I wish my boyfriend was more masculine, any advice?

[Anonymous]

I've always been into really manly men. But then I met my boyfriend and fell in love with him.

Don't get me wrong, I love him. But he's very sentimental, not dominant, pretty much a metrosexual and is physically feminine too.

It has been sexually frustrating me and I'm not sure what to do.

Any advice?

[looneymalooney]

try and bring out the animal in him.
Dunno. Some guys are also paying attention (maybe too much sometimes) at how girls carry themselves around. Maybe you do not seem to be that kind of a person to enjoy "manly" stuff and so he wears "gloves" when being around you.

I remember I was once sitting with this girl and we weren't even in a relationship at that point, but we were very flirtatious with each other and throwing sexual innuendos and I could tell she likes things on the rougher side.
She definitely wasn't giving that "pansy" vibe.
I remember one day we were sitting at the table, she picks up a plastic knife and starts using the little plastic cutting edge to run it over my hand. It was scratching, but nothing painful, yet it was strange seeing her do that and arousing to say the least.
All I could think of was me putting my hand around her neck and pushing her against the wall, hearing her breathe heavily, use my other hand to unbutton her shirt just to reveal a bit, then grab her arm, turn her around, face against the wall. Run the hand that I used to hold her neck through her hair slowly, almost massaging her scalp and then suddenly grab her hair and pull her head back. Then slide my free hand between the wall and her thigh, and slowly bring it up to the crotch...
that did not happen because we were in public, but I was boiling and it was because of her.
She was giving this vibe, that she would be ok with it.
There are other girls, that take the "princess" role to seriously and I honestly tend to believe they never had sex. So if by any chance I would happen to end up with such a girl in bed, I'd try to hide the "animal".
Do you guys even flirt besides having sex? Do you consider yourself to be playful around your guy or flirtatious? That is arousing as hell and you need to take that pressure of yourself somehow, so being in public, you might not be able to fuck literally, but you can relieve the "tension" by getting a bit rougher.
Cause flirting feels like pain and pleasure at the same time. Brain gets all working, you cannot do it, but you find a way to get back at your partner and so you come up with a way to "pay it back" and this gets the situation rolling.

As I was talking about flirtatious and playful. There's this girl I know. The dullest person I have ever met and wouldn't even get a porn start to fuck her properly to be honest. No skills whatsoever in arousing someone. Like a plank of wood.

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

Touch grass little' bro.🤡

[DabbingSquid]

The brutal truth is: you might want to let go of him and find yourself someone that will fulfill that. It sounds like a messed up thing, but what you want isn't in him. Truth is, women think they all want the "caring loving guy" but they don't.

Or, if you really want to go for a long shot, just let him know that you want him to chissel up a bit. I read a verified story months ago about a guy who had a feminine physique and was almost taken by some guys because they thought he was a girl and he was able to get into his car and lock himself in before they snatched him.

Just a bit of a motivational story to try to help him bulk up.

:^)

[Asker]

Thanks! it's not that much about his physique (he does work out), but the way he carries himself and stuff

[DabbingSquid]

Then maybe a wardrobe change or something like that eh?

[kaylaS91]

How does he look 'physically feminine'?

As for his sentimental/non-dominant behaviours.. . that's his demeanor. A personality trait, so to say. That's how he is, no different from how you're what I'll assume to be submissive and definitely overly-idealistic.

So... the only thing you could really do to attempt and change him into your perfect 'manly' man is to ask him to become a different person. Or, better yet, just date who satisfies all the items on your checklist of your perfect partner.

[Asker]

Overly idealistic because I have a sexual preference?

[kaylaS91]

oops, my bad. I meant 'unrealistic'.

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[BKings]

Are you sure you love him? You say you don't like some of his personality traits, really loving him means you would appreciate those. If you want to change how he is, that's not love

[Asker]

That's obviously not the only aspect of his personality. You can love a person a lot without loving every single thing about him. We get along perfectly on every other level but in terms of sexual attractiveness, I'm a bit frustrated.

[BKings]

Yes, of course, but the things you don't love about that person shouldn't matter, if you really love him.
If the problem is physical attraction, then that's completely different, in that case you should talk to him and see if he wants to do something about it

[Asker]

The problem is sexual attraction

[BKings]

Maybe I misunderstood, are you talking about small things during sex that show he is sentimental and not dominant and all that?

[Asker]

Some things that he does (not during sex) are a sexual turn off, and in bed he's more submissive than I'd like him to be

[BKings]

Well, talk to him, maybe he can try to change

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[austindarling]

Why get into relationship in first place if that's what you don't like? Either accept the way he is or leave.

[Asker]

That's obviously not the only aspect of his personality. You can love a person a lot without loving every single thing about him. We get along perfectly on every other level but in terms of sexual attractiveness, I'm a bit frustrated.

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[englisc]

There's probably not much you can do I'm afraid. If he doesn't care about these things himself he's probably never going to, that's jut te way he's been raised. And if he's sensitive he's probably just gonna get upset if you openly say it.

One of my girlfriend's friends had this problem, her boyfriend is pretty much like a woman - thinks feminism is good, thinks it's good for men to be more effeminate - and she openly said that she wanted him to man up a bit, said that the sex was bad. He just shrugged and didn't care, never changed. Refuses to go to the gym.

Manly men grow up around other manly men. It's mainly men who enforce this masculinity. You'll notice on threads about masculinity, men wearing make up, women's clothes, boys playing with dolls etc. It's mostly men who say that it's wrong while women say it's fine, that it's a good thing. They encourage it despite not being attracted to it because they don't understand masculinity or the importance of it. Only men can teach a boy how to be a man. So if he hasn't grown up around masculine men, he'll think and act more like a woman and you won't be able to change it.

If you really want to make it work I suppose you could hint at these things - enjoying dominance, being attracted to muscular guys, not liking men who are too vain or focused on their appearance. Otherwise you're gonna have to leave.

[Chiral]

What evidence do you have that it's nurture rather than nature? I think the scientific consensus is very much that these kinds of traits are innate. I don't think upbringing has any discernable effect on such things.

[englisc]

@Chiral

I think it's both nurture and nature. Of course genes have something to with it but to say that your upbringing has no effect at all on the way you turn out as an adult is just silly.

[Chiral]

Well the largest studies that have been done on identical twins raised in wildly different environments have concluded that the way a child is raised has no significant effect on their main character traits.

Some experiences do have a significant effect but it is not the structured directed environmental factors like parenting style that leave their mark, it is random, unpredictable chance events that for one reason or another have meaning for the person and influence the way their innate character type is manifested.

[Chiral]

plus.google.com/.../NzThLg3Tz5v

[englisc]

@Chiral

It would e interesting to see that study if you have a link, however I still struggle to believe that that's true because there are plenty of other examples of how upbringing can and does affect the way somebody acts. For example children without fathers are statistically more likely to use drugs, become alcoholic, commit crime, end up in jail, engage in sex from an earlier age, get pregnant as a teen, suffer with confusion over gender identity etc.

[Chiral]

Yes that's true. I suppose that that is an effect that is statistically significant but still weak when it comes to individual cases. I mean it would only take a few percentage points of difference to be able to say single parent upbringings lead to worse educational attainment but I think in these studies when there's a few percentage points difference due to upbringing that is described as very little effect because the other factors are so dominant in comparison.

[Chiral]

This is the study I was thinking of, it is actually measuring differences in social outlook and political viewpoint but I would expect masculinity to be more innate than this if anything :

A Genetic Basis of Economic Egalitarianism SpringerLink link.springer.com/.../s11211-017-0297-y

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

@Chiral -Touch grass🤡

[Duke1985]

Advice.. you can't change him. I've had the same problem with my first girlfriend. Or let's just say she had the problem. Try complimenting him whenever he does something remotely manly. Don't judge him for doing something feminin. Before all, don't shove it in his face, especially because he's sensitive. "I feel save when i'm around you" is a very strong statement, and makes him feel very manly. Constantly being judged for not being the way you imagine a man to be makes him even more insecure and unhappy. Think about it.
You love him, and i hope you have reasons to do so. So be glad you have a guy who's not afraid to show his feelings, embrace the fact that he is a modern man who let's you take decisions. And physical manliness is only good for movies. Vise versa for girls

[heyhey321]

Break up. As harsh as it may sound the moment you feel the need to change him is the moment you need to let him go if you can not come to terms with it. It will not go away and the chances of him actually doing something about it are very low and even then what could he do? Just talk to him it's better than asking random people on the internet. See how it turns out but my opinion is to talk to him and let him go if you can not love him like he is. Poor dude. And you should get yo shit togather I am really curious about you loving him and still asking something like that...
In the end do what you feel is right, that's what we all do.

[Asker]

I should get my shit together? huh?

[heyhey321]

Yea, that's in my opinion the best thing to do. I know you won't anyway haha just because some dude on the net says but at least give it some thought. Talk to him about it maybe you can find a solution and even that will be way better than keeping to yourself.

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[Chiral]

Suggest that he become your devoted slave, your adoring pet, your doting cuckold. See how he reacts. You never know, it may even be what he secretly desires. Then you can do whatever you like with whomever you choose and he'll love you all the more for it.

The only other option is to end it in my opinion. You're not going to change something as fundamental to who he is as that, and if you stay with him you'll end up cheating.

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[Decentguy]

tell him that? so he will try to fix it, by going to the gym?

[Asker]

It's not that much about his physique, but the way he carries himself

[Decentguy]

you mean that he's less dominant?

[Asker]

That's one of the main things yes

[Decentguy]

well its a personality trait you know, i dont think you can change that. but you can try. by giving him hints, that you are not satisfied in bed, and you need a dominant man

[Regular1]

He sounds like the perfect candidate for you to get some cuck action going. Bring over a masculine guy and make your boyfriend watch as the other guy pounds you on the couch. As you are being nailed senseless, keep yelling at your boyfriend that this is how a real man fucks his girl. Your boyfriend will either up his manliness game, or you can continue bringing different guys over.

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[CubsterShura]

Talk to him. Straightforward but in a positive and mature manner. Be honest. It will be hard but it's very very important.

[ohshee]

Are you going to be a big big boy in the mentally feminine 2 or at least trying to touch that way it's always nice to be very slow soft and gentle but then as you can read her eyes I can be a lot of aggressive to you

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[truthbeknown]

Like many others have said, you are simply asking for too much of a physical and emotional change. It sounds like your boyfriend and who you are actually into are two completely different people.

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[drewbaby1616]

Well, all I know is that you'll never be satisfied with me. I'm not a metrosexual, but I am a submissive, more emotional than most guys my age, and I want to be feminized by my girlfriend (if I ever get one).

[Asker]

Thanks for your incredibly relevant opinion

[drewbaby1616]

Sarcasm?

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[OlderAndWiser]

Is the problem that he is not dominant in bed or is it a problem in other areas?

[Asker]

It's really mainly in bed. There are other things that I wish he'd be more masculine, but that's also related to my sexual attraction to him.

[OlderAndWiser]

Suggest that you play a sex game: "Winner Says, Loser Does." The point of this game is that you take turns telling the other one what you want them to do. That forces you to verbalize what you want and to be assertive about it. Try to set it up so that you are the winner the first time and you are giving directions. That will allow him an opportunity to get comfortable with the game.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a28737-how-to-get-your-partner-to-do-anything-in-bed-anything

[Asker]

That sounds helpful. Thanks a lot! :)

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[Cellestial]

"It's not that much about his physique, but the way he carries himself"

What does this mean? is it the matter how he wears or what because this still a bit strange

[Asker]

Not dominant, not assertive, not masculine, very sensitive

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[tadiggidy]

Love him for who he is. I am tough, but I'm not masculine and I am a bit of a metrosexual myself. Try to spice things up sexually and find what works for the both of you.

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[animus1988]

What will happen is you will eventually cheat on him with a masculine dude when one comes along. I've seen it happen many times in college. I'd say just find a new boyfriend instead of cheating but that's your call

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[KenKillsBarbies]

Uhhh find someone else or stop bitching or tell him... it’s not hard

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[yourdarksecretx]

Yea just tell him to hit thr gym straight without sayinf it indirectly he won't mind I promise

[Stevenscotte]

... you did not wanna be alone, not right to change him, find what you need, sounds like you need to be man handled and to feel safe

[Jonathan_T]

Either change boyfriend or opinion. He is who he is, the same as when you met him, right?

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[Anonymous]

you really can't change him unfortunately hahah i would feel the same way if i was dating a masculine girl

[Anonymous]

You picked him for being who he is, why did you pick him if he was that way?
Men do NOT change... he is and will be who he is before and after you.

[sidvt]

I advice u to stop this masculine people are weak in bed n sex they are not efficient compared to normal one scientifically proven

[StillOutEarningYouIn]

-Touch grass🤡

[Intraluminal]

Encourage him to bulk up.

[lotusfly]

About all you can do. Try to persuade him to join a gym, and hope for the best. A physical change is about the only change you're likely to ever see.

[EpicDweeb]

How long have you been together if I may ask?

[Asker]

About 2 years

[EpicDweeb]

Hmm... Well, that rules out infatuation so it's safe to say you both genuinely love each other. In that case I'd recommend you simply tell him what you'd like from him in bed. He's probably more than willing to provide, but it's possible he doesn't want to hurt you at the same time. In terms of general masculinity... I don't know what to tell you except that... you shouldn't try to change him. To a guy, trying to change him makes him feel like you're rejecting a part of who they are. It makes him feel like he isn't good enough and it makes him feel disrespected.

I know feeling "disrespected" can be a sensitive term but the fact of the matter is, that men crave a sense of respect. Women (as a general rule and based strictly on psychology, science etc.) crave love rather than respect. Not to say both genders don't need both, but for each, one is like water and the other is like air.

[EpicDweeb]

Sorry I know I'm rambling and getting a tad bit off topic... basic point being, If you feel there's a different way in which you want him to love you, make CERTAIN that's what you're communicating, rather than "you're not doing a good enough job, I don't really respect you."

Guys and girls tend to hear and interpret things differently so it's easy to think you're communicating one thing when to the other person you're communicating something totally different.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your response. You sound like you really made an effort to provide good advice.

He likes being submissive in bed and I am more dominant than I'd like to be, in order to please him. So I guess you're right. I should try to tell him my fantasies a little so he could meet me halfway. Thanks again :)

[EpicDweeb]

My pleasure :) and I really hope it helps!

[Anonymous]

I wish girls were more feminine, you don't see my complaining though, do you?

[Asker]

I feel bad that you settle for less than what you want.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm single

[Asker]

That doesn't surprise me

[Opinion Owner]

Then why do i have 3 uppies

[Asker]

Bc we're on gag lmao

[Opinion Owner]

exactly my point, we're ALL losers, this place is FOR losers

[scooogy]

Try to get him upset and see how he reacts.

[Anonymous]

Talk to him about it. You have to.

[disgustingweebtrash]

Give him steroids

[englisc]

If he doesn't know he's on them and doesn't do PCT afterwards once he stops he'll grow some bitch tits.

[TheFlak38]

Get yourself man.

[HamAndCheese]

Push him around.

[agentx19]

You don't enjoy?

[Asker]

what?

[agentx19]

Are you fed up with that

[Asker]

I'm a bit frustrated.

[agentx19]

Oops sorry for that

[agentx19]

If you are interested message me privately..

[Asker]

interested in what

[agentx19]

In chatting privately

[agentx19]

How to message in private?

[englisc]

If you show her real man she might show bobs and vagene

[noamaansid]

add me

[Asker]

why?

[noamaansid]

let us hv a tlk

[englisc]

i0.kym-cdn.com/.../13c.jpg

He show u real man u show him bobs and vagene