What does he want with me?! I'm 19, he's 26 !!

[Anonymous]

OK, so I am 19 years old and going into my second year at the university. This year I had a tough time with calculus and so I went to look for help and I met this guy, he is 26 years old. The day we met there was lots of flirting. After that though, I didn't think I'd see him again and then I ran into him and ... I never do this but I went up to him and I gave him my number, I honestly didn't think he'd use it, but that same night he called me.

Since then he asked me to lunch, he invited me over to his house and made dinner for us (we had a flour fight), he is learning my first language which isn't English. He texts me and calls me, he'll do his best to meet me whenever I want to.

I usually do get along with older people, because my sisters are over 10 years older than me and I've always hung out with people older than me. However, I don't really know this guy too well, I don't know what he is like with his friends. But he has said he'll drive his friends anywhere no matter what time it is, and he loves helping people out.

I tried to bring up the conversation of maybe ex girlfriends by mentioning one story about an ex of mine, but he just went quiet and changed topic...

I'm not sure what he wants with me. Does he actually like me? Does he want something else with me? Does he just enjoy my company as a friend? What do you think?

What could this guy want with me.

Updates

+1 y

My birthday was last week. Yesterday he asked me to meet him because he got me a gift. He wrote a letter entirely in my native language! it was actually pretty well done!

Updates

+1 y

he also got me a toy schnauzer which I mentioned was my favorite dog, and he got me a dvd of "the tribute to Pavarotti" which he knows is my favorite kind of music. ... now I really think he likes me... lol, any other opinions?

[themastaplan]

he could want a bunch of different things...

sex, relationship, fwb, friendship

i'll rule out just sex...because if he wanted sex and only sex he wouldn't invite you over for lunch or make dinner or any of that kind of stuff, he'd probably just meet you out somewhere and then take you home...

relationship - looks like he's more so leaning towards that maybe - he doesn't want to bring up past relationships because, well, they are in the past...hes learning your main language another key factor as to why I believe he's looking for something more than friendship...hes thinking of the future, not planning, just brainstorming...

freinds with benefits...another possibility he's hanging out, you guys are obviously friends, I'm not sure if you've hooked up yet in any form...but this conclusion won't be able to be noticable until you've hooked up and then you or him say hey I want more or I don't want more

friendship - its ALWAYS a possibility,...i think at some point you should ask where this is going if you are interested in him, but not yet...it seems too soon to ask about this, you don't want to seem desperate...just take it slow

hopefully this helps - if you ask me he's thinking of making you his at some point, or at least attempting to

[TimeAndTimeAgain]

Every guy wants sex. It's just some have the decency to wait and aren't desperate to get it from you. That's what you should always try to find out before getting into a relationship. Unless you just want a guy to use you for sex.

Also, if it's the age you're worried about... don't worry. It's normal. Age is just a number. It's only awkward if age actually transcends mentalities. That's why an 18 year old who practically thinks mostly as an adult, wouldn't really seem normal with a 13 year old who is still just a kid. But you two are both grown-ups. You probably have similar mentalities, so you should get along just fine.

I do think he likes you BTW. And not just sex, from the way you put it. If he wanted just sex, chances are he would have asked you out already.

[toulouse]

My best R/ where sex was not part of the equation were with guys at least 8 years older. Younger guys are usually too impatient or still believe if you don't have sex you are not a man- or she is not worth your time. The age is not a big deal. she's 19 & guys are often not as mature emotionally anyways so its a goods fit more likely than not. Q/A I wouldn't worry about his motives. Just hang out as you seem enjoy each others company. Don't have sex you don't need to worry about him using You for sex :)

Then if you get to a point where you want to/ feel ready to, then well you'll be dealing with a guy. just like any other guy. he'll either be col or a jerk , & the only # that matters is how long you've been together not how old he is-- except he might have more experience in bed.

I wouldn't worry especially since you have already been alone with him. & as someone pointed out. guys want sex this guy is at least waiting and if it turns out he's playing you for sex than its just a thought- as you've been doing other things -so he got tricked by his own game.

Good luck:)

[realist4real]

don't put doubt into her minds:S jeezee... the guy obviously likes you, if he is taking it slow and shares intrest it's going the good way... do fun stuff share and share, but if you have doubts then find out what is concerning you the most and ask him... maybe it is not the good time to ask about exes after really knowing each other goods and bads fav etc. it could ruin moments... if you like the guy you could have asked him after some weeks... (just a thought) when you mention your ex he might became jalous and did not wanted to discussed ferder about it, you should ask him why he changed the topic.. maybe you get some releave of your shoulder :D..

[EberWavesofGrain]

What does age have to do with it? I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 26.

From your story, it sounds like this guy likes you. He's learning your first language? That's a commitment.

Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable talking about exes...Either he's never had a relationship before and he's shy, or his past relationships were painful and he doesn't want to think about them.

If you really want to know, ask.

It could be possible that he only wants to be friends, or only wants sex...but it sounds to me like he likes you. Again, the only way to tell is to ask. Or just give it time and see how things go.

[Badasti]

Age has everything to do with it. 9 out of 10 guys with an age gap that big are usually in it for the sex. I'm 23 and I don't have much in common with 18 year olds anymore. This isn't true in all cases don't get me wrong. Just most. But yes by the sounds of it this dude likes her =)

[toulouse]

My best R/ where sex was not part of the equation were with guys at least 8 years older. Younger guys are usually too impatient or still believe if you don't have sex you are not a man- or she is not worth your time. The age is not a big deal. she's 19 & guys are often not as mature emotionally anyways so its a goods fit more likely than not. Q/A I wouldn't worry about his motives. Just hang out as you seem enjoy each others company. Don't have sex you don't need to worry about him using You for sex :)

[themastaplan]

woah...thats SICK as hell...the letter in your native language...wow, yo this guy def likes you...age doesn't matter now adays...i mean think of it this way...im 23 right I've seen some 16 year old girls who are hot---i won't lie to you, they are freakin hot...but I would never touch them because of their age...now if I was 28 and they were 22...why the hell not...its all about maturity really now adays...i live with 3 other people and 2 of them are girls...they are 19 turning 20...one is kind of immature and the other you would think was at least 23 just because of her maturity...this world is changing and age is just a number if you ask me(in certain situations) but hey go for it - he seems to really be into you

make sur eyou bring a friend when you meet or at least let someone know what you are doing incase he turns out to be a creep...seriously tho that's really important

[aunin]

really age has got nothing to do with it. I am 25 and I do like a girl of age 16 but I like her cause she's matured and really cute and also not complicated like other women I ve seen like her.

people putting comments just missed one part, you mentioned - when you two first met, a lot of flirting went on which means he had interest from the very beginning. And then later you mentioned, you bumped into him and gave him your number which might have just led him into thinking that you may ve felt something for him from the first day's meeting. so I won't be surprised if he thinks of having a chance with you. or maybe he's just a really nice guy but tell me how many nice guys ve you seen so far who tried learning another language 'THEMSELVES' just to make a friend happy?

[wanacot]

It sounds like there is an obvious attraction on his part. He's gone a little above what most people would call friendly, especially after just meeting you.

Whether he wants to pursue something serious or simply a fling is something you'll have to find out. Instead of trying to bait him into talking about a topic, just ask him questions to get him to open up. If he's a nice, honest guy he shouldn't have a problem answering anything.

[anynymoooooose]

The way you wrote that, I got the impression that he likes you and might want a relationship. You should ask him, there's nothing to be ashamed of. If you're not comfortable with that, then try to kiss him or something and see how he reacts. If you can trust him, feel it out and see how things go.

[Searnd_Giddon]

He likes you. Stop being paranoid and enjoy it. You're making the poor guy work way too hard, he probably thinks you don't like him! Do what girls do and do the stare so he knows you want him to kiss you and I bet he will!

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

I was thinking he liked you very much right up to the whole "ex" situation, but then again I don't know if he's just embarassed by his past relationships or not.

I think you'll really have to ask him what his interest in you is.

[crazydaisy216]

I think he likes you, and he'd prefer not to talk about ex's. He wants to get to know u, so it's probably not a good idea to talk about UR exes... I don't think guys like to hear about other guys.

[dreamishobby]

difficult to say what he wants...

he might be liking you truly...but then he might be an excellent player and might forget you after he gets what he wants!

[Asker]

If he is a player .. then its a good thing he is NOT going to get what he wants ;). hehe

[GoodGuy007]

I'd sy he likes you, but he just might want sex. You gotta figure out his past to know what made him into what he is now.

[Anonymous]

Ask him if you Could meet some of his Friends so you can all Hang out or something.

Then see how he acts with them and that will most likely give you a better answer to it :]

[alanb]

he could be a damn good player, but I think he really likes you

[Anonymous]

He's into you plain and simple. My fiance is 7 years older than me, I met him when I was 20 and he was 27 nearly 28. Give him a shot.

[Anonymous]

You and I are at the same age, I'm also in my second year... I understand that it's tough... But you should test him...

[Anonymous]

Age is just a number. When I was 16 I was sleeping with a 26 year old and he treated me better then any guy I've ever met.

[Anonymous]

nobody gives a flying f*** to be honest..

[Asker]

Yet it was worth commenting on for you...or reading it for that matter. If you don't care you are free to ignore this and any other questions on the site, or even the site itself. Plus, that's an interesting concept.."a flying f*** " when was the last time anyone gave one of those?