprised if you were not in SBH.
@Juxtapose the only fair fight is the one I win.
I was downtown after work on a Saturday. Three guys approached me alone at the bus stop (except for some homeless guy) I only saw one. . I was struck from behind in the back of the neck knockout Game style. I hit the biggest one with everything I had, jumping from a seated position I hit him full force breaking hus jar and sending teeth flying. (I still have a scar from where the doctor pulled a tooth out of my fist that had gone through his cheek. ) The other two best me pretty bad but he just walked off as I ripped the gold chain off his neck and whipped his eyes so he couldn't see very well.
A few weeks later I was locked out, it was holloween. I got jumped by two guys, they ripped the brace off my injured hand. I kicked one in the balls hard with my steel toed boots hurting my foot He just kinda crumpled and started throwing up.
The other guy picked up a sign and ran at me. I grabbed a chunk of curbing with rebar sticking out and said "put down the sign s d I'll put down the rock" he put the sign down, I put the rick down on his head. . The police showed up along with my fireman stepdad. They arrested the guy but I didn't press charges, his dad had died the day before and I felt sorry for him , he was just looking for a outlet I guess.
Sorry for the typos I cracked the screen on my phone.
I am not afraid of showing off my feminine side in general. However, it is amazing to see how other people react to it. I grew up with sisters so I feel like I have a good handle and acceptance of what are generally considered the more feminine aspects of my personality. Some people are cool with it, but some aren't. I think especially if you are a straight man, the way different women react to it makes you aware of it. Some women I've liked in the past responded well to it, while I have experienced other women I am have liked who almost didn't want to see it.
So maybe it's all still down to societal prejudices, even if they are subliminal more than publically expressed. I don't think the majority of people care about how masculine/feminine someone can be, but I do think when it comes to being attracted to the opposite sex it can be a big factor. Some women definitely want their man to be the 'strong man' type, whilst some guys would not want to be with a woman who is a tomboy or displays masculine characteristics.
Here we go again with the “why are guys afraid”. What are you afraid of? Being raped? Being murdered? Being forced to submit to the will of someone stronger?
I can’t speak for all guys but I can for myself. I’m afraid of many things. I was afraid back in high school as that old man held me and my family at gun point. But I didn’t cry and cower… I stood my ground made myself his focus of attention and talked us out of a bad situation. I dropped 800 lbs on my foot before, had nails through both feet, been hit by cars, been in truck accidents, I’ve been hurt by the shit both men and women say and do… and yes I cry. I cry when something is bitterly sweet or so sad it breaks me, I cry when I lose someone or something important that can never be gotten back, hell I even cry when I see unacceptable suffering of children and animals whom have no hope of changing their suitation…
I don’t cry because I’m hurt. When the enemies at the gates I’m the one my family looks at to be strong. I can’t count on the woman to carry me miles to a hospital. I can’t count on society to care about me. I can’t even count on the sanity I sacrifice myself for to support me in MY time of need. So I don’t cry. I stay strong so I can handle life. Masculinity makes me strong. Femininity is support. I can’t lead if I’m always supporting.
I agree with you. A lot of the opinions are bringing up “well women don’t find feminine men attractive”
why do we always need to base things off of attraction from the other sex? Do y’all ever dress the way you want for YOURSELF? Or do you solely base all your decisions on whether or not women will find you attractive?
There are plenty of women who think men with a feminine side are attractive. Look at Harry Styles, Machine Gun Kelly, and all these other guys in Hollywood who aren’t afraid to experiment with feminine clothes/make up. Women literally drool over these me
. Or even when you look at Instagram or TikTok, the guys with the most followers are the ones with painted nails, eyeliner, and dangly earrings on.
and as for talking about men expressing emotion, we need to end the belief that only women can cry and be sad. That’s why the suicide rate for men is so high because our mental health is not taken as seriously as womens. We are told to “man up” when we are feeling sadness when it’s a natural human emotion.
And I PROMISE y’all that women don’t like men who go “I don’t cry, I don’t get sad, I’m MANLY.” Ask any women and I promise she’ll see that as a red flag because it’s a sign that you’re so insecure with your masculinity/sexuality that you think something as simple as crying is “too feminine”
Because as much as people like to think racism, hatred, etc., will end one, day it won’t. Due to a number of factors, I think one being how were raised. I’m sure your parents raised me differ then your parents, not just culturally but in other ways. I have a son. I’d like him to be able to show sympathy as well as empathy to people, but just how much. If I raise my son to be too big of an emotional box of feelings every little thing is going to hurt him, so I don’t know where to draw that line as a father to what is too much or too little. I don’t want him crying about everything. Not only that a lot of women aren’t into men who are emotional wrecks, sometimes one person has to be stronger when things happen which is usually the male. As for women acting like tomboys, a lot of us men actually find that sexy, a number of us may like it as well. I like a girl who can throw on jeans, a shirt, ball cap w tennis shoes then run out the door. Hate is never going to cease, it’s bad enough in our country but now if you look at it globally. A lot of differences in cultures.
“Afraid of expressing femininity” assumes that most men want to express femininity when we don’t.
The reason we don’t respect it has to do with the way we evolved. It’s hard-wired.
For most of our history our ancestors lived in tribes, in a far more dangerous world, and men had to hunt and fight with other men in order for the tribe to survive. Over thousands of years this shaped who we are.
Masculine ideals come from this, they’re not completely random, and they’re hard-wired in most men.
We automatically view men who are strong, courageous, competent and honourable (honourable as in they care about their reputation among men) as being more masculine. We automatically view men who are weak, cowardly, incompetent and dishonourable (don’t care about being men) as less masculine.
In those times weak men could get you killed, they were a burden, and in fact they could put your whole tribe in danger. A weak, cowardly, incompetent, dishonourable man is more likely to act in a way to save his own ass. He won’t back you up, he might even betray you. You can’t trust a weak man.
We might not live in those times but we still have the programming. Those times will also come again.
A society needs strong men in order to survive. Feminised societies fail, which is why you’re never heard of a successful matriarchal society, and probably think that it’s a new idea that hasn’t ever been tried when it has. Those societies just got taken over by stronger patriarchal cultures because their men were weak.
That’s the problem with a society based on empathy and tolerating everything just to be nice to everybody. When it comes to thinking about long term success of a culture women are morons.
Lol no plenty of things you think are feminin used to be for men. Men get increasingly more insecure about being seen as gay which is pathetic and embarrassing.
The last sentence is overgeneralising somewhat, as most women, push come to shove, would prefer men be strong and masculine. It's only the postmodern feminist rhetoric that creates a false perception that all women suddenly want men to be feminine.
But totally agree with the rest. "weak men make bad times, vad times make strong men, strong men make good times, gpod times make weak men..."
@Frauensindobjekte
You have no idea what things I think are feminine because I didn’t mention them.
Okay, so well over 90% of the population is heterosexual. Which literally means you are attracted to opposite sex. So guys tend to think Heterosexuals women are are attracted to the opposite sex. So it is natural that men try to be as manly as possible in appearance and action because they think it appealing to women.
Given the over charged confusion with gender these days... no heterosexuals guy wants any women to think he might be confused about who or what he is, and definitely not over what he wants from a women.
Now there is nothing wrong with a sensitive guy, but nobody likes a drama queen.
Exactly
@StormMistress The reason for this runs deep into the social stigmas and stereotypes in western society about what constitutes masculinity. Masculinity is more complicated and complex than most realize. I happen to be one of those sensitive men you speak of. I am an empath, and have a very soft and gentle disposition. And yet, I am also very, very strong, very muscular and hard, sexually dominant and have a mostly alpha personality. I think there is feminine softness, and male softness. The two are not the same. So I reject the notion that sensitive males should be considered feminine, and that being feminine is somehow a negative.
I don't think crying is all that feminine or masculine. I never cried harder than when my father passed away.
But such things are hard to talk about in a forum where many folks don't even agree that there are such things as masculine or feminine traits. And where many males cannot define their masculinity without thinking about how much power or authority they have over women.
It was one of the craziest takes I ever posted.
What Are Masculine Traits?
Maybe cause you yourself have for some reason equated certain emotions and acts to different genders, like I don't even know what you mean honestly.
If a guy does it it's masculine and if a woman does it it's feminine, or you could just stop trying to gender acts.
A girl isn't manly cause she wears jeans and flannels, and I guy isn't girls cause he gets a manicure, pedicure, and moisturizes his skin.
A girl ain't manly for holding in emotions and guy isn't girly for saying he has hurt feelings, either you are good at communicating or you're toxic, it's not a gender thing.
"Why are guys afraid of expressing femininity?"
You're asking the wrong question here ^ because the way you've phrased it you seem to be putting the blame on men who want to express their femininity but are afraid to.
The question you should be asking is why society (INCLUDING women) make those men feel bad or undesirable. And the FACT is the majority of women do find effeminate men undesirable and/or are put off by guys who behave in typically female ways. So, you tell us why men should feel bad about that.
You are correct that women who show their masculine side aren't ridiculed nearly as much. And that is because society (INCLUDING men) accept them that way.
We men are doing our part. Why are you women not returning the favor?
Because most men aren't very feminine? You can give me "permission" to cry all you want i just dont ever want to. I find girls weird that they cry so often but then i remember they are women and thats normal. For some reason you girls have a stick up your ass about men, its not normal for us to cry like you do.
Also women are the harshest judges, its not men who are going to make the biggest deal about a man crying, its women. Men who cry generally do not get laid. Men who dont cry do. Thats women enforcing this not men.
Yep. Why is it women are so hell bent on creating something they don’t really want?
My theory is they envy our ability to be more stoic and are even intimidated by it. But they also are attracted to they because it’s a sign of strength. They want to date a man who is more emotionally stable than themselves.
When they see a man acting sensitive and emotional they feel more relieved. The guy is more like another woman to them. But unfortunately not a real man.
There are unique circumstances where it’s okay (and good) for a man to cry. But they are far and few between.
@globetrotter22 It was in the news a few years back how a guy's fiance kept begging him to put on a dress but he refused. Finally he gave in and put one on. She says that the second she saw him wearing a dress she was completely turned off & she backed out of the marriage. Usually doing what women beg you to do is a bad idea.
"showing emotion" and "expressing femininity" aren't really the same thing. That said, I don't think men are "afraid" of acting feminine. We just don't WANT to act feminine. What you ascribe to "fear", I'd ascribe to mere disinterest. It's like saying "why are bengal tigers afraid of turning vegan?"
Exactly
More guys are doing this. But let’s get down to brass tacks here. How attractive is a straight guy to women if he acts feminine? He will be looked at as a friend. As another woman. Not as a real man. Straight men absolutely don’t want to viewed that way.
An attractive yet tomboyish girl will still always find guys willing to date her. Men don’t immediately question her sexuality. Her masculine side might can sometimes threaten the guy in the relationship but not always. Also tomboy girls tend to be more direct in communication which is breath of fresh air.
It is also true that men will pressure and bully other men who act feminine. But that’s not real subconscious reason men act more stoic. It’s really about Freudian dynamics. I just wish more women can own up to this.
I feel like there are A LOT of men who are feminine but still seen as attractive by a lot of women.
Harry Styles for example, women go crazy for him and he literally wears make up and dresses.
Or Machine Gun Kelly paints his nails and wears make up too, and now he’s getting married to Megan Fox
@JustinTheGreat these are celebrities you are talking about. Of course those guys can pull that off because they are famous.
But what about average guys? Women don’t really like that and you know it.
Some of us just genuinely aren't wired to be so good at it. Women aren't always so good at the masculine either, by the way. My wife is great at nurturing but she starts doubting herself in conflict situations. I'm far better at resolving conflicts and disputes but I panic and doubt myself like she does if I'm dealing with someone who is an emotional mess. I genuinely don't have that nurturing side as much as she does but she genuinely doesn't have that protector side as I do.
I have tried to improve on the feminine front but I think the feminine front requires more confidence in our intuitions than I can ever place. I actually distrust my intuitions.
For example, if someone is all upset and says they're ugly, it doesn't occur to me to tell them that they're so beautiful. It occurs to my wife. It occurs to lots of women. But I think that's kind of bullshit if I don't think they're actually beautiful, and I'm not sure if that even helps them. I want to be more like a doctor who actually fixes the real issue, and not just offers comfort for the symptoms. Feminine types seem eager to offer comfort but I'm too analytical for that.
Oh damn that wouldn’t have gone down well lol. Even if you’re being rational you have to be supportive to others regardless of whether you think it’s true or not. And besides beauty isn’t skin deep. They could be beautiful in many other ways so it doesn’t hurt to boost their confidence up again.
As for crying and things like that, I don't cry much but it's not because I'm holding back tears. I just don't get upset that easily. I start getting upset and I try to think of positive things I can do to fix the situation. I don't like to dwell on my problems. It brings out the worst in me, and I think women wanting us to be more feminine don't understand the kind of violent rage we can feel if we dwell on negative thoughts. I want to focus on positive thoughts. If a bridge burns down, I wanna rebuild it. Women want me to cry about it but they start encouraging me to stay upset and I might wanna burn down the entire civilization.
I'm decent at tact! I would never shame anyone, for example, on their insecurities. It's more like a "hmm, what's a good thing I should say here?" sort of thing. I don't know if I can explain it so well. I figure the average man is very different from the average woman, and I don't think it's all based on social conditioning. There is no masculine pride motivating my awkwardness when I deal with someone who is an emotional mess as I see it. I genuinely don't know what to do. The easiest thing I found to do as a guy is to give them a hug. I can give hugs easily: to guys and girls.
But especially on that topic of crying and dwelling in negativity, I think what you said about ceasing to judge men for crying is very good. We should strive not to be so judgmental in general. But I think it's really dangerous to encourage a guy like me to dwell on my negative emotions. I need to resist my negative thoughts and emotions, and I think many guys need to do it. It's more dangerous if a guy doesn't, because he's got the testosterone and aggression, and that doesn't tempt him towards a sort of pacifistic passivity when he's negative. It tempts him towards destruction, rage, violence. A feminine type (not necessarily a woman or man) who is upset might be overwhelmed by the world. They shut down. People who shut down aren't dangerous except possibly to themselves. A masculine type as I see it gets spurred into action by negative thinking patterns. He/she wants to destroy in response.
And I think it's perhaps with this understanding that we historically encouraged men more towards Stoicism. We fail to do that and we don't get tears. We get violence.
The fact that you labeled crying as expressing femininity is wrong. A man crying doesn't make him feminine, a man expressing his feelings doesn't make him feminine, a man being open and honest isn't feminine. It's called human emotions. The fact you've put a label on emotions as only being feminine further proves that YOU are the problem. Fix your mindset
Exactly. This sort of attitude from women only further assures that men will stuff down our emotions even more. A better message is "you can be physically and mentally strong, but also be emotionally vulnerable at times, and still be just as masculine".
@SomeGuyCalledTom right so if a man's mom dies and he cries he's considered feminine? Like wtf 🤣, crying is a basic human emotion and shouldn't have been labeled as a feminine quality. Men should be able to express emotion. Emotions is what we all have. What are men supposed to be robots?🤣
It’s not that they’re afraid. It’s just unnatural. Men are supposed to be masculine and women are supposed to be feminine in order to complete each other. Men still want to feel completed. Apparently women don’t. They’d rather be masculine and turn men feminine. It’s almost as if it’s some sick attempt to switch the roles because women think men are those horrible vicious monster Vikings that will rape and fight them.
I don't think men are afraid to show their feminine side. Especially not in our time.
But men are still men and the majority of them have characteristics that you can call "masculine". Surely it is due to the role of hormones.
That being said, I have nothing against feminine men, everyone has their differences and it is important to respect everyone.
However, don't expect that to represent a majority of men.
A soft man get bullied and abused. He is painting a sign of sucker on himself and all the snakes will target him. The best way to have peace as a man is to be a guy no one messes with. So no being feminine is not a good path for anything. You won't get respect from either men or women.
You could wear a crop top and still kill someone. You really don't understand this.
What do you consider feminine? Do you want guys to watch romantic shows and cry while eating ice cream or popcorn? It’s kind of silly. I don’t express feminine things because I don’t do feminine stuff. Do you want guys to act more metrosexual or gay? I don’t understand what you are asking?
If a girl act in masculine manner it gives her some advantages, if a guy act in a feminine manner it don't give him much of a advantage, masculinity tend to be seen as superior.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RealWomenDontWearDresses
Hhhhh... I wouldn't say I'm feminine, but I have no problem expressing my feelings. When my girlfriend cheated and left me for someone else, I cried and cried for 2 months. I shared with my close friends to get support. Does that qualify as "feminine"?
Other guys might not do that because of peeps with toxic masculinity. I remember crying and my dad yelling "men don't cry". Mom said the same.
My friends are progressive and I've seen them accept this stuff and even cry in front of me but the majority of dudes are toxic in terms of masculinity.
I actually have tried out few considered feminine items, brown eye liner, hairband when i had longer hair and they work wonders for attracting women.
Cus u can still go for rockstar look and get away with crazy makeup even black nail polish, but its not something avarage guy gonna do and it won't fit avarage guys style look. Soo thats why they dont do it. Its just makes no sense to do it.
Those type of men gets constantly made fun of. I clean, cook, and know sewing and knitting. Use to make flower and leaf crowns are tiaras. I do have a real career too. Plus I do recitations and write poetry and am very good at them.
Men and women made fun of me doing those stuff, cooking in an apron. Even though I did all the cooking. Women in real-life men who do those as only friendly. No women want to date those guys and go out with guys that do nothing but just roam around with cars and bikes all day, partying. I started to hate myself and decided to hide those from future potential relationships.
You said it yourself. Women who express more masculine features in a tomboy style or attitude are not ridiculed anywhere near as much as men expressing femininity. If girls beat up other girls for wearing overalls you probably wouldn't see it as much either.
Men should be allowed to do that. But men are taught how to express their gender very differently from how women are taught to express their gender.
Why are girls afraid of expressing masculinity?
Why do y'all must grow up with Barbie and wear pink?
How comes no girls are masculine,
Because y'all don't want to be, it's in your nature to be feminine and want to be feminine... Same with us duh... We don't express femininity because we're not femine.. and don't want to be... Duhhh
Why don't girls play with actions man instead of Barbie?
Play with actions man instead! And wear army camouflage!!!
You see my point? Stop trying to make men act gay/ feminine.. we don't fkn want to
Damn you sound a little triggered lol. Why is your sense of masculinity so fragile?
dunno what u mean by that, its not frajile, im jus mad because its degrading seeing woman say men have a girly feminine side, when thats jus not true, thats an insult and mocking us, we have balls for a reason, maybe some guys are femine but most guys dont have a feminine side because were not females, females have feminine side, males have masculine side
@StormMistress Too be honest you sound even more triggered ngl
guys in my grade always paint there nails a new color everyday it seems like. I don’t think it’s considered “feminine” anymore.
But with other things, I am not sure. I know a kid who wears skirts to school some days as well.
Wow really, I doubt they are straight
@May_Summers the one who wears skirts isn’t straight, he’s pansexual, but the rest are all straight asf
My gay friend wears feminine clothes like crop top and has nail paint but straight friends don't
@May_Summers no trust me these boys are the straightest things you’ll ever meet I kid u not
Haha cool
Can't message, you unfollowed?
@Old_Golden oh I did?
I really don't have a "feminine side" but i do feel emotions. It's OK to have them.
One movie, "The Natural" with Robert Redford, a baseball movie evokes tears. He's over 40, injured and becomes a legendary player.
I teared up when my 19 year old cat died in my arms.
I’m not what you would consider “manly”. I don’t like fixing things around the house or working on cars and talking about expensive grills that I’m going to buy. However, I clean my apartment weekly. I care about how I present myself on the inside and outside and I pay my bills on time. I agree who cares if you’re manly or an alpha male you can still accomplish your goals all the same.
First of all, guys don't have a feminine side. And guys don't cry. Well, unless their dad dies. You're projecting again.
If a guy is feminine there's something wrong with him, or he never had a dad.
Women absolutely loathe girlie-men. You'll see.
Why don't you STFU and mind your own business and quit telling guys how and what they should be.
@Frauensindobjekte what he's saying is true and complete correct, why is the facts that he's speaking offending you?
Are you gay or girlie? That's fine to be offended as an individual, but as males on the whole, what he's saying is not wrong, so he's not an idiot, he's switch on and living in reality
@Idiotikhumanz what he says is factually wrong. Theirs a thing called science you don't believe in it i know.
The guy has huge psychological issues and needs treatment.
You too by the way.
@Frauensindobjekte - oops... another girlie-man. LOL
Why do you assume its fear? I'm simply not feminine. Sure I have a few minor feminine strokes as all do and vice versa for women with masculinity. But small variances do not deny the big picture, at the end of the day I'm a man and I don't believe in gender fluidity at all.
You mean why are men afraid to show their vulnerable side?
1. A number of women use it against them.
2. They know how some valued people will react
3. It's not always helpful
4. It's uncomfortable if or when someone encourages it
5. They never understood that It's ok to cry or hug someone.
6. There's a time and place for it
I dunno, I guess society has pressured them to act masculine all the time. I love guys who have a softer side personally. :)
Men don't have the luxury of ignoring things that they can't achieve , so they are had to have the tough kindest to make things happen.
If everyone cries that they won't be Ble to do it then who will do it?
Sometimes it's just natural order to let be things as they are there isn't a solution
Have you ever watched King of Queens? There's an episode where Carrie wants Doug to be more emotional, so when he does, she's immediately turned off. They do it in a comedic way, but I think that IS how a lot of women would feel. I have no doubt about that. Even in real life, I don't know how many times I've heard women say (and this isn't even crying), "suck it up" or "be a man" (they love to say this).
Cos straight guys don't have femininity, if your talking about gay guys.. I don't know if they are afraid, jus look at James Charles... They're very flamboyant and express of their girlie side... But straight guys jus don't have a feminine side to express
Within different communities there are different gender standards. Maybe you’re in an area where men are expected to act less feminine and more masculine. That can sometimes lead to a fear of expressing any emotions or characteristics that come across as feminine. It happens.
I don't know. I actually find it attractive when a guy expresses his feminine side.
I’m not afraid, for example to paint my nails even though I’m straight, but my parents don’t condone it so it ends there I’d really say it comes from parent not accepting us teenagers trying to find ourselves from my perspective as a young teenager
When you face an obstacle or difficulties you can do one of two things. Work to solve things or cry.
When men cry they sort of... Break and become practically useless for a while. It's VERY unproductive and so we work hard to keep those emotions at bay even denying they exist in some cases.
The environment consciously and unconsciously expects a man to behave like a man and this means expressing less emotions and a woman being more emotional. And it's not just in this matter. There are differences between men and women. There are things that are more suitable for a man and there are things that are more suitable for a woman. But I agree with you that there should be less judgment.
There are a lot of women who do not want a feminine man. I personally will not go with a man knowing he is feminine, because I like masculine men and I believe men should be masculine ESPECIALLY straight men.
I dont see crying as a feminine thing thats what everybody does if thats what you are implying as feminine.
Anyone can cry. That doesn't make you feminine/masculine. But if he's wearing makeup or nailpolish or crossdressing, thats just weird. Not all of us girls wear it. I hate the look and smell of makeup and polish
Women can say they're all cool with it but they're just not, simple as that.
Men being cool with women being masculine has no bearing on women being cool with men being feminine. The reality is that if a guy comes across as *too* vulnerable or weak then he'll get dumped. With women, there's no clear line as to where that threshold is. It's different for each woman, and it moves day to day and also moves with her mood. The only course of action is to try to stay far away from the line.
Is crying and showing emotion is ment for women
No I didn't think so
All human will cry and have emotions
But the way they express it might be different
But it's our mith crying and showing emotion is feminity not at all
See showing love emotions is feminity means all of us are females
It the man wish to be soft it's OK with him who ever see it wrong it's there fault
Old fashioned traditional values from the 40s 50s and 60s maybe even the 30s and roaring twenties. Post gangland mentality and the second World war brought out a module mentality for men to have to live up to.
I don't consider showing emotions and talking about my feelings "feminine". Those are normal human things to do. Being feminine to me are things only women do or majority of women do. Like the way she walks, touches her long hair, her voice, her giggly laugh, showing cleavage, etc.
Because there's no out. God made u this way and that's what you're gonna be for the rest of your life. 🙄
Wow, I hate to say this, I hope I'm wrong.
You're ether the first women who has a clue or a man with a fake account.
I'd let you decide which one it is :)
Plus homophobia seems more common in men since they assume gays are weak and transgender, when neither is true. You can be GAY and MASCULINE, you can be STRAIGHT and FEMININE! lmao.
Because of toxic masculinity honestly. It pushes the agenda that anything that isn't ultra masculine is feminine and that femininity is weakness and undesirable.
@Neko_Nya toxic masculinity pushes the agenda that anything that isn't ultra masculine is feminine and that femininity is weakness and undesirable. Society as a whole is effected by it.
Because "toxic masculinity" is simply Men. Following the rigid rules society has for us. And since men aren't the ones who make the social rules (dating is a great example ) it's unlikely women will decide men are free to be human anytime soon I don't see this changing.
We are on the fourth wave of feminism, we haven't even started the discussion about the rolls men are forced to take.
Someone has to be disposable, we need a class of people we can conscript and send off to die , people who are conditioned to accept that roll.
I'm often hundreds of feet in the air working on live voltages that can kill with a touch. There are two positions open and I'd bet a years salary no women will apply.
I grew up with a single mom and two sisters, I've heard all my life a thousand different ways how men are evil. I don't think I've heard a single time that we had any value other than when we can do for women.
@Slartybartfast It is not simply men... it's women too.
@Neko_Nya Israel
All info from Wikipedia
"Israel is one of only a few countries in the world with a mandatory military service requirement for women. ... Women have taken part in Israel's military before and since the founding of the state in 1948, fulfilling various roles within the Ground, Naval and Air Forces.
Conscription exists in Israel for all Israeli citizens over the age of 18 who are Jewish (both genders), or Druze and Circassian (male only); Arab citizens of Israel are not conscripted. Arab citizens can enlist if they want to but are not required by law. Other exceptions are made on religious, physical, or psychological grounds. As of 2020, the normal length of compulsory service was two years and six months for men (with some roles requiring an additional four months of service), and two years for women (with some roles requiring an additional eight months of service)
In 2014, the IDF said that fewer than 4 percent of women are in combat positions such as light infantry, helicopter or fighter pilots, etc. Rather, they are concentrated in "combat-support"
One of only a few
Service times aren't the same
And fewer than 4% of women are in combat positions.
Wouldn't really call that equal...
@Neko_Nya because laws, written by primarily men prohibit women from being in combat. For a long time women weren't even allowed to join even if they wanted to. In the Civil War women literally disguised them selves to help fight. Not that long ago women weren't even allowed to vote or have a line of credit. So no.. it's not fair, we have come a long way in gender equability but we still have a long way to go.
@Neko_Nya Actually it was the conservative party that blocked a bill last year that would mandate women to register for selective service just like men. You wanna complain about inequality... blame the conservative party for blocking that bill.
@Neko_Nya Last I checked conservatives aren't really feminists. Liberals are, and liberals are the ones who voted to pass the bill.
@Neko_Nya men make up the grand majority of rapists, it's a generalized statement. Of course not all men are rapists, but there are a lot who are.. too many. The big question here is why doesn't that concern you, and why aren't men in general more concerned that a small minority are doing so much damage and giving men as a whole the reputation of being predators?
According to a 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 90 percent of perpetrators of sexual violence against women are men. Moreover, when men are victims of sexual assault (an estimated one in 71 men, and one in six boys), 93 percent reported their abuser was a man.
So it's okay for feminists to call all men rapists when it's a very tiny amount of people doing it, seems legit. The only people giving men as a whole the reputation of being predators are these anti male feminists, no one else likes rapists or thinks rape is okay so calling all men rapists because of a select few is fucking retarded and not helping anyone
@Neko_Nya well obviously them men who aren’t rapists don’t apply in that situation. Men are called aggressive but not all men are. Women are called emotional all the time, not all women are. Babies are called loud, not all babies are. Pit bulls are called aggressive even though not all of them are. Categories and generalizations are a part of life. If people want stereo types and generalizations to change than behavior needs to change.
oh come on. toxic masculinity? that's what your argument is? or maybe its because most women want a man who is a man. who is strong in his body and his mind, who can fix stuff, get dirty, be rugged, push himself to be better and not pussy out when shit gets hard. who's not afraid to challenge himself, be confident in the fact that he is a man and embrace all that makes him masculin. if that is now considered to be toxic then consider me guilty.
@whosnumber1 you can be masculine with out being toxic…
until I choose not to express myself in a feminine way. then it's the fault of toxic masculinity
@whosnumber1 lol that's not what it that means.
Even if the guy is interested/curious about more feminine things?
Course! Let him explore things. You are you. Do what makes you happy.
He might be bisexual. That would only make him more attractive in my eyes.
I think the question should be why men is afraid to be vulnerable? Once they get comfortable with the one they love, they will.
Because that's not how one climbs the dominance hierarchy. If it were, then it would be highly sought after.
Well I am bisexual so people expect me to be a little fruity once in awhile. As you can see by my current profile picture though, I don't present myself as feminine and really I just cry when something unusual happens that warrants it.
You're confused.
There is a big difference between being "feminine" and "emotionally in tune".
she's really saying..."femininity is superior. I hate men. I wish they were better people. In my mind, if they were feminine they would be better."
If you want a girl friend, tell her how you feel. Tell her about your hopes , dreams and insecurities..
If you want a girlfriend, don't.
I think it is either taught from young, or a peer pressure thing.
You would be chastised for doing so.
Mighty men have never been afraid of anything!
Expressing femininity often equals showing weakness, for example, crying.
If I were to cry, others could become sad as well (empathy) I don't want the people close to me to be sad, so I don't cry in their presence.
Crying is not feminine. It's a basic human emotion. It's like saying if a man's mom dies and he's crying he's acting feminine. That's just nuts. Men aren't robots
'Like it’s ok if a guy cries.'
Yes it is, but it's also less likely to happen due to testosterone and the size of his tear ducts due to being a man.
They aren't. They just don't want to. Why do girls just assume a guy is afraid of whatever he's not doing?
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