How to handle a grumpy boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I am currently dating an Irish guy for less than a year now and on an ldr. I have been the most understanding of his attitude when it comes to being grumpy, distant, moody. I have read tons of articles about how to handle an Irish man and it helped me better understand him but recently it’s getting in my nerves, We are okay the night before, we talked, we joked, we laughed and sweet with each other but on the next day, he don’t text me, he just completely out of the radar. Usually, I don’t text him first because I am already aware of his moods so I always wait for him to text me first, we’ve talked about this before that we should at least talk in the morning and before sleeping just to catch up what’s been going on with each other’s lives but it seems he just want to disappear and I am annoyed whenever he does it. I don’t prevent him from going out, I don’t stalk him, nag him or even gets jealous coz I trust him. LDR is already exhausting and difficult that’s why I avoid fights, useless arguments, gets paranoid whatever he is doing or where his at. My only concern is him being grumpy, always shuts me down if I offer any help for him if he is in a bad mood, he just takes me forgranted. This is the first time I am so confused in a rel where in I don’t get much assurances from him but I know how Irish men are, they are not showy or vocal with their feelings. I feel he has feelings for me but not exactly sure where I stand in his life. He is dealing with stress at work, family issues, on going long divorce process but he can’t just continue to set me aside and doesn’t consider my feelings. I am constantly fighting for his attention, I know want constant communication since we are faraway that’s all. Please give me some advice on how to deal this grumpy boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

Hi!
Would you treat him the way he treats you? I don't think you would. So you basically are giving him much more than he is giving to you. This is very unbalanced and of course it will result in you being frustrated and him doing whatever he wants cause he can. You should try this... Send him this message: "I can sense some confusion from your side right now. I only want the best for you so I will give you space and hope I will still be there when you have things figured out. II need to take some time for myself. xxx"
I swear you need to do that. It means that you get what he's been doing, but you're not angry or mean, you're classy and you do need to get away from this guy for now. He won't get it at first, so you'll have to stop talking to him for at least a few weeks. And then you'll see if his behaviour changes or not. If not, then you really dodged a bullet...

[Asker]

-thanks for this advice! I will talk to him in person. I need to get this straight once and for all

[Annie_Mosity]

My partner used to be a grumpy bastard and get stroppy and act like a sulky child a lot. I told him straight out that I was sick of dealing with that immature shit, that we were supposed to be a partnership and if he couldn't act like an adult and talk to me then he could piss off.

Of course there is the possibility he might piss off, but being serious if he isn't prepared to discuss the issue then he really should piss off. Being Irish is no excuse, that's just stereotyping to a huge level. He just sounds like a grumpy, stoic man child.

[Asker]

- I have been reading a lot of articles on ways how to deal with this kind if person. It helped me to understand more that there are people who are like that. This is my first time to handle such a difficult individual. Women don’t deserve to be in this kind of treatment, I will definitely talk to him about this when I see him again.

[Annie_Mosity]

No one deserves to be treated like that by their partner. Tell him it just isn't good enough.

[Asker]

-Oh yes! It should not be that way.

[Finchie40]

Dump him , you being a positive person dealing with a negative person is just going to get worse , you deserve someone that is just like you are , staying with a negative grumpy person is not good for your health considering it's just going to make you stressed , I been down that road with an Irish girl that was always grumpy and negative , a weight was lifted off my chest when I broke free from it , I know you feel u can change them and want to help them but all its going to do is hurt you , dump his ass and find someone positive

[x_Pretty_x]

Great advice 😊

[Finchie40]

Thanks pretty , life is too short to be with someone miserable

[Asker]

-Negative people and things can’t do any good to a person’s life. I guess I have to talk to h soonest and do what needs to be done that will ease our suffering and stress.

[Asker]

-Life is too short to be grumpy and not be happy about life... It shouldn’t be this way.

[Finchie40]

Everyone has a bad day once in awhile but when it's consistent and you're taking it out on your partner then that isn't healthy, your partner should be what makes you be happy , your highlight of. your day should be being with your partner , when someone takes their anger out on you all you are is their punching bag and they are only thinking about themselves , be with someone that is happy and positive to have u

[Finchie40]

Thanks sweetie , hope you moved on

[cfreshh]

Its always hard to accept the possibility of things not working out but a lot relationships don't. I haven't stepped in your shoes so I don't know. But, you need to have a deep talk, dig in each others minds, tell him the things you love and don't and why, understand him, and find a solution. If you can't find a solution then you will have to face the facts.

[Asker]

-will do... Plan of talking him out when we see each other again

[x_Pretty_x]

This is something you may want to really consider before your " in too deep". If you care so much for him that you don't want to leave him. Then being encouraging is the best thing you can do. Whether you are aware of his moods (which is the reason you dont text first) I suggest doing it anyways. Say something like, goodmorning handsome, how's your day going? I've been thinking about you since I woke up". Wait for a response. Try for a little while and maybe he will come around. This will meen a lot of extra effort from you for a little while. After that, if it doesn't change, I highly recommend either an ultimatum, that you will leave if it doesn't change, or to just break up. You can't be the one putting in all the effort. Your important too and he needs to try, regardless. I know it sucks, but life is about making decisions we dont want to. You dont want to be in too deep with this guy that you have kids and he's still acting this way. Then it ends in divorce and upset little ones. Think about your future. Good luck 😊

[Asker]

-thanks for this advice! I am exactly doing that, just to let him feel that he is appreciated and I find him sexy. I am a very vocal and transparent person, I want to make sure that I always let my loved ones feel I appreciate, love and grateful for them in my life. Coz we’ll never know, life is too short to not spread love and good vibes. Life seems easier if all positivity around. I will give him a chance until we see each other again, I will talk to him personally and share all of my concerns if he isn’t up for it then I guess I have to end.

[x_Pretty_x]

I agree 100% . Hopefully he will realize what he has and get his shit together. 😊

[PinkMichae]

Sometimes people with stress, anxiety, or depression get caught up in their heads neglecting the other people that love them. They don't do it on purpose tho. All you can do is make sure you're completely honest with how you feel. But he may be dealing with something he's afraid to open up about. Maybe he doesn't text you at times because he doesn't have anything positive to talk about in that moment so he goes silent. All you can do is except it or find someone that more fits your needs. Good luck.

[Asker]

-I completely agree with you. I just found out on my research that Irish men are having a tendency to open up how they feel. They are not the best when it comes to dealing with emotions and affections. I guess, I just have to talk to him properly when I get to see him next month hopefully.

[Astoriana]

Is it possible that he’s just not a morning person and you’re trying to connect with him at a time that he’s not interested in talking?

Though I do agree with other posters in that someone who isn’t reciprocating your efforts to maintain the relationship isn’t a good partner.

[Asker]

-I guess he isn’t a morning person, he wakes up early and does’t get enough and deep sleep. He is cranky in the day time, Whenever we are together and he is like that I just keep quiet and he just come around. We are the total opposite, that’s why I am having a hard time dealing with his attitude coz I am cheerful, happy, goofy, patient, chill and just affectionate. Maybe I was expecting him to reciprocate how I feel towards him.

[Astoriana]

You have to think about whether the reality of your relationship is worth holding onto the fantasy for.

[Asker]

-You are right, I should know where this relationship is heading to.

[Lando84]

You wouldn't respect a guy if they were too available. Accept that ldr sucks and it is probably more your desire to compensate for the distance/less contact that is the issue. My advice is to focus more on yourself and your happiness and not worry so much. If ldr isn't working, remove the distance or break up. Plenty of good guys out there

[Asker]

-LDR sucks absofreakingutely... I try my best not to dwell so much on the negativity it gives me. I hate negative vibes since I am just a hill person. Somehow it gets into my nerves and I just tend to shrug it off...

[Anonymous]

I'm an Irish girl and
I can be swamped in my own head that
I don't even think about my surroundings lol. With so many things to do and things on mind, the people I love can be on the receiving end of my moodiness.
He will come back to you if you just leave him do his thing or whatever and once things have settled down a bit he will come looking for you lol 😊
Keep yourself busy don't focus all your attention on him

[Asker]

-That is what I am trying to do. I let him do his thing and don’t bug him. I always wait for him to message me and start convos coz I know what he is like. I keep on reminding him that we should not make this relationship difficult coz for the fact we are already in an LDR, it sucks big time. We are both matured enough to realize and prioritize things. I am just glad he still try you know to keep up with me-Hope all will be better days ahead

[BadAssHunter]

He sounds bipolar. He can only fix himself, you can't. Aww I'm. mot a submissive woman so I'll tell it like it is and put a man. in his place. If suggest you tell him to get his sheit together and act right. He's too old to be acting this way. You've been patient and put up with his attitude long enough so he needs to make up his mind.

[Asker]

-I actually calls him bipolar!!! Hahaha. We definitely need a sit down talk in time.

[BadAssHunter]

Yes lol but remember to do what you need not what you want. If it's not meant to be then it's no going to work out and you'll only end up hurting yourself in the end.

[Asker]

-Yes, you are right! that’s why I am holding back my feelings for him as well coz I know in the end I will be the one who will be hurt the most and I don’t want to be in that situation.

[BadAssHunter]

I wouldn't either. It's hard but worth it in the end. Say what you need to say and do what you need to do.

[Asker]

-oh yeah, will figure this out once I see him again

[BadAssHunter]

Best of luck to you, sister!

[chatwanderer]

I would say forget about him. Find a person who is local and vocal. This is jus my opinion but he is probably in a position in his life where he doesn't need a ldr he's going through a lot and taking it out on you. As a person you don't need this stress especially from someone you may never meet. Try your luck with a person who will value your efforts.

[chatwanderer]

I didn't know you seen him already may have read it wrong but still is no reason to be mean

[Asker]

-That’s also my thoughts are. I actually asked him if he still wants to be with me that everything is okay with us and he said yes. I thought he was trying to break up with me on the way he is acting right now. Best thing to do is to talk to him in person for one last try and well see how it goes...

[biotchpls]

It sounds like a lot of useless stress. I think you really need to take a step back and think about what you honestly want and expect from a relationship.

[Asker]

-This has been giving me useless stress and anxiety. All i want is just constant communication, assurance so i will know where I stand and how we move forward in the future.

[Onlythisone]

Doesn't have anything to do with being Irish... Angry people are always angry. Just leave him alone and he'll change his mind if he wants to.

[Asker]

- I give him lots if space, this may sound unbelievable but we don’t argue about jealousy, trust issues.

[Yakasmashi]

He is just using u dump him...
But you can also do this : go over to his place... and see what is going on...
Try to talk on webcam ( hangouts, kik, Skype etc)
Talk on the phone
Write letters
Send a care package etc

[Asker]

-I always make sure we have sexy time, romantic time, catching up time whether videocalls or messages.

[pink1980]

Honestly he sounds like way to much work. Why should you have to always be the one accepting his behavior? You don’t. Walk away.

[Asker]

-he works a lot and I think work drags his behavior towards certain things. I know the gravity of stress he is at right now thats why as much as possible I don’t want to be a burden to him, it’s just he needs to sort things out, figure out how can he better deal his attitude and stressors in life.

[BillyB4]

Just tell him about how you feel. To be completely honest though, from what I’ve seen, unless you have a set date for when you’re going to live in the same location, a long distance relationship most likely won’t work to begin with.

[Asker]

-You have a point. We better need to talk in person about that. It all changes the game

[Sexy_Fun_Woman]

I take off my top whenever me and boyfriend are having an argument. I win everytime.

[rahul_24]

That's so unfair lol

[Asker]

-hahaha! clever trick!!!

[Synttacks]

I guess I'm Irish then 😝
Seriously though you should talk it out with him about what you both want and if it's mismatching enough that it won't work then leave.

[Asker]

-It’s all about communication and clarity at the end of the day. Hope it goes well in the end. If not then just have to accept whatever might happen

[Reddwolf]

Well I'm Irish and Scottish and the only time I am grumpy or really pissed off is when I don't have any caffeine or when someone abuses anyone

[Asker]

-He is in a good mood when golfing, drinking, and watching rugby 😂 He gets to be grumpy in the morning.

[DeathJack]

Has it occurred to you that given all that's going on he may have D épée? That would explain eventing you've just written down.

[DeathJack]

Everyone has d épée what ever that is. Depression 😂😂😂

[abundantlyrich]

You said he has hormonal issues : a medical issue. You just have to accept it as normal.

[Asker]

-Yeah, but sometimes you can only do soo much for that person. I am a very patient individual but if you get to experience that kind of attitude every single day recently, then there is a chance you will snap also.

[abundantlyrich]

He can't help it...

[Chadssss]

Dump him... he takes u for granted... if he wants to be with u he'll make the effort to put things right... the excuse of a grumpy Irish man is bullshit... if he really wants to be with u, he'll fight for your affections

[Asker]

-He is a great boyfriend in some ways but it just give me a lot of confusion towards his grumpiness. I will talk with him once we see each other again.

[Crazyaboutu]

men and women are same wherever they are it's about act and react from the first, So it's like a child growing and day by day has new experiences.

[Asker]

-I agree but it depends on how you react wth it.

[Nicms]

He needs to understand that his moods should never be your problem. He's being selfish and needs to know that

[Asker]

-He is kinda insensitive and selfish right now. I feel like he doesn’t want me in his life as of the moment.

[Asker]

-He is kinda insensitive and selfish at this point. I will have to talk to him in the next few days. This gotta stop

[Nicms]

Talk to him about it. If he can't or won't see how he affects you then I'd say move on. Only he can change him you know

[Asker]

-Definitely, we need to work this out or not. if we are still on the same page of not.

[Nicms]

Just try not to accept him saying "well that's just how I am". I've been down that road and it'll only hurt you both. Absolute honesty will see you through. And stick up for yourself, you deserve a healthy relationship

[MysticMac27]

Grumpiness in men could be from low testosterone levels... google testro x. its a supplement that has helped me n other men increase their testosterone levels naturally

[Asker]

-You are right! I think he is dealing with andraupausal. He has been taking hormonal vitamins to correct his hormones

[MysticMac27]

Try testro x that shot works naturally

[moose24]

If he is Irish give him booze lol jk jk or coffee 😂

[Asker]

-Of course! booze can cure everything on his side.

[pinayfit]

I always spread positivity around him and don’t ever join him when he’s on his bad days lol

[Asker]

-yea true!!! I just ignore him and try not to get affected with it.

[pinayfit]

Yep because when youfight back it’s just adding gas to the fire and its stops them when they see you are not affected.

[Asker]

-You are correct! Just learning the art of deadma! hehhehe

[pinayfit]

Lol :)

[Steve37]

Pull him a pint o' Guinness... he'll be as agreeable as a baby on a teet.

[Asker]

-always does if we are together. He can go out and drink anytime...

[drapiza110]

Lol lol lol they get like that. You only have two choices. But they are more of a secret. You'll have to write to find out

[krowlordz]

Either get him a beer, blowjob or a sandwich, he's Irish, if possible give him all three and he might eat you out right after

[Asker]

-He is not grumpy when we are together. Irish men are just complicated.

[krowlordz]

Then get him a couple beers

[Anonymous]

Curious as to why Irish has to do with his moods? Are a lot of Irish men like this?

[Ads123]

No it does not this is just the guy himself, being Irish doesn't make him angry by nature,

[Opinion Owner]

Figured that aye. Thanks

[Asker]

-They say Irish men are like, I read some articles about it as well, I am not stereotyping Irish people but he himself is aware of it. that’s why I did a lot of digging on behaviors and stuff like that to better understand him

[Opinion Owner]

Where I work we have two Irish men and they are lovely

[Asker]

-HE is a great boyfriend but the downside is that attitude of him where he gets grumpy distant to me.

[Paulthemazing]

Joke: well don't take his lick my charms

Well figure out what makes him grumpy

[Asker]

-I know the reasons why he is grumpy but the sad thing is He can’t deal it properly.

[characterJoe]

What are the reasons?

[Asker]

@characterJoe work stress, family issue, on going divorce battle, hormonal changes , sleep deprivation, over fatigueness... or maybe I am also included hehehhe

[pizzaman123]

Start a slow hands up his leg. He won't be grumpy long.

[benb1987]

Turn up naked with beer and pizza.

[characterJoe]

If he doesn't get happy with food, alcohol, and sex, then he is hopeless! 🤣

[Asker]

-Problem is whenever we are away with each other again, he tends to be grumpy all the time and I am set aside whenever he feels tired, wrecked, busy which shouldn’t be the case since I am the girlfriend.

[boooooo]

Send him on his way !! Find a decent fela

[Asker]

-You made me think about this. Thanks

[winniethepoah]

What does being Irish have anything to do with it?

[availableuponrequest]

Stereotypes lol

[winniethepoah]

I never knew grumpy, moody, and distant were stereotypes of Irish people..

[availableuponrequest]

Who knows, not me. I said stereotypes cuz that's what she was doing

[Asker]

-Sorry guys but believe it or not I am not stereotyping Irish lads here. All I was saying is part of his upbringing, culture, surroundings contributed his attitude towards relationship etc. He always emphasize that Irish men are like that not all but most of his friends family. I read a lot of articles concerning this and have better understanding

[YoungSandwiches]

His Irish. Grumpy is their happy.

[Asker]

-So true... It’s part of their life. lol

[Asker]

-Grumpy is their nature!

[Sha84]

tell him to drop the attitude or you

[Asker]

-just waiting to finalize his schedule to see me

[CaseyBlack]

Put duct tape over his mouth.

[Asker]

-hahhaha! will do that once I see him again.

[IsoUser]

Shock Him, Ask him to coffee 😀😀😀😀😀

[Asker]

-he don’t like coffee. Maybe tea will do hehehe

[Asker]

-He don’t like coffee, perhaps a tea. hehehe

[IsoUser]

Well a Tea then, something strong lol

[Asker]

-something like a tranquilizer to calm him down...

[IsoUser]

An you're sure this androgynous person isn't gay? lmao Waiting for your reply, then I'll answer your question. Just be yourself an be patient till then 🤗🤗😚🤔🤔

[Bighomie100]

You can't bkuz you probably the reason he's grumpy

[Asker]

-Maybe I am. He is just a complete wreck right now.

[nated]

Give him space tbh

[BadAssHunter]

She does give him space...

[Asker]

-I always give him space, I don’t disturb him while working or out with friends. I just want to have a constant communication with him.

[Kandy-Kane]

Ditch his ass

[Asker]

-oh i will if he don’t get his shit together

[DrLlama]

You're nuts, sorry.

[Revolver_]

Handle him

[Asker]

-It is about time to know the real deal.

[Revolver_]

Interesting

[Anonymous]

Give him a blow job.

[Asker]

-always!

[mjf4fun]

Sex works

[Asker]

-always

[AlexDelux]

Sugar

[Anonymous]

Dump him, please

[Asker]

-More or else once I talk to him in person