Some insight into shy guys?

[Anonymous]

Hey there! Just wondering about Shy guys, what are they like, how do they act with friends and what would they do when they like someone?

[Brando]

Well I can answer because I used to be really shy. People still mistake me for being shy when I'm really just calm in my introverted ways :)

Shy guys have the same thoughts and desires every other guy has. They would like to have a girlfriend, they would like to have sex, etc. but they don't push like other guys do to get it. It depends on the person as to why they are shy...some have had bad experiences, some are like that from birth, some never learned how to socialize properly, some just don't feel the need to. There are various reasons why they are shy which means they will have their own behavior when they approach topics like this. If they were born like that, they may feel helpless because it seems like it's part of who they are and it might be difficult to change. If they've had bad experiences, they may be anxious or even jaded/cynical. If they didn't learn proper socialization, they may feel confused or overwhelmed by dating or socializing in general. And if they don't feel the need to learn "the game" might just have their energy focused elsewhere.

But yes, besides their behavior they just want to be treated like other guys are treated, they want similar things, all that stuff.

But remember about what I said in my first paragraph. I'm introverted and I might be part of the "don't care" group. I've been attracted to girls here and there, but sometimes (read: most of the time lol) don't act on it. Not sure why, I just don't feel the need to push for those things maybe I'm just too laid back. But yeah, make sure to remember that a guy may not talk a lot, but that doesn't mean he is shy. I know that's one thing I hate is when people assume that I'm shy just because I'd rather not talk.

[FlightAuror2]

It depends on the guy, we're all different. I'm naturally an introvert, and I'm working on being more extroverted as I've realized that sitting comfortably in my quiet coccoon doesn't really help with getting a girlfriend.

For the most part, my problem comes down to self-confidence. I've never been attractive, or rather, I've never been oggled and hit on in a non-subtle way, and sometimes I blow things out of proportion from a lack of experience with interacting with more mature women as I get older, but I also tend to figure, hey, if she's THAT good looking, she's not single, move on, only thing is, I'm surrounded by attractive women almost everywhere I go. That's the beauty of college, but I also hear stories of girls telling guys they have boyfriends just to keep from getting involved, so it doesn't help.

I was going to ask a girl today if she wanted to attend a convocation speech with me, but I came to realize in class before asking her, that there's no way someone like herself would have picked up a ticket without plans to go with a friend - that its pointless to even try. But I have hope that somewhere I'll run into someone...I guess I'm a pessimistic optimist?

Its kind of hard to explain...

[Cyric]

Shy guys are usually silent, observant, typically serene in any situation. With friends, shy guys are usually more talkative though they may be quieter due to other people they aren't familiar with being present. I know because that's how I get, now they shy guy will prefer speaking with someone who is trusted over someone they feel uncomfortable with. When a shy guy likes a girl...distance themselves. Maybe attempt to talk a little with them more and more over time but nothing flirtatious. They will often steal glances, be distant yet friendly towards the person they find attractive but never undertake social interaction on their own which means another person would have to take social action first and do so chronically.

That answers your questions I'd imagine. :)

[AbeAnnis]

Interesting question! I'm friends with some guys who are shy around girls. It doesn't correlate at all to the way they are with their guy friends. They may just not have any sisters and not really know how to talk to and relate to girls. They may just not relate to other people well or be afraid of rejection.

Either way, it may be pretty difficult for a girl to get through to them and they probably won't approach a girl they like. You also may not be into him because of his shyness (unless that's your thing! My friend's girlfriend describes him as "endearingly awkward."), and once he's comfortable with you and stops being shy around you, you may discover that you're just not interested in him. He may even be mean!

Of course there's an equal chance that he turns out to be a very nice guy who is just socially awkward. Talk to him if you think he is cute or interesting. You may be surprised by what you find out!

Good Luck!

-Abe

[pjnicholson]

Coming from a shy guy, I've come to understand that I'm quiet. But not to say all the time, around friends and people I trust I have more enthusiasm and I'm more fun to be around to every one I ever meet. When it comes to meeting new people I guess it's a comfort ability thing, I get quiet around new people and especially pretty girls. Even though I'm in a relationship I still get quiet around any pretty girls. That I haven't figured out yet. But when it comes to dating you just got to give them some time to open up to you. It will happen just don't push them to be something there not and you will see there are actually small little things we do most girls find cute.

[silverdollar]

Guys who are introverts (shy) don't want to confront people or be the center of attention. They will be comfortable around their friends, of course. It is unlikely that a shy guy would ever ask you out directly. They might try to be in the same place as you: club, class, party. You'll have to ask them out directly yourself. It's the only way.

[darkknight1x]

Don't expect that shy guys have only shy friends or a lot of them. Some don't want to talk for fear of being judged. And because in their experience they know most people are not open-minded so he doesn't want to open up. They may have trust issues.

You should wear shirts of your favorite band(s) or sports team(s) and that will help a shy guy know what to talk about to start a conversation with you.

[bazooka]

Well it seems like you're doing a research on us, shy guys lol. We're normal people, but we take comparatively more time to get close to a person, and more over we mingle with less number of people and don't tend to do crazy or extreme stuff. I'm normal with my friends, but I'm not the same with a person I've just met. I've never had a girl friend ( being shy ain't the only reason for that), but I've like a few girls, but never approached them.

[techione]

Shy guys are all majoring dangerous in some way. Find out what it is with any one you find. They sold in theory be safe with someone who is willing to listen.