My boyfriend's mother has been trying to break us up or am I nuts?

[Anonymous]

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he and I went to the romantic island of St. Martin with his parents. Well, this year his mother apparently invited him to go to St. Martin and she picked a month that I wouldn't be able to take the time off from work. He is going, but he told me that I cannot afford it. I told him that if he goes without me, I am done with him because it is such a selfish thing to do to your girlfriend knowing that we've been together for 4 years and he is just going to let his mother try to ruin this relationship. By the way this is not the first time she has invited him to go on trips when I couldn't take time off.

Updates

+1 y

There hasn't been any contact since our last talk. I am just trying to think things through and take all of your comments into consideration (even if I disagree). Any guys out there that may wannna comment?

[Ashewark]

I don't think you should let her defeat you. You aren't trying to be with your boyfriend's parents, you are trying to be with your boyfriend. Sure, you would have to continue to deal with his parents, but they are not as important as your boyfriend. It is a pain to have to try to get along with them, but if your boyfriend is worth it, then it's worthwhile.

On the flip side, your boyfriend needs to have some backbone and stand up for you. It's difficult to go against his mother's wishes, but he's not going to marry her for heaven's sake. Most people choose their mate over their parents, so if he ditches you because mommy doesn't like you, then he isn't worth your time. I think you need to let him know (very bluntly) how you feel about the situation so there is absolutely no question that he knows how serious the situation is. If he lets you go after all that time, it will be really hurtful, but you are getting out of something that isn't worthwhile if he's willing to give up so easily.

However, I hope he listens to the wake-up call and does the right thing. It won't be easy (she's his family, after all) but if he has your support and love, he should realize he has all he needs.

[Ashewark]

If you're going to down rate me, at least explain why. =-/

[Asker]

Sorry, I am not too familiar with this site and

[Katie88]

Maybe she doesn't like you but, don't give in because if you do then you're letting her win. Don't let them know it bothers you because that's all she wants. My boyfriends mom used to be like that but, I've finally beat her. Stay strong.

[Asker]

Did your boyfiend have your back? Or did he just let his mother treat you bad?

[Katie88]

He did have my back. I won't lie though it took a little while of me explaining to him how I felt. Finally I made him see that they weren't being fair. He realized it was about him and I not really what his mother thinks. Yes, her opinion matters but, only to a certain extent. I wouldn't jump on you're boyfriend but, you can talk to him about it and try to explain how it makes you feel.

[Anonymous]

It doesn't seem like you love your boyfriend very much. Would you dump him over a trip? Maybe they just want some alone time with their son. She did give birth to him after all. I think your the one whose being selfish here.

[max-watte]

I have to agree, Alone time always dose a relationship good.

[Asker]

Let's just say that when my boyfriend and I were engaged and he gave me the ring and I accepted, a week later his mother gave me papers to sign which stated that if the engagement went down I was to return the ring immediately. This wasn't an heirloom. What kind of crap is that? So, I gave the ring back to him and said he could buy me a fifity dollar ring...we almost broke up over that. So, things have been a little rocky when she gets involved. It's not like things have been smooth sailing

[Asker]

Well, anonymous you really don't know the half of it. We have not been smooth sailing. My boyfirend's mother did give birth to him, but he is 36 years old and I think it might be time to cut the cord don't you??? Unless he wants to stay single for the rest of his life...and by the way they live 5 minutes apart from each other and he rents his house from Mom. Also, he works for Mom and Dad... Do you get my drift???