Should I stop talking to this shy guy? He never initiates conversation?

[Anonymous]

I've initiated conversation with him like 3 times and told him I like him through text but he still won't initiate a conversation with me. Should I give up on him? He gave me all the signs that he likes me too that's why I told him about my feelings.

Updates

+1 y

Actually ever since I told him about my feelings he seems to be extra nervous around me (he's always been nervous and shy around me) and it seems like he's almost hiding from me. Also, I've noticed that he's trying to make me jealous to get my attention? What's up with him? Why is he acting all weird?

Did he not take my confession seriously? Did he think it was a prank or something?

[Vyxzuw]

He might not know what to talk to you about.

There may also be a part of him that thinks that even if you like him, it'll never work out. For instance, if he thinks that your friends won't like him.

Does he have conversations when you initiate them? Or was it just more of a few words traded and that's it?

Do you have common interests? How long has this been going on? Does he talk with other people?

[Asker]

He seems extremely nervous whenever we talk so it's just a few words traded and there are a lot of awkward silences. He's been staring at me, finding excuses to hang around me etc. for like 6 months now.

The annoying part is is that he's very comfortable talking to other girls and people in general (in fact he's very talkative and loud and can't shut up) but I don't know why he gets so nervous, awkward and weird whenever he talks to me. He also acts mean and tries to act like a smartass and a cocky bad boy or something but he's not like that otherwise.

It's like he's incapable of having a normal conversation with me. It's really pissing me off.

[Asker]

Also, we barely know each other. We're just in different classes in the same college.

[Vyxzuw]

Well of course he's comfortable talking to other girls and people, he's not afraid they'll reject him.

I think that he may believe what you told him, but has no idea what to do about it.

It's kinda hard to do much, if he can't even really talk to you, though.
Yes, he can't have a normal conversation, because he feels like every word he says is being judged. So, he tries to put on an act.

What might help, is if you are having a get together with friends, to invite him (and other friends of his, if you know them.) Maybe being forced into a normal interaction might help.

If you have similar classes (same classes, but different times) then you could ask him to help you study. It at least gives him a subject to talk about.

Even trying to talk to his friends may help. Befriending his friends means more interactions.

Have you connected through social media? Or checked out his social media? It might give you some topics to talk about. Like talk about a movie he likes and stuff.

[Vyxzuw]

What do his friends think of you?
And your friends think of him?

[Asker]

Well I can't arrange a get-together, we hardly have any mutual friends. If he can't even talk to me then how can I ask him to hang out? It's like he's terrified of talking to me.

I know we have a lot of mutual interests because I checked out his social media. But that'll only help when he's willing to talk.

My friends think he's cute. I don't know what his friends think of me but they definitely think I'm very attractive because most of his friends have checked me out at some point.

Once, when I entered the same corridor as him and his friends, he kept staring at me and was talking to one of his best friends while doing it. His friends were also staring at me at the same time. A few minutes later all of them left quickly and left him all alone. I think they were teasing him before that.

My friends think he was telling them about me and then they were teasing him about it. What do you think? Also, I don't understand why he puts up an act in front of me?

[Asker]

I love how he is with other people and I want him to be like that with me. I'm getting really frustrated.

[Vyxzuw]

I'm guessing that he has either never had a girlfriend, or had one but she did all the work.

He has no idea what to do. Hence he tries to put on a cocky attitude thinking it will help.

Is he rather non-responsive in text also?
Have you tried talking to him about your mutual interests?

You don't have to have mutual friends to have a get together.
Arrange a party (like a Halloween party) and invite him and his friends.

His friends will drag him along.

[Asker]

Lol I'm definitely sure he's never had a girlfriend. In fact, I don't think he's ever really liked a girl in a serious way before me. He has no idea how to act around me. I don't know why he thinks this whole cocky and bad boy attitude will help.

He's responsive in texts but even then he'll try to make the conversation short. Also, he takes a while to respond. Like he reads the message and then it'll take a little while for him to reply, I think he overthinks while texting me too.

By the way do you think he's really shy or not? I mean like I said, he's not like this with other people. So it's confusing me.

[Vyxzuw]

He uses masks to help him talk to people, without letting them know the real him.

With you he WANTS you to know the real you, but is so used to using masks that he reverts to the cocky attitude.

He probably got bad advice from someone. He probably doesn't want to get 'friendzoned' so he's trying to be all 'cocky and cool', and ironically ruining his chances.

Basically, he may have read or watched some advice about how girls don't like nice guys, and that you need to 'neg' (use negative feedback) so they don't think that you are too interested... blah blah blah.

I think he forgot the part that you used that on girls that are full of themselves and used to compliments, and not on shy girls who prefer emotional connections.

[Asker]

Yeah I also think that someone gave him bad advice or he's read some wrong things about what girls like. He is, yes, ironically ruining his chances because of this cocky and cool attitude. I also think he's doing this to hide his interes which is very dumb. Doesn't he realize that if he doesn't show his interest then I'll just move on after a while?

I'm used to compliments and all that but I don't like this act that he puts on in front of me. I have no idea what to do. Will he never stop acting this way? What should I do now?

I've noticed lately that he's trying to make me jealous. What's up with that?

[Vyxzuw]

What do you mean, trying to make you jealous?

But, that fits in with the bad idea for how to attract a girl. Try to make her jealous.

You're shy, or I'd really just tell you to tell him that you like him when he's nice.
Maybe give him Avril Lavigne's Complicated song.

[Asker]

Well he's been acting all flirty on Instagram which is so out of character for him. He rarely talks to girls and NEVER posts pics with them but he's been doing that as of late and making sure that our mutual friend (who is my best friend) finds out about it. But he's not interested in those girls, I know that for sure and so does my friend.

I mean I've already told him I like him so what's the point in doing all this? I know he wants me to do all the work but I'm really shy as well and I can't keep on talking to him again and again. He probably thinks I'm bold and confident and I don't know what gave him that idea.

At this rate, I'll just have to move on because I feel like he's hiding his interest too much. So much in fact that I feel like he's not interested in me at all.

[Vyxzuw]

"He rarely talks to girls"
"he's very comfortable talking to other girls"

That's contradictory.
Are you sure that he's not a player wannabe?

At any rate, you have told him how you feel. It is up to him to follow through on that.
It'd be one thing if he was trying to, but not able to, for some reason. But he's just playing around instead.

Move on. Who knows, maybe that will cause him to make a move then.

[Asker]

Sorry Lol I'm not being contradictory. What I meant was that he has few females friends (who are mostly classmates) and he's very comfortable talking to them. That's why I said he's very comfortable talking to other girls. He doesn't have any female friends in his social circle, they're all guys. Like if he were to go hang out with friends, they would be guys not girls.

He's definitely not a player. My best friend (who is our mutual friend) was his classmate for a whole year. She told me about how sweet and kind he is and seems a bit shy. She also told me he's a great guy. When I first started liking him, I asked everything about him from her.

[Asker]

"It'd be one thing if he was trying to, but not able to, for some reason. But he's just playing around instead."

Yeah exactly. This is where I'm getting confused. I don't know if he's just playing games or is genuinely not able to make a move because of his shyness and lack of experience. I know he's a total wuss (my friends have said that as well) maybe that's stopping him but I honestly don't know what to think anymore.

[Asker]

What I meant was that usually he doesn't talk much with his female friends. He doesn't hang out with them or anything.

[Vyxzuw]

If your best friend is a mutual friend, then maybe she can let him know that his cokcy act isn't working out well, and maybe he should just talk to you.

[windknowsmyname]

Shy dont translate to extrovert. Right?
So for him to get out of his shell he has to be comfortable with you.
So stop worrying aboy starting it cause obviously its better when you do it.
And keep talking to him

God, you gotta love women am i right. 😂🤣

[Asker]

I'm just afraid I'll look like a stalker or a creep if I keep on talking to him again and again.

[windknowsmyname]

Well those fears cane from you, not him. So your putting things your head that didn't happen.

Yeah precaution, i get it, but i tent to like it when my friends text me first.

[Asker]

So he won't think I'm a creep or stalker?

[windknowsmyname]

No, not at all.

[Neyila]

what did he say when you confessed - did he tell you he likes you back?

[ats934]

You said he's shy, right? It takes a while for shy people to open up to others, especially when they like them. Just give him some more time and he'll open up eventually.

[Asker]

Yeah he gets very shy, quiet and nervous around me but is generally a talkative guy and is very comfortable talking to other girls and people in general.

[Asker]

I'm just not comfortable initiating conversation with him again and again because I'm shy too so it's really hard for me. I don't know what to do. 😑

[Jezeppe]

He probably didn't expect that response and doesn't want to fuck it up, so he does nothing but by doing that he'll end up fucking it up anyway... I've done it myself too many times.

[Asker]

Are you that's the case? How did it work out for you?

[jairaam]

he love you true... and he never leave you... he like you but he is nervous because he don't want say any word with which you hurt so he is don't say any word... after heard that you hurt and you leave him...

please stay with him for some times.. give him some times he will be with you... but don't talk with him... don't see him... he will come to you... ...

[pcaddict]

If this guy is one you want to persue, walk up behind him , gently leaning over his shouder, whisper in his ear. With hands on his arms to let him know that you have him, tell him if you dont ask me to dinner tonight, how will i know that you have me. Then slip your number in his hand pinch his ass cheeck and walk away. No man in his right mind would not call and ask for dinner after that...

[sineater8]

Here is what you do. You walk up to him, you put your hand on top of his head and you say...

"Im adopting you" put on a pair of sunglasses, "deal with it."

then drag his shy ass of to a movie or acade or something.

[SodaCheeks]

I'm in love with this reply xD

[ladsin]

I don't think so, I've been objectified by women and gay fellas, but I don't think anyone's ever been racist against me... Although I've certainly met a lot of racist fellows.

[ladsin]

Whoops, thought this was a different question XP
<My bad

[Asker]

Hahaha no problem 😛

[SplashMango]

He absolutely likes you, he is just shy and maybe doesn't know to start and pick the right line to express his feeling to you. If you want to make sure, ask his friends' who often hang out with him, maybe he often talks about you to them

[Ohlordhelpme]

If you have made your feelings known to him, ask one more time if you two can try and make something serious of it. Either way you get your answer

[Anonymous]

He adores you and doesn't want to fuck anything up..

[hippietri]

just kiss him, he'll open up, make the move if you're tired of waiting for him to do so

[Smegskull]

Maybe he has nothing to say.
He isn't talkative if you don't like that and you don't want to be the conversation starter why do you think you like him?

[Asker]

He is very talkative, that's the annoying part. He gets quiet and tongue tied only around me. It's like he just doesn't know what to say and seems very nervous.

I don't mind being the conversation starter. I've initiated conversation with him 3 times, so I want him to do it this time.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

Have a proper conversation about it face to face, make it known that you want things to happen, make it happen.

[Rocherd]

Buy a good book for him and you, just sit and chill.

[Matt-G]

He thinks your the sun!

[Asker]

Huh? What's that supposed to mean? 😅

[Matt-G]

I mean to him your incredible, wonderful! I bet your the centre of his world! Dont give up, guys like him are made in fairytales you just have to open him up xx I promise!

[Asker]

That sounds really sweet 😊 but I'm just not comfortable initiating conversation with him again and again. I really don't know what to do.

[Matt-G]

Sit n say nothing till he talks xx

[geegre]

Notice how he speaks with girls. If he is expressing shy to only you that means he doesn't like you

[Franitz]

Maybe you just made him even more shy

[khiking]

Maybe he doesn't like you... maybe

[Asker]

I would've thought that too but then why does he stare at me so much? Especially when I'm not looking. He also finds excuses to hang around me all the time.

[yoitsmebro]

Please just tell him you like him in real life

[Asker]

How will that help? It's not possible for us to meet each other right now. 😥

[MeatPuppet]

Please, don't give up on him.

[eagle1951]

are you sure he doesn't have someone else.

[Asker]

Yes lol I'm absolutely sure he doesn't have anyone else.

[eagle1951]

Well then he must be really shy

[Asker]

Yeah I guess. But what am I supposed to do now? I feel weird initiating conversation with him again and again.

[eagle1951]

well you could try not doing that for a while and see if he'll make the first move in a day or 2