WHY DOESN'T HE TEXT ME FIRST? I met a guy at work and we've known each other for a year. Also attends the same school as me. I have a crush?

[Anonymous]

Used to text about work-related things 1-2x a week, & would sometimes deviate into other topics of conversation such as school or personal stories, etc. Now, we sometimes talk for hours about lots of things. Problem is, I'm doing 90% of the initiating, yet he's not a bad conversationalist. Sometimes he responds hours/several minutes later, & apologizes for replying late due to playing video games. Sometimes, he won't reply if we've been talking all day & it's already night, when I figure he's going to bed. Yet, I'm usually always the one sending the "Hi". It's always me asking if he wants to study together, go to the gym, get lunch. Also, I've noticed that he only hugs me but handshakes other males when saying hi or bye. Sometimes we end up handshaking due to being seated, but he is the one who always initiates the hugs. I am not sure how he is perceiving me. Trying to keep from texting him because I don't want to come off as needy, wondering if I'm smothering him or not. Is there a chance he could like me or even like me as a good friend? I feel like if he's seeing my face 3, 4 days out of the 5 days he is in school or we're working then it might annoy him, & if I don't see him, I might shoot him a text. Do guys get annoyed by seeing 1 particular person a lot of the time? If he texts me, it's not to say "How are you?" It's something school/work related, & once in a while he'll ask where I am if we're in school. He likes my selfies on social media. Does he find me attractive? He doesn't like my other photos so much, but if I post a selfie, he'll like it. He never comments on my physical appearance but of the few times we've gone to the gym, I've complained that my arms are skinny & he said they were normal looking, but another time he said that I had strong legs. I want him to be comfortable with me, want & enjoy my company. As far as we both know, I do text a lot sometimes. What would a guy think if one girl texted him a lot? Should I wait for him to text me first?

[dhirenlove]

You find a good time n. Day... B with him n say how much you love him, best way to get approval is tell him about his silly silly points that you love all.. don't ask in yes or no... Ask him what you feel about me... On that day wear his fav. Color n for him make a special dish of his choice get him in to a any private nature kind of place.. let him sit, give your food n tell him from your heart how much you love him... B cool n b mild

[Asker]

Oh no, I could never bring myself to do that. We work together and if I did something like that it could upset our work relationship and friendship. I just don't want him to be annoyed by me but at the same time, talk to me often and initiate contact and try to hang out with me more.

[dhirenlove]

It won't be effected in your professional life

[Asker]

I don't think he and I are close enough that I could get him to come out alone with me somewhere where it happens to be nature and private, romantic seeming and feeding him, we're not close enough FRIENDS yet that I could even dream of getting to that stage. Plus, it could affect my professional life because if I did confess my feelings, and he rejected me, it would be weird everytime we saw each other at work. and our job requires us to be in constant communication with each other as well as our clients, so if our clients sense an imbalance between us, we are not helping our company very much.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he views you as a friend but in my experience when I'm this much of a friend to a single girl I definitely have a thing for her.

[Asker]

So do you think a possible reason for him not texting me first is because maybe he realizes I like him and doesn't want to encourage such behavior? I'll probably never tell him my true feelings lmao but I like the idea that we could be good friends.

[Opinion Owner]

I mean honestly it could mean anything. This one girl would text me first all the time so I never felt like I had to iniate, the convos were always fun though. I think you're over thinking it. Honestly you should just tell him though.

[Asker]

Oh no, I could never bring myself to do that. We work together and if I did something like that it could upset our work relationship and friendship. I just don't want him to be annoyed by me but at the same time, talk to me often and initiate contact and try to hang out with me more. But if say that girl that texted you first often, if she stopped and you noticed, would you text her to see what's up, because you noticed this abrupt change in behavior and want to know what's going on in her life, or would you not initiate at all even after she stopped texting

[Asker]

And you're right, I am over thinking it, I guess I'm just conscious lately of how people perceive me. And i try to do it in a non-biased way, I try to ask multiple people of the opposite sex for their take on it. I also try to look at myself objectively, or like from their perspective.

[Damamloyo]

If didn't text you, means that he doesn't have a phone. Buy him one

[Asker]

What? He has a phone lol we are in contact... i've established that...

[Damamloyo]

Or maybe he has a chronic amnesia and forget how to use phone, come on girl, let him go, indulge urself..

[Asker]

lmao nooo I'm probably going to be working with this guy for years to come